What do men want?
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have him do all the things in the house! If he does not like sports maybe he will like it when you are watching the sports0
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Well to me it sounds like you are trying to justify a possible separation/divorce. I guess you need to do some real soul searching to see if you want to save your marriage. If you do (which I strongly recommend) you need to express them to him and together start working on repairing your marriage. It's hard for both sides to admit mistakes, but in most cases both parties have to be honest and look at themselves as to why it isn't working.
I can't speak for every man, but by reading the replies most men really don't want a relationship, but a maid with benefits. Someone to clean the house, do the laundry, make meals and pleasure when needed.
A true relationship is each partner putting 100% towards their partner. Love is something that is misunderstood in today's world. Love is a selfless act towards another, not thinking that person is hot and being attracted to them. To make a relationship work each must want to do what is best for their partner. If that is the goal of each, you will find a great relationship.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not delusional and think this happens all the time. We are human, we all make mistakes and tend to be selfish at times. Being able to fix those mistakes and forgive is what will make the relationship work. Let's face it, we have all had fights and if you are in a healthy relationship you are able to get passed the disagreement. Plus making up is pretty fun too!
I can say that in the 14 years (this November) that I have been married to my wife I haven't always done this. I now have found that in doing this it makes something that is so special it is invaluable! I love my wife more than life and am so happy that I am married to her. I truly hope you can turn your relationship with your husband into this. Just remember what love is really about and work as hard as you can and you will find real happiness. Good luck!
THIS is perfect.0 -
I've been married two years so I've pretty much figured out what he wants.
He doesn't "get" hints and crazy woman emotions lol. If I vent, he thinks that I want him to do something about it.
He looooves feeling needed. Cannot stress this enough.
As for me, he loves when my hair is down, when I wear tight jeans and heels. He hates when I show too much cleavage in public, as do I, so it matches lol
He loves when I cook for him, and clean. But I do force him to help clean. But I don't make him clean up after our 4 month old puppy haha
He loves when I surprise him with little notes in his work lunches.
Massages.
Being quiet during his favorite shows lol. and I appreciate the same thing!
Just little things like these 0 -
I can't speak for every man, but by reading the replies most men really don't want a relationship, but a maid with benefits. Someone to clean the house, do the laundry, make meals and pleasure when needed.
This.0 -
Well to me it sounds like you are trying to justify a possible separation/divorce. I guess you need to do some real soul searching to see if you want to save your marriage. If you do (which I strongly recommend) you need to express them to him and together start working on repairing your marriage. It's hard for both sides to admit mistakes, but in most cases both parties have to be honest and look at themselves as to why it isn't working.
I can't speak for every man, but by reading the replies most men really don't want a relationship, but a maid with benefits. Someone to clean the house, do the laundry, make meals and pleasure when needed.
A true relationship is each partner putting 100% towards their partner. Love is something that is misunderstood in today's world. Love is a selfless act towards another, not thinking that person is hot and being attracted to them. To make a relationship work each must want to do what is best for their partner. If that is the goal of each, you will find a great relationship.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not delusional and think this happens all the time. We are human, we all make mistakes and tend to be selfish at times. Being able to fix those mistakes and forgive is what will make the relationship work. Let's face it, we have all had fights and if you are in a healthy relationship you are able to get passed the disagreement. Plus making up is pretty fun too!
I can say that in the 14 years (this November) that I have been married to my wife I haven't always done this. I now have found that in doing this it makes something that is so special it is invaluable! I love my wife more than life and am so happy that I am married to her. I truly hope you can turn your relationship with your husband into this. Just remember what love is really about and work as hard as you can and you will find real happiness. Good luck!
THIS is perfect.
This past year with my husband was really difficult. And divorce was definitely on the table. He screwed up. A lot. But I was still committed to my marriage vows. And I realized that even though he hurt me, it would hurt a million times more if I left him and was crying all the time, and then saw him get married to someone else and have some other girl's kids. Love is hard. If it was easy, it wouldn't mean anything. Best of luck!0 -
Ps : my mum was married for 18 years to my dad who sounds like a spitting image to your husband, but there's more to it then that - lets just say I've had no contact with him for two years, now she has a new boyfriend and she is so happy. I've never seen her without a smile on her face in the two years they have been together. Life is WAY too short to live without being happy every day.0
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Always looking sharp.
Smelling great.
Sex whenever he wants it.
Making dinner, all meals really, but dinner is important. and sammich's whenever he needs one
And, dont talk when sports are on tv.
and, keep the house clean.
I mean, that's it. you do those things, and he'll be the happiest man on earth.
^^^This!!!
I'll just add: If children are in the picture, stay home and raise them. Don't hand them off to someone else to do all the dirty work. If you raise them right, they'll turn out to be good adults.
That's all a woman ever needs to do to keep her man happy. The men can do the rest.
So you're saying the woman shouldn't work?
Yes.
A little behind the times much?
^ Nah, not a little. A lot. Unfortunately misogynistic views like this are common.
I would looooove to be able to not work!! That would be amazing. But I'm a full time employee and student! And I have a lazy husband so I have to do most of the housework. lol0 -
I'll answer for my husband because I think I have the guy figured out by now.
He LOVES having a housewife. I'm happy to be a housewife. I'm going to take up some side work shortly but it's because I want to and of course he's fine with that. But he loves having me home to take care of the kids, and run the house. He likes just being able to come home and decompress when he gets off of work and I'm happy to enable that. I have a hot dinner on the table for him and I make sure the house looks nice, the kids are fed/bathed, etc. We're a little bit June and Ward but we do share kid/house duty on the weekends. During the work week though? You do your job and I'll do mine and we'll meet in the bedroom later. Does this work for everyone? NO!! I get that people think it's "behind the times" but to me, it's really not. And I would absolutely not be ok with our lives if I wasn't treated very, very well by my husband, and I am. VERY. I treat him the way he treats me, which is sweet and respectful. That is so important. You can't please a man that doesn't please you, and no, I am not just talking about sex.
But that's what *my* man wants, and has, and loves. I know that everyone is different but I don't think, in general, men are overly complicated. Good food, good times, a lot of respect, good laughs and great sex.0 -
Personally I blame Sex in the City for portraying MEN as emotional objects
Yes, We are that shallow, no we don;t care it your friends kid is turning two and they are having a party on sunday at 2, and the game is on.
I love when woman say "oh, hes so deep and quiet" "He's real dark". We ain;t sitting there thinking about emotions and feelings, we are sitting there thinking "how the f**k do I get her to shut the f**k up and blow me"
Oh this made me LOL. HA.
Alright, this is what I get for not reading the thread, just the OP. I'm sorry, OP. It sounds like the water runs a lot deeper than you just trying to make your husband happy. Girl, he has to make you happy for you to make him happy. Otherwise your paddle against the current in the Bitter River.0 -
Well to me it sounds like you are trying to justify a possible separation/divorce. I guess you need to do some real soul searching to see if you want to save your marriage. If you do (which I strongly recommend) you need to express them to him and together start working on repairing your marriage. It's hard for both sides to admit mistakes, but in most cases both parties have to be honest and look at themselves as to why it isn't working.
I can't speak for every man, but by reading the replies most men really don't want a relationship, but a maid with benefits. Someone to clean the house, do the laundry, make meals and pleasure when needed.
A true relationship is each partner putting 100% towards their partner. Love is something that is misunderstood in today's world. Love is a selfless act towards another, not thinking that person is hot and being attracted to them. To make a relationship work each must want to do what is best for their partner. If that is the goal of each, you will find a great relationship.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not delusional and think this happens all the time. We are human, we all make mistakes and tend to be selfish at times. Being able to fix those mistakes and forgive is what will make the relationship work. Let's face it, we have all had fights and if you are in a healthy relationship you are able to get passed the disagreement. Plus making up is pretty fun too!
I can say that in the 14 years (this November) that I have been married to my wife I haven't always done this. I now have found that in doing this it makes something that is so special it is invaluable! I love my wife more than life and am so happy that I am married to her. I truly hope you can turn your relationship with your husband into this. Just remember what love is really about and work as hard as you can and you will find real happiness. Good luck!
Most of the answers are a tad in jest. Also by a lot of single men, not all by married men. Married men are not quite as ridiculous usually. Though they still love the old fashion rolls generally, married men learn to respect their women as a person and will respect her choice if it makes sense for them as a couple, family, or to her happiness. Men do want sex, but there are men in sexless marriages or rare sex ones that still love their wife, I've met a few couples that way. True there could be more beneath the surface, not everyone you know openly admits to having issues. I personally think its worth taking time to keep that part of them happy, as my husband makes me by taking me out on a date or buying me a purse. We just want each other happy. I think op you're worried he is not happy with your appearance cause you are not. Men (married) want the woman to be happy, they love it when you're smiling, laughing. True taking a little care in your appearance by not rolling out of bed living in pjs can help, but if he married you, it was because he loved you for who you were. Just be you, be a happier you. And treat each other with RESPECT AND CARE that's the key to a happy marriage. 0 -
Personally, as a man, I would like a partner in all things,but also one who apreciates the things that I do for them. One who splits the chores and actually does their share, one who helps to take care of the kids and doesn't just dump them and leave when she gets stressed. One who doesn't nag but rather talks about what is going on so a solution can be found and followed. One who doesn't see free time with friends as being lazy-even if it is. One who doesn't really mind that I blew up a small side and roof of the barn with one of my experiments (oops). One who doesn't sit around and watch that lifetime crap when there are much better things to do in life outside. One who appreciates and recriprocates. And yes, one who thinks that sex actually happens more than several times a year and will even initiate it once and awhile. In short, one who has my back as I have hers. I always say, "It's you and me against the world... when do we attack?"
From your post, this isn't happening. However, have you talked to him? Men aren't mind readers. We don't take 'hints'. Have you told him hey, I want you to do X,Y,Z for me? Hell, we rarely even listen to complaining for more than a minute before we tune out. Same goes with emotional stuff, most of us have NO IDEA why that should bother you and if it does, why you don't want to change it v.s. complain about it. If we have had a hard day then no, we don't want to be pestered before we have time to relax.
Oh, and the ones who said that you should get some interests outside of him and the family are spot on; ends up being better for both parties if new ideas/experiences are brought to the discussion once and a while. Not only will it make you happier, it will make you healthier. The same conversation can only be repeated a few dozen times before it just becomes monotonous, even if paraphrased differently.
GRRRR! Edited because I am too cheap to buy a new keyboard and my kids have spilled soda on this one. I MAY have fixed all the errors, but perhaps no.
Yeah I did all that and more. Not saying I was perfect but I did my best to treat him like a king only to be ignored. Sometimes it just isn't going to work and you have to move on. He regrets not appreciating my efforts now, but it's too late. You can only survive being low on the priority list for so long especially when there are others out there that are happy to reciprocate.0 -
The vast majority of men do not want high maintenance ladies.
Ladies, if you're going to insist on being high maintenance, you should be prepared to justify it. He's going to need a lot of convincing to believe it's worth the effort.
You know what I mean....
ummm you think that we just wake up in the morning and look so fabulous?
i never get it when guys who go for women who obviously put in a lot of effort, then say this! if low-maintenance is what you want then go for the girl in sweats and a t-shirt who's happy with no make up and nevr does her hair.
i take pride in how i look, not FOR YOU, but because i want to look my best every damn day!
That's not really what I meant by "maintenance".
Think of it from the man's perspective - and I don't mean for that to come off as jerkish, I'm just trying to explain the context of my comment. I don't really care how much time she spends putting herself together as long as she doesn't need me to stand there and watch or help. When I am forced to watch or help, or made to feel like a jerk because I didn't watch or help, that's maintenance.
By maintenance, I was referring to things such as (but not limited to):
-Peppering the man with loaded or rhetorical questions, demanding answers, and getting upset when the answers are incorrect. This is a personal pet peeve of mine - I am not interested in navigating "traps" in relationships, and hence I married a woman that does not play those kinds of games (most of the time).
-Requiring the man to drive a certain level of car, wear a certain level of clothing, buy an exorbitant amount of "just because" gifts, etc.
-Requiring the man to always address her with a level of "schmoopiness" or deference, anytime there is a conversation to be had (I know couples like this, and it is painful to listen to them).
-Requiring the man to accompany her to many, many events that he despises. Occasional trips to the opera are one thing, but IMO relationships work much better when each person pursues their own interests and if they don't share a particular interest, they don't spend a ton of time trying to force it. Along the same lines, a woman who hates baseball cannot be expected to watch every game with her man. Etc.
-Requiring the man to buy/pay for large amounts of vanity items such as shoes, purses, dresses, jewelry, perfumes, etc. Again, it's one thing to look nice and it's good to occasionally buy your SO things that make them look and feel nice. I'm referring to the sorts of women that need entire walk-in closets for their shoes.
In short, if the woman is going to require the man to put her up on a pedestal like that in order to keep her happy, it's only fair that she should be a sport when it comes to keeping him happy. That's all I was getting at.0 -
I can't speak for every man, but by reading the replies most men really don't want a relationship, but a maid with benefits. Someone to clean the house, do the laundry, make meals and pleasure when needed.
This.
I'm a cook by trade so I can make my own meals0 -
More Oral.
This seems to be a widespread problem.
Ladies, just suck a d more often...literally. Christ!
Hallelujah........tell it like it is sister
I totally gave the best answer! Lol0 -
The vast majority of men do not want high maintenance ladies.
Ladies, if you're going to insist on being high maintenance, you should be prepared to justify it. He's going to need a lot of convincing to believe it's worth the effort.
You know what I mean....
ummm you think that we just wake up in the morning and look so fabulous?
i never get it when guys who go for women who obviously put in a lot of effort, then say this! if low-maintenance is what you want then go for the girl in sweats and a t-shirt who's happy with no make up and nevr does her hair.
i take pride in how i look, not FOR YOU, but because i want to look my best every damn day!
That's not really what I meant by "maintenance".
Think of it from the man's perspective - and I don't mean for that to come off as jerkish, I'm just trying to explain the context of my comment. I don't really care how much time she spends putting herself together as long as she doesn't need me to stand there and watch or help. When I am forced to watch or help, or made to feel like a jerk because I didn't watch or help, that's maintenance.
By maintenance, I was referring to things such as (but not limited to):
-Peppering the man with loaded or rhetorical questions, demanding answers, and getting upset when the answers are incorrect. This is a personal pet peeve of mine - I am not interested in navigating "traps" in relationships, and hence I married a woman that does not play those kinds of games (most of the time).
-Requiring the man to drive a certain level of car, wear a certain level of clothing, buy an exorbitant amount of "just because" gifts, etc.
-Requiring the man to always address her with a level of "schmoopiness" or deference, anytime there is a conversation to be had (I know couples like this, and it is painful to listen to them).
-Requiring the man to accompany her to many, many events that he despises. Occasional trips to the opera are one thing, but IMO relationships work much better when each person pursues their own interests and if they don't share a particular interest, they don't spend a ton of time trying to force it. Along the same lines, a woman who hates baseball cannot be expected to watch every game with her man. Etc.
-Requiring the man to buy/pay for large amounts of vanity items such as shoes, purses, dresses, jewelry, perfumes, etc. Again, it's one thing to look nice and it's good to occasionally buy your SO things that make them look and feel nice. I'm referring to the sorts of women that need entire walk-in closets for their shoes.
In short, if the woman is going to require the man to put her up on a pedestal like that in order to keep her happy, it's only fair that she should be a sport when it comes to keeping him happy. That's all I was getting at.
Oh god that made me laugh, You just described my sister to a T and then she spends hours on the phone to me wondering why her guys get fed up with her!0 -
more to life than sex... you can be an adult..but have the curiosity and wonder of a younger woman. not so serious not in to all the games. just relax have fun... do fun silly things, be playfull, something along that line..0
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So to summarise -
Sandwich
Bacon
Jalapenos
lots of Oral
Sounds like heaven :smokin:
Thanks for the cliff notes, that's a long *kitten* thread!0 -
Is this a trick question? Sex, food, and sleep, probably in that order.0
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All this advice is worthless, unless one of those responding was your man.
Not all men are the same, so getting advice from another man isn't normally going to help in your relationship. Neither is getting advice from another woman. For example - more oral is not necessarily what he wants. Sex (no matter how good it is) does not equate to love.
You have to communicate with your man to know what your man wants. Unfortunately, some men aren't very good at communicating. But then, some women are not, either.
There are some men that are looking for more than a maid, cook, and concubine. I love the fact that my wife cleans, cooks, and shares a bed with me, but that's not why I love my wife. She does that because she loves me, not because she thinks it makes me love her.
Be his friend. Stand by him. Support him in what he does. Show appreciation for what he does for you. Don't fuss or nag about what he doesn't do. Let him know that you love him by how you act toward him.
Figure out what his "love language" is, without asking him. If you don't know what that means, read the book "Five Love Languages", and use it as a guide to determine what your man's love language is. Then practice it - constantly, but keep in mind, your man might have more than one, or a mixture of them.
There's no magic bullet. A good relationship requires a lot of effort, but when you truly love the other person, that isn't a bad thing. There is nothing better than knowing you've done something that helped or pleased the one you love.0 -
You know, I think maybe subconsciously I started this topic to find ways to make sure he's happy AND get his attention. But I'm so tired of trying.
Maybe you should talk to him about how you're feeling??
I've tried, doesn't ever make a difference.
Then maybe it's time for counseling.
My husband is one of those men that never thinks he needs help, especially from any type of doctor.
I'm sorry to say, but that is most men. Unless bone is protruding or an organ has ruptured, we will try to act like it's nothing. Seriously... my ex and I were outside "having fun" and my knee was in precarious spot that I didnt notic until my knee cap was on the left side of its normal position. I hollared, grabbed it and put it back into place, then tried to get back on...but she was too grossed out to continue.
As for what men want, in all honesty, it's too vague and each man is different, sometimes so much so that we want opposite things. I will say in general, Men want to feel like they are protecting and taking care of you. Whether that be grabbing something off the top shelf in the cupboard, fixing the sink, or doing the yard work that you hate. Show an interest in what he likes, even if you don't participate - but don't roll your eyes and scoff at it. Last, understand that most men don't want you to force them to talk out their emotions...we get pissed about emotions. We'll share 'em when we want, but otherwise they are buried and forgotten.
I have a tendency to take care of things at home. EVERYTHING. I fix toilets, the water heater, if I can't reach something, I climb on the counter. And I have learned tricks to open everything. I do all of the yard work, and can change the oil in my truck. You think maybe he believes I only need him financially? Could me being completely self-reliant at home be a turn off?
That's cool that you WANT to take care of that stuff, but if something so simple as asking him for help doing it will save your marriage, I think you should choose to play dumb every once in a while, let him fix the toilet, then praise him for being so manly and helpful with a nice blow job. I'm a chick, I'm being totally serious. All the guys are here are telling you blow jobs. Let him be a man, it's easy, I'm in a great relationship and there's plenty or oral going BOTH ways over here.
and if that doesn't work, sorry sister, this isn't the dude for you. There's other fish in the sea, the best way to get over a guy is to get under another, or any other commonly used line to help you move on. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with you... Maybe he needs space. Sometimes I MAKE mine go out to play pool with his friends. Plus, it's not all about you pleasing him.. Does he try whatsoever? ... Also, yeah, don't start off with wanting to talk about feelings.. Have you tried this... Give him dinner, then say... Excuse me, I NEED SOME ATTENTION. What if he just says... Oh, ok! Don't beat around the bush with feelings or excuses. Be blunt and straight up, don't waste time. 0
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