Door Opening Men - a question for you

penrbrown

To the men who open the doors when a lady is behind or in front of you.

Why?

What prompts you to open a door for a woman?

My reasoning for asking is simple. I have never been in a situation where there was a man immediately before or behind me where I've actually had to touch the door myself. They always, always, always open the door for me. I'm so used to it I've never noticed it.

However, a coworker of mine has been complaining that she has never met a man in this town who will open the door for her!

So what's the difference? Why are guys ignoring her and tripping over themselves to open doors for me?

It can't be appearance because she dresses better, she's skinnier and she's prettier (not being modest, this is just facts). So it's not as if I'm getting special treatment because of appearance. So what else could it be?

What is this elusive thing that will make you open the door for one woman and ignore the next? Please discuss and enlighten me. Thank you.

stevewynjones

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

Charlie003

It is a conditioned response passed down from father to sun. I guess it starts with hold the door for your monther. This then evolves to we on in general. It is now reflex.

Sion73

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

I second that

_JR_

So she's saying they just let the door go in her face? Sounds like most women I encounter when walking into or out of a business. :noway:

FTR- I hold the door for anyone within a few steps of reaching it. I consider it rude to let it go when they are about to reach it.

I_wanna_live

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

Said, better than I could

ConnieM20

i get the door held open for me occasionally, not as often as it should be. where are the gentlemen??

lukeevans85

I open the door for everyone who is within a few feet of me when I go inside somewhere.

smileitfeelsgreat

well i always ALWAYS open the door for women or for men!!!

When you are raised properly by your parents you will have respect for other people. So if you have the chance no matter male or female OPEN THE DOOR FOR THEM!!!!

Hellguy76137

Respect and courtesy. I think that it is a woman that LETS me open the door for her. Not me just doing it. If I didn't then my mom could pop out from hiding and smack me!!

LCSoulkat

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

I've always done that...just trying to be nice and I know it is appreciated...Courtesy goes a long ways.

m3dreamer2011

I open the door for anyone who happens to be near me - male, female or small pets.... To me it is just common courtesy and social decency

Jersey_Devil

i do it cause my momma taught me to do it.

bokodasu

I'm a woman, and I hold doors open for whoever's behind me. So do my daughters. (Ok, they have been known to shove each other out of the way to hold the door open for strangers, but one manner at a time, I guess.) It's just polite.

My guess? You don't have an expectation that men MUST hold the door open, so you notice it when they do and the once or twice they don't doesn't register. She believes that all doors must swing by male arms only, and so the outrage gland starts working when they don't. (And we all listen to our outrage gland more than any other organ. True fact.)

OlsenG318

Don't even have to think about it. Been doing it all my life. Will even hold it longer certain places like my apt. building if I see the person behind me has their hands full carrying kids/groceries/laundry/etc...

greenbox06

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

^^^This

cookn_mama

Personally I think it has to do with respecting your significant other. My guy always opens any door for me, car, house, business. I feel special and he loves doing it. It was really hard to get used to tho. Most guys I dated prior just walked ahead of me and entered the building. Hm. Looking back maybe it was that they had big egos. Anyway, I love my guy for treating me this way and more men need to open doors for women!

kevie1021

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

^^^This

^^^^ this for me too

fedupwithit

I was brought up that way. Not just to open the door for a woman. But if you are there first you open the door and hold it for all the others behind you. As a kid if I was seen not opening the door for someone I would get my rear end busted good to remind me to do it right the next time.

solarpower03

I and most people here, open door for others! I find not to do pretty rude.

DestroyTheOpposition

I do it all the time as well... although one time a feminazi wouldn't walk through the door. (awkward) Now if I get that vibe, I won't hold it.

ScottCadi

Yup.... always felt that whatever the climate (PC/weather/mood/whatever), it is something I can do for others that costs me nothing. If it makes someone's life easier/better/day, that is just icing on the cake.

I wonder if your friend just notices those who don't while not recognizing those who do.... you know. So many of us forget all the good things in a day and dwell on the 'not so good'?

TexasTroy

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

I second that

^^ yep, this.

MFPBrandy

Ah, the fine art of door-opening. Seriously, I don't know how some guys do it. I, of course, hold the door for anyone within a reasonable distance -- it's only polite. But those gentlemen that manage to walk along side a woman, yet always manouver themselves to reach the door first without any awkward shuffling...I love that. Unless, of course, it's only until we start dating. Start as you mean to carry on, I say!

This can get funny-awkward at work, though. In the military, who holds the door and who goes first is based on rank precedence, not gender. But some men have a really hard time with that, so are always getting the door for junior-ranking women, which usually results in an awkward shuffle as each is trying to manouver themselves to do what they think is right.

rrrufty

I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

This.

It is a conditioned response passed down from father to sun. I guess it starts with hold the door for your monther. This then evolves to we on in general. It is now reflex.

And this.

If its a guy, I'll hold it open for him as I'm walking through.

If its an elderly lady or man, I'll hold it open and wait for them to pass through first.

If its a young, capable woman/girl, it depends on her comportment.

Attractiveness has far less weight than demeanor in this particular scenario.

brjustice2000

For me, it is how my grandma raised me - have manners, hold the door for a lady, an elderly person, someone whose hands are full, a disabled person. Basically, it is the golden rule - treat others the way you wish to be treated.

When I'm carrying stuff and someone holds the door open for me, I always say thank you. This morning, going into the gym, I held the door open for my wife and continued to hold it open for a lady leaving who was carrying something in one hand and pulling a cart with the other hand. The lady went through the door with no acknowledgement or thank you, not even a nod. I thought what an attitude and lack of manners. Later on, I thought maybe she was upset and her mind was really else where. My grandma would call it walking in the other person's shoes.

Again, it is just good manners. Be thankful, in many countries the wives and children are nothing but servants. I hope the majority of us continue to have good manners.

j_courter

I'm a woman, and I hold doors open for whoever's behind me. So do my daughters. (Ok, they have been known to shove each other out of the way to hold the door open for strangers, but one manner at a time, I guess.) It's just polite.

My guess? You don't have an expectation that men MUST hold the door open, so you notice it when they do and the once or twice they don't doesn't register. She believes that all doors must swing by male arms only, and so the outrage gland starts working when they don't. (And we all listen to our outrage gland more than any other organ. True fact.)

outrage gland... lol.

MFPBrandy

I'm a woman, and I hold doors open for whoever's behind me. So do my daughters. (Ok, they have been known to shove each other out of the way to hold the door open for strangers, but one manner at a time, I guess.) It's just polite.

My guess? You don't have an expectation that men MUST hold the door open, so you notice it when they do and the once or twice they don't doesn't register. She believes that all doors must swing by male arms only, and so the outrage gland starts working when they don't. (And we all listen to our outrage gland more than any other organ. True fact.)

outrage gland... lol.

Or the flip side--I've never understood why some women get mad when men open the door. Of course, I also don't understand why some men get upset if you open anything yourself, either.

3foldchord

A- maybe they do hold the door and she doesn't notice, or maybe she is never close enough to the door for so eons to stand there and hold it till she gets there..... Do the let the door close in her face!?

B- maybe she has the look, air, of a lady that doesn't like it when men hold the door for her??

leftoverbun

I do the opposite. I hold the door shut tight, and if she can open it, she can have me.

mavrick7

These are courtesies that are slowly becoming part of the part, but I went to an all boys Catholic school and was taught to open doors, hold chairs for women and give up your seat on the bus for elderly and ladies.