Confessions

joannathechef

I used to claim I did not understand why I was fat ' Idon't eat any more than anyone else"

but I would sneak donuts on my way home from the super market and hid the bag in the outside trash, I would eat a whole tub of cake icing, I would take condesed milk and freeze it and eat it like ice cream. I would eat a whole loaf of french bread with butter and cheese....

I am trying so hard - I still have not stopped drinking ..... that has to be next

DivineRED1

Seriously Goldfish crackers should put serving size: 1 on the label.

ncprasad

I used to eat an entire 14" pizza with cheese stuffed crust for dinner all by myself. 2 years of this type of eating was enough to pack on an extra 50 lbs which I am still trying to lose.

:embarassed:

homerjspartan

When I went to Michigan State, Wednesday night was $0.99 Whopper night. I used to get 4..... and I wonder why I had the biggest tits on my floor.... which was coed.

Wabbit05

Seriously, I'm a never ending pit. I could eat and eat and eat...

My worse was a medium pizza all to myself. I would stop myself at 5 or 6 pieces but I could eat the whole thing.

I could finish ANY dessert by myself, no matter HOW many calories. If my hubby and I ordered dessert to "share" it usually meant he would have a few bites and I would polish off the rest.

Breads are the worst. I could eat a whole loaf of french bread in one sitting.

If I let myself, I could probably still do it. But the guilt and the weight aren't worth it.

miriamwithcats

I never got in to the drinking or fast food that much, but I am guilty of just about ALL of the above behaviors. At my very worst before escaping my abusive marriage, I would buy one or TWO DOZEN donuts at the bakery on the way home and eat them all! I also often eat a half gallon of ice cream in one day, and on occasion it has been creeping up to two.

I purged from age 12 (my pic) to age 24 when the media started talking about how dangerous it was. I had kids, and couldn't die and leave them with their abusive dad- we had to get out. So I quit purging, but never have been able to quit binging.

I have a sister who is anorexic.

I am defintely ordering that book about Food: The Good Girl's Drug. I am like an alcoholic with food. Even going to different stores to buy ice cream so no one notices how much I buy!

This thread has been really helpful for me to see that I am not alone and that I CAN change these behaviors.

TheKiddo

I confess that I used to have dangerously disordered eating habits. I struggled with anorexia all throughout high school. When I became pregnant with my daughter, I forced myself to eat for my baby. My metabolism was so out of whack from years of starvation that I packed on an incredible amount of weight eating what would be considered a fairly normal diet. I kept a food log during my pregnancy. I used to log my food obsessively. I always ate between 1800 and 2000 calories a day and I still gained about 65 pounds because my body was so used to running on about 500 calories a day.

I confess that after I had my daughter, my anorexia morphed into binge-eating because I was so depressed at how much weight I had gained that I said 'screw it!' and stopped caring. I confess that I used to buy whole boxes of snack cakes and whole big bags of chips and sit in the computer room when my husband was at work and the baby was napping and just gorge myself and eat every last crumb of it and hide the wrappers because I was so ashamed of what I had done. I felt like such a disgusting pig.

I confess that I used to sneak out of the kitchen in the middle of the night and eat entire half gallon containers of ice cream in one sitting, and hide the empty container at the bottom of the garbage, and then when my husband went looking for ice cream, I would act just as puzzled as he was when there was none left and no sign of the carton anywhere...

I confess that I used to make homemade frosting just to sit around and eat it all with a spoon...

When we started trying to conceive a second baby, I tried losing some weight because I was worried that my weight was affecting my fertility and I became pregnant after losing a few pounds...very early into the program...so I stopped trying to lose weight and tried to just...maintain as well as possible. I ended up only gaining 20 pounds with my second pregnancy and after I had my son, I weighed 2 pounds lighter than I had weighed when I conceived.

That was a huge boost for me...I felt like losing weight in a healthy way with sustainable changes was achievable, for the first time in a long time.

And now I confess that the way I used to eat, while I sometimes miss it, and I sometimes consider backsliding, it makes me feel sick to my stomach! I know I am on the right path and I can't wait to reach my goal of a healthier ME!

I think it is therapeutic to share our food demons with each other, and we can offer each other good support here...I felt a lot less ALONE after reading some of these confessions.

ebony__

I wish I could say that All my confessions are things I've put behind me but they're not, they've just changed form.
I confess that since joining mfp if I don't reach my own expectations of myself for the day, I feel so guilty,
And in an extremely excessive way because it's even if my day wasn't too bad and I'm still under calories and just didn't get any exercise in. I feel miserable . Like I'm cheating myself and I'm never going to get anywhere if I don't push harder than I have been altogether and I'm so scared I won't make it and my body will just stay like this

oliv2065

I have no self control... If there is junk food anywhere around me I will eat it.
There have been days when all I do is literally sleep and eat.
Cheese is my greatest weakness! I love it. I can easily get all my daily calories out of just eatin cheese. Disgusting I know!
I use to stop by McDonalds get a large order of fries and a Mc Flurry and then throw all the evidence away before I got home.

I have been doing much better here lately, but even this past month while at the training academy I made a B on my first test and eat 2 depression doughnuts and didn't even care who saw me.

I have lost 70lbs, 12 on here, but damn it I have a long way to go and I am going to get there

Tammi623

I ate an entire bag of Frito Honey BBQ Twists Chips by myself in the passed 3 days.

I have a pint of vanilla ice cream sitting in my freezer bought after a long day and night of research and studying in the library.

I have had more cookies, cake, Mtn Dew Code Red, and Brisk Fruit Punch in the last 4 days than I've had in the passed 5 months (also bought after studying and researching for hours)

*This is why I need to avoid the on campus convenience store*

I have eaten 2 meals at dinner in the Cafeteria on campus (its not the best tasting or most nutritious and its all you can eat)

I snack all the time (especially when I'm bored)

I have started to eat well beyond no longer being hungry, I eat till I'm full or stuffed on bad days

:ohwell: Wow I hadn't realized how much control I let go of ("lost" seems to imply that I hold less responsibility for my actions and this was all definitely my responsibility to keep up with). Maybe I'll put this list up in my dorm so that I know what to look out for and to stop doing.

Thanks for posting this Joselo :flowerforyou:
~Tammi

elijhasmomma

i have the worst sweet tooth evvverrr!! i gained between 60-70lbs with my pregnancy. i was 260 when i gave birth march 4 2011, i was 277 when i started mfp on july 27th, 2012. im now 255 september 12, 2012. when the TOM comes around for me, i have an insatiable need for sugar and salt. i crave it beyond belief..and meat. i looooove taking a tortilla and a slice of muenster cheese with 2-3 slices of sandwich pepperoni and putting it in the mic for 30secs, fold it in half and its like eating a pepperoni pizza no sauce...ridiculously addicting.

i get embarrassed about my habits even though it is only my son & i living in our home full time. his dad works oil and is gone 95% of the time so im only accountable to me since i know when he will be around i can try to "quickly drop the lbs".

chocolate is my frenemy!!

sometimes i want to cry when i think about what i have done to myself, what i still do from time to time. mainly my issue now is sweets. my self control and will power waivers from time to time and i just have to have it.

ive started slacking on working out as i have just been so exhausted carring for an 18mnth old by myself, studying full time in school, and then trying to fit in enough exercise to meet my goals of burning at least 550cals a day. ive been mad at my scale, my dial said i was down to 244...33lbs in 45 days. i said no way it haas to be wrong. i took it back, bought a digital..got home and it said 255.6--how disappointed was i?!!

rockingallovertheworld

I used to eat 3000 calories in snacks every day. Family sizes of chocolate Bombay mix and sweets.
Bread and butter,slicing the butter straight from the fridge so it was in thick slices.
Whole jars of peanut butter.
Any sweets or biscuits that I could get my hands on.
Pints of custard.
Massive amounts of cheese,cream cheese straight from the tub.
I have been doing MFP seriously for 3 weeks now and feel so much better and my clothes are getting loose,it's going to be hard because I have lost the weight before and put it all back on again but this time I am not going to.
:bigsmile:

cblevitron

If I take xanax, I will eat or drink something terrible. No if, ands or buts.

lh12xx

I have been known to get a large Wicked Zinger Tower meal from KFC drive through then go to McDonalds drive through and get a cheeseburger and a McFlurry when I was hungover...more than once :blushing: I convinced myself it was ok because it would fix my hangover...

THIS.
Although, different meals, still the same idea.

sparklelioness

I used to eat four egg mcmuffins, a hash brown, and an oj for breakfast everyday, followed by 'dessert' of a pint of Ben and Jerrys Mint Oreo Cookie. To me thats not even the worst part tho... The worst part was that i was AFRAID not to... It was my drug. I looked forward to it. I'd go out of my way, if i had errands or appointments, to make sure i'd still be able to go there and get my fix. I spent at least 60 bucks a week on McD's breakfast.

What in the actual eff was i thinking? I dont know. I was just... Using food as a drug, exactly as if it was my fix. I stopped in May of this year, started eating healthy, and i feel so much better. I still have a big breakfast (cos i dont eat lunch), but its less food and MUCH less calories and fat than it used to be. I never want to be that person again, getting antsy cos its 10 am and McDonalds stops serving breakfast in a half an hour.

PS- it wasnt McDonalds fault. 1egg muffin meal a couple times a week even wouldve been fine. No one forced me to eat four sandwhiches a day.

askcupid117

Confessions. Oh how I wish they obsolved feeling so guilty.
I am afraid to loose the weight because I have never been able to keep it off. There I have said it, out loud, sort of. And the shame I feel after gaining it all back and seeing people I havent seen since I was thin is just too much. Because they look at you with those "what happened to you??" eyes. Knowing that you gained it all back.
I have no problem eating healthy and excercising and loosing weight in the beginning, its the after attaining goal that I have trouble with it. Because it really is a lifestyle change. You cant just go back to eating everything you love all of the time or it all comes back. Its almost fun to loose weight; all the attention you get from people telling you how great you look, all of your clothes fitting perfectly - even loosely; buying new outfits and showing off your new body. It makes all of that hard work completely worth it. But then what? Nothing. Nothing happens after that. You have to continue to eat healthy and excercise and work just as hard to keep it off. But you dont have the added benefit of losing anymore weight because you are at goal. Sure I tone up slightly more but so slightly that no one notices, most of all me. When I stop seeing positive changes in my body I start to get discouraged. Its hard to do all of the hard work just to keep something that you already worked hard to get. It most areas of life you set a goal, you work hard to achieve it, and then you are done. You move on to something else. There is nothing where you keep working your *kitten* off to keep what you already have. It doesnt even make sense. Its depressing.
But alas if I dont then I just gain it all back and I have to start from square one. And losing weight in my early 20s was sooo much easier than it is now. So I really need to get a handle on finding a happy balance that I can achieve and then keep without feeling so deprived and without feeling like I am working so hard without getting anything in return.

spells1977

Confessions. Oh how I wish they obsolved feeling so guilty.
I am afraid to loose the weight because I have never been able to keep it off. There I have said it, out loud, sort of. And the shame I feel after gaining it all back and seeing people I havent seen since I was thin is just too much. Because they look at you with those "what happened to you??" eyes. Knowing that you gained it all back.
I have no problem eating healthy and excercising and loosing weight in the beginning, its the after attaining goal that I have trouble with it. Because it really is a lifestyle change. You cant just go back to eating everything you love all of the time or it all comes back. Its almost fun to loose weight; all the attention you get from people telling you how great you look, all of your clothes fitting perfectly - even loosely; buying new outfits and showing off your new body. It makes all of that hard work completely worth it. But then what? Nothing. Nothing happens after that. You have to continue to eat healthy and excercise and work just as hard to keep it off. But you dont have the added benefit of losing anymore weight because you are at goal. Sure I tone up slightly more but so slightly that no one notices, most of all me. When I stop seeing positive changes in my body I start to get discouraged. Its hard to do all of the hard work just to keep something that you already worked hard to get. It most areas of life you set a goal, you work hard to achieve it, and then you are done. You move on to something else. There is nothing where you keep working your *kitten* off to keep what you already have. It doesnt even make sense. Its depressing.
But alas if I dont then I just gain it all back and I have to start from square one. And losing weight in my early 20s was sooo much easier than it is now. So I really need to get a handle on finding a happy balance that I can achieve and then keep without feeling so deprived and without feeling like I am working so hard without getting anything in return.

OMG! That.

yoovie

I wish I could exercise myself to death, sometimes.

Lesa_Sass

My problem was alcohol.

I would keep a large bottle of vodka in the pantry and put more in the empty bottle on the counter so my husband would not know I drank the whole thing,

I used to hide a 12 pack of beer and refill the beer frig so he would not go to get one the next day and find it is empty because I drank it all the night before. I also used to hide my empties and take them to the recycling center across the street so he would not see all of them in our bin at home.

I used to make humming bird food and put it in the red wine bottle on the counter so he would not know I drank the whole bottle of it either. Talk about smart, try pouring a piping hot pot of fresh boiled water into a empty wine bottle at midnight, drunk off my *kitten*.Geesh, its a wonder I did not scald myself silly.

Now those are the ones that are not too embarrassing to share, I and I want to thank GOD that there was no such thing as camera phones and youtube when I was in my 20s, I know there are a few of you with me there.

Just thought I would add to this, I am 5 years sober today.

lovemykids58

I have eatne an ENTIRE package of vanilla oreo's with milk in one sitting. Thats right- the whole thing at once.
I have killed off a med pep pizza by myself like it was my job.
I used to eat at least 2 JBSs from wendys with a large fry and a frosty.

This makes me sick to think i did this :embarassed: :frown: