Why are people on these forums so mean?

melsmith612

I completely agree with original post. Who are you to judge someone? Just do your thing and move along. Peace and God bless

But God judges everyone, and I'm just trying to be more like him :[

If that were true, you would have capitalized "him".

katg73

I think because you don't have to "filter" your thoughts because it's the net, not real life, and you won't face the same consequences. I'll bet in real life many of the "mean" ones here are actually lovely people..they just have knee jerk reactions to some questions/comments and type before they think.

Plus...many people trying to lose weight and get fit have deep rooted self esteem issues (I struggle with this at times as well..although it's better as I get older). Putting others down often gives poeple a "rush" of imagined superiority, and when you get very little approval in your real life because you're fat and unfit, that feeling can be like crack cocaine rush to some.

WELL SAID.

contingencyplan

In the case of people with Eating Disorders - There is nothing this site can do for them other than give them a way of making things worse by enabling them with a calorie tracker. The sooner they realize that the road to recovery won't begin until they either a) seek professional help or b) hit rock bottom somehow, the better. Until then they had better stay off here because it will only make things worse for them. As for the ones who have no desire to recover or "aren't ready for recovery," they are not welcome here. This site promotes health and fitness. If your goals do not lie in health and fitness, get lost. You are not welcome. And we're not afraid to make it known that these people are not welcome here with how they promote unhealthy lifestyles.

Regarding the actual topic of your question, try answering the same question over. And over. And over. And over. And over. All from people who have no clue what the difference between a dumbbell and a barbell is but think they're ready to tackle a home DVD fitness program that is clearly marked as being FOR ADVANCED USERS ONLY just because they started some fad diet a while ago and although they saw results the weight came right back.

The fact of the matter is that pretty much anyone after spending 3 or so months on the forums and seeing the exact same questions posted over and over and over again all by people with unrealistic goals and unrealistic timeframes who are willing to do anything and everything EXCEPT for bust their butt in the gym to get there will get fed up with it.

If you're here to get fit and healthy and you're willing to work for it and conduct research into things, great. I'll help you however I can. But if you are going to make excuses for yourself, or try to tackle something that is CLEARLY beyond your level making you liable to injure yourself severely, or are just going to dive into another fad program, I'm not going to be the one to support you. I'm going to be the one guy in the thread who, instead of going "YAY!" calls you out on it and points out the problems with your little plan. And if you think I'm being mean because I'm trying to make sure you get on track towards a REALISTIC goal within a REALISTIC timeframe by adopting healthy lifestyle choices and making sure you're following an exercise regimen that is above all, SAFE, and won't wreck your knees or back, then fine! I'm mean. Deal with it. It happens after a while of the same things over. And over. And over. And over.

yoovie

Because we're all eating like 1200 calories, starving, trying to compare ourselves to other thinner people on this site and it makes us all a tad bit stabby.

here let me help you with this post

Because we're all eating like 2000 calories, working out, always comparing ourselves to the people we used to be and it makes us all a tad bit happy.

there we go! :drinker: much better :happy:

yoovie

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Kinda like people who skip all their workouts and eat whatever they want and tell themselves over and over that they dont care and there are no real consequences to their actions and inactions as long as they are spending time on a fitness website saying good job to people and procrastinating doing anything because they are too busy on the internet looking at fun fitness quotes and the statuses of people actually working out! Cause they are primarily looking for attention in the form of everlasting support for a struggle they arent progressing with (or even giving 25% effort) and by not telling them that they are doing it wrong, we are totally validating their stubborn rejection of change.

marisablakley

[/quote]
They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.
[/quote]

I think this is spot on.

melsmith612

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Kinda like people who skip all their workouts and eat whatever they want and tell themselves over and over that they dont care and there are no real consequences to their actions and inactions as long as they are spending time on a fitness website saying good job to people and procrastinating doing anything because they are too busy on the internet looking at fun fitness quotes and the statuses of people actually working out! Cause they are primarily looking for attention in the form of everlasting support for a struggle they arent progressing with (or even giving 25% effort) and by not telling them that they are doing it wrong, we are totally validating their stubborn rejection of change.

Did I strike a nerve? Seems like the response of someone who's being defensive... considering I've lost over 60 lbs this year.

opuntia

Plus...many people trying to lose weight and get fit have deep rooted self esteem issues (I struggle with this at times as well..although it's better as I get older). Putting others down often gives poeple a "rush" of imagined superiority, and when you get very little approval in your real life because you're fat and unfit, that feeling can be like crack cocaine rush to some.

This makes sense. I notice there is a lot more one-upmanship on this site than on other sites that are not about fitness or weight loss. I have actually wondered whether it's just the way some people react to working out - that they're high on their newfound strength, and haven't yet learnt how to channel it constructively, so it comes out as aggression and competitiveness. It's interesting to observe.

LorinaLynn

Something else to consider is that a lot of times, it's the people who aren't quite as active on the forum saying that the long-time members or people who post more are being mean.

People who don't post as much don't see as much about what's going on. They don't know the history or back stories or what might have happened in a thread that just got deleted. It would be like tuning into the end of Back to the Future and wondering why that mean old George McFly just punched that poor guy Biff in the face.

yoovie

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Kinda like people who skip all their workouts and eat whatever they want and tell themselves over and over that they dont care and there are no real consequences to their actions and inactions as long as they are spending time on a fitness website saying good job to people and procrastinating doing anything because they are too busy on the internet looking at fun fitness quotes and the statuses of people actually working out! Cause they are primarily looking for attention in the form of everlasting support for a struggle they arent progressing with (or even giving 25% effort) and by not telling them that they are doing it wrong, we are totally validating their stubborn rejection of change.

Did I strike a nerve? Seems like the response of someone who's being defensive... considering I've lost over 60 lbs this year.

nah uh - just throwing a separate option out into the universe - different kinds of interactions appeal to different kinds of people - so this one was sent out to the people that havent been represented by opinions yet in this thread :drinker: congrats on sixty!

melsmith612

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Kinda like people who skip all their workouts and eat whatever they want and tell themselves over and over that they dont care and there are no real consequences to their actions and inactions as long as they are spending time on a fitness website saying good job to people and procrastinating doing anything because they are too busy on the internet looking at fun fitness quotes and the statuses of people actually working out! Cause they are primarily looking for attention in the form of everlasting support for a struggle they arent progressing with (or even giving 25% effort) and by not telling them that they are doing it wrong, we are totally validating their stubborn rejection of change.

Did I strike a nerve? Seems like the response of someone who's being defensive... considering I've lost over 60 lbs this year.

nah uh - just throwing a separate option out into the universe - different kinds of interactions appeal to different kinds of people - so this one was sent out to the people that havent been represented by opinions yet in this thread :drinker: congrats on sixty!

:drinker:

firstsip

I completely agree with original post. Who are you to judge someone? Just do your thing and move along. Peace and God bless

But God judges everyone, and I'm just trying to be more like him :[

If that were true, you would have capitalized "him".

Your powers of observation are astounding.

jesz124

I Still think searching the forum for 'mean people' is kinda weird ha ha :laugh: Please note my laughing smiley. It's meant with humour not big nasty meanness x

marisablakley

I Still think searching the forum for 'mean people' is kinda weird ha ha :laugh: Please note my laughing smiley. It's meant with humour not big nasty meanness x

Damned if I start a new thread....damned if I search for "mean posters"

And I keep wanting to tell you that I think you look great.....you have a great shape and Im jealous.That coming from a weirdo,

jesz124

I Still think searching the forum for 'mean people' is kinda weird ha ha :laugh: Please note my laughing smiley. It's meant with humour not big nasty meanness x

Damned if I start a new thread....damned if I search for "mean posters"

And I keep wanting to tell you that I think you look great.....you have a great shape and Im jealous.

I did not say you were weird! Not at all. And yes I see your point about the searching thing. I'll shut up now and do something productive like go to work. Urgh. Your kinda cool actually, I'm sure you'll fit in here very well :-))

melsmith612

I completely agree with original post. Who are you to judge someone? Just do your thing and move along. Peace and God bless

But God judges everyone, and I'm just trying to be more like him :[

If that were true, you would have capitalized "him".

Your powers of observation are astounding.

Yes, now go tell my boss I deserve a raise for using these powers to her benefit!

foxyforce

I completely agree with original post. Who are you to judge someone? Just do your thing and move along. Peace and God bless

But God judges everyone, and I'm just trying to be more like him :[

If that were true, you would have capitalized "him".

Your powers of observation are astounding.

Yes, now go tell my boss I deserve a raise for using these powers to her benefit!

i guarantee god doesn't have a gender, sorry to disappoint

lallaloolly

my theory is that people use forums, comment threads, etc. on the internet to take out their general frustrations about life on total strangers and with no repercussions.

I must admit to having a giggle here, a few weeks ago when I joined MFP ok a few months now how time flies.... I used to think the same thing, about people being mean when it was really unnecessary... but when you start to see the same thread over and over and over and over and OVER again.... you can kinda understand why people get cranky.... I am not mean enough to "verbalize" my crankiness... however I can understand why it irks people who have been around for a while :P

for example, this ^^^ i get where you're coming from, but i don't understand why people feel like they need to weigh in if the question makes them cranky. why answer the same question over and over and over and over again? why not leave it to someone who can answer it with a helpful smile.

marisablakley

I did not say you were weird! Not at all. And yes I see your point about the searching thing. I'll shut up now and do something productive like go to work. Urgh. Your kinda cool actually, I'm sure you'll fit in here very well :-))

HA! Well thank you

And I completely agree with lallalooly up there. If you dont have anything nice to say, then dont say anything at all.

ErinGBragh

Bump *evil laugh*

2BeFit4Jesus

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Kinda like people who skip all their workouts and eat whatever they want and tell themselves over and over that they dont care and there are no real consequences to their actions and inactions as long as they are spending time on a fitness website saying good job to people and procrastinating doing anything because they are too busy on the internet looking at fun fitness quotes and the statuses of people actually working out! Cause they are primarily looking for attention in the form of everlasting support for a struggle they arent progressing with (or even giving 25% effort) and by not telling them that they are doing it wrong, we are totally validating their stubborn rejection of change.

Sounds like a perfect reason to criticize people. Well done.

mfpcopine

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Kinda like people who skip all their workouts and eat whatever they want and tell themselves over and over that they dont care and there are no real consequences to their actions and inactions as long as they are spending time on a fitness website saying good job to people and procrastinating doing anything because they are too busy on the internet looking at fun fitness quotes and the statuses of people actually working out! Cause they are primarily looking for attention in the form of everlasting support for a struggle they arent progressing with (or even giving 25% effort) and by not telling them that they are doing it wrong, we are totally validating their stubborn rejection of change.

flowerforyou:

firstsip

Bump *evil laugh*

Forgiven for your awesome toile ticker.

ErinGBragh

Bump *evil laugh*

Forgiven for your awesome toile ticker.

Haha! Thanks! I'm under my quota of immaturity for the year, which usually never happens. So I just HAD to!

BurtHuttz

Hmm. This one smells like recent bumpage.

Iceman420

I don't really think people on these forums are mean at all, especially compared to most other internet forums.

Agreed. The "jerks" on this website are NOTHING compared to the video game websites I visit. I wish every website could be this civil.

Olivia

Old thread is old and we are closing as is our policy with "mean people" threads and removed today's posts. If you feel someone is being attacked or wish to report other community guideline violations, please first read this discussion and then, as appropriate, report the post.