Got really mad at the supermarket today
Replies
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Under no circumstances is arguing to the point someone is offended constructive or positive. Running someone off is not healthy neither is making assumptions. And what do you mean think outside the box? You don't me or how I think!
You can't control if someone is offended or not. No one insulted her or called her names. If you can't counter-argue against something or even question flawed logic, what is the point of having a conversation in the first place?
And no one ran her off, she chose to leave (although she posted more after that, so it remains to be seen if she is truely no longer participating in the discussion) because people had the audacity to question her. But did she not basically do the same to others when she made the post herself?0 -
well, i go to a typical party i suppose - 12+ adult and just as many kids (maybe more). my kids don't get to drink soda, but my friends' kids do. mac and cheese and canned spagetti's is super simple and easy when you are cooking for kids whose tastes you don't normally know.
i'm so glad that people like you judge how 'obese' people eat. i'm sure it makes them feel very secure and not at all demeaned.
i love going out with a friend that is much heavier than i am. i will order the fattiest, gooeyist mess and she will have a salad, dressing on the side. whenever the order comes out, they always place the huge meal in front of 'the fat girl'. gotta love that.
dawn
I was obese for much of my 30's so yeah, I judge how obese people eat, because I ATE like an obese person (an obese person that doesn't have a medical cause mind you). So what your saying is, because they might be offended, I'm not allowed to disapprove, in my own head, of what they are feeding their kids? Mind you, they CANNOT be ashamed of what I am thinking, nor did they know I had any judgement.
So in other words, you're trying to tell me how to think.
If I had said something to her, then I could see someone's anger. But you're doing the same thing you're saying I did! Except I SPARED the object of my anger from the harsh words, where as you came out and tried to demean me for it.
THIS
Go Banks0 -
I had a wake up call in the grocery line yesterday that reminded me how I have backslid in the food department.
I had my stuff on the belt, and a man behind me had the other 1/2 of the belt. I looked right at him and said OMG...that is how I shopped until last month!!!! He LOL and said the holidays can do that to us, and he was glad to be a good example.(as he sheepishly slid his icecream onto the belt :laugh:)
So now I will go with a list!!
As for the mom in line. There are a few things to consider here.
1. those are all very inexpensive foods (except the soda)
2. my daughter lived on mac and cheese, wouldnt eat anything else
3. some ppl do not know any better
I see this each time I go shopping and now with just overweight ppl. I have seen svelte moms who are still sweaty from the gym with big bags of chips, cases of soda and other garbage for the family.
I remember my mom looking me straight in the eye and saying, eat your spinach or you get nothing and you go to your room for the night. There was no question in her voice, and there was nothing to do in my room (no tv, and this was pretty much pre-video game), guess what? I might have not eaten that night, but I ate what she gave me the next morning.
I dispise your number 3. IMHO this is simply not an excuse in the United States. With free librarys with free internet access available. it's your responsibility as a parent to know better.
Steve, YOU are the one who got me to investigate what I do and eat. Before then I was not totally ignorant, but was not as educated as I am today. It has taken a lot of work to know that a salad is NOT a salad!
When I was a kid my mom was thin as were us kids. That was because there were weeks we existed on a box of mac and cheese, white bambi bread, a can of tuna and oranges from the tree next door. My mom knew what foods were good for us but had no money or means to buy it.
I have an intelligent friend who is 100 pounds overweight. We worked out one morning and she invited me for a 'good' breakfast. We had burned maybe 200 cals in a light tready wkout. She made biscuits and gravy, sausage and eggs.....the eggs FRIED IN BUTTER! I did not eat but I did write down the caloric intake for one breakfast (thanks to MFP for the info!)
She almost swallowed her tounge! She had NO idea!
I believe education is key, but we also need a means and someone to teach us.
Ah ha! See, that's what I mean. Intelligence and ignorance are not mutually exclusive. For instance, I consider myself an intelligent person (I guess), yet I'm completely ignorant of the mating habits of the South American tree frog. Then again, because I'm intelligent, I know I could find that knowledge if I needed to. Like if it affected my health to know it.
So say I have some rare disease that will kill me, and the only cure is the slime on a South American Tree Frog's back, which they only excrete during mating season. Well, since I currently know nothing about it. I'd go look it up.
I know this is a silly comparison, but it proves the point. Because I'm ignorant of it, doesn't make me unable to become knowledgeable. And as a parent, your child's health should be something you should be intimately familiar with. If you aren't IMHO it should be a parent's first priority.
As to not having the money. I don't buy that argument anymore. Maybe when we were young and there weren't food banks all over the place. But I volunteer at a food bank a couple times a year, and know for a fact that anyone who needs it, can come down and request healthy, nutritious food from them weekly. Maybe in other parts of the country this isn't true, but where I live, you're never more than 5 or 10 miles from a fully stocked food bank.
What we need to remember is that 20 or 30 years ago, when we were young, we didn't have the nutrition knowledge we do now. Parents can't hide behind the "I didn't know" statement any more. I'm sorry, but when children are involved, it's your job to know. I'm unwavering on that. I don't make excuses for parents, and I don't accept them from parents either.
hallelujah brother!0 -
Yeah, I misght not like it...but as a parent I always fall back on that it is my decision how I raise my child, no one elses business.
Besides, I've known plenty of kids who were fed nothing but healthy food as a child, and they still grew up to be obese, because they binged on the crap somewhere else.0 -
YOU DON'T KNOW ME!
Sorry, I just wanted to join in on the fun.
Back to original topic - as someone who is currently obese and has been severely obese as recently as a couple months ago, I don't really think it's wrong to look in someone's grocery cart and be angry or feel bad about what they're buying. Knowing what I know now, I just want to run up to them and shake them and scream "WHY THE F*** ARE YOU KILLING YOURSELF (AND YOUR FAMILY) LIKE THIS?!" And then help them figure it all out. I don't think an obese person who is honest with themselves would take offense to it -- they would be mortified for sure if they knew what you were thinking, but that doesn't make what you're saying any less true.
I was the 270 pound girl ordering a salad with dressing on the side (or a glass of water and nothing to eat at all) because I was embarassed about my weight. That doesn't mean I ate healthy all the time or the majority time or.. any other time. Because if I did, let's be honest here, I would have never weighed 270 pounds in the first place.0 -
Yeah, I misght not like it...but as a parent I always fall back on that it is my decision how I raise my child, no one elses business.
Although I agree with what you're saying here, I think the problem with the original scenario is probably ignorance. And I just don't think ignorance is okay. And, as Banks was saying, with all the nutrition information readily available to the public these days, being morbidly obese and raising children who are already morbidly obese at a very young age is WILLFUL ignorance. Which is willful negligence... which... well, it's just not alright.0 -
Back to original topic - as someone who is currently obese and has been severely obese as recently as a couple months ago, I don't really think it's wrong to look in someone's grocery cart and be angry or feel bad about what they're buying. Knowing what I know now, I just want to run up to them and shake them and scream "WHY THE F*** ARE YOU KILLING YOURSELF (AND YOUR FAMILY) LIKE THIS?!" And then help them figure it all out. I don't think an obese person who is honest with themselves would take offense to it -- they would be mortified for sure if they knew what you were thinking, but that doesn't make what you're saying any less true.
I was the 270 pound girl ordering a salad with dressing on the side (or a glass of water and nothing to eat at all) because I was embarassed about my weight. That doesn't mean I ate healthy all the time or the majority time or.. any other time. Because if I did, let's be honest here, I would have never weighed 270 pounds in the first place.
I could've written that myself. We all have very personal reason for how we reacted to this post. I really wish someone had shaken me and screamed "WHY THE F*** ARE YOU KILLING YOURSELF (AND YOUR FAMILY) LIKE THIS?!" Even though I might be embarrassed about what I buy or order, I just hid it. I did nothing to fix it. I didn't believe I could. Yes, it makes me mad to hear what she was buying to feed herself and her child (if that is in deed what they were being bought for) because I KNOW better now and I really believe she could too if she chose to educate herself on it.0 -
SHBoss1673 ~ how do you make spaghetti squash in 15 mins? Please tell me! I love that stuff but it takes me like an hour to bake it. I'm new here so if you could contact me directly with your reply I'd appreciate it, since I don't know if I will see your reply here. But if that's not possible, no worries!
thx
cut it in half, put about 1/2 an inch of water in the bottom of a microwave dish, and microwave it for about 8 to 12 minutes. Comes out the same as if you bake it.
Sweet, I have wanted to try this for a long time! But where can I buy a spaghetti squash? I can't find it at my local stores.0 -
SHBoss1673 ~ how do you make spaghetti squash in 15 mins? Please tell me! I love that stuff but it takes me like an hour to bake it. I'm new here so if you could contact me directly with your reply I'd appreciate it, since I don't know if I will see your reply here. But if that's not possible, no worries!
thx
cut it in half, put about 1/2 an inch of water in the bottom of a microwave dish, and microwave it for about 8 to 12 minutes. Comes out the same as if you bake it.
Sweet, I have wanted to try this for a long time! But where can I buy a spaghetti squash? I can't find it at my local stores.
I live in a not-so-cultured city and they're in most supermarkets near the eggplants & butternut squashes. They're big yellow ovals. Maybe that's because I'm in the south (US) and any type of squash is pretty popular 'round these parts.0 -
Slightly off topic but to address the ignorance issue about nutrition. Personally I think there should be a class on nutrition starting in middle school. Hell, throw a few lessons in there during science portion in elementary school! They'll teach us to care for empty egg shells and how to balance a check book, use the internet for research, all 50 states and their capitals (Which we'll forget in three months) but they wont teach us to take care of our own bodies.
But of course... nutrition isn' t on the FCAT. -_-
Actually, nutrition is covered as early as elementary school in health and science classes. I don't know about other schools, but only 1 of 5 I've worked for actually taught kids to balance a check book (when I was a student it was only taught in an elective class, you didn't HAVE to take it).
I think it is too easy to blame the lack of knowledge on schools. (pardon me while I step on my soapbox:blushing: ) Yes schools receive government funds. Yes schools receive state funds. Yes schools provide students with important knowledge. However, schools can NOT teach everything a student needs to know in order to be successful in life. We try hard, I promise we try! Even when schools were not dealing with budget cuts (has that EVER happened?) they could not teach children everything. Some things are up to the parents. With more and more requirements given to schools from on high (so that they can keep the meager $$ passed down from on high), it is harder and harder for them to get everything in and STILL make the "achievements" required to keep the $$.
I would love to be able to sit down with my students and teach them everything I believe they need to know to be productive members of society. Most of my students, even if I had time to teach it to them, would not be receptive to some of my nutritional advice. For two basic reasons 1) peer pressure, it's not cool. 2) Parent pressure, if parents don't value it, the student probably won't either.
I teach band and choir. I get to teach a little bit about nutrition because of how it affects the voice, and how it can affect performance in band. We talk about getting enough water, and how pop, juice, etc isn't the same. I talk about how eating well balanced meals give them more level energy levels so that they don't wear out half way through a marching performance. (Knowing all of that, didn't stop me from becoming overweight, though:ohwell: ) I try to teach a little math (fractions are all over music), a little reading, a little science (mostly the science of sound), a little technology, and a lot of common sense.
You are absolutely right that some teachers don't have time to teach this stuff because it's not tested. But parents need to STOP depending on schools to teach everything. Manners, common sense, work ethic, nutrition, most of that needs to happen at home. We can't do it all. It's a partnership, but parents have to pull their weight, too, if it is going to work!
*wiping brow* Sheeew. Ok, off that soapbox now. It just gets my goat when parents expect us to teach kids everything. (It wasn't a good day today in that area, sorry! )
Sorry for the lecture. Have a good day!0 -
Okay I am sorry but this has gotten ridiculous! I think we all need to go back and read the original post to remember what this thread started out talking about. There is no need for this to turn into an argument between MFP members!
conversations go stray for a reason, because everything that is being mentioned is highly relevant and sometimes the first issue isn't the issue at all.
think outside the box.
Under no circumstances is arguing to the point someone is offended constructive or positive. Running someone off is not healthy neither is making assumptions. And what do you mean think outside the box? You don't me or how I think!
And yet you're arguing with Loathesome.
Are you serious? You know what yall go ahead and be negative! I am a better person than to attack anyone. I will pray for you.
God Bless.
Wow, angry much. Go ahead and pray...fine by me, the world needs more of it.0 -
Slightly off topic but to address the ignorance issue about nutrition. Personally I think there should be a class on nutrition starting in middle school. Hell, throw a few lessons in there during science portion in elementary school! They'll teach us to care for empty egg shells and how to balance a check book, use the internet for research, all 50 states and their capitals (Which we'll forget in three months) but they wont teach us to take care of our own bodies.
But of course... nutrition isn' t on the FCAT. -_-
Actually, nutrition is covered as early as elementary school in health and science classes. I don't know about other schools, but only 1 of 5 I've worked for actually taught kids to balance a check book (when I was a student it was only taught in an elective class, you didn't HAVE to take it).
I think it is too easy to blame the lack of knowledge on schools. (pardon me while I step on my soapbox:blushing: ) Yes schools receive government funds. Yes schools receive state funds. Yes schools provide students with important knowledge. However, schools can NOT teach everything a student needs to know in order to be successful in life. We try hard, I promise we try! Even when schools were not dealing with budget cuts (has that EVER happened?) they could not teach children everything. Some things are up to the parents. With more and more requirements given to schools from on high (so that they can keep the meager $$ passed down from on high), it is harder and harder for them to get everything in and STILL make the "achievements" required to keep the $$.
I would love to be able to sit down with my students and teach them everything I believe they need to know to be productive members of society. Most of my students, even if I had time to teach it to them, would not be receptive to some of my nutritional advice. For two basic reasons 1) peer pressure, it's not cool. 2) Parent pressure, if parents don't value it, the student probably won't either.
I teach band and choir. I get to teach a little bit about nutrition because of how it affects the voice, and how it can affect performance in band. We talk about getting enough water, and how pop, juice, etc isn't the same. I talk about how eating well balanced meals give them more level energy levels so that they don't wear out half way through a marching performance. (Knowing all of that, didn't stop me from becoming overweight, though:ohwell: ) I try to teach a little math (fractions are all over music), a little reading, a little science (mostly the science of sound), a little technology, and a lot of common sense.
You are absolutely right that some teachers don't have time to teach this stuff because it's not tested. But parents need to STOP depending on schools to teach everything. Manners, common sense, work ethic, nutrition, most of that needs to happen at home. We can't do it all. It's a partnership, but parents have to pull their weight, too, if it is going to work!
*wiping brow* Sheeew. Ok, off that soapbox now. It just gets my goat when parents expect us to teach kids everything. (It wasn't a good day today in that area, sorry! )
Sorry for the lecture. Have a good day!
Yep...had health classes from Kindergarten though 9th grade. It wasn't required after my freshman year but I did take Home Ec., Heath Sciences (pre-med type stuff but high school level), and Culinary 9-12 grade (competed in state competitions based on cooking, OSHA standards, and culinary skills-and yes I had to wear the dorky hat, jacket, and clogs)...all of these classes taught the ins and outs of nutrition. I'm not like most of the people on this site because I had very little weight to lose. I've never been overweight (technically I'm under according to my BMI), I'm on here to get in shape. I do look in other peoples carts...what else are you going to do when you have to wait in line behind 4 other people because there are only 3 checkout lanes open. I try not to judge, I don't open my mouth. But, I understand where Banks is coming from...when you understand nutrition and health don't you want to share that info with others?0 -
I've come to this thread the last few days, typed in a response, then deleted it. Typed in a new response, then deleted it. Here I go again....
I have a family of 6. Me, my husband, and 4 boys, ages 16, 15, 12, and 11. All are healthy weights, the 16 year old is actually under weight slightly. If I buy spaghettios (and I only buy them when I have a coupon or if they are on sale), each kid can eat a whole can. And this is with baby carrots on the side (I try to balance the good and the bad). When they make macaroni and cheese, the four of them go through 2 boxes at a time. We have chips in our house, and the kids will eat them with their lunch on weekends, but they've been taught how to count out a serving. We don't usually buy soda, except for holidays (the big ones--not including bank and post office holidays, lol) and birthdays. Of course, every kid has a favorite soda, so when we buy it, there's 4 different kinds (mt. dew, cherry pepsi, root beer, and coke).
I guess I'd like to point out that you don't know what the circumstances were for what that lady purchased. For Christmas, I checked out of the grocery store with 4 gallons of oil (yes I said gallons), 4 12 packs of soda, a 12 pack and a 6 pack of beer, 3 bags of mozzarella sticks, a bag of doritos, a bag of cheetos, and a bag of wavy regular chips. I also had a tub of dip and a jar of salsa. I had a jar of maraschino cherries and a bottle of grenadine and a 1/2 gallon of ice cream.
I know what my cart looked like, and yes, I kinda cringed when I checked out. We were having 18 people over for Christmas dinner. Dinner was a hot oil fondue. I had been preparing for it since October, buying meats when they were on sale. I get my veggies from a different store. This was the stuff that we needed, that we don't normally have in the house (at least in those quantities). It was not a regular shopping trip.
Seems like many people are operating under the assumption that all those spaghettios and mac-n-cheese were for the one little girl. Could just be for a family of 6.... picking up a few items on the way home from the daughter's dance class....0 -
Don't know how to erase oops
God Bless0 -
Slightly off topic but to address the ignorance issue about nutrition. Personally I think there should be a class on nutrition starting in middle school. Hell, throw a few lessons in there during science portion in elementary school! They'll teach us to care for empty egg shells and how to balance a check book, use the internet for research, all 50 states and their capitals (Which we'll forget in three months) but they wont teach us to take care of our own bodies.
But of course... nutrition isn' t on the FCAT. -_-
Actually, nutrition is covered as early as elementary school in health and science classes. I don't know about other schools, but only 1 of 5 I've worked for actually taught kids to balance a check book (when I was a student it was only taught in an elective class, you didn't HAVE to take it).
I think it is too easy to blame the lack of knowledge on schools. (pardon me while I step on my soapbox:blushing: ) Yes schools receive government funds. Yes schools receive state funds. Yes schools provide students with important knowledge. However, schools can NOT teach everything a student needs to know in order to be successful in life. We try hard, I promise we try! Even when schools were not dealing with budget cuts (has that EVER happened?) they could not teach children everything. Some things are up to the parents. With more and more requirements given to schools from on high (so that they can keep the meager $$ passed down from on high), it is harder and harder for them to get everything in and STILL make the "achievements" required to keep the $$.
I would love to be able to sit down with my students and teach them everything I believe they need to know to be productive members of society. Most of my students, even if I had time to teach it to them, would not be receptive to some of my nutritional advice. For two basic reasons 1) peer pressure, it's not cool. 2) Parent pressure, if parents don't value it, the student probably won't either.
I teach band and choir. I get to teach a little bit about nutrition because of how it affects the voice, and how it can affect performance in band. We talk about getting enough water, and how pop, juice, etc isn't the same. I talk about how eating well balanced meals give them more level energy levels so that they don't wear out half way through a marching performance. (Knowing all of that, didn't stop me from becoming overweight, though:ohwell: ) I try to teach a little math (fractions are all over music), a little reading, a little science (mostly the science of sound), a little technology, and a lot of common sense.
You are absolutely right that some teachers don't have time to teach this stuff because it's not tested. But parents need to STOP depending on schools to teach everything. Manners, common sense, work ethic, nutrition, most of that needs to happen at home. We can't do it all. It's a partnership, but parents have to pull their weight, too, if it is going to work!
*wiping brow* Sheeew. Ok, off that soapbox now. It just gets my goat when parents expect us to teach kids everything. (It wasn't a good day today in that area, sorry! )
Sorry for the lecture. Have a good day!
AMEN! My boyfriend and his whole family are in education, as is most of mine. His mom is a hs/ms principal and I know just how far teachers and administrators go trying to help their students prepare for the real world - and how, at the end of the day, they don't have key influence and they only have so many hours in which to exert what influence they do have.
Consider for a moment that the average child of 7 (since the girl the op mentioned was about that) eats, including snack, 28 meals a week. (That afternoon or midmorning snack is a big deal - most schools tend to schedule more than half of their students for very early or very late lunches) At most, 15 of them are eaten in school, if a child is getting breakfast and snack there. If it's just lunch, that's only five meals a week out of 28. Average Child is in a class of 25-30, with one or two teachers/TAs, and has 1-2 siblings with one or both parents.
Do the math on that. The Average Child eats 46-82% of his or her meals at home (or at least with parents, if they eat out). During those meals, he or she can expect to recieve 30-50% of the parenting attention (not complete attention) of his or her parents. At school, for 18-54% of meals, he or she can only expect 3-4% of the teacher's instructional attention - and that's assuming that the teachers are present in the student lunchroom, rather than just one or two aides watching all the students present. The burden of nutritional teaching HAS to fall on parents because they are the ones modeling behaviors, they are the ones most present, and they are the ones most able to influence food choices. Parents like the one the OP mentioned are failing at that aspect of parenting, and it WILL catch up with her daughter, in the form of bullying, self-image problems, social stigma, health problems, and a destructive relationship with food and her own body. And I'm willing to bet that her high school will do more to help her with those problems than Mom will.0 -
pettmybunny ---> *what you said* is what i was trying to say but was just too sarcastic to get across. nicely said.
dawn0 -
Foodbanks in my part of the world do not offer healthy options. And you can only visit once every two months. You get nothing for fresh fruit/veggies, the bread is white and stale, and the only reedeeming food I have seen in the boxes is canned tuna. Usually it is stuff like spaghettios, white processed rice, white pasta, k-d, no name margerine, ichban noodles, sweets, powdered milk, etc. I work at a Women's Centre and we solicit donations of & distribute a lot of whole grain breads, low fat yogurt, canned fish, legumes, skim milk, etc because a lot of the women & children don't get it from the food bank or can't make it a whole month eating healthy options on what they have for $. Poverty sucks. As I said previously, the dieticians here put out a report each year on the cost of eating, it is available to view at:
http://www.dietitians.ca/resources/resourcesearch.asp?fn=view&contentid=1944
The 2009 report states:
The facts in BC:
• The 2009 monthly cost of the nutritious food basket for a family of four is $872
• A family of four on income assistance would need more than 100% of their income
for shelter and food only
• Food and shelter costs have increased significantly over the past decade, while income
assistance rates have remained virtually unchanged and minimum wage has not increased
• Unemployment is rising. October’s jobless rate was 8.3%, the highest it has been since
September 2003. Youth, particularly aboriginal youth, and women had the greatest increases
in unemployment
• The number of clients receiving income assistance and expected to work increased by 52% from
September 2008 to September 2009. The number of dependent children in families receiving
assistance increased by more than 20% over the same period
• Many people with low income face challenges purchasing healthy foods. In urban centres the
high cost of housing leaves little money left for food; in geographically isolated communities
there may be a limited variety of healthy foods and food is often much more expensive than in
urban centres
• Almost 90,000 people visited a food bank in BC in March 2009, the highest number on record
and a 15% increase over 2008
• A family of four on income assistance would use 49% of their income to buy the food basket.
• A family of four with one earner in a low-wage job would use 34% of their income to buy
the food basket.
• A family of four with one earner and median income1 would use 19% of their income
to buy the food basket.
Last year in my community the schools pulled out the vending machines and drink machines and instituted a program with local farmers whereby there is a giant tub of fruit outside the office. As kids go by they can grab an apple or pear or whatever at no cost. My son loved it! On some days when he had eaten his lunch early and/or was extra hungry he could grab a nutritious snack, or he could grab something to munch on the long bus ride home. I think more programs like that are needed here.0 -
I have a family of 6. Me, my husband, and 4 boys, ages 16, 15, 12, and 11. All are healthy weights, the 16 year old is actually under weight slightly.
That right there makes all the difference in the world.
Banks already said that it was what was in the cart AND the fact that both the mother and the daughter were obese that upset him. Most likely, what was in the cart is part (if not most) of the reason the two are obese. I imagine he would have thought differently if the cart had belong to a family with healthy weights.0 -
pettmybunny ---> *what you said* is what i was trying to say but was just too sarcastic to get across. nicely said.
dawn
LOL... that's why I kept erasing my posts. They didn't come across the way I meant them. I finally managed to write one that wasn't soapboxy or pissy or too rambling. I still don't think it was perfect, but it wasn't bad...I have a family of 6. Me, my husband, and 4 boys, ages 16, 15, 12, and 11. All are healthy weights, the 16 year old is actually under weight slightly.
That right there makes all the difference in the world.
Banks already said that it was what was in the cart AND the fact that both the mother and the daughter were obese that upset him. Most likely, what was in the cart is part (if not most) of the reason the two are obese. I imagine he would have thought differently if the cart had belong to a family with healthy weights.
We're not all healthy weights. Just the kids. And I think that is more due to them being involved in sports. Since I've begun my journey, we've tried to make everyone eat healthier, but it's still an uphill battle. I was just pointing out that her cart may not have been a typical shopping experience for her. On the other hand, it may have been her typical shopping experience too. Who really knows????0 -
That right there makes all the difference in the world.
Banks already said that it was what was in the cart AND the fact that both the mother and the daughter were obese that upset him. Most likely, what was in the cart is part (if not most) of the reason the two are obese. I imagine he would have thought differently if the cart had belong to a family with healthy weights.
That is correct.
thanks Crystal. Alas I have given up on this thread, I'm tired of responding to replies that take 1/2 of what I said and comment on it. It's not worth explaining myself again and again.
I'll say it one last time, the totality of the situation is what caused my concern, and that's what it was, concern for a little girl who is obviously not receiving the proper nutrition and doesn't know any better. Part of this forum is about expressing feelings that you otherwise wouldn't be able to express. Sorry if some people are offended, get over yourself. Didn't someone way back when say something like "He who is without sin..." .
So I'll say this, anyone who has never looked at another human and thought something less than nice about them, blast away at this post, otherwise, stop and think for a minute. This post was about expressing frustration at the lack of nutrition knowledge in the United States with regards to children, from one person's perspective. Nothing more, nothing less. The family beside me in line was the catalyst, the example.
-Please note, No live human was hurt by the poster during the events on which this post was based. Mentally or physically.0 -
I've come to this thread the last few days, typed in a response, then deleted it. Typed in a new response, then deleted it. Here I go again....
I have a family of 6. Me, my husband, and 4 boys, ages 16, 15, 12, and 11. All are healthy weights, the 16 year old is actually under weight slightly. If I buy spaghettios (and I only buy them when I have a coupon or if they are on sale), each kid can eat a whole can. And this is with baby carrots on the side (I try to balance the good and the bad). When they make macaroni and cheese, the four of them go through 2 boxes at a time. We have chips in our house, and the kids will eat them with their lunch on weekends, but they've been taught how to count out a serving. We don't usually buy soda, except for holidays (the big ones--not including bank and post office holidays, lol) and birthdays. Of course, every kid has a favorite soda, so when we buy it, there's 4 different kinds (mt. dew, cherry pepsi, root beer, and coke).
I guess I'd like to point out that you don't know what the circumstances were for what that lady purchased. For Christmas, I checked out of the grocery store with 4 gallons of oil (yes I said gallons), 4 12 packs of soda, a 12 pack and a 6 pack of beer, 3 bags of mozzarella sticks, a bag of doritos, a bag of cheetos, and a bag of wavy regular chips. I also had a tub of dip and a jar of salsa. I had a jar of maraschino cherries and a bottle of grenadine and a 1/2 gallon of ice cream.
I know what my cart looked like, and yes, I kinda cringed when I checked out. We were having 18 people over for Christmas dinner. Dinner was a hot oil fondue. I had been preparing for it since October, buying meats when they were on sale. I get my veggies from a different store. This was the stuff that we needed, that we don't normally have in the house (at least in those quantities). It was not a regular shopping trip.
Seems like many people are operating under the assumption that all those spaghettios and mac-n-cheese were for the one little girl. Could just be for a family of 6.... picking up a few items on the way home from the daughter's dance class....
I too, have started a reply, deleted and started several times. I understand what you are saying - that you can't judge based on an individual instance of food purchase. However, your child are of normal weight and this child and her mother were not.
I've also read about children getting nutrition education at school. That is not the case in most schools. My daughter has attended three different schools (two different grade schools and is now in high school) and it has never been on the curriculum. I never had it in school, either. Furthermore, my daughter always took her lunch to school so that I could ensure she was eating healthy since most of the foods served at the school cafeteria were fried, macaroni and cheese - nary a shred of a fruit or vegetable.
I think it boils down to this: an individual must first want to educate themselves on nutrition and children are clearly going to learn their eating habits from their parents. Not schools. Even if a school has a good nutrition class, if the parent is eating poorly, then the child will likely eat poorly too unless that child makes a decision on his or her own to change their own eating habits. Sadly, that doesn't happen for many kids simply because that's 'how they grew up'.
I have come to think that the whole obesity problem boils down to laziness. It's just easier to eat what's in front of you than to take the time to educate yourself and be constantly vigilant in making good food choices. Where I find it upsetting is when a parent, who clearly knows better or has the opportunity to learn better, makes poor choices where the kids are concerned. It's one thing for an adult to decide not to take care of their bodies with proper diet and exercise, but it's another thing altogether when they make that same poor choice for thier children and again, it's really out of laziness. You can argue that for single parents or poor parents or the over worked parent that it's just easier, faster, cheaper - whatever - to go through the drive thru. The real answer here is that drive through eating is lazy. It just is. I am a single parent.
My child still carries her healthy lunch to school, we still take the time to eat a healthy home cooked meal most nights and on the very few nights that we eat out, my daughter makes healthy choices based on what I have both taught her and modeled for her. Unfortunately, our example is not the norm. We've known another single parent and daughter since the kids were young. The mother is college-educated and even works in the medical field. Clearly, she has had nutritional training and has the opportunity on a daily basis to further her education about good nutrition and healthy lifestyles. She and her daughter are both quite obese. They live on take out food. The daughter is clearly self-concious and suffering for it. The entire situation just breaks my heart and many other parents have commented how sad the situation is and how we wish there was something we could do to help the daughter - but you can't without offending.
The plain fact is that America is obese because Americans are lazy and not choosing to be different. I work in a first floor office by the window at a company whose CEO is on the forefront of the health reform and watch people walk by the window as they go back and forth to our cafeteria (which is stocked with both bad and heatlhy choices) and have actually counted the thin people (it's a smaller number) and for every 12 overweight person, there is one thin person. 1 in 12. That's a pretty sad commentary.
The information is out there. It's constantly in the news, on TV shows like Dr. Oz, on web sites - there is an abundance of information on eating properly and exercising. People are simply choosing not to follow it - and yes, I agree with SHBoss - it makes me mad when they choose it as a life for their kids.0 -
I am so with you, that is disgusting. We CAN NOT feed our children like this everyday. Nothing breaks my heart more than an obese child. I may not be the best at feeding myself healthy but I watch what my kids eat.
At the same time, you can not deny them treats, I was never allowed cookies and soda in my home, when I moved out on my own I went a bit crazy eating all I denied. Then had to learn as an adult how to limit this stuff. I have no willpower because I never had to learn it. This is a tough balance and most people dont know how to break the cycle!!!0 -
The information is out there. It's constantly in the news, on TV shows like Dr. Oz, on web sites - there is an abundance of information on eating properly and exercising. People are simply choosing not to follow it - and yes, I agree with SHBoss - it makes me mad when they choose it as a life for their kids.
I agree with so much of what you said.
But, being someone who really didnt know how to eat correctly for 25 years, I'm going to give a little input on why I think people aren't choosing to eat well. I think the reason is because there's so much out there that leads people in the wrong direction -- 100 calorie packs, "low fat," "sugar free," "diet," "natural." All of those meaningless junk terms are printed on packages crammed into nearly every market aisle. Media moguls telling people they absolutely can't eat a morsel after 7pm, or have to eat a diet that's low in carbs, or have to eat a low fat diet or some other nonsense.
There's so much information out there to sort through that it can be very overwhelming. We've listened to famous people and authors and doctors and have tried to do whatever BS they have told us to do for so long we've completely forgotten about using common sense when it comes to eating healthy and exercising. I'm not trying to pass the buck to media, everyone's responsible for themselves when it comes to lifestyle, but in my opinion and experience, this is where the American obesity epidemic starts.
I have been lazy much of the time when it comes to how I eat and not exercising. But the laziness was mostly a result of defeat. Like most people, I felt like I had "tried everything" to be healthy & lose weight, including "eating right and exercising" (which I lost 40 pounds doing 4 years ago but fell off the wagon because I was depriving myself & I didn't understand what "eating right" meant). Instead of thinking the method failed me, I assumed I was the one who failed. Being a failure is pretty depressing, and if you're an emotional eater, depression leads to significant weight gain (70 pounds in 4 years).
So, while I agree that it is definitely not the responsibility of a school to teach children how to eat well, I feel like the people of this nation have to figure out what the term actually means before anything positive happens in terms of obesity. Eating packaged foods labeled "diet" and "low calorie" and "low fat" and "low carb" is not eating healthy. But, with all the marketing and diet scams out there saying the same things and pushing us all in the same direction, why would anyone ever even consider that possibility? That's what we're all being told to eat by so many people, and these people must have our best interest in mind so it must be true, yes? No.0 -
I have posted on this thread, this will be my 3rd time. I think this thread is just beating the point to death. No one is ever going to agree 100% It is time to kill the thread!!!!! It keeps popping up at the top of "my topics" People are just starting to repeat themselves. Let the thread die peacefully:bigsmile: 0
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So, while I agree that it is definitely not the responsibility of a school to teach children how to eat well, I feel like the people of this nation have to figure out what the term actually means before anything positive happens in terms of obesity. Eating packaged foods labeled "diet" and "low calorie" and "low fat" and "low carb" is not eating healthy. But, with all the marketing and diet scams out there saying the same things and pushing us all in the same direction, why would anyone ever even consider that possibility? That's what we're all being told to eat by so many people, and these people must have our best interest in mind so it must be true, yes? No.
The message being put out now by Dr. Oz and others is the right message - look at the Nutritional Information on the back or side of the box. Even then, you must read the ingredients list. I've found high fructose corn syrup in "Whole Wheat" bread and partially hydrogenated oil in peanut butter that lists 0 grams trans fat! Eating healthy for your heart and body composition takes effort and most people do not want to put in that effort - they rely instead on "cheats" provided by the diet czars and food industry to keep you buying their products.
Obesity, no matter what the "diet" plan, is simple math. Calories consumed must be less than or equal to calories expended.
It's your body. It's your responsibility.
Where children are concerned, it's the parent's responsibility.0 -
I have posted on this thread, this will be my 3rd time. I think this thread is just beating the point to death. No one is ever going to agree 100% It is time to kill the thread!!!!! It keeps popping up at the top of "my topics" People are just starting to repeat themselves. Let the thread die peacefully:bigsmile:
Just a reminder, let it die:sick: :flowerforyou:0 -
Some of us clearly still feel there are things to discuss in topic, so perhaps you could just refrain from reading it, if you are no longer interested.
Perhaps you could instead send a suggestion to MFP that they change the My Topics listing so that you can opt out of a topic. That would be a much more productive approach.0 -
Perhaps you are right!:flowerforyou: But I still think we are beating the subject to death:sick:0
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Perhaps you are right!:flowerforyou: But I still think we are beating the subject to death:sick:
this made me :laugh:
:flowerforyou:0 -
It cracks me up that the comments keeping this at the top of my topics are all about how I should stop reading it.0
This discussion has been closed.
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