Dating and kids

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  • brandalini
    brandalini Posts: 237 Member
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    I have a 5 year old son and my boyfriend has a 2 year old son. I have full custody of mine, he sees his dad every few weeks for the weekend, my boyfriend's son is with us 50 per cent of the time.

    I dated a guy before that had a daughter and I vowed to NEVER do it again...it was AWFUL! He wasn't a great dad, we didn't have the same values or parenting ideals and after that I was so turned off by the idea of dating someone who has kids...and then I met this boyfriend and he's amazing. He is fighting to get FULL custody, he cooks homemade healthy meals, reads to him, teaches him, plays with him constantly, and he parents the same way I do which is great.

    So, my answer is maybe! It depends on the parent raising the kid and of course the kid itself. My step-son is a delightful, sweet boy that I adore so that helps a lot!
  • SassyAshleigh
    SassyAshleigh Posts: 78 Member
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    Negative. I don't have my own children, and that is a first that I want for my then-husband and myself. I don't date people with kids.
  • fishgutzy
    fishgutzy Posts: 2,807 Member
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    I'd date my wife any day. :bigsmile:
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
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    I'd date my wife any day. :bigsmile:

    Winner!
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Yes. My husband had(s) full custody when we met. Makes it a hell of a lot easier that we don't have to deal with co parenting. Our hands our full with my crazy ex. But at 22, and having to ask.....then please, stay far far away from that man and his babies.
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
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    I can't imagine anyone not loving my kids, for what it's worth. :) They make me a better man - so my prospective dates will reap the rewards of their influence upon my life (not so much that they have changed me, but learning to love them the way they need to be loved changed me).

    CUTE!
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
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    If he's a good guy I probably would. I'm a single mom, have been officially for 7 years, but I would prefer a guy that doesn't have full custody. I know that's jacked up, but oh well. I'm still trying to figure out this mom thing with my kid. But, if he was amazing and worth it, I definitely would.
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
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    I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.


    This times a million. I feel like I have a lot to offer to the right woman but I can hardly blame them for not wanting to get involved considering having to deal with the ex and what not. My girls and I have settled into a comfortable routine that works really well for us. I won't give up hope, being the romantic that I am, but I do have to be a realist. I will probably be single until my kids are grown, which is happening wayyyy too fast.

    Sadly, I think I have to agree... I just got out of a relationship with a man who really did not want much to do with my son... I spent so much energy on him this past year, trying to make things work... When my son is a gazillion times more important!!!
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
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    I don't have kids. Neither did my husband. And that was really important to both of us when we met. He ruled out potential dating partners because they had kids. And... so did I. My last boyfriend was childless as well. It's just a lifestyle choice.
  • avir8
    avir8 Posts: 671 Member
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    Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all? :)

    No & No.
    I appreciate good dads and all, but I don't want to be your kids' mom and I don't want to deal with your kids' mom. Too much drama in most cases.
    Preach.gif
  • Shelgirl001
    Shelgirl001 Posts: 476 Member
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    I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one. I can only hope there are some decent, single men out there that would want to date someone who has a child/full custody!!

    This exactly.
    Yup, here, too...
  • Shelgirl001
    Shelgirl001 Posts: 476 Member
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    I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.


    This times a million. I feel like I have a lot to offer to the right woman but I can hardly blame them for not wanting to get involved considering having to deal with the ex and what not. My girls and I have settled into a comfortable routine that works really well for us. I won't give up hope, being the romantic that I am, but I do have to be a realist. I will probably be single until my kids are grown, which is happening wayyyy too fast.

    Sadly, I think I have to agree... I just got out of a relationship with a man who really did not want much to do with my son... I spent so much energy on him this past year, trying to make things work... When my son is a gazillion times more important!!!


    And yet I do agree with this... My relationship with a man just ended after 27 + months, He barely wanted anything to do with his own kids, and seemed to feel mine were always in the way, no matter what he said. It gets old. He seemed to think he should be my first priority. Just don't want to put my kids through it again.
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
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    No I wouldn't, and I married a guy with a kid. :indifferent:
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    Yes. I love kids (hate babies though haha), so as long as HE were awesome and there were only one or two kids and they were cool too, sure why not.

    My EX had two kids from his previous marriage (failed because of him cheating multiple times), wasn't in their lives, had hardly any friends or contact with his family. Experimented on rats for a living. Overall not good with relationships and sometimes I think the reason he wasn't in his kids' lives was because they were GIRLS and he wanted a boy. The reasons he wanted a son were even more disturbing. :noway:

    One of the main reasons the relationship could never have worked.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
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    Never. Funny thing is I used to be a School teacher! (Now I can't stand to be around kids)
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
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    I've never had a problem with the idea and am currently seeing someone with kids who live with him mostly full time (ex has them every other weekend kind of deal). I love kids, so it's no biggie to me :)
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    Yes & my husband did. I had an almost 3yo son when we met. A month later we were married & 16 years later HE is who my son has always called dad.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
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    Three words: baby mama drama.

    I've not been in a relationship, but one of my old best friends had a kid (now has two) and he was constaaaaaaantly having drama with his baby mama. I can't imagine being MARRIED to that.

    Plus, I don't want kids.
  • cgarand
    cgarand Posts: 541 Member
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    It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. Guys that don't pay child support is a deal breaker though. Just be aware that his ex is going to get out of rehab and she will be part of the mix. They share children. And, where there is an ex that has drug issues there is drama. So, if he is worth the drama strap on your seat belt and go for it! :)
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    i don't see how children are a factor.

    if you like the person, why is it an issue if they have kids already?

    to me, it's pretty shallow not to date someone for that reason.

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