Door Opening Men - a question for you

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  • pixtotts
    pixtotts Posts: 552 Member
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    i always hold doors for everyone and anyone :)
    I HATE people who dont say thankyou or even acknowledge me though :(
    x
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
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    My first husband was a door-opener and I got used to it so much so that when I began dating my 2nd husband and saw that he NEVER did it, I was actually put off by it. I called him rude and told him he had no manners (he's the type to actually rush into a doorway before women also). Since piping up about it I have effectively refused to open doors for myself while we're together in public and will literally just stand there in front of the unopened door until he catches on. He's gotten better about it now. :laugh:
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    I do it because I have no choice. My hand is sticky and it takes a while to release my grip on any door handle I touch.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    I don't understand why this is gender based. I'm a woman (obviously) and I hold the door for anyone within a reasonable distance. It's manners, dammit. Other people hold it for me sometimes as well. It's rare that a door is shut in my face.
    I'm a bit curious if door holding is as common on the East Coast, especially tri-state area. Seems to me that the general feeling there was much more of a "too busy for you" attitude. Although some folks out here near Boulder can get a bit pretentious at times, being overly friendly and polite is usually the norm. Missed that during our years on the east coast.
    I'm rambling, not enough coffee yet....
    Hold the door. It's nice.
  • Aello11
    Aello11 Posts: 312 Member
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    I always hold the door for anyone around me.... just raised that way. And I don't really expect acknowledgement - but does give you a good feeling when you get that nod of the head, smile or a hey thanks.
  • ewhsweets
    ewhsweets Posts: 167 Member
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    Agree...manners. And it goes both ways esp when saying OMG "thank you" when somebody, anybody holds a door for you.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
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    Isn't there a difference between opening a door and holding a door? Holding a door that you're already going through is just common courtesy, regardless of sex. I mean, your hand is already on it, just keep it there for a second.

    But I find that it's much rarer for someone to open the door for someone else, and it is largely a man doing it for a woman. To me, this is when someone goes out of their way to open the door and then stands aside holding it while you go through first. I'll open a door for someone who seems like they could use the help, like someone carrying an armful of stuff or someone on crutches (seriously people, it's damn near impossible to get through a door on crutches). Or I'll do it when I approach the door at the exact same time as someone else. I can recall a few times that a man did it for me for no particular reason, but I can probably count them on one hand; I'm wondering what planet the woman from the OP is living on where she expects it all the time.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    :smile: My boyfriend's father instilled manners.
  • RubyWare
    RubyWare Posts: 51 Member
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    I open doors if I'm closest and appreciate it when others hold the door for me. That being said I recently had an embarrassing situation regarding a door being held for me. Myself and my co-workers were heading back from lunch. A gentleman from the group in front of us was holding the door. One of my friends got held up at the guard station. I had already made eye contact, thanked him and was stepping back while looking over at my friend to check her progress. I assumed he passed on through as I reached for the door to keep it from closing. Unbeknowst to me he was still there and I grabbed a big handfull of his manly bits. I looked at my hand, still full of bits, and then looked at him and I think mumbled "I'm sooo sorry" or something along those lines ….. I'm not sure if he said anything, what with all the blood rushing to my face and hearing a rushing noise in my ears, but he did smile and nod to me as he just walked on his merry way.
  • jfcarlson713
    jfcarlson713 Posts: 108 Member
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    Don't quite get why this is guy/girl thing. I'm a 54 yr old female and always hold the door open for someone nearby. I also ALWAYS acknowledge and thank someone that opens/holds a door for me. Does your friend think this is an entitlement or does she see it as a curtesy? Does she open/hold doors for others?
  • cnsmith2
    cnsmith2 Posts: 539 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    This. I'm female and I open doors for people, and thank them kindly if they do so for me.
  • ewhsweets
    ewhsweets Posts: 167 Member
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    When I say holding a door, I refer to going out of your way to wait for somebody to walk through before you if you are ahead of them - or yes opening it for you.

    My husband still comes to my side to open my car door to open it for me. Very rare, and something his father instilled in him, and that the Marine Corps hammered into him...manners regardless of sex. When I have kids, it will be ma'am, and opening doors etc.

    And yes, younger females especially definately seem expect that EVERYBODY 'should' do things like hold/open doors etc.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
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    i was just raised to always open the door for a woman (and check her out subtly), however if i dont get a thank you or even a look i'll be tempted to shut it on you...stupid heavy doors that dont slam :grumble:
  • trijoe
    trijoe Posts: 729 Member
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    I do it for everybody. Men, women, old, young, black white brown, you name it. It's a simple easy way to be nice to somebody. And it surely seems to me one thing this world could use much more of, is people being nicer to other people. Naive? Simplistic? Possibly, I suppose. But that's not going to stop me. Pointless? Oh no. Not pointless at all. Kindness is a beautiful thing, whether I'm sharing it with somebody else, or somebody else is sharing it with me.
  • nachoheeledge
    nachoheeledge Posts: 8
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.

    I agree, I do the same :smile:
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
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    i would never date a guy who doesn't open doors. at some point in my life i started expecting from other people to open the door for me, for example when i'm shopping with my mom or friends i always wait for them to open the door. it's ok they don't get mad, they make fun of me and say things like "she forgot how to open doors" :)
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    I do this on a regular basis and it makes no difference if it's a lady or a man. If I'm coming out of a building or approaching a door I allways hold the door, or open it and wait if someone else is going that way.

    It's called manners and the result of good parenting.
    I second that

    ^^ yep, this.

    I will whole-hartedly agree with this.

    If I am in front of a woman, I will always hold the door for her, even if I have to wait a few seconds. If I am behind a stranger, I will make an attempt to get to the door before her, so I can open the door without needing to say something like "wait for me."

    If I am with a female friend/girlfriend, I will expect her to wait if I am behind her for me to open the door for her, even if it's a set of double-doors and she has to wait between the two. No woman should ever have to open a door if I am with her.

    All I expect in return is a smile and a "Thank you."

    Also, a woman should never hold a door open for me. It's just not right.

    Chivalry isn't dead as long as I'm living. Call me old-fashioned (I also expect the woman to wait for me to walk around the car and open the door for her) but that's just the way I am.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    i would never date a guy who doesn't open doors. at some point in my life i started expecting from other people to open the door for me, for example when i'm shopping with my mom or friends i always wait for them to open the door. it's ok they don't get mad, they make fun of me and say things like "she forgot how to open doors" :)

    Can I buy you dinner?
  • Philllbis
    Philllbis Posts: 801 Member
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    I do this because this was how I was brought up. I was also taught to stand when a lady enters a room. I work with many younger people and they think this is strange. Especially in meetings.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    Everyone should hold the door for everyone! If you don't, you suck. At least that's how it works here in Canada.

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