Why are people on these forums so mean?

kmk888

I hate that this was the second thread that came up on my page. Hate, ha ha. But, seriously, this is a weight loss/fitness site, not group therapy (although even group therapy can nasty). It's the internet, and you have to grow a thick skin and learn how to weed throw the ignorant and mean comments to find what's meaningful and helpful to you.

secrets_out

Burns twice as many calories on Tuesdays.

butterflylady86

I completely agree with original post. Who are you to judge someone? Just do your thing and move along. Peace and God bless

AngelaKoder

You are right honey, That is why I don't post anything. I don't want to hear any of the mean stuff other people have to say. Some of the things people say is SO wrong too, that it makes me think just because you are mean about it doesn't mean that you know what you are talking about nor does it make you appear any smarter.
well... now I'M the one being mean haha. Anyway, I wish the world - internet or not- was a kinder place.

marisablakley

IMO they are probably are just regurgitating the hurtful things that were done to them as teens/children. I don't get upset with them, I just feel incredibly sorry for them.

i like you...and i think you may be right. i am totally not going to let myself say all the things that i really want to say because then i would be a hypocrite. but i am going to say that reading certain threads in this forum have caused me to go to bed feeling
down. But like a dog to its vomit i keep coming back for more.

THIS THREAD WAS 2 MONTHS OLD! WHY DID YOU BRING IT BACK FROM THE DEAD!!! FFS!!!

Yes, why ARE you screaming at me? I explained earlier that there is an unwritten law about starting new treads that already exist. I, for some reason that is a complete mystery to me, really want to be a part of this community and so I am discussing something that bothers me because it is my personality. And if I am to overlook all the people on here who act like a**hats then maybe me wanting to discuss how I feel could be excused as well.

firstsip

I completely agree with original post. Who are you to judge someone? Just do your thing and move along. Peace and God bless

But God judges everyone, and I'm just trying to be more like him :[

kenazfehu

I'm new and this thread is new to me.

I think the important thing to remember is that whatever somebody says - it's not personal. That person doesn't know you. They're usually responding to a general gripe they have that really has very little to do with any specific person.

Elizabeethan

This is a fitness site. Aimed at losing weight and becoming healthier. Everyone is different. Why judge people so harshly? It seems that most people are in their own bubbles. If something is said that is outside someone's bubble. BAM! Hate comments. I don't understand. We are here to support each other! Has anyone noticed this? Am I the only one that feels really sad when someone is completely disrespected in the forums, even if I don't agree with what they are saying? Please try to be more understanding.
All this talk about eating under BMR, eating back exercise calories, eating less than 1200. It's fine to argue over it, but most people jump to drastic conclusions and peoples' feelings are really hurt. Everyone is different, so everyone has their own weight loss journey. It doesn't make them a stupid or bad person. And, stop hating on people with EDs. They don't have one on purpose! Whether that have Anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder, or ED-NOS, it's not your place to tell them things that they already tell themselves everyday and that they already hear from other people!
Sorry for the rant. I'm not sure if many people will read this. Please tell me I'm not alone in thinking that some people should have more respect towards others. Thanks!

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Well said, Mel.

VelociMama

I completely agree with original post. Who are you to judge someone? Just do your thing and move along. Peace and God bless

But God judges everyone, and I'm just trying to be more like him :[

LOL!!

deksgrl

people get cranky when theyre hungry

haha you said it.

i've only been on this site a week but i see lots of folks treating it like facebook or twitter or something, posting mean comments making fun of others and frankly, posting some weird stuff like gangsta song lyrics and really intimate sexual innuendos

i mean. i'm not trying to judge but that's why facebook is facebook and this is a fitness forum. it's a place to count calories and discuss wellness and weight loss and connect to others who are sharing the same struggle.

Nobody I know posts mean things or gangsta song lyrics on their Facebook. Perhaps it's just the people you know?

melsmith612

I completely agree with original post. Who are you to judge someone? Just do your thing and move along. Peace and God bless

But God judges everyone, and I'm just trying to be more like him :[

If that were true, you would have capitalized "him".

katg73

I think because you don't have to "filter" your thoughts because it's the net, not real life, and you won't face the same consequences. I'll bet in real life many of the "mean" ones here are actually lovely people..they just have knee jerk reactions to some questions/comments and type before they think.

Plus...many people trying to lose weight and get fit have deep rooted self esteem issues (I struggle with this at times as well..although it's better as I get older). Putting others down often gives poeple a "rush" of imagined superiority, and when you get very little approval in your real life because you're fat and unfit, that feeling can be like crack cocaine rush to some.

WELL SAID.

contingencyplan

In the case of people with Eating Disorders - There is nothing this site can do for them other than give them a way of making things worse by enabling them with a calorie tracker. The sooner they realize that the road to recovery won't begin until they either a) seek professional help or b) hit rock bottom somehow, the better. Until then they had better stay off here because it will only make things worse for them. As for the ones who have no desire to recover or "aren't ready for recovery," they are not welcome here. This site promotes health and fitness. If your goals do not lie in health and fitness, get lost. You are not welcome. And we're not afraid to make it known that these people are not welcome here with how they promote unhealthy lifestyles.

Regarding the actual topic of your question, try answering the same question over. And over. And over. And over. And over. All from people who have no clue what the difference between a dumbbell and a barbell is but think they're ready to tackle a home DVD fitness program that is clearly marked as being FOR ADVANCED USERS ONLY just because they started some fad diet a while ago and although they saw results the weight came right back.

The fact of the matter is that pretty much anyone after spending 3 or so months on the forums and seeing the exact same questions posted over and over and over again all by people with unrealistic goals and unrealistic timeframes who are willing to do anything and everything EXCEPT for bust their butt in the gym to get there will get fed up with it.

If you're here to get fit and healthy and you're willing to work for it and conduct research into things, great. I'll help you however I can. But if you are going to make excuses for yourself, or try to tackle something that is CLEARLY beyond your level making you liable to injure yourself severely, or are just going to dive into another fad program, I'm not going to be the one to support you. I'm going to be the one guy in the thread who, instead of going "YAY!" calls you out on it and points out the problems with your little plan. And if you think I'm being mean because I'm trying to make sure you get on track towards a REALISTIC goal within a REALISTIC timeframe by adopting healthy lifestyle choices and making sure you're following an exercise regimen that is above all, SAFE, and won't wreck your knees or back, then fine! I'm mean. Deal with it. It happens after a while of the same things over. And over. And over. And over.

yoovie

Because we're all eating like 1200 calories, starving, trying to compare ourselves to other thinner people on this site and it makes us all a tad bit stabby.

here let me help you with this post

Because we're all eating like 2000 calories, working out, always comparing ourselves to the people we used to be and it makes us all a tad bit happy.

there we go! :drinker: much better :happy:

yoovie

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Kinda like people who skip all their workouts and eat whatever they want and tell themselves over and over that they dont care and there are no real consequences to their actions and inactions as long as they are spending time on a fitness website saying good job to people and procrastinating doing anything because they are too busy on the internet looking at fun fitness quotes and the statuses of people actually working out! Cause they are primarily looking for attention in the form of everlasting support for a struggle they arent progressing with (or even giving 25% effort) and by not telling them that they are doing it wrong, we are totally validating their stubborn rejection of change.

marisablakley

[/quote]
They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.
[/quote]

I think this is spot on.

melsmith612

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Kinda like people who skip all their workouts and eat whatever they want and tell themselves over and over that they dont care and there are no real consequences to their actions and inactions as long as they are spending time on a fitness website saying good job to people and procrastinating doing anything because they are too busy on the internet looking at fun fitness quotes and the statuses of people actually working out! Cause they are primarily looking for attention in the form of everlasting support for a struggle they arent progressing with (or even giving 25% effort) and by not telling them that they are doing it wrong, we are totally validating their stubborn rejection of change.

Did I strike a nerve? Seems like the response of someone who's being defensive... considering I've lost over 60 lbs this year.

opuntia

Plus...many people trying to lose weight and get fit have deep rooted self esteem issues (I struggle with this at times as well..although it's better as I get older). Putting others down often gives poeple a "rush" of imagined superiority, and when you get very little approval in your real life because you're fat and unfit, that feeling can be like crack cocaine rush to some.

This makes sense. I notice there is a lot more one-upmanship on this site than on other sites that are not about fitness or weight loss. I have actually wondered whether it's just the way some people react to working out - that they're high on their newfound strength, and haven't yet learnt how to channel it constructively, so it comes out as aggression and competitiveness. It's interesting to observe.

LorinaLynn

Something else to consider is that a lot of times, it's the people who aren't quite as active on the forum saying that the long-time members or people who post more are being mean.

People who don't post as much don't see as much about what's going on. They don't know the history or back stories or what might have happened in a thread that just got deleted. It would be like tuning into the end of Back to the Future and wondering why that mean old George McFly just punched that poor guy Biff in the face.

yoovie

They're called keyboard cowards - people that let their true colors show only when there's no risk of them having to actually face the consequences of their actions/opinions/thoughts. I mostly ignore them because they're primarily looking for attention in the form of controversy and by giving them any attention at all you're validating their cowardly ways.

Kinda like people who skip all their workouts and eat whatever they want and tell themselves over and over that they dont care and there are no real consequences to their actions and inactions as long as they are spending time on a fitness website saying good job to people and procrastinating doing anything because they are too busy on the internet looking at fun fitness quotes and the statuses of people actually working out! Cause they are primarily looking for attention in the form of everlasting support for a struggle they arent progressing with (or even giving 25% effort) and by not telling them that they are doing it wrong, we are totally validating their stubborn rejection of change.

Did I strike a nerve? Seems like the response of someone who's being defensive... considering I've lost over 60 lbs this year.

nah uh - just throwing a separate option out into the universe - different kinds of interactions appeal to different kinds of people - so this one was sent out to the people that havent been represented by opinions yet in this thread :drinker: congrats on sixty!