Blaming TOM (please stop)

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  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
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    I'm just as guilty as giving in to cravings, but you should NOT blame your period for your nutritional indiscretions. YOU made the choice to eat whatever you ate, and you make yourself (and all women) sound weak when you blame your body for a choice your mind made. I'm so sick of seeing people make excuses every other day for why they chose to forgo exercise or eat six large pizzas.

    Example: "TOM had me eating cinnamon buns, UGHHH guess I'll start over tomorrow."

    NO. Your period didn't make you do a d*mn thing, except spend $4 on a box of tampons. Stop making women seem pathetic and incapable of rational thought.

    Did you TOM make you post that?!

    (ducks behind keyboard and shivers a little)

    I'm just glad that was posted by a female and not a guy. Otherwise, the internet would've just melted.. =]



    Ooooh, you're brave :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
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    I'm afraid I disagree too. I think everyone suffers differently, some people are lucky enough to have it easy and some people have a pretty hard time of it. Some months are better for me than others but some months if I don't eat enough I will physically shake. I do get sugar craving but try to pick something low cal and fit it into my allowance.
  • chroniclesofthinoholic
    chroniclesofthinoholic Posts: 143 Member
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    TOM has me not wanting to eat...because of the horrible 2 day cramps and vomiting followed by a 2 day stomach irritation <I'm perfectly healthy...have already checked with many doctors...the cramps runs in the family>....


    so yes it does influence my workout and eating more than 4$ of tampons...just saying...
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I've never taken a woman saying something like "TOM had me eating cinnamon buns" as anything more than rueful or frustrated. Most women who give into TOM cravings wish they hadn't and regret the weight gain they expect. It has never once crossed my mind that she is pathetic or incapable of rational thought. I'd be more likely to consider someone who couldn't grasp the nuances of that statement to be more incapable of rational thought.

    I know some women who describe their TOM cravings as almost outside of them--they are almost on autopilot when giving into cravings. The part of them that tells them to care or stick to their plans just leaves the building. It's very hard to resist something like that, when people aren't even conscious of the problem, even though it happens to them every month. It's hard to prepare for that. Even so, I've never heard them blame TOM without some responsibility for themselves. Why shouldn't a woman get a little gripe in about a miserable time of the month that changes the way she feels emotionally, physically, and mentally? Too bad if someone finds that weak and pathetic. Until they have to deal with that woman's period, their opinions are pretty moot on how weak or pathetic she is.
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
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    ^^well said! I realised I went into a fog. Tired...shield is down. It's a shame that this post is about running MFP friends down instead of giving helpful hints n tips on handling TOM.
  • mama4loca
    mama4loca Posts: 181
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    I can't eat much when I have it. I am so bloated and full and the cramps- I barely eat. I DO crave saltines for some reason the week before...I usually give in!
  • MizzTweezy
    MizzTweezy Posts: 250 Member
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    Who's TOM?

    35kig2.jpg

    LMFAO!!! hahahha
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    I'm just as guilty as giving in to cravings, but you should NOT blame your period for your nutritional indiscretions. YOU made the choice to eat whatever you ate, and you make yourself (and all women) sound weak when you blame your body for a choice your mind made. I'm so sick of seeing people make excuses every other day for why they chose to forgo exercise or eat six large pizzas.

    Example: "TOM had me eating cinnamon buns, UGHHH guess I'll start over tomorrow."

    NO. Your period didn't make you do a d*mn thing, except spend $4 on a box of tampons. Stop making women seem pathetic and incapable of rational thought.

    :flowerforyou:
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    ^^well said! I realised I went into a fog. Tired...shield is down. It's a shame that this post is about running MFP friends down instead of giving helpful hints n tips on handling TOM.

    Telling women not to blame their behavior on a predictable circumstance within their control that also reinforces a negative stereotype about women is a really helpful tip in my book.
  • wrinju
    wrinju Posts: 93 Member
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    NO. Your period didn't make you do a d*mn thing, except spend $4 on a box of tampons. Stop making women seem pathetic and incapable of rational thought.

    LOVE!!
  • lectriceye
    lectriceye Posts: 24 Member
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    No I don't blame the TOM but honestly sometimes that cinnamon roll, or brownie or whatever is the only thing from keeping me from punching someone in the face. I don't have to eat the whole thing but when you have really bad hormone fluctuations or a real imbalance that is sometimes enough to say that yeah I ate that because of this. I'm ok with that, but I agree that going off the deep end isn't always excusable. So yes for me my TOM did make me buy the box of tampons and it threw in the chocolate that I don't normally like outside of the TOM, and I felt better for it!
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
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    Telling women not to blame their behavior on a predictable circumstance within their control that also reinforces a negative stereotype about women is a really helpful tip in my book.

    A random women taking it upon herself to tell all women how they should behave is actually reinforcing another negative stereotype about women!
  • T8trbug
    T8trbug Posts: 5 Member
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    This is a support group? All I hear is people blasting someone for giving in to a craving - how about some positive input?

    I have been there and I can tell you it's hard to resisit when your hormones are all over the place. But.... you might check into your vitamins. I researched it when I was going through that and I had a vitamin defiency in magnesium. I found vitamins that upped the amount I was getting with my regular vitamins and my cravings during that time of month (TOM) faded away. And I didn't get any fancy designer vitamins, I just read all the labels until I found what I was looking for.


    P.S. I find it insulting that a man put his 2 cents in when it obvious he has no idea what it's like!
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
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    I don't blame TOM for making me eat (although I do crave chocolate and salty things more than usual) but I do blame it for my weight jumping up 3 pounds every month. Stupid hormones. It usually comes back down afterward easily but other times it takes the rest of the month for me to get to pre-period weight. >.<
  • Serafimangel
    Serafimangel Posts: 174 Member
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    i do sometimes cave to TOM, I don't eat more, just a bit less healthy, like a chocolate bar within my calorie limit for the day or something. But TOM visits rarely, sometimes every 4 weeks, or 6 or 8 or 10 weeks at a time. So it sometimes is only 4 or 5 times a year. I think if TOM came on a regular basis, i would have more control, but my hormones go absolutely haywire, to the point I only know that TOM is coming is when I flip out the day before and have a crying fit over something absolutely stupid, like 'the printer only printed this on on side instead of both sides'. I am usually so laid back it totally freaks out anyone who witnessess my TOM induced meltdown.
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
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    I definitely agree!!! As out of control as we feel during TOM we should definitely take more control and ownership of our choices. It is during TOM that I like to pre-log what I eat or work in my "cravings" into my calories.

    The only things I blame TOM for are the 3-5 lbs of bloat that I gain and the cramps that prevent me for exercising for 2 days (medical issue). I just try to make those my rest days!!!
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
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    ^^well said! I realised I went into a fog. Tired...shield is down. It's a shame that this post is about running MFP friends down instead of giving helpful hints n tips on handling TOM.

    Telling women not to blame their behavior on a predictable circumstance within their control that also reinforces a negative stereotype about women is a really helpful tip in my book.

    You missed my previous entry to that...It is controllable...but for some women, including me...it takes a while to realize the strategies to do so. I am in control then but it took me a while to figure out how to do this. It would be far more productive to post a forum asking people to share their strategies on how to cope rather than running down women (who I assume are on OP friends list) who are simply venting their frustration with that week anyway. Everything can go out of whack - and if you are just beginning with weight loss, you panic. The further along you go, the better you get at realizing the week is conquerable especially if your friends are showing the way to cope. We share that week with each other. Some suffer less than others. But who better to sympathize with another woman going through same or similar? It's not a negative stereotype...It's a damn medical/biological fact for a lot of women.
  • peachea
    peachea Posts: 92 Member
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    Certainly didn't mean to create such a mess, but I resent those who say that "as a female" I shouldn't be saying such things. How about AS A FEMALE, I think we should more often propound our incredible strength (we bleed monthly? and live to tell about it? how cool is that!) rather than admit defeat every time our hormones flip out and our bodies rebel against us.
    How about we each respond to that Time of the Month as we see fit?

    THIS.

    I posted a topic similar to this. For me, the thing is this, I crave food during TTOTM. And I eat. I crave carbs mostly. I eat them. I dont feel bad because my body is calling for it. I'm not 'taking a break' from anything because I'm not dieting. Im living a normal life which includes eating, and exercising. Ive never gained enormous amounts of weight from my TOTM. I gave my body what it called for. And every one of us is different. I never feel guilty for eating because I don't associate food with guilt. I eat when its time to eat. Nothing more or less. I don't call it an excuse because I'm not so restricted that I can't function. Food is fuel. During our TOM, our basal body temp rises, uterine contractions occur due to muscle tension which causes calorie deficits. Hard to gauge how much, but it does. It makes perfect sense to eat. You can eat pop tarts and ice cream or grapes and broccoli, but I feel it's best to listen to your body and figure out what it needs on it's own. When I was pregnant with my first two kids, I craved steak and sauerkraut. Weird? Yes, but satisfying as hell after consumption. Listen to your bodies and follow it. Make your food choices according to your own needs. Feed your body. It likes it.:smooched:
  • smokinjackd
    smokinjackd Posts: 341
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    Reading this post, about to go to page two when it hits me, what the hell am I doing reading this post, abort, abort, run away now.
  • victorious27
    victorious27 Posts: 250 Member
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    Reading this post, about to go to page two when it hits me, what the hell am I doing reading this post, abort, abort, run away now.

    You killed me. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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