are all men the same?!!

untouchable86

Men are not all the same but they won't change a thing if they don't want to. Life's too short to base your happiness off another person, if you're unhappy and you've voiced your concerns and the behaviour is still going then you will drive yourself crazy if you keep expecting miracles.

You're perfectly justified for how you feel, but in all honesty it sounds to me like he just isn't ready to settle down and be a "family man". Most men seem to think that means waving goodbye to their former lives and handing their balls over to the Mrs (and for some that's probably true). That's probably not his fault either, often times men just don't "get" what it is we "expect" of them. :ohwell:

It sounds like it's time to have the talk about what HE wants. If he can't decide, then give him an out. If he takes it, he's a coward and you can find somebody better. :flowerforyou:

i really like this " Life's too short to base your happiness off another person,"

matchbox_girl

No, not all men are the same. My boyfriend of one year, best friend of two years, and future hubby is the most amazing guy I have ever known. He is respectful, kind, caring, loving, supportive, gentle, funny, nurturing.....before I met him I was convinced all men were the devil. Well, they're not. My beau brings me flowers, cooks meals, gives me foot massages, cleans the house, fills my gas tank up, buys me fuzzy slippers, etc. It's the little things that matter most.

I have been diagnosed with bipolar, and I also tend to binge drink.....I have anger issues and severe mood swings....and yet my man loves me even through those moments.....I wish you luck in finding someone else. They're out there.

newmooon56

If BOTH people dont want to spend time with one another without one of them having to schedule and beg for it ...
BOTH people need to re-evaluate the relationship and what BOTH people want from it. Then- if BOTH people cant agree of the main priorities - it is time for EACH person to decide how to proceed -which if one was smart, would be to get out. Or else you have agreed to settle for his ideas of what the relationship should be and you may be miserable for life.

Maturity in a relationship makes all the difference. A dude with oats left to sew - not sure how mature you actually are when you still have your oats.

Food for thought - pun intended.

DMZ_1

No, all men are not the same.

Best wishes to you in working through relationship issues!

hiker359

Nope, they're all special snow flakes just like women.

caterpillardreams

I have not real all the responses, but I have a few questions? how old is he? of course every man is different but at a younger age most men just want to hang with friends. Do you guys have children? or expecting? If you are thats a whole different subject.
Ive been married 5 years, together for 6 and i love my husband more than anything.
You have to decide if he is the one, good and bad. All of it. Cause marriage is not easy and does not mean he will change. But you will grow and so will he if you love and communicate with eachother.
Express how you feel and what you want. He should compromise and so should you. Sometimes one person like to spend more time together then the other. thats how I was with my hubby. We have grown so much and he is not the same he was 6 years go and neither am I.
I understand that he needs that time but that he must not neglect me either.
I hope you figure it out for yourself. be careful of the advice you hear.

joeysox

not all men are the same no. and i saw that someone mentioned age? i saw something recently that said some people are young but born old and some are old but always young, everyone is different, im in my 20s is my husband we have been together 6 years and are very happy and also best friends. wanting to spend time with your partner is not nagging he should decide what is important to him . make your feelings clear but dont pressure xx

Sox90716

you cant be a part time family man,

Exactly! Cut him loose now. It won't get any better with time. Good luck.

CM9178

If a guy is engaged, and has kids at home, yet he'd rather spend most of his free time with his friends, than with his fiance and his kids, then HE'S NOT READY TO GET MARRIED. Period.

WinnerVictorious

If a guy is engaged, and has kids at home, yet he'd rather spend most of his free time with his friends, than with his fiance and his kids, then HE'S NOT READY TO GET MARRIED. Period.

^ this.

it's immaturity. honestly, until a man is at least 25 years old, they really aren't yet real adults. forget about 18 to vote and 21 to drink. 25 is about when people start to mature into REAL adulthood and embrace responsibility. not everyone does so as quickly as others, and some do so sooner. if your BF is 26 or 27, it's about time he started though.

you could remind him of this verse from the Bible...

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

RealWomenLovePitbulls

don't expect anything to change after you get married, if u cant deal with it, and you cant come up with a compromise with him, then i would suggest not getting married.

i agree with the person who said to have family only weekends (maybe every other weekend) and then the opposite weekends he could spend one day with you and one day with his friends maybe?? i agree that his family should be more important, but for some reason it is hard to get men to see things from our point of view.

my husband goes out with his friends a couple times a month (usually staying at the friends house cuz they are drinking) and i don't usually mind it, but we don't have kids and he isn't away for work all week. so, it's a different situation.