Are men wired to cheat...?
Replies
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Really?no they aren't wired to cheat and neither are women...there are just certain things you need to do with your partner in order for them no to stray
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Really?no they aren't wired to cheat and neither are women...there are just certain things you need to do with your partner in order for them no to stray
That's stupid. If someone wants to cheat, and they've decided it's okay, then they will. They can validate the action in any way that makes it okay in their brain but if they're really set on it, there's nothing you can do about it and it's wrong to try to blame yourself for someone else's actions which are out of your control.0 -
Men and women who cheat are less intelligent than the ones who don't (yes I realize that this might piss a lot of people off, but it's the truth).
If only less intelligent people cheat - or have cheated - then I must be really dumb despite my MENSA membership.
Cheating is a response to emotional issues, not intelligence - or lack thereof - for me it was a direct response to what I saw as being utterly unloved and totally pushed out of the relationship. We fought and fought over my step child (her only child) with seemingly every thing the child did being perfect and everything I did being utterly wrong. Especially if what I was doing was trying to coach (aka criticize) the child and show the errors of their way.
It was not that simple, but she sided with he child regardless of who was right or wrong simply because she did not want to see her baby criticized. It was way more complex than that, there was a lot of additional stress going on in our lives.
So when I got attention from a nice young lady that did not scream at me, did not cold shoulder me and more important than anything, actually seemed to want to be with me without blaming me for everything wrong in her world, it was a pretty easy transition form friendship to lovers.
Oops.
Sure I could have avoided it, but it had little to do with intelligence, have you ever tried to use intelligence to argue in such situations. It was a response to the sheer hell I had at home and the irrational and alarming behavior of my partner. It was an escape...
My relationship was utterly dead and the fact that I started a new one sometime before the old one had been legally certified as such technically meant that I cheated on her.0 -
This is how my SO explained it to me: A man can love his woman with all his heart, but if he lets his guard down (by putting himself in a potentially bad situation, ie going to the bar alone each night after work, ect) he'll end up messing around with another woman. Two seconds after he's finished and the blood rushes back to his brain, he'll think, "WTF did I just do? Damn."
I personally think men and women cheat for different reasons. I think men are driven by a biological drive to spread their seed; their faithfulness relies on their intellectual, emotional, and financial stability. When a man feels powerless, he'll seek to fill that need by proving his prowess. Women cheat because they're trying to fill an emotional need their relationship isn't meeting; they don't feel attractive, appreciated, loved, ect. They attempt to assuage the emotional void through their indiscretions.0 -
I think if your unhappy where you are male or female, you will look elsewhere for some sort of lovin. I think it's human nature, plain & simple!0
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Men that are happy with the women they are with do not cheat, men are wired to be happy and look for that happiness!0
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... more like wired to WIN!!! *gives high five*0
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Google "Polyamory" .... Love does not equal ownership ... You can save yourself a lot of jealousy by recognizing human nature. Of course, we all hope to find that special somebody but it's a lot to ask of one person especially early on. Don't set somebody you love up to disappoint you ... Or yourself to disappoint them. Lighten up and have some fun!! Being single can be a wonderful thing, and when you find that special somebody, you will be more emotionally equipped to accept that blessing without codependency or desperation.0
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They are wired to try to pass on their genes.
However, what with our culture saying to be faithful to one person at a time, I think they are perfectly able to have self control.0 -
Wired to cheat? Highly doubtful. But I have been cheated on once by my soon to be ex husband, once by the guy before that, and three times by the guy before that *scratches head*
Maybe I'm wired to be cheated on lmao....
I promise I won't cheat on you. Just please don't tell my wife.
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hmmm let me ask my co-worker this same ???? since his wife of nearly 15yrs cheated on him...he was crushed. never got over it denied....divorce
women are just as vicious0 -
hmmm let me ask my co-worker this same ???? since his wife of nearly 15yrs cheated on him...he was crushed. never got over it denied....divorce
women are just as vicious
I agree that women are just as likely to cheat as much as a man is.
Ive been cheated on by a man and have also cheated but only after he did. I'm not saying two wrongs make a right but it never crossed my mind until it was done to me. I would never do it again. Its not true what they say "once a cheater always a cheater." I have not done it again and never will.0 -
Wired to cheat? Highly doubtful. But I have been cheated on once by my soon to be ex husband, once by the guy before that, and three times by the guy before that *scratches head*
Maybe I'm wired to be cheated on lmao....
Wow....I know several men have already made this comment so please take this the right way. I'm very happily married but you are stunning. I'm not sure where you typically go to meet men but if you've been cheated on by 3 different men.....wherever you are finding men.....immediately take a 180 and turn around and go the other way. I'm not sure where to tell you to look in the "right" places but you are definitely looking in the "wrong" places.0 -
All animals that have two sexes are 'wired' to cheat - females, who invest more heavily in each gamete, need to spread their risk of choosing a dud mate, and males, who have cheap and plentiful gametes, are driven to get them into as many females as possible.
So yes, men, being animals, are 'wired' to cheat, but so are females.
If you want to argue about how much control our social constructs as humans have over that wiring, that's a WHOLE different argument. Are we more that just our wiring? Most people think (and therefore act) so.
But at the pure 'wiring' level, speaking as basic biological drivers, that would be a yes.
This pretty much sums up everything I was going to say. Good job, prior poster.0 -
Am I wired that way? I've cheated and more then once, I find the female body irresistible, yes I can stop myself but most of the time I don't want too.0
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Men and women who cheat are less intelligent than the ones who don't (yes I realize that this might piss a lot of people off, but it's the truth).
If only less intelligent people cheat - or have cheated - then I must be really dumb despite my MENSA membership.
Cheating is a response to emotional issues, not intelligence - or lack thereof - for me it was a direct response to what I saw as being utterly unloved and totally pushed out of the relationship. We fought and fought over my step child (her only child) with seemingly every thing the child did being perfect and everything I did being utterly wrong. Especially if what I was doing was trying to coach (aka criticize) the child and show the errors of their way.
It was not that simple, but she sided with he child regardless of who was right or wrong simply because she did not want to see her baby criticized. It was way more complex than that, there was a lot of additional stress going on in our lives.
So when I got attention from a nice young lady that did not scream at me, did not cold shoulder me and more important than anything, actually seemed to want to be with me without blaming me for everything wrong in her world, it was a pretty easy transition form friendship to lovers.
Oops.
Sure I could have avoided it, but it had little to do with intelligence, have you ever tried to use intelligence to argue in such situations. It was a response to the sheer hell I had at home and the irrational and alarming behavior of my partner. It was an escape...
My relationship was utterly dead and the fact that I started a new one sometime before the old one had been legally certified as such technically meant that I cheated on her.
nah your dumber.0 -
This is how my SO explained it to me: A man can love his woman with all his heart, but if he lets his guard down (by putting himself in a potentially bad situation, ie going to the bar alone each night after work, ect) he'll end up messing around with another woman. Two seconds after he's finished and the blood rushes back to his brain, he'll think, "WTF did I just do? Damn."
I personally think men and women cheat for different reasons. I think men are driven by a biological drive to spread their seed; their faithfulness relies on their intellectual, emotional, and financial stability. When a man feels powerless, he'll seek to fill that need by proving his prowess. Women cheat because they're trying to fill an emotional need their relationship isn't meeting; they don't feel attractive, appreciated, loved, ect. They attempt to assuage the emotional void through their indiscretions.
I think the first part of your statement really oversimplifies things and makes it seem like it's a more common occurance than it is.
Give MEN some slack here.0 -
EwwwwwAm I wired that way? I've cheated and more then once, I find the female body irresistible, yes I can stop myself but most of the time I don't want too.
I certainly hope you warn prospective dates about this sleeziness.0 -
All animals that have two sexes are 'wired' to cheat - females, who invest more heavily in each gamete, need to spread their risk of choosing a dud mate, and males, who have cheap and plentiful gametes, are driven to get them into as many females as possible.
So yes, men, being animals, are 'wired' to cheat, but so are females.
If you want to argue about how much control our social constructs as humans have over that wiring, that's a WHOLE different argument. Are we more that just our wiring? Most people think (and therefore act) so.
But at the pure 'wiring' level, speaking as basic biological drivers, that would be a yes.
Since our evolutionary biologist got busy and couldn't reply again yesterday, I'll pose the question to you. How are human beings "wired" to cheat when cheating has to do with a moral decision and nothing scientific?This pretty much sums up everything I was going to say. Good job, prior poster.0 -
Humans are animals. Highly complicated, intelligent, emotional animals. But still animals.
Cognitive reasoning is one aspect of human biology. It could also mean it makes us clever enough to cheat and get away with it.
Speech ? So we can tell each other about it?? Not sure I get the reasoning here.
Yes, modern humans build all sorts of things. It doesn't mean we've abandoned all our biological imperatives.
'Sin' is a societal construct. It's not a concept with universal understanding by the majority of modern humans. We're talking about wiring, in the sense of instinct and natural behaviour. We put societal constraints on many of our natural urges, and we constrain them, but not every human does so, and it doesn't erase those instincts from existence. Love, faithfulness and not cheating are all good things, and many humans do them very naturally. But there are still instincts in there that can push us to do otherwise.
'right and wrong' Complicated, and not a good way to ask questions about 'wiring'. See above
Scientists generally say things that have evidentiary support provided by interrogative experimentation. It doesn't make us always right, but it certainly makes us *more likely* to be right, because we have evidence for our claims. Science is still science even if you don't like the answers!
Your response seems internally contradictory. For instance, you generally argue that “science” is the way to deal with everything (including morality) and you also say “sin” is a social construct but you then want to say that love, faithfulness, etc., are “good things.” What do you mean by “good”? Do you mean they are morally good? Do you merely mean they are advantageous for some physical advantage? What makes something good?
If you think that there is such a thing as moral goodness (I suspect you don’t, but maybe you do), I wonder how you as a scientist “ground” or support it. What does moral goodness mean? By morality I mean what we “ought” to do rather than merely what “is”. It might be that someone has the desire to “cheat” on their spouse but “ought” that person to do so? Someone might have the desire to kill someone. “Ought” they do act on those desires? Is the only deterrent consequences? Is there some intrinsic goodness to human life that morally obligates us to treat it with respect or is this merely a “social construct”?
I think it is false that there is no universal understanding of morality (and, hence, sin). There are fundamental principles that are present across cultures and times. What differs are applications of those principles. These applications vary with circumstances, etc.
On cognitive reasoning being “one aspect of biology,” I wonder how you can claim “objectivity” for the results of your biology. Aren’t your thoughts simply an effect of material, biological causes? Aren’t mine just the effects of mine? How can you claim your biology (and its effects) is more “true” than mine? It seems that our whole discussion “about” biology presupposes that we are, in some sense, transcending biology so that we can make of it an object of reflection and analysis. This, to my mind, makes it something more than merely an effect of biological causality.0 -
Since our evolutionary biologist got busy and couldn't reply again yesterday, I'll pose the question to you. How are human beings "wired" to cheat when cheating has to do with a moral decision and nothing scientific?
Good question. I actually agree with you. It depends on what you mean by "wired to cheat". To me, that's shorthand "we are wired to find opportunistic extra-pair couplings desirable, regardless of our moral state", even if we don't act on it at all the time.
If we have the feelings, then it's evidence of that impulse, that wiring, that feeling. It doesn't mean we act on it with another person. But we often act on it... a little bit. That's why men watch porn and women post 500 threads about Fifty Shades of Grey, despite being "happily married". Wired to cheat. If we weren't, porn and romance novels would never EVER be consumed inside a monogamous relationship. No boners and no tingles would be produced.
If we act on it during a rationally-declared monogamous pair-bond with someone else, it's cheating. So it's that wiring that results in cheating, it's the force and feeling behind the action.
If it happens outside of any pair bond, you're just a sloooot.
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...rationally-declared monogamous pair-bond...
"You don't bring me flowers, anymore....." (That's an old sappy/sad love song, if I'm the only one old enough to remember it.)
A wise man once said that trying to understand comedy by analyzing it is like trying to understand a frog by dissecting it. You might get it figured out, but in the end, the frog is dead.
Same thing here I fear.0 -
Wired to cheat? Highly doubtful. But I have been cheated on once by my soon to be ex husband, once by the guy before that, and three times by the guy before that *scratches head*
Maybe I'm wired to be cheated on lmao....
Wow....I know several men have already made this comment so please take this the right way. I'm very happily married but you are stunning. I'm not sure where you typically go to meet men but if you've been cheated on by 3 different men.....wherever you are finding men.....immediately take a 180 and turn around and go the other way. I'm not sure where to tell you to look in the "right" places but you are definitely looking in the "wrong" places.
Hahaha thank you!! I've found them from all over this state so maybe Washington is toxic for me lol!! I'm gonna do me now, and me far more selective the next time
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Wired to cheat? Highly doubtful. But I have been cheated on once by my soon to be ex husband, once by the guy before that, and three times by the guy before that *scratches head*
Maybe I'm wired to be cheated on lmao....
And all 3 were out of their minds...
Word, truest words on this thread
:blushing: Stop it already lol0 -
No. That's all.0
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No. I could never cheat on the woman I love. In fact, all other women because ugly and unattractive to me when I am with a girl.
I have, however, been cheated on.0 -
This is coming from someone who is jaded, and has been cheated on. From what I have learned/read, the difference is that when men cheat it doesn't mean as much. With women, they are often already emotionally checked out of the relationship.Never heard that one, actually...men are no more wired to cheat than women....depends on the person, not the gender
Yeah, but men seem to use this excuse more....
Many surveys also seem to show that cheating is now closer to a 50/50 situation, rather than just the guy with a fling while on a business trip.0 -
Men are wired to have erections.
Whom/ What they decided to do with it is their choice.0 -
I don't think it's possible to say that someone could be biologically wired to cheat unless you can also say that people are wired to get married. The concept of marriage and cheating are cultural phenomenons. I think it's entirely possible that some people may be more biologically inclined to form a pair and not stray while others would be more likely be more promiscuous.0
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It might be the other way around.0
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