???? for the ladies in long term relationships.

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  • mycrazy8splus1
    mycrazy8splus1 Posts: 1,558 Member
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    Looks like you've discovered why this guy hasn't been taken in 44 years. Don't be the idiot who stays with him. You are on a weight loss site-lose the quickest (insert his weight here)pounds you've ever lost!


    ^^^^^^AGREE!!!!!!!!!
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
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    you should pack your bags or have him pack his bags or pack each other's bags or hire someone to pack the bags
    Lmao
  • Moretakitty
    Moretakitty Posts: 168 Member
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    No, my hubby does not. He might work late, but he comes home as soon as he can, and when he's away, we talk on skype or the phone till bedtime. We still don't like being apart.
    We've now been together 6 years.

    He would never think of hurting me or disrespecting me, nor I him, because we care and love each other.

    We've moved several times, state to state due to work and our relationship is stronger then ever.

    What you are going through isn't normal just because it's a long term relationship, a relationship can be so much more and I hope that you are able to find someone who treats you the way I am treated, you are worth it and you deserve it.
  • djsupreme6
    djsupreme6 Posts: 1,210 Member
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    Its time to get out, no doubts no thoughts no wondering maybe....its time..you've posted about this dude before and as lots said...they know where its gonna end up
  • foreverjosephina
    foreverjosephina Posts: 5
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    I'd start meeting him there after work :)
    Then you can see for yourself what's going on. I'd surprise him, in fact. That way you can see if he's with guys, girls, "a" girl, etc. And yeah, I wouldn't put up with it either. Sorry you are having to deal with this and possibly make a tough choice.
  • Josette89
    Josette89 Posts: 244
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    Same kinda thing happened with me and my bf. He continued to drink and go out. He got a DUI and now he is suffering the consequences. I, being the caring and compassionate woman I am, have stayed with him. I voiced my concerns, It took a while for him to realize where his life was headed, but thankfully he came to his senses. He quit drinking, smoking, going out to bars, as well as eating poorly. :) So now we live together, doing our diet together and supporting each other. We've gotten in fights and nearly broken up, but we moved passed that stage in our life and are stronger for it. Everybody is different though. Some people are more hard headed and stubborn. Good luck to you. I know that being with an alcoholic is one of the toughest times that someone can have. I'm sure that he is a great person, I am not giving anyone an excuse to go out and drink in such a way, but you should realize that alcoholism is a crazy form of disease that sometimes even the smartest people can't control. Support is the one main thing that a person like this needs. There is probably something more going on in his mind right now. A move is very stressful.

    ****EDIT**** I do mean everything that I said, but, I did not know that you have had many issues with this person. If this has continued long, maybe it is time to lose that "extra baggage" :) i.e. HIM.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    And this is the same guy who forgets your birthday every year?:indifferent:

    I know it is MUCH easier to say, "just leave him," but unfortunately that is the ONLY answer. The only other alternative is to waste the rest of your life with him (unless he leaves you).

    Also, if you two are sexually active, what happens if you get pregnant? Do you think he will make a good father or even be there for the child if he can't even be there for you?

    My last boyfriend ended up being a narcissist and pathological liar. While the red-flags were there from the start, I ignored them because I didn't think it was possible to end up in yet another abusive relationship. Last month I left the country and cut all communication. I stopped taking the birth control pill after getting my period and went on with life until last week when I noticed my stomach was looking bigger. I realized there was a possibility of pregnancy and spent days worrying. Today I finally couldn't take the stress anymore, and went to a store I never frequent and bought a test. I was extremely lucky in that the results were negative (NOT pregnant), but it was definitely a lesson learned -- I should have left when the abuse started.

    Anyway, I don't know if you boyfriend? husband? is abusive or not, but he still sounds like a huge *kitten* and I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he belittles/threatens/frequently ditches/physically harms you.

    Actually he sounds like a real unappreciative loser. He has a cute/sexy younger woman (judging by your pic) who puts up with all of his b.s. and probably takes care of him much more than he does her (am I right?)...yet I know people who treat their dogs better than he treats you.

    I've been in TWO abusive long-term relationships and while I unfortunately can't advise you on how to get into a good relationship, I CAN tell you how to get out of a bad one -- and that means leaving and cutting all contact.

    Good luck!!
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    Your boyfriend sounds like a very self absorbed person who thinks he can have you and whatever else he wants, too. My husband and I have been together for 22 years. Even during his heavy drinking days (he is a recovering alcoholic), he wanted to spend his time with me, not away from me. At 44 he should act more like a grown up and not like a kid who just turned 21. I think you might want to seriously reconsider your relationship with him.
  • Summerful
    Summerful Posts: 46 Member
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    Yes, it is probably just a phase. If he is anything like my boyfriend (who was 18 at the time), he just needs a wake up call and sorting out some personal problems he must be dealing with. That was the case with my boyfriend.

    If you are very serious about him being your life partner or want to really try to make things work. Make sure you remind him you are also his friend and there to listen. Make sure you are supportive and do your best to work things out peacefully.

    Best of luck to you!
  • txlissa62
    txlissa62 Posts: 128
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    No, my husband doesn't do this and not all guys do. My husband is in his 30's and too old to do that sort of thing. Your guy won't change or grow up even as much as you want him to. You shouldn't put up with his and I hope things work out for you with or without him.


    my guy is 44

    44 years old and doing this? RUN. The faster, the better. Don't waste any more time on this guy. It will not get better.
  • butterflyqueen1984
    butterflyqueen1984 Posts: 141 Member
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    I found one of my ex's drinking and driving (at the same time) I dumped him there and then! Do not agree with that, needless to say I have moved on and got a better life with a lovely guy and he is the same old drunkered idiot!
  • schaapj2
    schaapj2 Posts: 320 Member
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    Chances are he's depressed and unhappy about the situation he's in now. Guys handle it in different ways. However, like most of us know on here, when you repeat bad behaviors, they become habit. This WILL be a permanent thing-and I wouldn't stick around to watch it. You deserve better than that.
  • Michellereducf
    Michellereducf Posts: 168 Member
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    Your understanding of guys is wrong. Dump the jerk. If he hasn't yet, he will be cheating on you. Enjoy being miserable with him for years.

    EDIT: Just saw that he's 44 and doing this? There aren't enough letters in the word LOSER to describe him.
  • belladonna786
    belladonna786 Posts: 1,165 Member
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    my man knows better than to do this I let him know right in the start of our relationship what was acceptable and what wasn't then he was given the choice to continue the relationship or not. I would not stand for that kind of behaviour its pretty childish in my opinion, but you need to decide if its something you are going to tolerate if not you need to take some sort of action to let him know you are serious. Thats just what I would do.
  • Dont_Eat_Me
    Dont_Eat_Me Posts: 36 Member
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    Sounds like trouble is brewing
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
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    I have a similar issue.. only mine does it at home and takes a little bit from our savings to walk to the store... It irritates the *kitten* out of me because I wanna spend time with him.. our schedules are so messed up that I hardly see him ='( BUT you say you worry about him getting a DUI, I say you threaten to call Hwy Patrol on his *kitten*! I know that is harsh but he could hurt himself or someone else.. Drunk driving is nothing to mess around with. Maybe you should get his family involved.. have a mini intervention.. going out drinking every night can lead to addictions.. =/ I don't know him personally so I couldn't say.. but I don't think it would hurt to talk to someone in the family..

    <3 Good luck, be strong! =)
  • Ivana331
    Ivana331 Posts: 230
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    no, My husband always lets me know if he has plans and clears them with me to make sure we didn't have anything to do, or if I want him to stay home. If he went to the bar EVERY night, I would leave with the kids until he decides to get his act together. Luckily both of us drink only socially. It seems immature and childish to need to go get buzzed every night!
  • JudyPelc
    JudyPelc Posts: 1
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    seems like emotional abuse to me. If you wouldn't put up with him beating you, why would you put up with this?
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    As a red neck kind of guy, one night a week would be acceptable. Every night? No way would I do that to my wife
  • isabel88g
    isabel88g Posts: 77 Member
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    I have been with my husband for 6 years now and I could not imagine him treating me like that. I can understand maybe going to the bar on a Saturday night for a couple of beers with some friends but every night seems a bit much. You may need to tell him that he needs help or youre out of there. He should be coming home to you everynight and not some bar.

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