Broken up with Again...

SelenityJ
SelenityJ Posts: 168 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I'd started dating this great guy. Before I thought I'd never be in the same league as him in order to go out with such a good lucking guy that was also smart and funny and willing for adventure. We met through a dating site and I was upfront when he asked me about my weight. I told him I was overweight but had already lost a good chunk of weight (I think i was around 23 lbs lost at the time). Well, he and I did meet up and went out on two different dates and since then my weight loss has grown and I'm now sitting at a36 lbs lost, almost 37.

Both of our dates involved exercise, be it swimming, biking, walking, or running. All were things I did with him but now he sent me an email saying that because I wasn't fit things had to end but to get in contact with him if I got down to my goal weight because other than that he says I fit his criteria but he doesn't want to be seen with someone as out of shape as I am. This hurts and was definitely a major downer for me.
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Replies

  • McBully4
    McBully4 Posts: 1,270 Member
    he did you a favor, if he is that shallow just think of how terrible things would be in the long run.
  • McLifterPants
    McLifterPants Posts: 457 Member
    What an *kitten* hat. DO NOT get back in touch with him when you get to goal. It's one thing to not be attracted to someone larger (everyone has their tastes, whatever) but to say you don't want to be seen in public with someone? WHAT A DOUCHE. Pardon my French. Move on, lady. Do this for you, and screw that guy. Not literally.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    What a *kitten*. You're better off without.
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    Sounds to me like you dodged a bullet.
  • Jxnsmma
    Jxnsmma Posts: 919 Member
    So I'd started dating this great guy. Before I thought I'd never be in the same league as him in order to go out with such a good lucking guy that was also smart and funny and willing for adventure. We met through a dating site and I was upfront when he asked me about my weight. I told him I was overweight but had already lost a good chunk of weight (I think i was around 23 lbs lost at the time). Well, he and I did meet up and went out on two different dates and since then my weight loss has grown and I'm now sitting at a36 lbs lost, almost 37.

    Both of our dates involved exercise, be it swimming, biking, walking, or running. All were things I did with him but now he sent me an email saying that because I wasn't fit things had to end but to get in contact with him if I got down to my goal weight because other than that he says I fit his criteria but he doesn't want to be seen with someone as out of shape as I am. This hurts and was definitely a major downer for me.

    OMG! He just did you the biggest favor... What a ****... You can do WAY better...
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
    Holy crap, he SAID that? :noway: :explode: :grumble:

    Girl, you dodged a bullet then.

    Please understand that none of what he said has anything to do with you. It really doesn't. He is so incredibly insecure that he is looking for an accessory, not a relationship and certainly not a partner. And I can tell you from personal experience (unfortunately) that no matter what you weigh, wear, do with your hair, etc.--that sort of man will always find fault with your appearance and do his best to drag you down to his own personal level of hell.

    No wonder he is single. :sick:
  • Davidgettinghealthy
    Davidgettinghealthy Posts: 76
    Wow. What a moron. You definitely deserve better than that. Tell him to contact you if he ever decides to grow up.
  • FitBunnyEm
    FitBunnyEm Posts: 320
    Oh my god, seriously. What a k.n.o.b
  • GretchenReine
    GretchenReine Posts: 1,374 Member
    :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: He said WHAT??? Call him when you're fit??? Yeah...I see that happening! OMG what a...........

    To say you are better off is an extreme understatement!!!

    I am still fuming over this one!!! :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode:
  • tinad120
    tinad120 Posts: 267 Member
    Reminds me of the quote- "If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best."

    You're better off girl. Don't let this derail you from any of you goals.
  • D3vAnge1
    D3vAnge1 Posts: 104 Member
    from the other responses, I'll probably get a serious tongue lashing but:

    truth often hurts....one thing u can say for him is that he's honest with u and himself about what he wants and expects from someone who wants to be with him. can't knock him for that...i call that quality in the making of a truly good man. u have expectations of what u desire in a man/mate, y can't he w/o being bashed for a normal human tendency?

    u a grown woman...u've three choices: get healthy n contact him n c where this "thing" goes....or get healthy n press on, finding someone new who may or may not be honest n true to either himself or u of his expectations n desires.....or rock it solo, where the only one's expectations u have to meet r ur own.
  • Kari089
    Kari089 Posts: 109 Member
    Sounds to me like you dodged a bullet.

    This^^^

    Not worth your trouble really. And what a jerk!
  • OBXbound4me
    OBXbound4me Posts: 245 Member
    Wow, some guys really are tactless idiots. I am sorry to hear that happened and especially that way. You are certainly better off without someone so shallow and lacking common manners. Here's hoping you get someone worthy of you the next time around. :)
  • Marmitegeoff
    Marmitegeoff Posts: 373 Member
    So I'd started dating this great guy. Before I thought I'd never be in the same league as him in order to go out with such a good lucking guy that was also smart and funny and willing for adventure. We met through a dating site and I was upfront when he asked me about my weight. I told him I was overweight but had already lost a good chunk of weight (I think i was around 23 lbs lost at the time). Well, he and I did meet up and went out on two different dates and since then my weight loss has grown and I'm now sitting at a36 lbs lost, almost 37.

    Both of our dates involved exercise, be it swimming, biking, walking, or running. All were things I did with him but now he sent me an email saying that because I wasn't fit things had to end but to get in contact with him if I got down to my goal weight because other than that he says I fit his criteria but he doesn't want to be seen with someone as out of shape as I am. This hurts and was definitely a major downer for me.

    OMG! He just did you the biggest favor... What a ****... You can do WAY better...

    That was a big favor that he did you. Move on you can certainly do better than him.
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
    Oh my god, seriously. What a k.n.o.b

    what a f&(*( loser!!

    to echo what others have said, he totally did you a favour the shallow b*stard!
  • LCgymnast
    LCgymnast Posts: 258
    That guy just should how we was the biggest coward ever. If someone can't tell you how they feel looking into your eyes, then that's not the person you want to get to know or be with. A few months relationship ended the same way for me through some text messages and I thought wow.... "How could this person be afraid to tell me something to my face." COWARD ALERT. You want someone that will compliment you on how amazing you are in trying to change your life for the better, not someone that couldn't voice what they wanted in your presence. I know that hurt...the curse of being female, but I'll add you for motivation to keep moving towards your own personal goals. You can do it!!!
  • txdahl
    txdahl Posts: 107 Member
    What a loser!!!! I never get to the date part, usually after talking and really hitting it off they ask for a full body pic (all mine are only head shots) then I get the rude comments like that. You deserve the very best and this one ain't it!
  • nananie2
    nananie2 Posts: 272 Member
    Reminds me of the quote- "If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best."

    You're better off girl. Don't let this derail you from any of you goals.

    LOVE THIS!

    And DO get in contact with him once you're at your goal, just to rub it in his face!!

    (Seriously, don't. This guy is a total waste of time.)
  • yorkiemom0820
    yorkiemom0820 Posts: 71 Member
    HE'S A JERK!!!!!! YOU DON'T NEED SOMEONE LIKE THAT! YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO WILL LIKE YOU FOR YOU! THERE ARE PLENTY OF GUYS OUT THERE AND YOU WILL FIND ONE! KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOALS!!!!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • VanessaGS
    VanessaGS Posts: 514 Member
    Here's an idea. Keep going at your goal weight and go beyond. Start dressing sexy...then walk past him and if he gives you attention...IGNORE HIM!!! Some guys prefer fit which is fine, but there are nicer ways of coming out and saying it.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    I wouldn't respond to him at all, or even acknowledge receiving his email. What kind of wimp breaks up by email anyway? Seriously, delete it, delete his address and phone number, delete HIM and move on with improving your health, minus a disease like him.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    Reminds me of the quote- "If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best."

    You're better off girl. Don't let this derail you from any of you goals.

    I second that!
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
    truth often hurts....one thing u can say for him is that he's honest with u and himself about what he wants and expects from someone who wants to be with him. can't knock him for that...i call that quality in the making of a truly good man.

    OP: Don't date him^^ either.
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
    Sounds to me like you dodged a bullet.
    THIS!!!!!!
  • nananie2
    nananie2 Posts: 272 Member
    truth often hurts....one thing u can say for him is that he's honest with u and himself about what he wants and expects from someone who wants to be with him. can't knock him for that...i call that quality in the making of a truly good man.

    OP: Don't date him^^ either.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • craigpix2000
    craigpix2000 Posts: 84
    What a prick sighn his email upto a load of gay porn sites your better off with out him mate
  • wade78
    wade78 Posts: 141 Member
    He's a *kitten*. Tell him to contact you again when he's got a personality. And then tell him to f**k off
  • xoMeaghan
    xoMeaghan Posts: 175
    Reminds me of the quote- "If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best."

    You're better off girl. Don't let this derail you from any of you goals.

    LOVE IT - You are definitely better off! You want a guy who accepts you for who you ARE not who they want you to be !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :heart: :heart: :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    truth often hurts....one thing u can say for him is that he's honest with u and himself about what he wants and expects from someone who wants to be with him. can't knock him for that...i call that quality in the making of a truly good man.

    You consider a man who can't hold a mature face-to-face conversation a quality specimen and a truly good man?
  • courtniemarie
    courtniemarie Posts: 172 Member
    Holy crap, he SAID that? :noway: :explode: :grumble:

    Girl, you dodged a bullet then.

    Please understand that none of what he said has anything to do with you. It really doesn't. He is so incredibly insecure that he is looking for an accessory, not a relationship and certainly not a partner. And I can tell you from personal experience (unfortunately) that no matter what you weigh, wear, do with your hair, etc.--that sort of man will always find fault with your appearance and do his best to drag you down to his own personal level of hell.

    No wonder he is single. :sick:

    I agree with the above. Don't let yourself get worked up about him, just brush your shoulders off.

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