What do men want?

fleur_de_lis19

Food, Sex, and not to be bothered.. or so ive learned. (this sound like exactly like what i want, huh)

iluvprettyshoes

Went through that for 12 years with my hubs. Got tired of being hurt from being ignored & disrespected and I emotionally detached from him. We are separated now. And now he magically starts giving me attention, wanting to be with me. Too late I'm afraid as I'm already moving on.

Hope things work out better for you. Maybe detaching from him a bit will wake him up.

Jonesie86

Went through that for 12 years with my hubs. Got tired of being hurt from being ignored & disrespected and I emotionally detached from him. We are separated now. And now he magically starts giving me attention, wanting to be with me. Too late I'm afraid as I'm already moving on.

Hope things work out better for you. Maybe detaching from him a bit will wake him up.

Isn't it amazing how that works??? I'm in the same boat except there's no going back for me, I'm over him. But yes, suddenly the sun rises and sets with me in his eyes....idiot.

Phaedra2014

Okay, I realize I'm probably going to get some smarta** remarks, but I am really curious what men want from their wives or significant other. As a woman, I am always looking for ways to surprise my husband or to please him more. You know, things like......um.........do men like their wives to look their best everyday? That kinda thing.

I'm not a man but I think most men (unless they have a savior complex) do not enjoy needy women. I know I don't like being with a needy partner.

aaa5810

Men want the same thing women want without all the bull**** behind it.
Think like him, and you'll have your answer.

still_crafty

While he is watching the game you walk in without making a sound, hand him a beer, unzip his pants, pleasure him (while making sure not to block the TV) and then walk away.

^this is ideally how a Sunday afternoon would go in my house . . . as long as he returned the favor later while I was watching (insert some TV show chicks like to watch) :happy:

chivalryder

Always looking sharp.
Smelling great.
Sex whenever he wants it.
Making dinner, all meals really, but dinner is important. and sammich's whenever he needs one
And, dont talk when sports are on tv.
and, keep the house clean.

I mean, that's it. you do those things, and he'll be the happiest man on earth.

^^^This!!!

I'll just add: If children are in the picture, stay home and raise them. Don't hand them off to someone else to do all the dirty work. If you raise them right, they'll turn out to be good adults.

That's all a woman ever needs to do to keep her man happy. The men can do the rest.

_Wits_

Less hassles and more oral.

Its a scale, mid point equilibrium that you should all be working towards

Funny...that's what I want from my spouse too.

micahnelson

Your spouse wants respect, appreciation, and reasons to respect and appreciate you.

Juliejustsaying

So are all of yall tryin' to say that men don't need anything emotionally?

emotionally its more like insurance we need it when something happens, most men are just happy to have a woman

So why do men ever leave their mothers?

because BJ's from mom are usually a no no

ahahahahahahahhaahahahhahahaahah

serena569

I posted this a few weeks ago in a different topic.

1. They have the need to work and achieve. When men meet each other for the first time, one of the very first questions asked is “What do you do?”

2. They have the need to protect and to provide for their wife/girlfriend and their children. I believe that includes buying dinner. (On the other side of the coin, the woman has the obligation to behave in a respectful manner by not taking advantage of this desire.)

3. They have the need to lead. This includes leading their families toward common goals.

4. They have the need to analyze and counsel. Vent to most men and you will likely get a solution.

5. They need friendship from the woman in their life – preferably the blood brother type of friendship from their childhood. When he asks you to watch the game with him, it’s not for a chatting session. It is simply to have you there. The very lucky man in my life once asked me to paint storm windows with him. He didn't want me to help paint his windows. He just wanted me there to be there.

6. They also have the need for sex. Plain and simple. It doesn’t have to be a marathon session. Sometimes a quickie is just fine - and you CAN do that with a headache!

.

WEB3

http://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Desires-Desperately-Needs/dp/1591451876

Show your husband respect on a daily basis with your words, actions and love for him.
Men respond with love when they feel needed, wanted, respected by their wife.

serena569

http://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Desires-Desperately-Needs/dp/1591451876

Show your husband respect on a daily basis with your words, actions and love for him.
Men respond with love when they feel needed, wanted, respected by their wife.

Exactly the book my post above was paraphrased from. Once I got past all the religious parts of it, it was very enlightening.

Puggy33

If your relationship is at the point where your stressing badly enough to post about it on MFP, you either need to tell him to get lost and find someone that fits your needs and is satisfied by the needs you provide him or stop crying about it and deal with it because you arent leaving the situation, so you have no reason to complain about it.

All these posts about "Sammiches" and "Blow Jobs" and "Sports" arent just there for entertainment, I'm guessing 90% of men enjoy 1 or all of these at once and after that they love you again. Most men don't enjoy expressing feelings, We feel that an undisclosed grunt in your general direction equals the same as "Wow my love, did you do this for me"

If you want to please a simple being, do simple things.

peterdt

usually both of these things:

1. not just sex. but make him feel like he is a king in bed. truly show your love. be vulnerable. Men need to feel love in this way, not to hear "I love you."

2. appreciation. he need to know verbally that you appreciate him working so hard.

Do this and he will do anything your heard desires.

Juliejustsaying

Personally I blame Sex in the City for portraying MEN as emotional objects

Yes, We are that shallow, no we don;t care it your friends kid is turning two and they are having a party on sunday at 2, and the game is on.

I love when woman say "oh, hes so deep and quiet" "He's real dark". We ain;t sitting there thinking about emotions and feelings, we are sitting there thinking "how the f**k do I get her to shut the f**k up and blow me"

hahaha I love honesty...but really, why don't you just ask? That is all my bf does, "hey, blow me" works every time...

edge_dragoncaller

Okay, I realize I'm probably going to get some smarta** remarks, but I am really curious what men want from their wives or significant other. As a woman, I am always looking for ways to surprise my husband or to please him more. You know, things like......um.........do men like their wives to look their best everyday? That kinda thing.

I'm not a man but I think most men (unless they have a savior complex) do not enjoy needy women. I know I don't like being with a needy partner.

Men want to be providers...but you're right, they don't want needy. It's a delicate balance.

wrevhn

Always looking sharp.
Smelling great.
Sex whenever he wants it.
Making dinner, all meals really, but dinner is important. and sammich's whenever he needs one
And, dont talk when sports are on tv.
and, keep the house clean.

I mean, that's it. you do those things, and he'll be the happiest man on earth.

The sex whenever he wants one can be a full time job. Guess thats another reason I'm a stay at home wife. lol

Though seriously, most mens complaints (my hubs in army & the army guys complaints to him) to each other for failing relationships is not enough sex. Or women that only care about "whats in it for me" or "why is he not do it for me"?

I've learn spoil to be spoiled. You get out what you put in. Selfish attitudes do not have a place in a partnership. So I make dinner, breakfasts, his lunch for work, snacks cookies for army ppl, whatever he wants he gets. And then it pretty much comes right back at me. I get almost anything I want.


except a horse. I have not gotten that yet.

IamOnMywayNow

You know, I think maybe subconsciously I started this topic to find ways to make sure he's happy AND get his attention. But I'm so tired of trying.

Maybe you should talk to him about how you're feeling??

I've tried, doesn't ever make a difference.

Then maybe it's time for counseling.

My husband is one of those men that never thinks he needs help, especially from any type of doctor.

I'm sorry to say, but that is most men. Unless bone is protruding or an organ has ruptured, we will try to act like it's nothing. Seriously... my ex and I were outside "having fun" and my knee was in precarious spot that I didnt notic until my knee cap was on the left side of its normal position. I hollared, grabbed it and put it back into place, then tried to get back on...but she was too grossed out to continue.

As for what men want, in all honesty, it's too vague and each man is different, sometimes so much so that we want opposite things. I will say in general, Men want to feel like they are protecting and taking care of you. Whether that be grabbing something off the top shelf in the cupboard, fixing the sink, or doing the yard work that you hate. Show an interest in what he likes, even if you don't participate - but don't roll your eyes and scoff at it. Last, understand that most men don't want you to force them to talk out their emotions...we get pissed about emotions. We'll share 'em when we want, but otherwise they are buried and forgotten.

I have a tendency to take care of things at home. EVERYTHING. I fix toilets, the water heater, if I can't reach something, I climb on the counter. And I have learned tricks to open everything. I do all of the yard work, and can change the oil in my truck. You think maybe he believes I only need him financially? Could me being completely self-reliant at home be a turn off?

Your husband sounds like a **** head. If you do everything he should be the one sneaking in the living room without making a sound and giving you oral while you watch your game! Seriously STOP trying so hard tell him what you want, tell him if you dont get it he will have to get the hell out! Why are you putting up with that BS?

Juliejustsaying

Always looking sharp.
Smelling great.
Sex whenever he wants it.
Making dinner, all meals really, but dinner is important. and sammich's whenever he needs one
And, dont talk when sports are on tv.
and, keep the house clean.

I mean, that's it. you do those things, and he'll be the happiest man on earth.

The sex whenever he wants one can be a full time job. Guess thats another reason I'm a stay at home wife. lol

Though seriously, most mens complaints (my hubs in army & the army guys complaints to him) to each other for failing relationships is not enough sex. Or women that only care about "whats in it for me" or "why is he not do it for me"?

I've learn spoil to be spoiled. You get out what you put in. Selfish attitudes do not have a place in a partnership. So I make dinner, breakfasts, his lunch for work, snacks cookies for army ppl, whatever he wants he gets. And then it pretty much comes right back at me. I get almost anything I want.


except a horse. I have not gotten that yet.

Yeah, I think this is really good advice....but there is a point in time when you do have to question whether he is capable of giving you what you need. I'm there right now with my bf. He has a lot of really, really good qualities...but communication isn't one of them. I don't need a lot, but I do need some....I'm guessing if OP has tried a lot of different things to get her husband's attention, and you're not getting it...then you need to do some thinking. Is it even possible to get what you need from him? I'm sorry, but life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship. Stay, work on it, fix it...but if it isn't fixable, move on.