What if your daughter's boyfriend did this?

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Replies

  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member

    That's a pretty big leap.

    I actually find it hard to believe that people are actually claiming that the only time the use google is for totally practical purposes and not out of random curiosity. Because at the end of the day, that's what people are ultimately saying.

    People can certainly be curious.

    When you're dating my daughter you shouldn't be curious about how to make meth.

    You really shouldn't be so curious you decide you need to research it online.

    And you really, REALLY shouldn't be so stupid, inconsiderate and thick headed to do it on MY computer.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    Maybe he's really into Breaking Bad and wants to find out how to do it? Just plain curiosity?
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member

    That's a pretty big leap.

    I actually find it hard to believe that people are actually claiming that the only time the use google is for totally practical purposes and not out of random curiosity. Because at the end of the day, that's what people are ultimately saying.

    People can certainly be curious.

    When you're dating my daughter you shouldn't be curious about how to make meth.

    You really shouldn't be so curious you decide you need to research it online.

    And you really, REALLY shouldn't be so stupid, inconsiderate and thick headed to do it on MY computer.

    Open minds lead to open lines of communications. You want your daughter to date a brain-dead buffoon with no sense of curiosity?
  • gomisskellygo
    gomisskellygo Posts: 635 Member
    Is he watching Breaking Bad and curious on how to get such a glamorous lifestyle?

    This is what I was thinking. But I would also be very concerned.
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    People can certainly be curious.

    When you're dating my daughter you shouldn't be curious about how to make meth.

    You really shouldn't be so curious you decide you need to research it online.

    And you really, REALLY shouldn't be so stupid, inconsiderate and thick headed to do it on MY computer.

    Exactly all of this.
  • travisseger
    travisseger Posts: 271 Member
    I would discourage my daughter from dating any boy who used my computer and was too stupid to cover his tracks.

    I'd talk to them. Explain what you discovered and get an explanation. I don't want my daughter dating someone who is cooking meth, but if he looked it up out of curiosity, big deal. Lord knows the stupid stuff I would have Googled had it been around when I was a teenager. I Google random, stupid stuff all the time now as someone pushing 40. Because I'm curious and easily bored.

    I have two daughters, neither one of them old enough to date yet, but I'd like to think my wife and I are raising them in such a way that they will have the good judgement not to date guys who are involved in that kind of stuff to begin with.
  • GabyG69
    GabyG69 Posts: 213
    As a criminology major I would say the same thing.. "why is he looking at it if he isn't doing it?" but would try to gather more evidence before jumping the gun..
  • MindyG150
    MindyG150 Posts: 1,296 Member
    I have found out that he has been using my computer to find sites on information on how to make meth. Not sure if he is actually doing this but why else would he be looking up the info?

    BETTER WATCH THAT ONE. AND PUT A PASSWORD ON YOUR COMPUTER FOR THE INTERNET.
  • rudegyal_b
    rudegyal_b Posts: 593 Member
    he prob wants to be jesse, watching too much breaking bad
  • My boyfriend was a chem major and he looks at stuff like that all the time. We're not making or selling any drugs. He's probably just curious.
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
    They'd be dragging me off the bloody mess I made of him.

    This one ^^
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member

    Is he watching Breaking Bad and curious on how to get such a glamorous lifestyle?

    they don't really live a glamorous lifestyle in that show. At least not until Walt buys the car wash and some new cars. Spoiler, my bad.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    They'd no longer be dating because he is stupid. Stupid for researching it, but more stupid for doing it on my computer.

    He's stupid for research? Stupid for literally trying to know something? Lord help us all.
  • areufnkiddingme
    areufnkiddingme Posts: 99 Member
    Maybe he's really into Breaking Bad and wants to find out how to do it? Just plain curiosity?

    This. the reason I looked it up is because I wondered if the show was actually naming the chemicals used to make meth.
  • sherisse69
    sherisse69 Posts: 795 Member
    I know the basics of how to make a lot of illicit drugs...doesn't mean I've ever done it.

    this. people research dumb **** all the time. you could be frank with them and say...."so this was in my history, what is up?" and hopefully you have an honest and open relationship with them.

    This! I would start here. Asking it blunt and face to face gives you both verbal and non verbal indications.
  • Gidzmo
    Gidzmo Posts: 906 Member
    I have found out that he has been using my computer to find sites on information on how to make meth. Not sure if he is actually doing this but why else would he be looking up the info?

    Both of them would be asked WHY they need to know this information. If no satisfactory answer is given (or drugs are actually being made), computer privileges would be terminated and the boyfriend no longer welcome in the house.
  • Dont have kids but if I was in that situation, I for sure would ban my daughter from seeing him!!! Not good!!! Why else would he be looking up that info for!?!?!
  • rodrig462
    rodrig462 Posts: 10 Member
    It's always best to confront. As bad as it looks, there may be a reasonable explanation. If someone misunderstood your motivation for doing something, I think you would want a chance to set the record straight.
  • guardian419
    guardian419 Posts: 391 Member
    That's why if/when I have a daughter, every year for her birthday I'M getting a new gun. The longest part of that issue would be picking which one to use FIRST
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    WHAT boyfriend? No, I swear that was a very large, messy branch in my wood chipper.



    Oh, and that's only if I found out before my hubby, my brother, and my best friend's fiance.
  • violetta88
    violetta88 Posts: 117 Member
    Awkward.

    So many factors to this. How old is he? How old is your daughter? Do you get on well with him? Aside from this has he been a decent guy?

    You say "I found out ..." Now I'm guessing this is from your computer history or the google search drop down, which is easy to check whether you intend to or not. But be careful before mentioning anything - most teenagers and young adults get very, very angry if they think you're spying on them.

    I actually don't think confronting him is a great idea unless you know him pretty well. If he was doing it for illicit purposes, he'll get defensive and angry. If he wasn't, he'll be embarassed and want to know why you're checking up on him. I would maybe have a word with your daughter though. Just let her know you've seen it, you're concerned about it and ask her if anything's going on she's worried about. But like I said, tread carefully and don't blow up.

    Hopefully he's just a kid with too much curiousity about stupid stuff. I've just moved out of a houseshare with guys who googled all manner of random, insane and illegal crap, but they were all total sweethearts :)
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    I am going to show this thread to my daughters so they will never accuse me of over reacting again.
  • AquaFitQueen
    AquaFitQueen Posts: 218 Member
    I just love how most of you condone murder.....for googling something.

    I have googled crazy ****. I like to know about everything it makes for good conversation.

    Yes he was stupid for using the mothers computer, but that is his only crime at this point as the OP has failed to post any more info. Its like she wanted to start a sh!£storm and everyone played into it.
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
    I am going to show this thread to my daughters so they will never accuse me of over reacting again.
    Genius!:flowerforyou:
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    Oh brother, Most people would be very upset if their baby girl (no matter the age) was with a guy who is looking up how to do something deadly, addictive and illegal. I'm surprised at the people who would not be even a tad bit alarmed.

    On a serious note, I would not let a teenage boy, or a daughter's boyfriend, no matter the age, on my computer. At all. If it's for homework, send him to the public library to do this "research". If it's "educational" or a matter of "curiosity" the library should have no restrictions on that. I wouldn't know, because I tend to be law abiding, and not look up how to break the law.

    I would talk to your daughter about it though. Ask her if he's been acting strange. Or look deeper and see if she has been acting strange (for a teenage girl) and act accordingly.
  • AquaFitQueen
    AquaFitQueen Posts: 218 Member
    Oh brother, Most people would be very upset if their baby girl (no matter the age) was with a guy who is looking up how to do something deadly, addictive and illegal. I'm surprised at the people who would not be even a tad bit alarmed.

    On a serious note, I would not let a teenage boy, or a daughter's boyfriend, no matter the age, on my computer. At all. If it's for homework, send him to the public library to do this "research". If it's "educational" or a matter of "curiosity" the library should have no restrictions on that. I wouldn't know, because I tend to be law abiding, and not look up how to break the law.

    I would talk to your daughter about it though. Ask her if he's been acting strange. Or look deeper and see if she has been acting strange (for a teenage girl) and act accordingly.

    I would be alarmed....if the situation called for it. We have NO info...what if this kid is a 14 year old christian who wants to be a preacher? We have no friggin context!!!!! Now if this guy is dodgy, well then, I would have words, but again we have no context in which to make a proper assessment.

    The rest of your post (this one) makes total sense. No one uses my computer, ever. If the FBI gunna come down on my *kitten* for googling then I want to be the one googling, lol.

    But again, the OP has given us no information at all.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    Oh brother, Most people would be very upset if their baby girl (no matter the age) was with a guy who is looking up how to do something deadly, addictive and illegal. I'm surprised at the people who would not be even a tad bit alarmed.

    On a serious note, I would not let a teenage boy, or a daughter's boyfriend, no matter the age, on my computer. At all. If it's for homework, send him to the public library to do this "research". If it's "educational" or a matter of "curiosity" the library should have no restrictions on that. I wouldn't know, because I tend to be law abiding, and not look up how to break the law.

    I would talk to your daughter about it though. Ask her if he's been acting strange. Or look deeper and see if she has been acting strange (for a teenage girl) and act accordingly.

    I would be alarmed....if the situation called for it. We have NO info...what if this kid is a 14 year old christian who wants to be a preacher? We have no friggin context!!!!! Now if this guy is dodgy, well then, I would have words, but again we have no context in which to make a proper assessment.

    The rest of your post (this one) makes total sense. No one uses my computer, ever. If the FBI gunna come down on my *kitten* for googling then I want to be the one googling, lol.

    But again, the OP has given us no information at all.

    Admittedly, the wood chipper thing was a little exaggerated :blushing:. I would actually do what my second post said to do :tongue: . But it's no lie that I'd be ticked off.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Reading through a lot of these answers makes me just say DAMN I'm glad none of y'all can look at my search history, because I look up some RANDOM *kitten*. Not because I want to become an Olympic synchronized swimmer or make a bomb or purchase a Russian mail order bride (yes, I have googled all of those things), but because I'm a curious person and wanna know stuff. Even if it's stuff there is no need for me to know. Good Lord people. Now, I'm off to google how to make meth.
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member


    No problem. Overprotective parents led me to be a very rebellious young adult. I was "the good girl" until I got to college. Then I found out there was a whole different world out there that my parents shielded me from. Another friend of mine at the same church ended up pregnant at 16 and a meth addict at 18. Communication goes a long way.

    I was "good" until 17. I thought it was insane that all my friends had curfews of 12 or 1, and I had to be home at 10, ONE TIME i talked my dad into 10:30. They could cruise town with friends, I wasn't allowed to have anyone in my car. I couldn't use the phone after a certain time. I was very sheltered until I realized just WHAT went on after I had to be home, so I just stopped coming home, stopped calling and telling them where I was, things like that. I got pregnant at 17. I had no talk of sex other than the basic explanation. If they had been a little more easy going and open, I know my life would have been completely different.

    Oh, look everyone, how cute! One of those kids that blames their parents for the idiot mistakes they made on their own! Adorable! :noway: YOU will always be responsible for the actions you take in life, and blaming someone else displays a profound lack of maturity.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member


    No problem. Overprotective parents led me to be a very rebellious young adult. I was "the good girl" until I got to college. Then I found out there was a whole different world out there that my parents shielded me from. Another friend of mine at the same church ended up pregnant at 16 and a meth addict at 18. Communication goes a long way.

    I was "good" until 17. I thought it was insane that all my friends had curfews of 12 or 1, and I had to be home at 10, ONE TIME i talked my dad into 10:30. They could cruise town with friends, I wasn't allowed to have anyone in my car. I couldn't use the phone after a certain time. I was very sheltered until I realized just WHAT went on after I had to be home, so I just stopped coming home, stopped calling and telling them where I was, things like that. I got pregnant at 17. I had no talk of sex other than the basic explanation. If they had been a little more easy going and open, I know my life would have been completely different.

    Oh, look everyone, how cute! One of those kids that blames their parents for the idiot mistakes they made on their own! Adorable! :noway: YOU will always be responsible for the actions you take in life, and blaming someone else displays a profound lack of maturity.

    Actually, I use my experience to be a better parent. I don't blame my parents for any of MY choices. I love them dearly. And while I would not have made some of the mistakes I made without them placing a "bubble of protection" around me, at the same time, I recognize that it was those decisions that made me who I am today.

    I am naturally curious. It is hilarious to me that some people think that curiosity should be squashed. It doesn't surprise me to find that some of them are involved in education - the number one source of squashing the curiosity of children!

    I have my own 15 year old daughter now. She just now got her very first boyfriend. We talk about sex, and we talk about drugs. She knows about my past experiences and is hopefully smart enough not to repeat them. That is how it should be. Kids should learn from their parents. Parents should talk to their kids. JMHO