What is with all the stipulations when friending someone?

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Replies

  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
    i have none for accepting but sending is diffrent, i have to find something you said that was a) intresting or b) funny:smile:
  • stormsusmc
    stormsusmc Posts: 228 Member
    Welcome to the internet. Where everyone is important and always right. If you can take a decent picture, you MUST be popular. People get big headed easily and fullbof self importance after being complimented.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    I refuse to support dangerously low calorie intake.

    A lot of people find this offensive, so I put up a warning. You friend me at your own risk, and you will be subject to my critiques and meddling. You don't like it? Don't friend me.
  • crazyellybean
    crazyellybean Posts: 999 Member
    Too much drama!!

    Non-Loggers - why even ask for friends your not going to stick with it.

    Eating Disorders- don't really want to hear why you ate and then threw up your food, than decided to run around the block 50 times because got forbid your weight goes over 100!



    Personally I give everyone a chance, with the exception of 18-21 year olds, because frankly they just bring too much drama to my list.
  • GypsysBloodRose26
    GypsysBloodRose26 Posts: 341 Member
    Because I keep my friends list manageable. The point is to support one another. I read people's dairies, make motivational comments, and try to help with problems. I expect the same in return. Otherwise you might just as well chat on the message boards, surely? I know I can only keep up with about 40 people on here; if people drop out, as they do sometimes, then I'll add people, but I look for people who are going to be active friends and with whom I have something in common. Makes sense to me.

    Absolutely This!
  • Bakerchk
    Bakerchk Posts: 424 Member
    Would you walk up next to a person and not say a word and expect them to consider you a friend? Same thing here.

    Whoop Whoop! Love this man! :)
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 770 Member
    It almost appears snobbish.

    Which part? Expecting someone who has no clue who you are to friend you, or asking someone to say "hi" before you add them to your list?
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    I accept all friend requests (except one- went to read the person's wall and stuff first, and they were beyond creepy)
    But I accept anyone pretty much, I lmight delete later if they end up being jerks, creeps, not logged in for 3 weeks and never ever responded to my greetings and comments, etc.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Why surround yourself with people that will annoy you? :o
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
    I like a message unless we have mutual friends, just so I know where you found me. This is because my guy's aunt is a psycho, and I'm trying to keep her OUT of my life any my business.

    I also am particular about EDs. If you're working to get past one, sure, I'll be glad to be your friend. If you're proud of it/want no help/don't think it's an issue that you eat 500 calories a day and burn more than that, then I don't want to be your friend because I can't watch someone destroy their body and be proud of it. (I'd have the same issue if someone was at the other end of the scale, and trying to gain weight.)
  • fizzletto
    fizzletto Posts: 252 Member
    Speaking for only myself, I'll only allow people in my friends list who have their diaries open to friends, and whose calorie intakes are not dangerously low.

    The first is because I don't think I can adequately support, motivate and advise people when I can't see what they're eating, so I don't think it's fair. I can't comment "Great job!" on a status that says they were under their calorie goal, when for all I know they may have only eaten chocolate bars that day.

    I also don't want people who follow stupid fad diets or have EDs that they are NOT trying to get over to be on my friends list because it's a bad influence on me and I don't want to seem like I'm condoning or reinforcing their unhealthy behaviour.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    Usually hot chicks sick of getting 10 FR a day from creepy guys.
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
    What is with all the stipulations when friending someone on here?

    I have read on many people bios that you…..A) Have to send them a message when friending them; of when and why your friending them. B) You can’t have too less of a calorie intake C)You have to log in all the time unless you have a excuse, D) Be a frequent commenter E)You have to engage with the person on a regular basis F)No people with a eating disorder.

    WOW! That’s a lot of stipulations of being ones interwebs friend. I am new here but I guess there are many who have ed's that you have to put that in your bio? Are these stipulations common to being ones friend on here? Or are these people extreme?

    I completely agree, I do think some people are being really extreme, and could do with loosening up a little. That's just me. If you're nice enough to me and aren't a perv, I'll friend anyone. I might unfriend someone later on if they never log in, or if they just aren't a good fit for me, but I'll almost always give someone a chance, first.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Momma dropped me once....I go fast on my three wheeler vroom vroom
  • jacquerd
    jacquerd Posts: 121 Member
    IMHO, it is not snobbish. I have stipulations on mine, but I break them. I want to know why you want to befriend me. Most of my pals are like minded and that helps keep me on track. If I am pals with people with ED, I don't think I can help them...that is a pfofesh thing and that is not going to help me. I also like clean eating, but have friends that eat fried foods, mac and cheese and Doritos...and wonder why they aren't losing weight. I need people to be on me and help me. Those who aren't like minded can't do that. I exercise a lot and I love it. I eat a lot and that works for me. Starving and pills and eating one thing all day that is 1500 calories is not good.

    Again.....IMHO. JS
  • chocolateandpb
    chocolateandpb Posts: 438 Member
    Because I keep my friends list manageable. The point is to support one another. I read people's dairies, make motivational comments, and try to help with problems. I expect the same in return. Otherwise you might just as well chat on the message boards, surely? I know I can only keep up with about 40 people on here; if people drop out, as they do sometimes, then I'll add people, but I look for people who are going to be active friends and with whom I have something in common. Makes sense to me.

    Exactly.
  • jacquerd
    jacquerd Posts: 121 Member
    Also, yes, you can be social here, and I am with my pals, but it is primarily for fitness and weight loss/maintenance. Socialites and friends of friends of friends of friends and strangers....FB is for that.
  • kissedbytheocean
    kissedbytheocean Posts: 131 Member
    I agree with lizziebeth. I am not in the business of "collecting" friends. I like to keep my friend list manageable because I like to remember who my friends are and why we connected in the first place. For me, having hundreds and hundreds of anonymous friends defeats the purpose.

    This ^^^

    Even though I clearly say on my profile to leave me a message when you add me, most people don't, which just tells me they're in the friend-collecting business and aren't even paying attention to the individual people that they're adding.

    Plus, I have ED issues that I'm trying to work through and I don't feel like befriending people who can't relate or who are going to lecture me.
  • mom2handh1975
    mom2handh1975 Posts: 224 Member
    I don't have a lot of stipulations but this isn't Facebook, either, and I am not collecting friends. I want people who will support me as much as I do them. And if they have an eating disorder, I cant really help with that. I have tried and I just end up sad over it. That sort of person needs a special kind of interaction with someone who has been in their position and come out of it. I cant identify with that.

    ^ :heart: This!
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    It's only polite to introduce yourself if you expect to be friends with someone. Personally, if you don't care enough to say hello when you ask to be my friend, I don't care enough to accept the request. ETA: The kiss of death is a closed profile with no message, that's just creepy.

    People here are looking for likeminded support, so if they are active on MFP they want friends who will be the same. I don't think it's arrogant at all, it is good to let others know what kind of support community you are building so that they know right up front whether they will enjoy being part of that community.

    Probably a lot of those requirements come from deleting people who didn't end up fitting well with them/their personalities, and they just want to save the trouble of doing that.

    My friend put it very well. :)
  • embercakez
    embercakez Posts: 141
    so you don't end up with stupid pieces of ****...but sometimes those ****ers get through.
  • Donnaakamagmid
    Donnaakamagmid Posts: 198 Member
    When I 1st started in January I accepted anyone but I got a lot of people I just didn't click with. I had one person who posted knock knock jokes all day long. Another pissed and moaned because they weren't losing, yet they also posted about all the partying they did everynight. :huh:


    I'm a middle aged woman, I'm here to help get fit and I want friends with similar goals. I like to keep my list small so I can support and be supported as my wonderful MFP friends deserve.

    We are each here for our own reasons and should be able to choose how we use the site.

    Arrogant & snobbish? Maybe, but it's my journey, my choice.
  • kellygirl324
    kellygirl324 Posts: 74 Member
    I don't discriminate. Everyone needs a friend and support, ED or not! I was deleted off of someone's friend list bcuz I didn't partake in his "getting off". Oops...sorry mods. I came on here for fitness/health, not hooking up!
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    For me....

    I want to know why someone wants to be my friend. I already have a lot of friends and I find it hard to keep up as it is.

    I have had some crazies add me, don't want to go there again.

    I don't really want to be anyone's "inspiration" because I'm not really actively trying to lose weight right now.
  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
    I only friend people who believe in numerology
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    It almost appears snobbish.


    It isn't that I think I'm better than other people...



    ...it's that I actually am better than them.
  • Jenn728
    Jenn728 Posts: 683 Member
    The delete button works real well for me.
  • JessieMaeH82
    JessieMaeH82 Posts: 79 Member
    But all of you must admit - when you're new, you don't discriminate. It's the friendships you make initially that last the longest. And you didn't discriminate against them.... right? Just playing devil's advocate :)

    I agree with this one! Although now I do have stipulations. Although I don't post them.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    A - The message is to avoid creepers/people who collect friends. Nobody is wrong for seeking like-minded people with similar goals.

    B - I can't relate with somebody who is fighting to eat 300 calories a day. Our goals are different and I can't justify cheering them on.

    C - Inactive friends seems pointless except to look like you're popular on here. I'd much prefer people who are pushing just as hard as I am. Again, someone that I can relate to.

    D - I don't personally care if somebody comments frequently. Some do because they need that little bit of motivation to help push them.

    E - Same as above.

    F - I don't mind if somebody is /recovering/ from their ED. As stated previously, I can't support somebody eating 300 calories a day and bragging about their weight loss. It's a scary thing and isn't something I want to see everyday.

    Does this answer your questions?
  • _JR_
    _JR_ Posts: 830 Member
    It almost appears snobbish.

    Because us "snobs" don't want to have 1000 friends running our feed up. Because people with several hundred friends aren't really "friends" with most of them. You can't keep up with everyone if you just let everyone in the door.

    Because those of us who've been here for a while realize that you need to automatically filter out the ones you would routinely cut from your list anyways.

    I have no problem having expectations if you want into my little world.

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