The Science Behind "Nice" People

GorillaEsq

Gorilla, I'm going to beat YOU with a stick.

Again?

(She's my pimp)

Yes, AGAIN, if you can't learn to behave and stop shaking your ant farm. You're just upsetting the poor lesser-minded creatures! Now go sit in the corner and think about what you did.

Yes'm.

GorillaEsq

The level off butt hurt in this thread is amazing for something that makes complete sense.

I noticed that too. And mass butt-hurtedness was not my intent. Entertaining as it is sometimes.

bulbadoof

Well, yeah. Every creature is intrinsically selfish. It's not a cynical point of view and it's not a sad thing to think about, because there's nothing wrong with it.

I think the reason people have a hard time accepting this is because self-interest is presented as a bad thing, and being selfish makes you a bad person. It implies that you only care about yourself, and this is simply not true. It's not like being openly self-interested means you aren't interested in others' well-being as well. Sometimes all you get out of giving is a good feeling and the other person's gratitude, but you're still getting something. How many people here would do the same favor for a rude stranger who would complain about what was being given to them as they would for someone close to them who accepted it gratefully? Since I see a lot of the people who are arguing that niceness is selfless lobbing personal attacks at the people arguing that niceness is vested in self-interest, I'd say not many.

The golden rule, "treat others the way you would like to be treated" is an example of reciprocal altruism, and it was taught to me and every child I grew up with - there is absolutely nothing wrong with treating other people well in order to ensure you receive good treatment in kind.

Oh, and while I'm making this point on MFP...
99% of us are here on a self-improvement site for selfish reasons.
We want to fit into tiny jeans. We want to feel better. We want to live longer. We want to live more fully. We want to network connections for a fitness career. We want to look good naked. We want to maintain what we've worked hard for. We want support with our lifestyle change. We want, we want, we want. And this isn't a bad thing. Identifying a want and then watching yourself fulfill it is probably one of the most satisfying parts of the human experience.

Everyone is, at the very least, a tiny bit selfish. Everyone has things they want for themselves and everyone gets something out of everything they do, even if it is just a good feeling or the mental reassurance that their patron deity approves. It's not something to feel guilty about or try to drown out. It's okay. It's natural. It's normal.

GorillaEsq

And you didn't disclose that you're mean and scary - you said that's how other people describe you. Could be true. See, cuz I don't automatically distrust what people say!

Darth Gorilla says, "Your transition to the Dark Side is nearly compleeeete."

Nah, I'm quite enjoying the concept of random people approaching you and asking why you're big, mean and scary. I refuse to be disillusioned of that entertaining image!

I have lived many years with people thinking the following of me as though it's all one word: fatstupidandlazy. People sometimes judge based upon a single physical trait or constellation of them. Now that's grist for another possible thread here.

Edit: missing part of a phrase

I honestly do not see where ANY of those descriptors fit you, at all.

Silverkittycat

lesser minded? I think not. I choose to ignore you......
actually, I'm making believe I'm Freakwater for the moment and singing.... my world is good.

There's nothing so pure as the kindness of an atheist
A simple act of unselfishness that never has to be repaid
And there's nothing so sure as a razor blade above your wrist
When you think you just can't stand it
You're gonna leave you empty handed
Do you still dream of being saved

theartichoke

Gorilla, when you were little did you poke ant beds with a stick just to watch the ants run around in a frenzy?

You're really good at this and you've stayed with it the entire time. I find this fascinating.

GorillaEsq

Well, yeah. Every creature is intrinsically selfish. It's not a cynical point of view and it's not a sad thing to think about, because there's nothing wrong with it.

I think the reason people have a hard time accepting this is because self-interest is presented as a bad thing, and being selfish makes you a bad person. It implies that you only care about yourself, and this is simply not true. It's not like being openly self-interested means you aren't interested in others' well-being as well. Sometimes all you get out of giving is a good feeling and the other person's gratitude, but you're still getting something. How many people here would do the same favor for a rude stranger who would complain about what was being given to them as they would for someone close to them who accepted it gratefully? Since I see a lot of the people who are arguing that niceness is selfless lobbing personal attacks at the people arguing that niceness is vested in self-interest, I'd say not many.

The golden rule, "treat others the way you would like to be treated" is an example of reciprocal altruism, and it was taught to me and every child I grew up with - there is absolutely nothing wrong with treating other people well in order to ensure you receive good treatment in kind.

Oh, and while I'm making this point on MFP...
99% of us are here on a self-improvement site for selfish reasons.
We want to fit into tiny jeans. We want to feel better. We want to live longer. We want to live more fully. We want to network connections for a fitness career. We want to look good naked. We want to maintain what we've worked hard for. We want support with our lifestyle change. We want, we want, we want. And this isn't a bad thing. Identifying a want and then watching yourself fulfill it is probably one of the most satisfying parts of the human experience.

Everyone is, at the very least, a tiny bit selfish. Everyone has things they want for themselves and everyone gets something out of everything they do, even if it is just a good feeling or the mental reassurance that their patron deity approves. It's not something to feel guilty about or try to drown out. It's okay. It's natural. It's normal.

Yeah... Several posts on here are analogous to, "You're saying I'm not really nice? How dare you say that! You say I'm nice, or I'll kill you!"

NormalSaneFLGuy

The OED defines it as:

'Computing slang. To post a deliberately erroneous or antagonistic message on a newsgroup or similar forum with the intention of eliciting a hostile or corrective response.'

I doubt that a post of 'I hate grandmas and puppies' would get much response. It's a bit too obvious!

By that definition, every court docket, summons and subpoena in the country is technically "trolling."

erroneous - mistaken, wrong, incorrect
antagonistic - hostile

You're stating that every docket, summons, and subpoena is incorrect or hostile? That's just stupid.
Hell a subpoena just requests someone to appear. How can that even be defined as erroneous or hostile? At best you could claim it as unnecessary unless you're claim is that 100% of subpoenas have the incorrect information for the person that is being summoned; however that would mean no one would ever get it. So then you must mean that 100% of subpoenas are hostile. No, they are a technical procedure. In some circumstances it could be perceived as hostile, but some is not all.

When I get called for jury duty, that's incorrect and hostile?

Do you even listen to what you say?

Read it again.
Then go Google the word "antagonistic."
Then read your post again.
Then go Google the word "ironic."

But I'll tell you what, to prove a point. I'll summons you to court, and subpoena your family members.

We'll talk about how happy everyone is to be there.

My post above was a joke, dear.

I looked up the Webster's definition for accuracy before posting.
I take your comments at face value and don't assume that some stupid statements are ironic, when you proudly claim that your other stupid statements are your opinions. I would hate to pick and choose the statements you make that best represent you.

You're welcome to try and summons me and my family to court, but the first thing you would need is a case, a court hearing, and a reason to subpoena me. The majority of subpoenas aren't hostile. Like i said, there are some that are sent out by crappy attorneys as an act of harassment , but a few bad attorneys don't define the legal system. Just a thought to consider, you're not the only J.D. on MFP. I can only imagine which law school you went to.

SuperstarDJ

BUT... funny truism... kids and dogs LOVE me. No joke. Grownups ... terrified. Toddlers and dogs... I can't peel them off of me.

My little boy is EXACTLY the same! At my local gym he runs straight over to the big, scary looking, body-builders, holds out his arms and flutters his big eyes at them, while I'm shaking in my Nikes and apologising like a mad woman to them

GorillaEsq

Gorilla, when you were little did you poke ant beds with a stick just to watch the ants run around in a frenzy?

You're really good at this and you've stayed with it the entire time. I find this fascinating.

Ha..

Hey... did you guys know that fat weighs more than muscle when you're a vegetarian suffering from the Starvation Effect?

I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING.

whierd

The level off butt hurt in this thread is amazing for something that makes complete sense.

I noticed that too. And mass butt-hurtedness was not my intent. Entertaining as it is sometimes.

I think it boils down to people wanting to remain blissfully ignorant. It conflicts with their world view and/or religious beliefs therefore must be incorrect.

Interestingly, I've thought this for awhile now and is the first time I've heard of George Price. :-)

GorillaEsq

I looked up the Webster's definition for accuracy before posting.
I take your comments at face value and don't assume that some stupid statements are ironic, when you proudly claim that your other stupid statements are your opinions. I would hate to pick and choose the statements you make that best represent you.

You're welcome to try and summons me and my family to court, but the first thing you would need is a case, a court hearing, and a reason to subpoena me. The majority of subpoenas aren't hostile. Like i said, there are some that are sent out by crappy attorneys as an act of harassment , but a few bad attorneys don't define the legal system. Just a thought to consider, you're not the only J.D. on MFP. I can only imagine which law school you went to.

This is Blue Globe guy, once again telling me that he's disgusted by my posts, and that he's ignoring me. Again. In about 5 minutes, he'll remind me that he's disgusted, and still ignoring me.

You can almost set your watch by it.

GorillaEsq

The level off butt hurt in this thread is amazing for something that makes complete sense.

I noticed that too. And mass butt-hurtedness was not my intent. Entertaining as it is sometimes.

I think it boils down to people wanting to remain blissfully ignorant. It conflicts with their world view and/or religious beliefs therefore must be incorrect.

Interestingly, I've thought this for awhile now and is the first time I've heard of George Price. :-)

Actually, it's just a formula that explains evolutionary traits. You can use the same formula to explain eyes, ears, fingernails, having two legs, etc.

emtjmac

Pseudoscientific bull****.

Silverkittycat

Just amused, that men still need to portray themselves as gorillas and throw some crap credentials out there to feel accepted, loved, listened to....
yeah, I'm mean now...not mean actually, just judging you as not worthy of my time.. I gain nothing from you. Have fun! Kiss!

bulbadoof

Yeah... Several posts on here are analogous to, "You're saying I'm not really nice? How dare you say that! You say I'm nice, or I'll kill you!"

Well, you know, you get absolutely nothing out of protecting your self-image, so they're doing a really good job of proving their point!

MonkeyBars

Price developed his theory whilst consumed by religious mania.
He gave away his money, possessions and home to paupers
& placed his fate in God’s hands.
Reduced to poverty, he finally committed suicide in a squatters’ tenement.
He'd become infatuated with a woman who wouldn't love him back.

Interesting guy!

Good post to get peeps talking......

Williamj

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the
candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

- Buddha

MonkeyBars

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

Sheirai

Yeah... Several posts on here are analogous to, "You're saying I'm not really nice? How dare you say that! You say I'm nice, or I'll kill you!"

Well, you know, you get absolutely nothing out of protecting your self-image, so they're doing a really good job of proving their point!

Well, it does seem to be an issue to equate defensiveness and/or unpleasantness with homicidal intent. He does indeed live in a scary world.