Who hates being single?

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  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
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    Yeah, I'd like to meet someone, but when I do, it's going to be a massive adjustment on my part.
    I hear that. I've been raising my son by myself for 7+ years and I haven't been in a relationship for more than 5 years, so I can't imagine being in a relationship again. We'd have some SERIOUS adjusting to do. We're so used to just being ourselves, dancing around, singing, lying around in our pajamas, just doing whatever. It would be weird to have to filter that out. Plus, I hate the idea of getting a sitter every weekend in order to date and make the guy feel like he gets enough of my attention. I don't want to ditch my kid and have him feel like he's losing me for some selfish reason.

    And let's just be honest, it's been so long since I've had sex, I'm kind of afraid to do it again. I'd feel so self-conscious, and this being the longest dry spell I've ever had, I imagine it would hurt like hell. It sure did with my shorter dry spells. And those were a LOT shorter. :laugh:
  • rm830
    rm830 Posts: 531 Member
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    There are no pro's. As you get older, all your friends are with someone, and you're the only jerk. Going out with groups of couples just isn't fun.

    But you're not a jerk...you're awesome!!!
  • kittybear86
    kittybear86 Posts: 341 Member
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    I like the fact that I can have my own bed and sleep in it.But I do want to have a boyfriend one day and it would be nice to share my life with someone.But right now,I am ok with being single at the moment.
  • DetroitDarin
    DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
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    .But right now,I am ok with being single at the moment.

    Darlin' that's the key. Contentment with your circumstance while always okay with making things better. Good for you, honey.
  • Huskeryogi
    Huskeryogi Posts: 578 Member
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    For the longest time I hated being single, Until I took a trip by my onesies to Costa Rica (surf camp!) Then I LOVED being single. I'd go out for dinner and get whatever I want. I can do whatever I want without checking in with someone to let them know I'd be home late, etc. It's a wonderful time to be selfish.

    But now I am in a brand spanking new relationship. A long distance once, so I still get that wonderful single feeling of being on my own schedule. It's so sweet, I tell ya.

    I joke sometimes that I want a guy who travels during the week and is only around on weekends. I enjoy my quiet time in the evenings.
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    Yeah, I'd like to meet someone, but when I do, it's going to be a massive adjustment on my part.
    I hear that. I've been raising my son by myself for 7+ years and I haven't been in a relationship for more than 5 years, so I can't imagine being in a relationship again. We'd have some SERIOUS adjusting to do. We're so used to just being ourselves, dancing around, singing, lying around in our pajamas, just doing whatever. It would be weird to have to filter that out. Plus, I hate the idea of getting a sitter every weekend in order to date and make the guy feel like he gets enough of my attention. I don't want to ditch my kid and have him feel like he's losing me for some selfish reason.

    I'm with you 100% on this. I'm a single mom, my ex-husband left me for another woman when I was pregnant. I had one relationship after my son was born and I felt crowded and like he was infringing on my time with my son. I have a feeling it's going to be very difficult for me to adjust enough to let someone in on that, especially if he has kids of his own.
  • bubbie520334
    bubbie520334 Posts: 14
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    I can't prove it...but I suspect some folks are making excuses for "the Suck."

    Course, i'm biased. A LOT. I'm terrible single. I'm wired to connect with a woman. Just. Feels. Better.

    I'd really really love to have a lover to battle for the covers. I'd really enjoy reminding her to put the toilet seat back up when she's done. I'd cherrish her morning breath because it means she's there in bed, nuzzled into me. Okay, I wouldn't really cherrish the breath...but I'd understanding having to even SMELL the dragon-breath means she's there...very close to me. I'd be giddy over arguing about bills because in the middle of the argument, when we're most stirred up, there'd be a chance we'd stop talking and start making out. I can't wait for the day a lover causes me to change plans, just because I want to hang out with her more than anything. The thought of calling in sick to work, because she will not let me out of bed? Fantasy of mine.

    :)


    Ummmm....you're precious :) Can every man have this philosophy please? :heart:

    NO NO NO not every woman wants this.

    ^^^ AbsoLUTELY true. I spent 16 years with one of the women who really really dislikes my style of love. Me and my style of love, and love-sharing are not for every woman. I like knowing people are different. I'll simply find a woman who really digs me as-is. NOBODY should have to change the fundamental core-essence of their love style.


    I completely agree. You should be able to be exactly who you are in a relationship.....I just haven't found that relationship yet haha. I refuse to settle.

    Settling is the kiss of death in a relationship.

    Settling sucks.... It's like stopping at a fast food joint, its oh so good at the moment but BAMMMM! You've blown your progress - ok so maybe it's not like stopping once at a fast food joint but you hopefully can see my point! :drinker:

    Every person loves and receives love differently..... There's an awesome book about it called "The Five Love Languages....". I know how I like to give love isn't the same way I like to receive it. Actually - I love love so I'll take it in any way but I prefer some ways more than others. I want to pamper my lover. I want him to know that he is the only man on my mind and that he rocks my world - everyday! Notes in his lunch, support when he needs it, a naughty text in the middle of the day, his favorite dinner, I'd be his biggest fan. When that special person comes in my life I want him to know that I have been waiting for him and how lucky he is.

    Love is the best, most beautiful feeling in the world. Love for a pet, love for a human, family member, neighbor, enemy, boss - you get my drift!! All of our problems can be solved with a little love :)

    Oops - I went on a tangent.....
    Sorry :smooched:
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    The best thing is not having the roller coaster of emotions that I had when I was with my ex. Being able to see the positive things in life and spending my money the way I see fit. Oh yeah, finally being happy with who I am and making 'me' time finally!!

    Not to say that I am not looking, but I am in a MUCH better place right now. :wink:

    This. Well said. Still very fresh and upset from the breakup, but I know I dodged a boulder sized bullet. He's an emotional sadist and, for whatever reason, I dealt with it for way too long.

    The amount of "me" time available now is staggering. In the first few weeks after D-Day, I hired a trainer, started a GMAT class and applied to business schools. It's amazing how much time I wasn't spending on myself when I was with him and I will NEVER make the same mistake again.

    Next time, I'm going for what I want. A cuddly, emotionally available and professional supportive person who is nice to me and gives me hugs ;-)
  • poll09
    poll09 Posts: 549
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    i hate it sometimes and love it others x
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    I hate being single. And it didn't used to be that way. I just got out of my first serious relationship. Before him, I was content and happy being alone. Now I know what it's like having that special person in your life, and I really miss it! I do realize that I need to learn to be content on my own before I jump into another relationship.

    But on to the positives...

    The best part is that I'm single during a big time of transition in my life. I'm finishing up college and applying to grad schools. Since I'm not in a serious relationship, I'm free to go anywhere, pursue anything. I don't have to make compromises.
  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
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    [/quote]

    I joke sometimes that I want a guy who travels during the week and is only around on weekends. I enjoy my quiet time in the evenings.
    [/quote]

    Haha I do this too :)
  • 21Pontoon
    21Pontoon Posts: 46
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    Going to the gym and eating what I like without a commentator x
  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
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    I hate being single. And it didn't used to be that way. I just got out of my first serious relationship. Before him, I was content and happy being alone. Now I know what it's like having that special person in your life, and I really miss it! I do realize that I need to learn to be content on my own before I jump into another relationship.

    But on to the positives...

    The best part is that I'm single during a big time of transition in my life. I'm finishing up college and applying to grad schools. Since I'm not in a serious relationship, I'm free to go anywhere, pursue anything. I don't have to make compromises.

    Enjoy it! Make everyday an adventure. Good for you :smile:
  • Kellybeth16
    Kellybeth16 Posts: 57
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    I hate to say this, but I hate hate hate being single. I've been in an "it's complicated" type of relationship for awhile now, and I am not happy with it at all. But, at the same time, I'm much happier with him than nobody.
    I'm not sure I can say anything good about being single, maybe I could have 10 years ago, but definitely not now. I would love to have to tell somebody again where I was going after work, or call and ask if I can buy something, or have to miss one of my favorite tv shows because he wanted to watch something else, or someone to lay next to me every night in bed. I have been head over heels in love before and although it didn't work out, I wouldn't trade one minute of it. It was the absolute best thing in the world to have that feeling and I would love for someday to find that again.

    I know I sound crazy, but that's my two cents. :) HAPPY MONDAY EVERYBODY!
  • Myxalplyx
    Myxalplyx Posts: 129 Member
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    Still thinking on this one!
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
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    I'm with you 100% on this. I'm a single mom, my ex-husband left me for another woman when I was pregnant.
    Knee-jerk reaction: what a ****! On second thought reaction: you're probably better off without him. After all the crap my ex put me through (and yeah, he was a ****) I realized that neither my son nor I need that kind of BS going on in our lives. I'd rather struggle through on my own than have to have his drama, or worse, still be supporting his lazy, selfish habits while he does zippo to help out. Now I get to have my son all to myself and I don't have to worry about what he's exposing my boy to.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    I forgot one thing I miss about having an SO in the house...cooking and cleaning. That was defintely a big plus. Last night, I ahd to clean my kitchen. I hate cleaning. Then, I started looking around and thinking that it's been like a year since I did any deep cleaning. Ugh! Hate that. Women keep things nice, and pretty, and fresh. I miss that part. My toilet bowl is like a science experiment. LOL.
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
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    Women keep things nice, and pretty, and fresh. I miss that part. My toilet bowl is like a science experiment. LOL.
    Not all women! :ohwell:
  • likemeinvisible
    likemeinvisible Posts: 309
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    It changes during the day.

    I hate being single.
    I hate being, because I'm single.
    I hate that I hate being and I hate that I am hating.

    Just the thought that one day I won't be single is what keeps me going.

    I'm an optimist.
    I love being an optimist.
    I love being because I'm an optimist.
    I love that I love being and I love that I am loving.
  • I_wanna_live
    I_wanna_live Posts: 227 Member
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    There are no pro's. As you get older, all your friends are with someone, and you're the only jerk. Going out with groups of couples just isn't fun.

    THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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