What is with all the stipulations when friending someone?

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  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
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    I'm way to laid back of a person to put stipulations down. If I friend you and you are a weirdo, that delete button is wonderful.
  • Ms_Steel
    Ms_Steel Posts: 125
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    If I just walked up to you and started touching your pecs, would you consider me a friend?

    I'd touch yours back.

    I approve of this friendship.


    :stands around waiting with pecs hanging out:

    ohheyyyy
  • MariaMariaM
    MariaMariaM Posts: 1,322 Member
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    The only stipulation I have is that a message is required. If you don't tell me who you are or why you want to be my friend, how do I know we have anything in common? I also thing it is just simple courtesy to include a message. No message = decline. Also if the message is creepy = decline.

    I also like people to interact. Why would you want to be my friend if you never say a word? If I don't hear from the new friend in a matter of a week or 2, that person gets deleted.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    For me it's about how I choose to support my friends on here. We're here to lose weight and/or get fit. That is priority #1. The social aspect helps but is somewhere near #10 on my list of priorities for my healthier lifestyle. However, when I do accept someone, I am ready to give them every ounce of support and advice I can muster. So when some creeper randomly sends me a friend request, they will not get accepted. I'll give people a chance and check out their profiles but if nothing is filled in and they haven't posted something in a thread I've posted in lately, the FR is declined. There must be a reason for me to accept you and put my energy into supporting you.

    I'm also quick to delete because I'm not about collecting friends. If all you do is crab and moan but you're not putting effort in, you're gone. If I cheerlead you on a regular basis but you can't spare 2 seconds to give me a WTG, you're gone...sorry, this is a 2 way street. And if you haven't logged in a month without some indication of why - you will be deleted.

    I will not waste my time on people who aren't serious about this. Come on now - it's not FB, it's MFP!
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    Some social media sites prompt you to include a message when you "friend" someone. MFP doesn't make it so obvious since it's a separate button. It was only later when reading stipulations that I found I must have been branded a "creeper" for failing to honor that bit of protocol! :-)
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    Just like I don't walk up to a stranger and start talking to them like I know them, I think it's polite to send a message that at least says "Hi, I'm blah...etc etc".
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    I'm way to laid back of a person to put stipulations down. If I friend you and you are a weirdo, that delete button is wonderful.

    I'm your polar opposite. I need a note with a fr, and if you're not weird we probably won't get along.
  • lcn1220
    lcn1220 Posts: 124 Member
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    I have a stipulation of requiring a message because some people treat this site like a Facebook friends list arms race. It is tiresome really to have people add you only because they want to pad their friends list. I give and like to receive feedback so for me adding someone is paying attention to them and their goings ons. It's my time and mental energy they're requesting, I don't think asking for a message (I even give suggestions to as what to write) is too unreasonable and out of bounds.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    Would you walk up next to a person and not say a word and expect them to consider you a friend? Same thing here.

    If I just walked up to you and started touching your pecs, would you consider me a friend?

    I would :wink:

    All of what you wrote is in my profile, OP. I used to accept FRs without a note, but once my FL got above 200 it was hard to keep up with everyone, so I had to add it. Even with me saying if you don't communicate with me I'll delete you, I still get FRs from people who don't communicate with me. So I delete them! :drinker:
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    Sending a blank friend request is like walking up to someone, wide eyed with a slightly too large smile.

    And staring at them.

    Just when the tension becomes even worse, say "yes?" Smile even wider, and nod furiously.
  • gc_tweety
    gc_tweety Posts: 205 Member
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    I have found that by the time many people have come to MFP they are in "ME" mode. Not in a negative way but they have put themselves last for so long that it is time to care for themselves. For some there is no extra time or energy to care for one more person who can only take. The nice thing is they are putting it out there, this is what I need and will accept. I can't blame anyone for that.
  • OK_Girl
    OK_Girl Posts: 123 Member
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    Yes I understand not wanting the ed around you but C, D, & E? Just seems a bit much. It’s almost a job in its self to be the person’s friend.

    I haven't been here long, and I don't have a ton of friends- but the ones I have are very supportive, encouraging, and they do notice my progress. It takes allot of effort. And they have never met me in real life. I really appreciate that.

    I think people want to know 1. you are here for similiar reasons, and 2. You are committed to the MFP friendship. They need/want encouragement, too. They want the same level of commitment and reciprocity. Allot of people are friend collectors. I am not like that. I have a small group of friends that I really feel like we are all on this journey together. Expressing a sincere desire to connect, and support the person you are requesting goes a long way.
  • Icelandic_Saga
    Icelandic_Saga Posts: 2,926 Member
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    If I just walked up to you and started touching your pecs, would you consider me a friend?

    I'd touch yours back.

    I approve of this friendship.


    :stands around waiting with pecs hanging out:

    ohheyyyy

    can anyone join this pec touching party?
  • beach_please
    beach_please Posts: 533 Member
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    I don't have any stipulations, but I won't accept a totally blank profile.

    Even people who send FRs with message and APPEAR non-creepy can turn out to be a weirdo. I just exercise my right to delete people who turn out to be creepy... which I did just today after getting a skeevy PM first thing this morning.
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
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    1.) I have over 100 on my FL that I talk with and support everyday. If someone can't take the 2 seconds to write a message in their Friend Request then they aren't who I'm looking for.

    2.) In the beginning I had blank friend requests that were out of the blue, then they started trying to sell me crap like Body By Vi, body wraps, Shakeology or Beach Body. Now I ask for a message and I go look at their profile first.

    3.) I don't have it on my profile, but I don't generally friend anyone that eats under 1200 because I want people I can relate to. If you are eating 600 cals, *****ing that you are "so full" but can't lose any weight, and don't want to hear any suggestions, we don't have the same fitness/health goals in mind.

    So yes, I'm one of those *****y people who has stipulations, if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to send me a FR.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Sending a blank friend request is like walking up to someone, wide eyed with a slightly too large smile.

    And staring at them.

    Just when the tension becomes even worse, say "yes?" Smile even wider, and nod furiously.

    Bahahaha! Exactly this. I have nothing to add.
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
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    I like getting a message with friend requests but not getting one isn't a deal breaker for me. If I accept a FR and then the person is annoying in some way I'll delete them but otherwise I just try to send requests to people who have intrigued me in some way in the forums or on another friend's posts. Biggest pet peeve? Guys who actually request pictures of me or other women on their friends list. I'm not here to entertain, I'm here to find a healthier way of life.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    Sending a blank friend request is like walking up to someone, wide eyed with a slightly too large smile.

    And staring at them.

    Just when the tension becomes even worse, say "yes?" Smile even wider, and nod furiously.


    I think you described my son, but he gives an almost evil smile.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    There is just TOO MANY awesome people on this site to be friends with them all. It becomes necessary to narrow it down to a specific number of people that you have the most in common with. People narrow them down with stipulations... it's not personal. Just practical.
  • cupcakes_
    cupcakes_ Posts: 274 Member
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    I dont' give a fvck if someone includes a message. I'll add you, if you're annoying or a d-bag, then I delete. Simple.

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