What makes you unfriend somone?

SeaRunner26

I haven't unfriended anyone.......yet. Muuuuhwaaaaa (evil laugh)!!!!

diverdiza

I haven't had any of the weird things that a few posters have mentioned :noway: but I have recently unfriended a few people because no matter HOW often I made supportive comments to them, they never (or in the one person's case only once in over 2 months) BOTHERED to support me.
So I figured why waste my energy on them. Come on folks, its a two way street..!

Ironically most of those that got dumped sent the initial request.. Maybe they were "friend collectors"?

So far I haven't deleted the inactive ones because there may be good reason for their inactivity. If it goes on significantly longer I may do so..

hughtwalker

I haven't unfriended anyone - I don't have THAT many

meshashesha2012

- people who dont log in for more than 3 weeks . i make exception to the friends i have offline who are on here who i keep bugging IRL to get their a$$es back on here

- people who regularly and unapologetically eat too little calories and then complain on their news feed about how hard weight loss is

- people who congratulate me on coming under my calorie goal and i've only had like 700 calories that day. that only happened a few times because it took me awhile to realize the reason why i was losing my appetite was from regular sprint HIIT sessions.

i tend to accept any and all friend requests and my friends list has gotten out of control. i recently decided to stop adding friends who didnt send a note.

PayneAS

An unhealthy approach to eating.

This exactly. I had two on my list. I kept them for a month or so and made friendly suggestions but they both rebuffed me. So once I determined that they were going to continue severely underfeeding themselves I unfriended them. I felt bad about it but I also couldn't communicate with them. No way was I going to post "Way to go!" on their "So-and-So completed their day under their calorie goal" when I didn't agree with what they were doing.

magj0y

for me I got a message scolding me because I went over by 150 calories one day. I had been under 3 days in a row because I wasn't hungry and try to average my BMR over the week. Pure annoyance.

I got 4? Encouraging remarks on my food diary. Uhm... Ok? **i do appreciate any feedback.
I've been sick since sept. 5th and had surgery on oct. 3rd.. If you posted something to me there and
I didn't respond... That's why! And why i for the most part haven't logged food and no exercise.

Glad most of my mfp haven't Unfriended me!

Seems i've broken 3 of the most common reasons people Unfriend others.
For all my mfp friends who haven't Unfriended me, thanks! And a heads up, i won't be around much in December. Even my real life friends don't see me much! One (irl) actually got mad, even though I told him!! I have one unplanned weekend to schedule my husband's birthday and it's not even November! It's like this every year.

JohnMessmer

This has been an interesting read. I never really considered conditions of unfriending before (I'm still a newbie, though, and don't have a lot of friends on here in the first place).

Not having the food diary open is something that bothers people? Really? I just recently closed mine, because I got annoyed at some well-meaning comments about how I didn't eat breakfast, or my "lunch" had 800 calories, or something like that.

I agree. IMO, if someone is going to unfriend me just because they can't see my diary, then they weren't much of a buddy to start with. If their idea of a friend on here is that different from mine, it may be better for them to go ahead and unfriend me... *shrug*

Personally, if someone has not logged on in 4 or 5 days I go to their profile and see if there is a "vacation" or "hospital issue" or anything that explains why they may not be online, if there is nothing there then I click the 'ol Remove Friend button. I am certainly not perfect, and don't expect others to be, but if you can't be here for me when I need you (which is why we are friends on this site) then all you have done is proven I don't need you as a friend here. That may sound a bit cold, but I am here to get **** done and I refuse to be held back, or even associate with someone who is not dedicated to the same ending result: Being Healthier.

I truly do not know how I can be supportive of you, in this healthy journey, if you choose to have your Diary closed. I cannot speak for anyone else, I look to see if you have hit your goals, and to ensure you are not starving yourself; as so many seem to try to do these days. I really cannot, in good conscious, tell you “Good Job” or offer any other congratulatory remarks when you have only netted 200 calories for the day. It is your life, and you choose to do what you choose to do, I am not trying to tell anyone how to live there life. I am saying that I want to be able to support, encourage, and comment on my friends here at MFP and that with a closed Diary I simply do not feel that I can honestly do so. With that being the case, if you choose to keep your diary private then we need to part as friends. I have no hard feelings and hope that you do not either, and I wish you nothing but success in your endeavor.

After reading this thread it is proof that people are different, we have different goals, methods, and expectations from our friends. I do not think that unfriending someone is a big deal, chances are you did not know the person before you befriended them, and in the process of getting to know them you decided that you did not appreciate their methodology; we do it in real life all the time.

Have a Great Weekend :-)

djsupreme6

for me I got a message scolding me because I went over by 150 calories one day. I had been under 3 days in a row because I wasn't hungry and try to average my BMR over the week. Pure annoyance.

I got 4? Encouraging remarks on my food diary. Uhm... Ok? **i do appreciate any feedback.
I've been sick since sept. 5th and had surgery on oct. 3rd.. If you posted something to me there and
I didn't respond... That's why! And why i for the most part haven't logged food and no exercise.

Glad most of my mfp haven't Unfriended me!

Seems i've broken 3 of the most common reasons people Unfriend others.
For all my mfp friends who haven't Unfriended me, thanks! And a heads up, i won't be around much in December. Even my real life friends don't see me much! One (irl) actually got mad, even though I told him!! I have one unplanned weekend to schedule my husband's birthday and it's not even November! It's like this every year.

that would annoy me too..food diaries whether shown or not are preferences to the user, afterall thats who they are for..not others really. I hardly ever log food nowadays..i've been on here for 230 days and never go over. I know what to eat and how to eat. I used to but since I eat the same stuff a lot its what works for me. Anybody who would delete over a closed diary or an amount of food eaten is absurd in my opinion

magj0y

This has been an interesting read. I never really considered conditions of unfriending before (I'm still a newbie, though, and don't have a lot of friends on here in the first place).

Not having the food diary open is something that bothers people? Really? I just recently closed mine, because I got annoyed at some well-meaning comments about how I didn't eat breakfast, or my "lunch" had 800 calories, or something like that.

I agree. IMO, if someone is going to unfriend me just because they can't see my diary, then they weren't much of a buddy to start with. If their idea of a friend on here is that different from mine, it may be better for them to go ahead and unfriend me... *shrug*

Personally, if someone has not logged on in 4 or 5 days I go to their profile and see if there is a "vacation" or "hospital issue" or anything that explains why they may not be online, if there is nothing there then I click the 'ol Remove Friend button. I am certainly not perfect, and don't expect others to be, but if you can't be here for me when I need you (which is why we are friends on this site) then all you have done is proven I don't need you as a friend here. That may sound a bit cold, but I am here to get **** done and I refuse to be held back, or even associate with someone who is not dedicated to the same ending result: Being Healthier.

I truly do not know how I can be supportive of you, in this healthy journey, if you choose to have your Diary closed. I cannot speak for anyone else, I look to see if you have hit your goals, and to ensure you are not starving yourself; as so many seem to try to do these days. I really cannot, in good conscious, tell you “Good Job” or offer any other congratulatory remarks when you have only netted 200 calories for the day. It is your life, and you choose to do what you choose to do, I am not trying to tell anyone how to live there life. I am saying that I want to be able to support, encourage, and comment on my friends here at MFP and that with a closed Diary I simply do not feel that I can honestly do so. With that being the case, if you choose to keep your diary private then we need to part as friends. I have no hard feelings and hope that you do not either, and I wish you nothing but success in your endeavor.

After reading this thread it is proof that people are different, we have different goals, methods, and expectations from our friends. I do not think that unfriending someone is a big deal, chances are you did not know the person before you befriended them, and in the process of getting to know them you decided that you did not appreciate their methodology; we do it in real life all the time.

Have a Great Weekend :-)

Wha? Oops, my bad. Didn't realize i was supposed to post i might be in the hospital awhile in the middle of coughing up over 1/2. Cup of blood. Oops, my bad! I'm talented at multi-tasking, but i really did need 2 hands. 1 to hold the cup, the other to painfully pull the coagulated blood off my tongue.
If anyone here expects people to post under this situation, please don't friend me!

dorothytd

I haven't had any of the weird things that a few posters have mentioned :noway: but I have recently unfriended a few people because no matter HOW often I made supportive comments to them, they never (or in the one person's case only once in over 2 months) BOTHERED to support me.
So I figured why waste my energy on them. Come on folks, its a two way street..!

Ironically most of those that got dumped sent the initial request.. Maybe they were "friend collectors"?

So far I haven't deleted the inactive ones because there may be good reason for their inactivity. If it goes on significantly longer I may do so..

^^Yes to the above.

eatrainsmile

Pro-anorexic behavior. People who never interact with me. People who haven't logged in for a REALLY long time. People who bash on fine *kitten* ladies with enhanced boobs

I second this.

+ blumic behavior.

moonglo82

This has been an interesting read. I never really considered conditions of unfriending before (I'm still a newbie, though, and don't have a lot of friends on here in the first place).

Not having the food diary open is something that bothers people? Really? I just recently closed mine, because I got annoyed at some well-meaning comments about how I didn't eat breakfast, or my "lunch" had 800 calories, or something like that.

I agree. IMO, if someone is going to unfriend me just because they can't see my diary, then they weren't much of a buddy to start with. If their idea of a friend on here is that different from mine, it may be better for them to go ahead and unfriend me... *shrug*

Personally, if someone has not logged on in 4 or 5 days I go to their profile and see if there is a "vacation" or "hospital issue" or anything that explains why they may not be online, if there is nothing there then I click the 'ol Remove Friend button. I am certainly not perfect, and don't expect others to be, but if you can't be here for me when I need you (which is why we are friends on this site) then all you have done is proven I don't need you as a friend here. That may sound a bit cold, but I am here to get **** done and I refuse to be held back, or even associate with someone who is not dedicated to the same ending result: Being Healthier.

I truly do not know how I can be supportive of you, in this healthy journey, if you choose to have your Diary closed. I cannot speak for anyone else, I look to see if you have hit your goals, and to ensure you are not starving yourself; as so many seem to try to do these days. I really cannot, in good conscious, tell you “Good Job” or offer any other congratulatory remarks when you have only netted 200 calories for the day. It is your life, and you choose to do what you choose to do, I am not trying to tell anyone how to live there life. I am saying that I want to be able to support, encourage, and comment on my friends here at MFP and that with a closed Diary I simply do not feel that I can honestly do so. With that being the case, if you choose to keep your diary private then we need to part as friends. I have no hard feelings and hope that you do not either, and I wish you nothing but success in your endeavor.

After reading this thread it is proof that people are different, we have different goals, methods, and expectations from our friends. I do not think that unfriending someone is a big deal, chances are you did not know the person before you befriended them, and in the process of getting to know them you decided that you did not appreciate their methodology; we do it in real life all the time.

Have a Great Weekend :-)

My food diary is private because I don't want people to "coach" me on my eating habits... I want support when I post a workout, when I post a specific question that I need help with, or to celebrate victories. I do not view people scrutinizing my diary and telling me what I'm doing wrong as a form of support... it often comes across to me as people overstepping boundaries and acting like they are experts in weight loss, when they often are not. No offense... just being completely honest here.

So I repeat... if you HAVE to view my diary in order for us to be friends, then our goals are different. Nothing personal.

buckeyetex315

I haven't unfriended anyone. My friends are mostly active and we support each other through good and bad times. Not sure what would cause me to even consider this.

I have some friends who have become inactive and I have sent messages to them. I will wait and see if they come back. It would be nice to see the prodigal MFPers come back. I'd prefer not to give up on them.

I have unfriended a few people, but only for apparent total abandonment of the site AND non-reply to mulitple personal messages. That being said, I have also kept several people who are infrequent posters, etc. for the same reasons in the second paragraph above as well as knowledge of serious health issues.

belladonna786

I just deleted a girl yesterday I felt so very bad for doing so but her post were so disturbing to me. Then I made the mistake of going through her friends list and became even more disturbed by the amount of sick girls on this site. It makes me so sad, but I can't have it on my feed and not say something.

neverstray

I think it's very rude when I send pics of my junk, and they don't respond in kind. That's grounds for immediate deletion.

belladonna786

LOL!

veggiehottie

I deleted a few girls who were basically anorexic and proud. Their posts were very self-defeating, their daily logs showed way-too-low calorie counts, and their pictures showed bones protruding. Very, very sad that that there are girls using MFP for the purpose of starving themselves.

As a person recovering from my own eating disorder, it was really emotionally hard to see the things they would post.

The ones I have kept? The people eating healthy, lifting weight, and posting positive things about themselves and their MFP pals.

kimmianne89

1 girl I deleted because she logged sleeping as exercise and was trying to convince everyone they should log it.

buckeyetex315

I very rarely unfriend anyone. If a person has obviously abandoned the program, then I'll delete them, but that is about it. You never know when someone on your friends list is going be able to help or you'll suddenly be able to help them, too.

Agree wtih this. I need help sometimes. I like to hear feedback from my friends but don't really need it to motivate myself. I try to be encouraging without intruding. I've probably crossed the line a few times but usually by expressing concern to learn more about the other person's approach to their efforts.

belladonna786

1 girl I deleted because she logged sleeping as exercise and was trying to convince everyone they should log it.

LMAO!!! Wow