Got really mad at the supermarket today
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But many parents don't know any different! I was one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had NO IDEA just how awful processed food etc was until I actually started to educate myself on food and read labels. My 9 year old is overweight- and believe me, I am working on making LIFE CHANGES for all of us. I never ever in my life would have wished for ANYONE to endure what I've had to go through growing up and even as an adult with my weight! NEver ever. My daughter had no problems with weight- up until 3 or so years ago- when we had to move in with my grandparents. I was away at work- and they come from the time when "good healthy kids eat a lot".. so they would think they were doing the right thing- but letting her eat 3 cans of ravioli in a day! I am now trying to get the reigns back and help her with portion control and smart food choices. It's working- but something that will take time. Growing up in a house of 6, I am the ONLY child who grew up to be Obese. My mother always made good food choices for us.. if we were hungry the famous line was, "go eat an apple".. we had veggies at every meal- always ate good home-cooked healthy meals. But somewhere down the line after years of every imaginable sort of abuse, I turned into an emotional eater. Mostly it was because it was the ONLY way I could make my dad angry- because it was one thing he had NO CONTROL over- so I learned to eat and eat and eat.. and 30 years later- I have a HORRIBLE ADDICTION. It's no different than being addicted to alcohol or drugs or cigarettes. I suffer from OCD and Bi-Polar and when I'm having a severe depression episode- believe me- i don't give a f---- about anything- let alone the food I'm eating. It's impossible to empathize, when you've never been there.
Try not to be angry at the mother- you have no idea what she might possible be going through. I can also say from first hand experience- when you're a mother of several kids- and working and/or in school and running a household AND overweight (let alone if you're batteling depression or any other mental/physical illness) and you have to come up with 3 meals a day for a family- it's SOOO EASY to turn to Mac -and-Cheese and other crap.
Pray that the mother will become educated on healthy food and nutrition. Pray for her daughter. That's about all you can do- and in the mean time- change something you can- and let go of the fact that you couldn't have an impact on her life. Just know- that you can help impact others lives. Why not turn this into something good and start holding classes specifically targeted to mothers and their children? Like a cooking class or something?
And also- just because someone is obese DOES NOT MEAN all skinny parents with skinny kids are living healthy lives. One of my friends is a stick- and so are her children- and they eat nothing but CRAP- they eat fast food everyday. My oldest daughter (who is 9)- with the extra weight- has never drank pop. Please don't be so quick to judge people. I would have been far better off in my struggle with my eating addiction if people had been more COMPASSIONATE - instead of alienating me and making me feel like a fat piece of **** for a person... all that did was make it worse.
Also- many people who are lower income are obese- and a lot of that is from lack of education and also- processed crap is much more cheaper to buy at the store. If you've got X amount of money for the week for a family of 7 and you can make 1 nice meal or you can buy cheap boxed crap and a couple pounds of meat to feed the family for a week- what are you going to do?0 -
I know with all the information out there today one would make better choices. The mother odviously needs an education herself. You can take it a step further and get annoyed with people who are in shape and should know better and shop in a conventional supermarket buying foods that are GMO. Organic is alway's the best choice but people still have there reasons why they don't buy organic. So that mom may just need an education. You could of tried to start a friendly conversation with her and told her about this website. It could be a helpful tool for someone who needs a place to start. I'm sure that mom doesn't want to be overweight and she certainly doesn't love her child any less then someone with a thin child. It sucks that this child has to deal with weight issue's so young but it's her path to lead and hopefully her parent's get with it and do something for themselves and their child.0
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And also- just because someone is obese DOES NOT MEAN all skinny parents with skinny kids are living healthy lives.
Funny you should say this. at this time in my life I have had only 1 person I know die of a heart attack, and 1 that had a heart attack. BOTH of them were under weight.
I love MFP...........and feel joyous at meeting ppl just like yourself on here........so much so I shared it with a stranger on line........who reported me for SPAMMING her........:laugh: that was rich!
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Sp. Squash
Preheat 350 15 minutes.
Cut in 1/2
scoop out seeds.
Lay face down on a shallow baking dish filled with water. Bake 15-20 minutes.
Turn over - Squash is done when fork tender.
Great with stewed tomatoes and mixed vegetables and asiago cheese.0 -
guys, I want to make sure people realize, I'm not talking about having your kid eat super clean and nothing but healthy food, although that's great too. I'm fine with the occational box of mac n cheese when you don't have time and it's the only thing you can make in a pinch. I'm more bothered by the fact that this child was literally huge, as was the mother, and there was absolutely nothing healthy in the cart.
Now, could I be wrong, could the child and mother have some kind of hormonal issue? And could all this food be for someone else or a special occation? I guess that's in the realm of possibilities. But I rather doubt it. There are certain assumptions that can be made in life. Can we be wrong? Sure, and if I'm wrong and it's pointed out to me, I'm the first person to admit it and appologize. But we can't always be 100% sure on everything.
Back to childhood nutrition. I feel like this. Kids should be given the proper nutrition for their age, that doesn't mean they can't ever have a cookie or a piece of candy or even a soda (kids are very active, have very fast metabolisms, and can usually burn off the sugar.) but it's not good for them, and shouldn't be a habit.
But even giving them those things regularly I'm ok with (I don't necessarily agree with that, but it doesn't make me crazy), IF and this is a HUGE if, they are given proper nutrition for their meals, AND are taught that those "treats" are just that, treats, and not really good for them. I think kids are smarter than parents sometimes give them credit for, they absorb information at an incredible rate, and even when you don't think they are listening, they learn from you.0 -
I don't think there is a person on this planet that can truthfully say that they have NEVER judged somebody, somewhere for something- it's human nature!. Of course, most of us keep our thoughts/opinions to ourselves as to not be rude. I don't see anything wrong with Banks' *thoughts*- whether I agree or disagree with what those thoughts/opinions/judgments were is irrelevant. Had he turned to the woman and began to lecture her about healthy eating, why she shouldn't have those things in her cart, etc. then I would say he was absolutely wrong- and I think most of us would agree. However, having a thought about something and then sharing it, is in my mind not "wrong"- it's America. Countless men and women have and continue to give their lives so that we can live in a country where we're allowed to think and say what we'd like- within reason, and I don't think Banks crossed the line because no words ever came out of his mouth! Just my two cents...0
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I agree with this person. You accused her of borderline child abuse? What an insult to children who are beaten and bruised and verbally abused as well as any other kind of horrible abuse that happens in our society. They probably wish that their abuse was being given a pepsi. I think we should feed our children healthy food, do nOT get me wrong, I just think you were a bit harsh on this woman not knowing if this was for a special occasion or not. I also think we should help keep our children from being over weight and encourage them to play, but I still say you were too harsh.
First, I didn't accuse anyone of anything. I never said a word to that woman, nor did I look at her funny. I voiced my opinion on what is, to all intents and purposes, an anonymous forum. Second, while beating your child may be the more obvious form of child abuse, after seeing first hand what an out of control childhood can do to people, yes, I do feel that someone can abuse their child by something like neglecting their nutrition. I'm not ashamed of my opinions on this. And I've already expressed my thoughts on the fact that there is the possibility of my opinion being wrong. Too harsh? Why is it too harsh to want a child to have a chance at a normal adult life free of intense ridicule and serious emotional issues later in their life?
There's not much difference between a child growing up to be an adult with severe self esteem issues, whether their parents caused these issues by constantly calling them ugly, or by allowing the child to grow up obese and be called fat, or whale, or cow by peers. You're damn right I think that's abusive!
Wouldn't you say a parent constantly calling their kid ugly is abusive? I know I would. What's the difference? Ignorance is not a reason, I'm sorry, I just don't accept the "I didn't know" argument. Not today. Not with all the free information out there.0 -
i love going out with a friend that is much heavier than i am. i will order the fattiest, gooeyist mess and she will have a salad, dressing on the side. whenever the order comes out, they always place the huge meal in front of 'the fat girl'. gotta love that.
dawn
I have witnessed this as well, and not to insult your friend because i dont know her/him, but i lived with two morbidly obese women for 6 months recently and thought the same about their eating habits, "why are they so big, they eat like birds" but then i got up in the middle of the night one night and saw them cramming food, like ice cream and chocolate and pigs feet into their mouths...the truth is that we dont see a lot of what these overweight people are eating. I myself was in the habit of closet eating as well before i found this website....sooo i have to agree with SHBoss1673.0 -
One interesting point I haven't read on this thread....
does everyone here realize that there are cities in the United States that do not have access to actual grocery stores?
I'm not making this up.
Due to the economy, crime rates,etc there are NO grocery chains left in Detroit. The only options these people have are what is stocked at the corner store or the few raminaing mom and pop grocery mart.
Obviously this was not the case mentioned in the OP, but the reality is our country does have a vast population who are not well educated regarding nutrition, good health. For many, even if they had the knowledge, they do not have the means to drive to a farmer's market or Trader's Joe or in some cases even to a regular grocery store.
This country has a lot deeper nutritional issues than what 1 woman put in her grocery cart....although many of those factors do lead to her lack of knowledge or wise decision making.
Another interesting topic not previously discussed is the reality that our foods are processed and manipulated in order to cause cravings for MORE of the unhealthy options. No, I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but you will never consider the food industry in the same light if you read THE END of OVEREATING by David Kessler. Food companies use the exact science as the tobacco companies to create dependence on fat, salt, and sugar. In lab tests, the dopamine receptors triggered by combinations of fat, sugar and salt were only slightly less than those triggered by heroin, cocaine or opium.
So take a person who is perhaps not nutritionally educated and combine her with a stacked deck in regards to her food and you have exactly what this country is currently struggling with....60% overweight.
Just on a personal aside, I was raised on good, clean eating...veggies, fruits, chicken,etc...no pop, candy and cookies.....as soon as I could buy my own food, guess what I went for?!?! You got it! Everything forbidden!
Interesting thread and view points.
My personal feeling is there is quite a bit of judging going on: by declaring *person A* to be judgmental, am I not also becoming judgmental? Just something to think about!0 -
I was thinking about this thread a lot last night. It has intrigued me. There was a lot of talk about education and learning to eat healthy....but knowledge does not always translate into action...
How many people start smoking knowing it is bad for them? ( I did...but have been smoke-free for over 12 years)
How many people ride bikes or motorcycles without helmets?
How many people neglect to buck-up when they get in the car? etc....
I guess what I am trying to get across is how do we get our knowledge to transfer over into our actions? I do not have the answers but think it is interesting to think about it. As an educator that is always the dilemma...how to make the learning having meaning in people's lives. For someone like me, a class in nutrition is not enough (I am a hands on learner) I need a class that gets me in the kitchen and teaches how to cook healthier and then lets me do it. It would be great addition to the high school curriculum.0 -
One interesting point I haven't read on this thread....
does everyone here realize that there are cities in the United States that do not have access to actual grocery stores?
I'm not making this up.
Due to the economy, crime rates,etc there are NO grocery chains left in Detroit. The only options these people have are what is stocked at the corner store or the few raminaing mom and pop grocery mart.
Obviously this was not the case mentioned in the OP, but the reality is our country does have a vast population who are not well educated regarding nutrition, good health. For many, even if they had the knowledge, they do not have the means to drive to a farmer's market or Trader's Joe or in some cases even to a regular grocery store.
This country has a lot deeper nutritional issues than what 1 woman put in her grocery cart....although many of those factors do lead to her lack of knowledge or wise decision making.
Another interesting topic not previously discussed is the reality that our foods are processed and manipulated in order to cause cravings for MORE of the unhealthy options. No, I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but you will never consider the food industry in the same light if you read THE END of OVEREATING by David Kessler. Food companies use the exact science as the tobacco companies to create dependence on fat, salt, and sugar. In lab tests, the dopamine receptors triggered by combinations of fat, sugar and salt were only slightly less than those triggered by heroin, cocaine or opium.
So take a person who is perhaps not nutritionally educated and combine her with a stacked deck in regards to her food and you have exactly what this country is currently struggling with....60% overweight.
Just on a personal aside, I was raised on good, clean eating...veggies, fruits, chicken,etc...no pop, candy and cookies.....as soon as I could buy my own food, guess what I went for?!?! You got it! Everything forbidden!
Interesting thread and view points.
My personal feeling is there is quite a bit of judging going on: by declaring *person A* to be judgmental, am I not also becoming judgmental? Just something to think about!
You are so right on in this thread. (I am from Michigan and know all about the problems in Detroit.) I wish more Americans would wake up and realize that the governement / FDA is NOT their friend. Same with Doctors and Pharmaceutical Companies. THey want you to be dependent on their goods. The more unhealthy the population is- the more drugs they will consume. Same goes for food- Fast Food Chains are a PERFECT example of this... Same goes for Marketing in general- even in retail stores. Companies spend MILLIONS and I mean MILLIONS of dollars every year - figuring out how to market - there is so much psychology involved- things would make you sick!
I wish more people would educate themselves in general- and then they would have a much easier time dealing with the fact that all of these "systems" are F----ed, and that they DO NOT have your health and best ineterst in mind. The bottom lines are all MONEY.. and the easiest way they can get your money from you.
Companies even spend millions on children- to learn how to make them be loyal to their brands for life (Kraft..)...
There was a debate a few months ago on a forum I'm on- that's all parents with young children- specifically who watch Nick Jr. And many of the parents were complaining about a new show because they didn't see the "education" behind it. What they all failed to realize is that almost all of the shows on that channel weren't created to EDUCATE their children- they were created to push TOYS.. (Dora The Explorer- The Backyardigans just to name a few).
This isn't targeted at anyone- just hoping maybe to open some eyes and get you thinking/ researching/ educating yourselves. The problems go much larger than just "nutrition education". The best gift ANY parent can give to their children- is to teach them to THINK FOR THEMSELVES and to STAND UP FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IS RIGHT!
Hope everyone is having a blessed day! 0 -
I was thinking about this thread a lot last night. It has intrigued me. There was a lot of talk about education and learning to eat healthy....but knowledge does not always translate into action...
How many people start smoking knowing it is bad for them? ( I did...but have been smoke-free for over 12 years)
How many people ride bikes or motorcycles without helmets?
How many people neglect to buck-up when they get in the car? etc....
I guess what I am trying to get across is how do we get our knowledge to transfer over into our actions? I do not have the answers but think it is interesting to think about it. As an educator that is always the dilemma...how to make the learning having meaning in people's lives. For someone like me, a class in nutrition is not enough (I am a hands on learner) I need a class that gets me in the kitchen and teaches how to cook healthier and then lets me do it. It would be great addition to the high school curriculum.
Those are some very valid points you bring up 0 -
I agree with this person. You accused her of borderline child abuse? What an insult to children who are beaten and bruised and verbally abused as well as any other kind of horrible abuse that happens in our society. They probably wish that their abuse was being given a pepsi. I think we should feed our children healthy food, do nOT get me wrong, I just think you were a bit harsh on this woman not knowing if this was for a special occasion or not. I also think we should help keep our children from being over weight and encourage them to play, but I still say you were too harsh.
First, I didn't accuse anyone of anything. I never said a word to that woman, nor did I look at her funny. I voiced my opinion on what is, to all intents and purposes, an anonymous forum. Second, while beating your child may be the more obvious form of child abuse, after seeing first hand what an out of control childhood can do to people, yes, I do feel that someone can abuse their child by something like neglecting their nutrition. I'm not ashamed of my opinions on this. And I've already expressed my thoughts on the fact that there is the possibility of my opinion being wrong. Too harsh? Why is it too harsh to want a child to have a chance at a normal adult life free of intense ridicule and serious emotional issues later in their life?
There's not much difference between a child growing up to be an adult with severe self esteem issues, whether their parents caused these issues by constantly calling them ugly, or by allowing the child to grow up obese and be called fat, or whale, or cow by peers. You're damn right I think that's abusive!
Wouldn't you say a parent constantly calling their kid ugly is abusive? I know I would. What's the difference? Ignorance is not a reason, I'm sorry, I just don't accept the "I didn't know" argument. Not today. Not with all the free information out there.
Anyways, you called her borderline abusive on this site, based on a few items in her shopping cart because they were not healthy foods. Yet you admit yourself you have never met her. You can ramble on about how being fat can cause children to be called names at school. That would seem to be the fault of the children calling them names. They are the ones being raised by unkind parents that would make them think that is okay to treat someone badly because of their appearance.0 -
I was thinking about this thread a lot last night. It has intrigued me. There was a lot of talk about education and learning to eat healthy....but knowledge does not always translate into action...
How many people start smoking knowing it is bad for them? ( I did...but have been smoke-free for over 12 years)
How many people ride bikes or motorcycles without helmets?
How many people neglect to buck-up when they get in the car? etc....
I guess what I am trying to get across is how do we get our knowledge to transfer over into our actions? I do not have the answers but think it is interesting to think about it. As an educator that is always the dilemma...how to make the learning having meaning in people's lives. For someone like me, a class in nutrition is not enough (I am a hands on learner) I need a class that gets me in the kitchen and teaches how to cook healthier and then lets me do it. It would be great addition to the high school curriculum.
Those are some very valid points you bring up
Your so right! I am a hands on learner also its the only way anything sticks.0 -
Ok, so I started reading this post a couple of days ago. Banks....you really know how to stir the pot!
I must say this post has made me seriously rethink how selfish have been with my healthier way of eating and I want to thank you for making the point that you did. It's set a fire under my butt about alot of issues.
First and foremost, my kids are extremely active....involved in sports, drill team, dance, and just generally active kids. Our whole family is really. My fiance plays hockey and is physically fit. They all eat whatever they want and never gain a pound. Therefore, it's been so easy for me to think...ah...you guys eat what you want, because it doesn't affect you the way it affects me. I haven't given much thought to the habits I'm teaching them and falling right into the cycle of the way I was raised....thinking diets are for adults and that food can be a reward or a comfort. I don't want to put my kids on a "diet", but I cleared my fridge and pantry of all the crap and started over this morning. All thanks to your post. They don't need to count calories, but WHAT they are eating is so important!
When I was at the gym yesterday, I noticed there's a new vending machine with water, sports drinks, and ENERGY DRINKS!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Really??? Monsters, Venom, NOS....it was all there.,..these drinks that have over 200 calories! Wow! This guy was chugging a Monster while on the treadmill....I was scared he was going to go into cardiac arrest! I love NOS energy drinks but have given them up, so how irritating is it the place I go to get healthy sells these toxic beverages!!!!
I know your post has sparked alot of discussion and I just wanted to tell you I appreciate your thought process and reminding us of a social issue in need of some serious attention. We can make excuses all day long about letting our kids eat crap, while we eat clean. However, when they are adults and they use food for self medication or teach their kids unhealthy eating habits....we will surely regret it. We cannot undo what we've done, but we can certainly change our though process and our actions....let's think about what we're doing.0 -
I dispise your number 3. IMHO this is simply not an excuse in the United States. With free librarys with free internet access available. it's your responsibility as a parent to know better.
Wow, I haven't gotten a chance to read all the pages yet, but I came across this comment and wanted to add my 2 cents in where its worth. I'm not arguing with you or anything, I just wanted to point out that, where I live anyway, about 80 percent of the population is illiterate. And I'm sure it's not just where I live either. Until eating healthier becomes more word of mouth and less internet related, it's kind of unfair to say that.0 -
I work in a supermarket... trust me when I say I see this on a daily basis. What gets me really mad is when they are paying for that junk with food stamps... the government needs to regulate what can be purchased with our tax dollars... no candy, soda, chips, etc... just the basics. I am not saying the lady you saw today was paying with food stamps or that all people on food stamps purchase junk food, I was just venting:)
I agree with you on the foodstamp issue, but its not so cut and dry.
I'm a single-mom, been on and off food stamps for at least 5 of the past 10 years. I did the research to find out where to shop to get the best quality for the best deals. I'll go to Trader Joes, Kroger and Meijer if I need too. If a certain store didn't take food stamps, then I'd use cash. For many months I only got $10. Once I got $367. They can cut it off at anytime, they can decrease it at anytime.
I watch a friend of mine only shop at a local generic food store (or the dreaded Wal-Mart) because it is the cheapest, closest place to go that accepts food stamps. She buys all the cheapest stuff, nothing is fresh. If she spends it all and they run out of food for the month they do nothing.
Proper nutrional education is not offered to the poor. I have seen classes offered, but they are not made known to the public. And those classes are not truly about proper nutrition. I've taken them, they involve boxed foods, canned veggies, etc. If you were to go to a local food bank for food, thats exactly what you would get. Most people who are poor enough to need food stamps do not have a reliable internet/cable access to learn the way we have. They also are most likely more concerend with keeping the heat and lights on than if the Kraft Mac n' Cheese is a poor choice.
While I was determined enough to seek out a proper nutritional education, my friend isn't. She needs to focus on keeping her heat on this winter. With a disabled husband and a 9 y/o boy, her $157 in food stamps per month barely get them through the first half of the month. Her minimum wage job can barely pay the rent and utilities. If she were restricted on the foods she could buy, it would hurt that family more than the Speggetios ever could.
I know that healthy food can be bought on a budget, I do it every month. But I have had hard times when feeding my daughter Speggetios was the best I could do. Thankfully, I am better off now. My friend, on the other hand, shes in the midst of a crisis. I can look back and see how I could have done things differently, but in the eye of the storm, theres no time to stop and redo stuff. It frustrates me that I have the information and I could help her, but shes not in a position to believe that this is the area that needs the help. She hasn't yet processed that food is the area that she can't afford to slack on, the lights and heat, well, payment arrangements and governtment programs can help.
I think that in order to get food stamps, you should have to take a nutrition and budgeting class. Most people on food stamps have kids on medicaid and medicaid pays for you to see a dietician. That is a benefit that no child should miss out on. It would save so much money in the long run, for both the family and the tax payers.
JMO
Holly0 -
Very interesting thread. As a teacher, I took a class on povery a few years ago and it was very eye-opening. One thing I remember was about food. People in povery ask "Did you get enough to eat? People in middle class say, "Did it taste good?" The wealthy say, "Did it look good?" Since all of us here have internet access I am guessing most of us fall in middle-class. The truely wealthy are probably working with their personal chefs, etc. So we are looking at this situation through middle-class eyes. If a person is in generational poverty, they are more worried about their kids getting enough to eat. It's about quantity, not quality. I complain about money but I have never really wondered how we would feed the kids tomorrow. Many people in poverty are not thinking long-term, they are thinking how to survive today or perhaps tomorrow. I am thankful that I have the luxury to be able to meet my children's immediate needs so I can think about their future. I realize this is off-topic from the original post, but this thread is off to interesting places!0
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Very interesting thread. As a teacher, I took a class on povery a few years ago and it was very eye-opening. One thing I remember was about food. People in povery ask "Did you get enough to eat? People in middle class say, "Did it taste good?" The wealthy say, "Did it look good?" Since all of us here have internet access I am guessing most of us fall in middle-class. The truely wealthy are probably working with their personal chefs, etc. So we are looking at this situation through middle-class eyes. If a person is in generational poverty, they are more worried about their kids getting enough to eat. It's about quantity, not quality. I complain about money but I have never really wondered how we would feed the kids tomorrow. Many people in poverty are not thinking long-term, they are thinking how to survive today or perhaps tomorrow. I am thankful that I have the luxury to be able to meet my children's immediate needs so I can think about their future. I realize this is off-topic from the original post, but this thread is off to interesting places!
I am a teacher too, we are learning the same things. I agree with you 100%
I have had mixed feelings about what I have been reading.
I agree that it is very important for children to be fed in a healthy manner. I am a little puzzled by everyones judgements because we all got to this site somehow and it wasn't by eating fruits and veggies. Some people havn't had their ah-ha moment yet. Most people on here say their children are active and eat healthy... A majority of the high schoolers that I teach are not that way. If what you are all saying is true PLEASE work to keep your kids eating that way as they get into their teenage years!
That being said... It concerns me GREATLY the food that my high schoolers eat every day and I take time to try to encourage them to eat differently. I coach girls soccer and we bring a nutritionist in to talk to our players because they eat so poorly.0 -
Oh when I was in high school we had del taco EVERYDAY for lunch. I was lucky in that I had a speedy metabolism so it didn't affect me weight-wise. Chili fries and milkshakes for everyone!
My students have taco bell, mcdonalds, jack in the box, etc. every day for lunch. Being that they are young they are able to eat that way and not be affected by it. I tell them all the time to enjoy it while you can because when you hit 25 your metabolism is going to go to *kitten*! :laugh:0
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