Need to Lose 100 LBS -Robins Thread !

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  • sirtxt
    sirtxt Posts: 39
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    My Thursday truth - I have joked for years that I ate out of comfort - to hide/mask feelings I did not want to deal with... I know I ate to the point of "feeling full", hell "stuffed" - leaving me focused on that feeling as opposed to the feelings I did not want to feel.

    As I have started my journey with MFP, which has been successful and very appealing to me, I find that I no longer have that "full feeling" to mask the ugly feelings I have not dealt with for so long.

    I refuse to give into using food as my faithful standby friend that has never double crossed me, but damn it I have had some really rough moments emotionally - feelings of not being good enough, loneliness, etc. The exercise helps, but the emotions always seem to hit when I cannot get up and go walk it off so to speak. LOL

    I am sure I will have to face some of the baggage I have been dragging around for years. If only the "airport of life" had lost those pieces of luggage - LOL

    I just had to share and try to let go

    John
  • Helenavee42
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    Well my mom got out of the hospital late last night. She is home and doing better. She does have an infection but they have given her stuff for it. They decided to do a blood transfusion, which I think was a really good idea and I'm surprised they did not do it sooner.

    Thursday truth: I have had wayyyy to much coffee the past few days. My boss bought a kuerig (Sp?) for the office and a big variety pack of coffees so i have been indulging.

    I will catch up on here later. Have a great day.
    Helena
  • RobinsEgg
    RobinsEgg Posts: 3,702 Member
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    My Thursday truth - I have joked for years that I ate out of comfort - to hide/mask feelings I did not want to deal with... I know I ate to the point of "feeling full", hell "stuffed" - leaving me focused on that feeling as opposed to the feelings I did not want to feel.

    As I have started my journey with MFP, which has been successful and very appealing to me, I find that I no longer have that "full feeling" to mask the ugly feelings I have not dealt with for so long.

    I refuse to give into using food as my faithful standby friend that has never double crossed me, but damn it I have had some really rough moments emotionally - feelings of not being good enough, loneliness, etc. The exercise helps, but the emotions always seem to hit when I cannot get up and go walk it off so to speak. LOL

    I am sure I will have to face some of the baggage I have been dragging around for years. If only the "airport of life" had lost those pieces of luggage - LOL

    I just had to share and try to let go

    John

    John - this is a very safe place to explore these feelings and let them out. Good for you for looking them square in the eye and trying to speak their name and getting some of them out in the open. Please feel free to do so as often as you need.
  • skinnyjeanzbound
    skinnyjeanzbound Posts: 3,932 Member
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    @helena--glad your mom is doing better and home from the hospital. :flowerforyou:

    @john--I agree with robin--talking about it here will help. I didn't go throgh the same exact thing b/c I've never been a "comfort eater"--I tend to not eat when I'm really upset. However, I had a realization a few months into this journey that I was afraid of a lot! I was afraid of how I would look trying certain activities, or of what people would think of me if I couldn't do them due to my weight. I was afraid to go shopping with thin friends for fear they would see what size I wore. I was afraid to do anything even slightly athletic for fear of how much I would sweat. I could go on and on and on. This was a really rough realization for me b/c I've always thought of myself as a very strong and confident person--and in many aspects of my life I still was--but when it came to anything impacted by my weight, I was often paralyzed by the fear. Sharing and shedding those fears in this thread really helped me get past that uncomfortable period in this process. If not for the support here, I might have let it push me back to my old ways.

    AFM--just taking a quick break from grading. I will come back later to complete personals and Thursday Truth.

    Grading Goals:
    1. 17/73 Summer reading quizzes
    2. 2/73 Columber essays
  • susan2396
    susan2396 Posts: 794 Member
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    Just did a quick breeze through, but want to go back and spend a little more time reading posts. I love following everyone's journey through the ups and downs.

    I did want to send a quick share in conjunction to BJ's post. I have a friend I'm following on MFP. She started in October 2009 at 310 and has lost 169.9 lbs by eating less and moving more plus being married with 3 kids and in the ministry.. As much as I want this weight off overnight, I know I need to change mentally first and understand my eating/exercising needs to change for life. It's not a quick fix with pills, shakes, grapefruit, or any other type of program. I just need to eat less and move more. I'm so proud of her and she's inspired me.
  • mandyfkelley
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    What a supportive and positive thread! I am in week 3 on MFP and really have gotten a lot out of all of the posts (of course, I lost an hour or so of my evening- but totally worth it!).

    I am a 35 year old mom/wife/mrktg director/etc that needs to lose 100 lbs to be healthy again. I have an awesome husband who has never said a word as i slowly gained over 100 lbs throughout our 16 year marriage. He is a health and PE teacher (ironic- huh!) and I know that he has wanted me to be healthier, but he knew I had to decide for myself. After a summer of my feet swelling anytime I walked outside, being short of breath all the time, and even having trouble getting my seat belt to fit on a plane, I decided that enough was enough!

    Tracking my food has helped a lot and I am very motivated by earning those extra workout calories. I have a fitbit flex that I wear everywhere and am constantly syncing it to see how close I am to my goals. I would love to hear how others kept themselves motivated when the road ahead was so long? I am trying to celebrate the little milestones but can feel a little overwhelmed when I think of how far I need to go.

    Thanks for letting me crash this thread- like I mentioned, I am a newbie and haven't really connected with a group yet.
  • skinnyjeanzbound
    skinnyjeanzbound Posts: 3,932 Member
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    @bj--I agree with susan. So many times people use (often expensive) methods that help them lose quickly. However, they haven't mentally changed their attitudes and habits when it comes to food and exercise, so they just gain it back. I would just let those people know you're not interested in what they are peddling because you aren't interested in expensive quick-fixes--you are committed to lasting results.

    AFM--another quick grading break. I'm trying to figure out dinner--not much in the house and I'm tempted to get chinese take-away, but am trying to resist. :devil:

    Finished 1/3 classes of AP tests. Be back in a bit. :smile:
  • Lauriek70
    Lauriek70 Posts: 2,087 Member
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    BJ- I agree with everyone else. You are doing what is best for you and learning how to manage your weight over the long term. You are doing great with your weight loss.

    Karen-Good luck with the grading and I hope you figured out something good for dinner. I will see how I do with not taking grading home with me. Too many times last year the papers went for a ride in the car and nothing got done. I am going to double check on the number allowed in a science lab but we have had this issue before and nothing gets done about it.

    John- vent here about your feelings, we have all been there. Like Karen said, we all had to face our fears at some point. For me, my weight was like a security blanket since it kept me from failing at different things simply because I felt I was too heavy to do them or just didn't want to. I was happy with who I was but finally something clicked and I realized that I was missing out on life and wanted to do more.

    Kelly- I understand your frustration with the weight going down then stopping at a certain point, creeping up then holding steady for a while as I experience a very close pattern. It could be related to TOM or some other natural cycle that occurs in your body.

    Today, the school day was better and the kids lockers were hand washed according to the administrator. The students were slightly better today and we survived the first lab. I hope things are improving and that I am just overly tired. I did make it to the gym tonight and I did something. Granted, I could have worked harder but just did not feel like it and I tried a couple of different activities. I ended up talking to another one of my trainer's clients, so we compared exercises. I did feel better after wards so hopefully, I will stay motivated to exercise for the next couple of weeks.

    Plans for the week:
    Sunday- Rest day DONE
    Monday- Trainer long run 2.5 miles DONE
    Tuesday-Gym weight NOT DONE REST DAY
    Wednesday- Rest day DONE
    Thursday- Gym- cardio and drills NO Drill, light cardio
    Friday- Climbing
    Saturday- bike I hope
  • grandmakaye44
    grandmakaye44 Posts: 1,205 Member
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    mandyfkelley--Welcome to the thread. Being accountable to my friends here has really helped me keep going. A commitment to daily logging and posting has also really helped me. I have set my goal for 25# at a time. I'm on my fourth 25# goal. I'm approaching my 1 year anniversary, and am pleased with what I have accomplished. As others have said, eat less and move more. For me its important to not have any "bad" or "forbidden" foods. Anything goes as long as it fits my calorie goals. I don't wear clothes that are too big. When I start feeling like they are too big, I go shopping. A lot of my shopping is at thrift stores, but having clothes that fit really helps me to see how far I have come. I'm wearing 14-16 now, and I started out at 24-26. Hope some of these suggestions help you. I'll be watching for your posts.
    Thursday truth: I'm really enjoying this time of year with all of the fresh produce. DH grew watermelon this year and it is delicious! We also have lots of little cherry tomatoes that are as sweet as candy. I'll miss all this good stuff when winter comes.
    I continue to be amazed and inspired by each of you. As I told Mandy, the friendship and accountability that I feel here is largely responsible for me being able to continue on with this journey.
    Onward and downward. Kaye
  • Lauriek70
    Lauriek70 Posts: 2,087 Member
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    Many of you know I am thinking about biking across America next year, but I am not sure if I can handle 50 days on a bike. I was looking on-line last night at bike tour companies. They offer all-inclusive trips of different states and Europe. The bike rides can be customized based on how you feel that day and your level of comfort doing hills etc. There is van support so if you want to ride you can and the ride each days last between 2-5 hours. Would anyone be interested in doing a 6-8 day bike tour somewhere in the US? The time frame would be next summer, so I was thinking of the New England area. The cost of the trip includes the bike rental. I was looking at Vermont bike tours. The website also provides a details overview of the trip. The overnight hotels are also included and include very nice inns. You can also extend your stay if you want. You can even go swimming or Kayaking on some of the trips for a change of pace.

    If people are interested maybe we can coordinate a trip so we can all meet up. Let me know what you think.
  • lmackbethl
    lmackbethl Posts: 156
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    @Tammy -- Congratulations!!! Keep on doing the happy dance!!! You deserve it (not to mention it burns some calories)!!! :flowerforyou: :drinker: :flowerforyou:
    @John -- I struggle with that too. It gets easier. :flowerforyou:
    @BJ -- Keep doing what you're doing - it's working. I like Lori's idea of asking all these people who want to "help" to clean the house... or watch the kids or cook healthy meals or do yard work, so you can devote more time to working out and healthy living. :laugh:
    @Kelley -- nice gym victory!! You show those guys how to lift! :smile:
    @Vicki -- sorry work is so stressful lately. :noway:
    @Kris -- hope the visit is going well!
    @Laurie -- The bike trip sounds like fun! Unlikely that I could commit since I'm perpetually strapped for cash and my adventures have to be as inexpensive as possible, plus I'll be saving every penny to buy a farm in Vermont. But I am in New England and could probably provide support on your way.
    @Alison -- Great to see you!!! Welcome back!

    Welcome to the newbies! Keep dropping in and you will find a very supportive community here.

    Thursday truth... Time to re-focus!!!! I have been eating too much and need to recommit to staying at or under goal so I can get the scale moving again. It's hard when I pick up overnight shifts (which I'm doing for about six weekends in a row), because I tend to munch to stay awake. But I can do this, and I will!!!! Sad that swimming is coming to a close and we've had afternoon thunderstorms (or at least threats of them) every day that have messed with my plans this week. I will have to recommit to hiking, kayaking, and biking to take the place of my beloved swimming. :sad:
  • skinnyjeanzbound
    skinnyjeanzbound Posts: 3,932 Member
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    @laurie--I wish I could join you on a bike trip next summer, but I just don't see how it's possible for me money-wise. :sad: Even though the bike rental is included, I still feel I would have to buy a bicycle for training--training on a stationary bike just wouldn't cut it for that type of a trip. But even if I could swing that cost, I have 2 close friends getting married next summer and both will require travel. The first one is only in Wisconsin, but it's 5 hours away so will definitely require 1-2 nights in a hotel depending on what time they hold the ceremony. The 2nd wedding is the one in the Dominican Republic and DH and I are looking to make it a pretty nice trip--7 or 8 nights + a room upgrade. We don't take many holidays together, so we want to splurge a bit. Keep me posted and if I win the lottery, I will try to join you. :wink: I'm glad today was a little better and tomorrow is Friday!!! :drinker:

    @kaye--I feel the same way about this thread. Wow, I can't believe you've gone down so many sizes in a year--that's truly inspiring. I also refuse to wear big clothes--I have a donation bag in the spare bedroom and when something is too big, I toss it in. When the bag gets full I go to Good Will, drop off the bag, and shop for a few "new" items for myself.

    @mandy--welcome! :flowerforyou: One way I stay motivated is to sign up for races. I started running when I was about 235 lbs and registered for a race 6 weeks away--it forced me to keep working through the couch to 5k program, even when I really didn't feel like running. Now, I love to run and also enjoy challenging myself with obstacle and mud runs. I'm motivated to exercise by my desire to improve my performance at these events. I also use vacation plans to stay focused. For example, I had a trip to Switzerland planned for this summer since last January--I really wanted to be healthy and fit enough to enjoy the trip. Now I'm looking forward to a trip to the DR next summer--my desire to be really comfortable in a bathing suit is keeping me from caving to the food cravings.

    @nvirgo--so sorry to hear you were sick, but glad you are feeling better now. :flowerforyou:

    @kelley--BACK AWAY FROM THE WINDOW AND PUT DOWN THE SCALE!! :laugh: Seriously, I'm darn lucky my bathroom doesn't have a window b/c I'm in the same boat. My weight finally dropped back down to 185 when I returned from my trip and now it's back up to 190. I know it's normal to see a small gain when you adjust calories up, but it's still so frustrating especially since I've been so much better with my macros. :mad:

    @lori--thanks for the kind words about teachers--it's nice to be appreciated. :flowerforyou:

    @robin--73 papers is a lot, but I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to take 3 sections of AP. My student teacher really can't help with their papers--he's taking over my other 2 junior honors classes. He will be getting their 53 papers to grade over the weekend, so that does help in the greater scheme of things.

    Thursday Truth:
    I wasn't nearly as productive as I'd hoped to be with the grading today. I spent a lot of time going over plans with my student teacher, and we also made all of our copies for next week--so I got a lot done, but it wasn't grading. If I can get the quizzes done by the end of the day tomorrow, then I will only have their essays to grade--these particular essays are only screeners, so I don't need to truly grade them; I just need to read and give one positive and one negative comment on each essay. Oh and did I mention I'm also collecting 73 AP journals tomorrow. :noway: At least those can't come home with me b/c they are too heavy to transport, so they will have to wait until next week.

    Oh, I didn't cave in to the chinese take away. I found some deli roast beef my husband had bought, so I made a sandwich for dinner instead. Much healthier. :happy:

    Grading Goals:
    1. 38/73 Summer reading quizzes MORE THAN HALFWAY DONE!! :smile:
    2. 2/73 Columber essays

    Exercise Goals:
    Sat--rest day (sick)
    Sun--walk gunner DONE
    Mon--walk gunner DONE + gym DONE
    Tues--walk gunner DONE + gym NOT DONE
    Wed--walk gunner DONE + gym DONE
    Thurs--walk gunner DONE
    Fri--walk gunner
  • RobinsEgg
    RobinsEgg Posts: 3,702 Member
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    Laurie - if I road a bike I'd love to join you on a tour of New England - what a blast that would be!

    I'm kind of grumpy tonight. I skipped yesterday doing upper body workout and didn't feel bad, just called it a rest day in my notebook. But darn prednisone change kicked in today and I can't workout - I can't do squats - AURGH! I have awful hip pain right now - - no big deal I have a pain pill and i'm going to take it and it will be fine (I'll just be gooned out :wink: ) well, I guess that will fix the grumpy too, so, thanks for listening!
  • TOPSmarca
    TOPSmarca Posts: 187 Member
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    I FINALLY HIT MY 25 LB. MARK!!!! I have felt like I was losing so slowly but I have kept a 5 lb. a month pace for 5 straight months.... not as slow as it has seemed!!!
  • BohemianCoast
    BohemianCoast Posts: 349 Member
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    Friday Fitness! About time too. Here's the plan:

    Today -- 90 minutes of badminton DONE woo hoo. And a bit of walking. We played badminton and walked in the first parts of the Olympic Park to reopen as a park. So we were playing badminton in the Copper Box, the arena where we watched Goalball during the paralympics last year. It was sort of fantastic really.
    Saturday -- Parkrun maybe....?
    Sunday -- badminton, though at our regular centre rather than the Olympic Park this time.
    Monday -- morris plus there might still be some back to school shopping.
    Tuesday -- dance mat?
    Wednesday -- badminton, or a walk, or a run, or a swim... Definitely want to squeeze in a last lido swim or two after most of the schools are back but before it gets cold.
    Thursday -- run

    Plus three weights workouts for sure.

    Thanks for all the good wishes, they're really cheering! I am really happy to be back. It was hard for the first couple of days but now I'm exercising properly again and cooking decent food I think it will be ok.

    @Kelley -- I bet you looked awesome lifting those heavy weights in the gym. No wonder the lads were impressed.
    @Kaye, John -- I ended up resetting the sugar macro higher because I was always missing the target (I had cut carbs from 55% to 40%) and then I'd look at my diary and it wasn't even just fruit, I was going over on things like onions and tomatoes! So I upped it a bit so I'd feel better about it.
    @BJCamp1978 -- well, my little girl has lost nearly five pounds this week, and she's just eating 1500 cals of proper food + her exercise calories. That's just what happens on the first week. There's good science behind it; the body stores its immediate reserves in liquid form and that's the first 3-4 pounds you lose and gain. I don't think anyone needs to spend masses of $$$ on magic formulas. Do they realise how well you've done just by looking after yourself? Sometimes people need to be reminded that it's not a race.
    @John -- I think it's good to share, and good luck finding other ways to get that feeling of comfort. I found that exercise helped a lot for me -- not to the point of exhaustion, but just the feeling of getting out into the fresh air and getting my heart rate up a bit. It just feels *so good*... when you stop! I also listened to Paul McKenna's CD a few times, which is all about visualising the inner, thinner you that feels good about their body and how it moves -- and includes some visualisations of eating the way thin people do, by enjoying everything you eat and then stopping well before you feel stuffed.
    @Helena -- too much coffee is sort of my special vice.
    @Mandy -- welcome! This is a great thread! One of the things that was a lovely surprise for me is that it turned out that I didn't need to lose 100 pounds to be healthy again. After I'd lost, oh, I don't know, somewhere between 30 and 40 pounds, I found I could do all sorts of activities that were really hard or impossible for me when I started. And when I got asked on a survey 'on how many days in the last 30 have you done 30 minutes of moderate or vigorous exercise' and I said 'I think probably 28', I suddenly realised that I was actually already a whole lot healthier than many 'healthy weight' people who never even walk anywhere. Of course that was before the Summer of Fish and Chips, but there you go. My magic tip for keeping going is forgetting that it's 100 pounds, and thinking of it as losing 10 pounds. Because actually, we all know how to lose ten pounds. And then doing it again. Until you're done.
    @Laurie -- I think the bike trip sounds like a fantastic idea, but I personally won't be able to have a trip to the US next year.
    @Marca -- CONGRATS on 25! Slowly is the best way, and 5lb a month isn't all that slow anyway.

    Hope you're all having a great Friday. The weekend is nearly upon us!

    Alison
  • kah68
    kah68 Posts: 1,515 Member
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    @Laurie~No more TOM for me, although I know my hormones are all over the place now (without going into too much detail for the guys) – so they could definitely be playing a role (for you and Karen too) with the inconsistency of that darn scale! The bike tour is a fabulous idea! I would love to do it, but vacation-wise (and financially) I can’t next summer. With a 11-day cruise in March and a 7-day one in October that I’m saving for and the time I’m taking off of work for those cruises, I don’t think I can swing it. I would love to do that sometime though.

    @John~I think you hit the nail right on the head. You feel the same way so many of us feel. Gaining weight for me was a way of putting up a wall – what’s worse is that I didn’t know I was doing it but after an emotional roller-roaster of things in my life it was a way for me to cope and protect myself, I guess. Karen speaks volumes about the things I was afraid of and similar patterns to what Laurie said as well. I just decided one day that I needed to let go, learn to trust others and trust myself. I still have trust issues, but I have grown by leaps and bounds with this. It’s definitely a process. I think having the support of friends here has really helped, I’m not sure I would have made it this far otherwise. Think of this place as a safety-net, we’re always here with a shoulder to lean on – about anything!

    @Karen~My bathroom doesn’t have a window either, but I have a straight shot through the bedroom window from the bathroom! :laugh:

    @Robin~I’m sorry your hip is hurting, LOL at the pain pill getting rid of the grumpy – with some of those you don’t have a care in the world!

    @Marca~Congrats on your 25# milestone, great achievement!

    Friday Fitness~Its been a decent week of fitness, including an extra session with my trainer. I’m headed to the gym after work for what I hope is a long cardio workout, have plans with my trainer & some other friends tonight so it will depend on timing – need to burn some calories to compensate for the alcohol consumption, I’m sure! Tomorrow is my long-anticipated hair cut/color with a new stylist that specializes in curly hair. Was going to see my mom/grandmother beforehand, but they want to see me afterwards. This leaves the morning open where I can hopefully get meals planned and shopping done for next week.

    Exercise Goals:

    Sunday~Training DONE! :bigsmile:
    Monday~Training DONE! :bigsmile:
    Tuesday~Rest Day
    Wednesday~Training DONE! :bigsmile:
    Thursday~Rest Day
    Friday~Treadmill/Stairmill
    Saturday~None

    Have a great day!
  • RobinsEgg
    RobinsEgg Posts: 3,702 Member
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    One of my friends posted this.... It's so good I have to share it.... Be proud of every moment... Relax. One day at a time. Stay positive even when you want to crumble in your problems. Don't rush your journey or you will miss the important things along the way. Sprint harder when you feel like quitting. Lift heavier when you feel like you are weak. Don't stare at yourself in the mirror to find faults...you have them...we all have them, but we wouldn't be human without them. If someone is bigger than you- so what. If someone is leaner than you- so what...when you are focused on all the right things- those irrelevant things stay irrelevant. You will have fat days, skinny days, "I'm feeling awesome days" and "I feel horrible days"... That's life and champions embrace life. Always, always, always remember... Progress is progress
  • RobinsEgg
    RobinsEgg Posts: 3,702 Member
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    Hey Gang - do you have any ideas for the SEPTEMBER CHALLENGE in addition to losing 4 LBS of course????
  • Lori0510
    Lori0510 Posts: 24 Member
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    John- vent here about your feelings, we have all been there. Like Karen said, we all had to face our fears at some point. For me, my weight was like a security blanket since it kept me from failing at different things simply because I felt I was too heavy to do them or just didn't want to. I was happy with who I was but finally something clicked and I realized that I was missing out on life and wanted to do more.


    Wow. John's last post and kah68's response above really hit a nerve with me. I also use food to mask my feelings, and recognize that I need to deal with that in order to be successful in the long run. It's something I'm really struggling with right now and I'm seeing my daily food diaries showing it. But I also am learning that I hide behind the weight - to try to become invisible and not put myself out there for fear of failing. Like kah68 said, it's been like a security blanket. Some aha moments today from you all. Not that I have the answers yet, but I think awareness is part of the answer.

    This afternoon I'm going to help serve food to my sons' high school football team - their pre-game meal. Last night I made 10 boxes of pasta! This should be an interesting event. lol.

    Hope you all have a good rest of the day.
  • TOPSmarca
    TOPSmarca Posts: 187 Member
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    I am sure I will have to face some of the baggage I have been dragging around for years. If only the "airport of life" had lost those pieces of luggage - LOL

    I just had to share and try to let go

    John
    John, my mother, a VERY wise woman, says you never bury feelings dead, you bury them alive and they WILL claw their way to the surface eventually. So GOOD for you!!! Feelings are neither right nor wrong (your reactions to them can be) and the perception that negative feelings are bad is why, I think, people try so hard to bury them! So, listen to your feelings and let them tell you something about who you are, where you are right now and then decide where you WANT to go!!!