Door Opening Men - a question for you

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Replies

  • tony1307
    tony1307 Posts: 127 Member
    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    ^^ exactly that ^^
  • bionicrooster
    bionicrooster Posts: 353 Member
    That's the way I was raised also. Always hold the door open for the ladys :-)
  • angelicarubi
    angelicarubi Posts: 148 Member
    Maybe if she looks like a b**** they ignore her because they know she wont appreciate the door being opened for her. IDK
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    To the men who open the doors when a lady is behind or in front of you.

    Why?

    What prompts you to open a door for a woman?

    My reasoning for asking is simple. I have never been in a situation where there was a man immediately before or behind me where I've actually had to touch the door myself. They always, always, always open the door for me. I'm so used to it I've never noticed it.

    However, a coworker of mine has been complaining that she has never met a man in this town who will open the door for her!

    So what's the difference? Why are guys ignoring her and tripping over themselves to open doors for me?

    It can't be appearance because she dresses better, she's skinnier and she's prettier (not being modest, this is just facts). So it's not as if I'm getting special treatment because of appearance. So what else could it be?

    What is this elusive thing that will make you open the door for one woman and ignore the next? Please discuss and enlighten me. :D Thank you.

    It is common here in the south to open the door for any gender to be honest. People open the door/ keep it open for me and i do the same.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    To the men who open the doors when a lady is behind or in front of you.

    Why?

    What prompts you to open a door for a woman?

    My reasoning for asking is simple. I have never been in a situation where there was a man immediately before or behind me where I've actually had to touch the door myself. They always, always, always open the door for me. I'm so used to it I've never noticed it.

    However, a coworker of mine has been complaining that she has never met a man in this town who will open the door for her!

    So what's the difference? Why are guys ignoring her and tripping over themselves to open doors for me?

    It can't be appearance because she dresses better, she's skinnier and she's prettier (not being modest, this is just facts). So it's not as if I'm getting special treatment because of appearance. So what else could it be?

    What is this elusive thing that will make you open the door for one woman and ignore the next? Please discuss and enlighten me. :D Thank you.

    It is common here in the south to open the door for any gender to be honest. People open the door/ keep it open for me and i do the same.

    this. :)
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    I would guess that she just must not be in that situation often. 95% of the time I see men holding the door open for people and I do the same regardless of gender/age.

    I see my boyfriend hold the door for literally anybody except in different ways.. if it's a man, he will hold it behind him so it won't slam in their face and if it's a woman or a child he opens it and waits until they enter first. I've never seen him discriminate against certain people..
  • Drussander
    Drussander Posts: 266 Member
    In NYC, people look at me suspiciously when I hold the door open for them, LOL. I grew up doing it, so I don't even think about it, but it's not that common here in the city. Sadly, some people don't even say "thank you" when I do it, which is the proper response when someone opens the door for you.
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
    Not a man, however, I hold doors open (took me YEARS to 'get over' being the door holder and walking behind people as it was a must as part of my job) and get doors held open for me. My favorite is the double door hold, where s/he holds the first set for me and I hold the second set for s/he or vice versa.

    I've also had people let doors shut in my face, mostly co-workers or customers...now that I find incredibly rude, since they *knew * was there, it had to have been deliberately.

    Most interesting to me is, in this part of the country I've had guys stand holding the door as I walk from my truck to the door, no matter how far away I might from said door. :smile:
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    So what's the difference? Why are guys ignoring her and tripping over themselves to open doors for me?

    They are holding the door open for her however she is a negative person focused only on the few times it didnt happen. If she smiled or said thanks it might happen more often also....just sayin
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    I do the opposite. I hold the door shut tight, and if she can open it, she can have me.
    thats great lol
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    It's called being well mannered. I do it for men and women. I'll wait or run to the get the door specially for the elderly.
  • hairdr77
    hairdr77 Posts: 2 Member
    I taught my boys, who are 21 now, to open doors for everybody. It is second nature now for them to open doors for others. Good manners start at home :)
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    Just need to add: if the previously mentioned"hot " woman was walking very slow while texting/stairing at her phone then NO I will not waste my time standing there looking foolish holding the door (married so I don't need to win any points from her)
  • conservativek
    conservativek Posts: 74 Member
    Guys, on behalf of a small population of women who still appreciate a true gentleman, I just gotta say... To those of you who have the gentleman's dignity to open the door for a lady... THANK YOU. It's a gesture of respect and protection towards us, and I, for one, appreciate it. I know that today's society teaches men that it's demeaning and unnecessary to open a door for a woman... but I cannot understand the feministic mindset of "You'd better not open that door for me, because I am an independent woman, and capable of opening it myself!" A kind gesture like holding the door for us shows us that you think we're worth something. If I am blessed with children, I will raise my sons to have this great character quality. ;)
  • jmc0806
    jmc0806 Posts: 1,444 Member
    I do it for anyone that's nearby...was taught that growing up so it's just habit.
  • Proyecto_AN
    Proyecto_AN Posts: 387
    Courtesy .
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
    I'll open the door for anyone and leave it open when I'm leaving a building. Just proper manners

    I will only give a seat(when I'm on the bus,) to an elder(or preggy, or injured, or impaired.)
  • jpcamden
    jpcamden Posts: 45 Member
    I hold the door for everyone. I don't hold it any longer for a pretty woman than I do for Joe Schmo. I'll hold it open if they're a little far away, I'm not usually in a crazy rush so a little niceness is worth it. Maybe they'll pass it on.

    I always attributed it to being raised in the South but from the looks of it, it's a global epidemic!
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    Interestingly enough to reiterate, I was on campus one time, and I was walking up to the dining area. This girl, don't know how old, was way out in front of me, she stopped opened the door and waited for me to come in.

    I was completely mind = blown at the scenario. (I usually rush up to the door if people do that)

    So I think a lot of it is location as well. Dem southerners like opening doors.
  • craigy_84
    craigy_84 Posts: 73 Member
    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    ^^^^ This
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    I do it for anyone that's nearby...was taught that growing up so it's just habit.

    I have noticed around here, if a guy holds the door for a guy, it's the "hold it behind them after they go through, till the other guy gets there" type, but if a guy holds the door for a lady,it is often the ' step aside, hold the door, let her through first" way of holding the door.
  • Grimlock69
    Grimlock69 Posts: 197
    I open a lot of doors for women. I'm a gentleman.
  • gbbhey
    gbbhey Posts: 188
    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    Absolutely. My father, and I admire him for this, started out by making me open the door for my mother. Now, it's a habit that I was raised with. I've made good friends with people I hold the door open for, smile at, or just a simple 'How are you?' If you're in such a hurry that you don't do these things for your neighbor, you can miss out on so much.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member

    My guess? You don't have an expectation that men MUST hold the door open, so you notice it when they do and the once or twice they don't doesn't register. She believes that all doors must swing by male arms only, and so the outrage gland starts working when they don't. (And we all listen to our outrage gland more than any other organ. True fact.)

    lol.. i wonder if that's it.. I never expect men to hold the door open for me and they always do.

    I always thank them too. Maybe your friend doesn't seem nice or appreciative.
  • Bawlzar
    Bawlzar Posts: 8
    I want the women to know where to go when we're done.
  • aryastark8
    aryastark8 Posts: 57 Member
    I have a question for men (I'm a woman). A couple of times when I opened doors for men, I felt they were annoyed/surprised. Do you feel bad when a woman opens a door for you? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? (I'm not talking about holding the door, which is just being polite).
  • jllove871
    jllove871 Posts: 84 Member
    well i always ALWAYS open the door for women or for men!!!

    When you are raised properly by your parents you will have respect for other people. So if you have the chance no matter male or female OPEN THE DOOR FOR THEM!!!!

    Absolutely, I have never had to open the door if a man is nearby and maybe only two or three times if a woman is nearby ( and thats only because for some reason they missed the courtesy lesson) And yes even as I female I too hold doors for ladies and gentleman, especially the elder ones and no I would not expect this courtesy strictly based on sex, my parents taught me properly to always be courteous and well mannered!
  • stinkpurty
    stinkpurty Posts: 148
    This reminds me of something my dad did once. Now he is very much the "Southern gentleman" which includes holding the door for not just women but everybody. Someone not saying "Thank you" really wouldn't bother him, but when someone is--how shall I say--"obnoxiously rude," it brings out the bit of redneck in him. He was holding the door open for a woman who was approaching the building we were entering. A few feet from the door, she tells him rather harshly that "She doesn't need him to hold the door for her." He says "Okay", walks in front of her, and stood in the doorway, so the door would shut in her face.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Guys, on behalf of a small population of women who still appreciate a true gentleman, I just gotta say... To those of you who have the gentleman's dignity to open the door for a lady... THANK YOU. It's a gesture of respect and protection towards us, and I, for one, appreciate it. I know that today's society teaches men that it's demeaning and unnecessary to open a door for a woman... but I cannot understand the feministic mindset of "You'd better not open that door for me, because I am an independent woman, and capable of opening it myself!" A kind gesture like holding the door for us shows us that you think we're worth something. If I am blessed with children, I will raise my sons to have this great character quality. ;)

    I agree. Thank you. :flowerforyou:
  • jllove871
    jllove871 Posts: 84 Member
    I'm a woman, and I hold doors open for whoever's behind me. So do my daughters. (Ok, they have been known to shove each other out of the way to hold the door open for strangers, but one manner at a time, I guess.) It's just polite.

    My guess? You don't have an expectation that men MUST hold the door open, so you notice it when they do and the once or twice they don't doesn't register. She believes that all doors must swing by male arms only, and so the outrage gland starts working when they don't. (And we all listen to our outrage gland more than any other organ. True fact.)

    I wish we could like comments because I soo like this!

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