What do men want?

jerbear1962

It took my wife many years but I enjoy that she finally caught on to what I like. I enjoy cars, movies, football, anything with a wolf, bear or eagle on it, cologne, anything to do with my pets. For years she would buy me gifts that had nothing to do with what interested me. So take an interest in what I like is important to me, take time to listen to what I have to say, be there for me.

Skinny_minny_mo

So are all of yall tryin' to say that men don't need anything emotionally?

emotionally its more like insurance we need it when something happens, most men are just happy to have a woman

So why do men ever leave their mothers?

because BJ's from mom are usually a no no

depends which end of town you come from...

jus sayin'!

TaylorsGranddad

Okay, I realize I'm probably going to get some smarta** remarks, but I am really curious what men want from their wives or significant other. As a woman, I am always looking for ways to surprise my husband or to please him more. You know, things like......um.........do men like their wives to look their best everyday? That kinda thing.

I've recently split up from my wife & I only ever wanted back as much as I gave her, no more or less.

_JR_

Oh God, not again.

If its so very hard to make a man happy, he is not the man for you. Just break up:)

I know. It's like a daily nightmare seeing these threads. :noway:

edge_dragoncaller

You know, I think maybe subconsciously I started this topic to find ways to make sure he's happy AND get his attention. But I'm so tired of trying.

Maybe you should talk to him about how you're feeling??

I've tried, doesn't ever make a difference.

Then maybe it's time for counseling.

My husband is one of those men that never thinks he needs help, especially from any type of doctor.

I'm sorry to say, but that is most men. Unless bone is protruding or an organ has ruptured, we will try to act like it's nothing. Seriously... my ex and I were outside "having fun" and my knee was in precarious spot that I didnt notic until my knee cap was on the left side of its normal position. I hollared, grabbed it and put it back into place, then tried to get back on...but she was too grossed out to continue.

As for what men want, in all honesty, it's too vague and each man is different, sometimes so much so that we want opposite things. I will say in general, Men want to feel like they are protecting and taking care of you. Whether that be grabbing something off the top shelf in the cupboard, fixing the sink, or doing the yard work that you hate. Show an interest in what he likes, even if you don't participate - but don't roll your eyes and scoff at it. Last, understand that most men don't want you to force them to talk out their emotions...we get pissed about emotions. We'll share 'em when we want, but otherwise they are buried and forgotten.

azzkikin

Only two things needed. If he does not have boner, get in the kitchen and make a sammich. PB&J please. kkty.

MySunshine76

You know, I think maybe subconsciously I started this topic to find ways to make sure he's happy AND get his attention. But I'm so tired of trying.

Maybe you should talk to him about how you're feeling??

I've tried, doesn't ever make a difference.

Then maybe it's time for counseling.

My husband is one of those men that never thinks he needs help, especially from any type of doctor.

Seems that with every single bit of advice you're being given, you immediately counter with a reason why it won't work or why it doesn't apply to you. Makes it very difficult.

Yeah, I realize that. I apologize. My husband is a very difficult man. He goes to work, comes home, eats supper, watches TV, then goes to bed, 6 sometimes 7 days a week. I really do try to be understanding, I know working that much has to tiring, but I'm still here. I still need attention too. I'm just not real sure what to do. Maybe, just pray that it gets better.

belladonna786

So are all of yall tryin' to say that men don't need anything emotionally?

emotionally its more like insurance we need it when something happens, most men are just happy to have a woman

So why do men ever leave their mothers?

because BJ's from mom are usually a no no

depends which end of town you come from...

jus sayin'!

:laugh: :laugh: Ew.

magj0y

Always looking sharp.
Smelling great.
Sex whenever he wants it.
Making dinner, all meals really, but dinner is important. and sammich's whenever he needs one
And, dont talk when sports are on tv.
and, keep the house clean.

I mean, that's it. you do those things, and he'll be the happiest man on earth.

You make it sound like it's the easiest of tasks!

paul7799

So are all of yall tryin' to say that men don't need anything emotionally?

emotionally its more like insurance we need it when something happens, most men are just happy to have a woman

So why do men ever leave their mothers?

Because society says we "have" too. I recall a guy i knew in college who said he wanted someone who made it so he "didn't have to think, bought all the food, made it for him, and did his laundry." I told him, "Dude, you want a Mom." I did use the word "dude" but I was in college at the time. Which I think is better than "Broheim"

But to answer your first question it is hard to say, harder than ever before. It varies from guy to guy and the old gender roles and stereotypes are blurred-your love of sports over his for example.

I really just want someone intelligent and kind that does NOT want to be my mother. I guess more of a partner in crime sort of thing and accepts that I DON'T want kids. That weird kind of Bonnie and Clyde love without the murder and confused sexuality, oh and lack of death in a hail of lead from angry posse.

Other than kind: articulate communication, emotional support, affection, wants to show me her own interests and like to share mine, faithful, and not a legion of Exes she invites into our life to cause bull****.

MySunshine76

You know, I think maybe subconsciously I started this topic to find ways to make sure he's happy AND get his attention. But I'm so tired of trying.

Maybe you should talk to him about how you're feeling??

I've tried, doesn't ever make a difference.

Then maybe it's time for counseling.

My husband is one of those men that never thinks he needs help, especially from any type of doctor.

I'm sorry to say, but that is most men. Unless bone is protruding or an organ has ruptured, we will try to act like it's nothing. Seriously... my ex and I were outside "having fun" and my knee was in precarious spot that I didnt notic until my knee cap was on the left side of its normal position. I hollared, grabbed it and put it back into place, then tried to get back on...but she was too grossed out to continue.

As for what men want, in all honesty, it's too vague and each man is different, sometimes so much so that we want opposite things. I will say in general, Men want to feel like they are protecting and taking care of you. Whether that be grabbing something off the top shelf in the cupboard, fixing the sink, or doing the yard work that you hate. Show an interest in what he likes, even if you don't participate - but don't roll your eyes and scoff at it. Last, understand that most men don't want you to force them to talk out their emotions...we get pissed about emotions. We'll share 'em when we want, but otherwise they are buried and forgotten.

I have a tendency to take care of things at home. EVERYTHING. I fix toilets, the water heater, if I can't reach something, I climb on the counter. And I have learned tricks to open everything. I do all of the yard work, and can change the oil in my truck. You think maybe he believes I only need him financially? Could me being completely self-reliant at home be a turn off?

thebigcb

Personally I blame Sex in the City for portraying MEN as emotional objects

Yes, We are that shallow, no we don;t care it your friends kid is turning two and they are having a party on sunday at 2, and the game is on.

I love when woman say "oh, hes so deep and quiet" "He's real dark". We ain;t sitting there thinking about emotions and feelings, we are sitting there thinking "how the f**k do I get her to shut the f**k up and blow me"

MySunshine76

Personally I blame Sex in the City for portraying MEN as emotional objects

Yes, We are that shallow, no we don;t care it your friends kid is turning two and they are having a party on sunday at 2, and the game is on.

I love when woman say "oh, hes so deep and quiet" "He's real dark". We ain;t sitting there thinking about emotions and feelings, we are sitting there thinking "how the f**k do I get her to shut the f**k up and blow me"

I understand that, and don't have a problem with it. I normally don't delve into emotions with him. It's just lately I feel like *kitten*. You know, the whole unwanted, undesirable thing.

thebigcb

ah, sorry. I hear you now.

edge_dragoncaller

As for what men want, in all honesty, it's too vague and each man is different, sometimes so much so that we want opposite things. I will say in general, Men want to feel like they are protecting and taking care of you. Whether that be grabbing something off the top shelf in the cupboard, fixing the sink, or doing the yard work that you hate. Show an interest in what he likes, even if you don't participate - but don't roll your eyes and scoff at it. Last, understand that most men don't want you to force them to talk out their emotions...we get pissed about emotions. We'll share 'em when we want, but otherwise they are buried and forgotten.

I have a tendency to take care of things at home. EVERYTHING. I fix toilets, the water heater, if I can't reach something, I climb on the counter. And I have learned tricks to open everything. I do all of the yard work, and can change the oil in my truck. You think maybe he believes I only need him financially? Could me being completely self-reliant at home be a turn off?

Honestly, it's possible. You have a problem there...if he knows you are already so self-reliant it will be a task to find something for him to do for you, that won't seem like you're just being lazy. No guys that works hard wants to come home to a wife that wants him to turn around and go fill up the tank of her car....that'll just piss him off.

You said that he works alot, right? How much is alot. Maybe what he needs is someone to take care of him even though he'll never admit it. ( that would be showing weakness and bring about emotions...emotions are evil and must be destroyed ). Try something like getting him to take a long hot bath/shower with you and you clean him...but don't make it into a sex thing. Just let him relax.

corn63

You know, I think maybe subconsciously I started this topic to find ways to make sure he's happy AND get his attention. But I'm so tired of trying.

Maybe you should talk to him about how you're feeling??

I've tried, doesn't ever make a difference.

Then maybe it's time for counseling.

My husband is one of those men that never thinks he needs help, especially from any type of doctor.

I'm sorry to say, but that is most men. Unless bone is protruding or an organ has ruptured, we will try to act like it's nothing. Seriously... my ex and I were outside "having fun" and my knee was in precarious spot that I didnt notic until my knee cap was on the left side of its normal position. I hollared, grabbed it and put it back into place, then tried to get back on...but she was too grossed out to continue.

As for what men want, in all honesty, it's too vague and each man is different, sometimes so much so that we want opposite things. I will say in general, Men want to feel like they are protecting and taking care of you. Whether that be grabbing something off the top shelf in the cupboard, fixing the sink, or doing the yard work that you hate. Show an interest in what he likes, even if you don't participate - but don't roll your eyes and scoff at it. Last, understand that most men don't want you to force them to talk out their emotions...we get pissed about emotions. We'll share 'em when we want, but otherwise they are buried and forgotten.

I have a tendency to take care of things at home. EVERYTHING. I fix toilets, the water heater, if I can't reach something, I climb on the counter. And I have learned tricks to open everything. I do all of the yard work, and can change the oil in my truck. You think maybe he believes I only need him financially? Could me being completely self-reliant at home be a turn off?

Men like to feel wanted. They like to feel like they're doing good. I'll occasionally not be able to reach something and sure, I can climb on the counter or I can say "Puuuuuumpkin... I need x from the top shelf please" Bat some eyelashes, call him my big strong giant and all is well in his world. Some food that he likes, some slap and tickle and boom. All is right in the world.

BeeElMarvin

Personally I blame Sex in the City for portraying MEN as emotional objects

Yes, We are that shallow, no we don;t care it your friends kid is turning two and they are having a party on sunday at 2, and the game is on.

I love when woman say "oh, hes so deep and quiet" "He's real dark". We ain;t sitting there thinking about emotions and feelings, we are sitting there thinking "how the f**k do I get her to shut the f**k up and blow me"

Pull it out and give her a mushroom stamp. Easy.

megalin9

You know, I think maybe subconsciously I started this topic to find ways to make sure he's happy AND get his attention. But I'm so tired of trying.

Maybe you should talk to him about how you're feeling??

I've tried, doesn't ever make a difference.

Then maybe it's time for counseling.

My husband is one of those men that never thinks he needs help, especially from any type of doctor.

Seems that with every single bit of advice you're being given, you immediately counter with a reason why it won't work or why it doesn't apply to you. Makes it very difficult.

You don't know her husband. You don't know what she's tried. She has admitted that she's pretty much tried everything for his attention. Unless you're in or have been in a similar situation in the past (raises hand), then you wouldn't know what she's experiencing and shouldn't comment on how she's just not listening to advice. Men aren't all the same. They don't all treat their wives with love and admiration. A lot of men take their wives for granted. Once they marry them, they stop trying, and they won't put in any effort to make the relationship better, no matter what you do. So although I'm sure she appreciates all the advice she's been given, she's more than likely already tried it. Been there, done that.

Jonesie86

[/quote]

Yeah, I realize that. I apologize. My husband is a very difficult man. He goes to work, comes home, eats supper, watches TV, then goes to bed, 6 sometimes 7 days a week. I really do try to be understanding, I know working that much has to tiring, but I'm still here. I still need attention too. I'm just not real sure what to do. Maybe, just pray that it gets better.
[/quote]

Well I'd offer some wordly advice saying how love will prevail, get his attention like this, do this and that for him but I've been down that road. Did all things husband related to please him, nothing changed. So I said FU*K this *kitten*, you're not worth my time. I said til death do us part - not we get married and then you make me wanna plot your murder cause you're a frickin jerkoff.

You shouldn't have to go out of your way to keep him happy, and vis versa. It's about equality, mutual respect and understanding for each other and never losing sight of why you married him, and him never losing sight of why he married you. It may be time to move on sad as that is. If he doesn't show you the respect and love and give you the time you deserve, then "sandwichs, sports, sex, beer, food, giving him boy time" just lowers you to college girlfriend status and you're better than that.

jrbb03092

And maybe you need to go to counselling on your own, if he won't go with you...

I know people are fond of saying that a marriage is work and it is in terms of not taking each other for granted, but honestly, it should be easier than what you're describing. My husband and I have been together for 22 years and married for almost 17 and we just make each other happy.

We laugh a lot, share the household chores (not equally because I'm a SAHM but he does help out), parent together, love travelling, love reading, hiking, action/horror movies (I can't stand chick flicks and I write science fiction) and we're always affectionate (hugs, holding hands, kissing, sitting together on the couch) even when it's not leading to sex. I have lots of friends but he's my BEST friend and I know I can count on him.

All of that said, he can't be my world. I have to feel good about myself in order to feel good with him. As happy as he makes me, he can't be the /source/ of my happiness.

So... my advice would be to see a counsellor on your own and start finding ways of feeling good about yourself that don't involve your husband's validation. You will either grow happier with him as a result or you might decide you need to go your separate ways. Either way, take care of yourself first.