No Children - Lifestyle Choice

arghbowl

I wanted kids until I was around them for a prolonged period of time. Simply put, it's a responsibility I don't want, don't have the attention for, and most importantly don't have the patience for.

A lot of people think I'm weird for it because I'm the only guy in my family, but I just don't want kids. I'm open to adopting an older child in maybe, 10-15 years, but none of my own...

If Karma exists then I'd be SCREWED!!

MNA76

I have no desire to have children. I like kids, but don't have any motherly instincts. I am selfish. I like my life and I like it just being me and my husband. But I think that it would be more selfish for me to have kids that I didn't want. I'm afraid that I would resent them. That's not fair to them.

fionarama

We can't all be the same and I certainly wouldn't people who don't want children to somehow be forced to by public/social pressure. There are certainly plenty of people who have kids which you kind of can't help feeling maybe shouldn't have.

however its impossible to know what its like to have kids until you have one, thats the only thing so deciding not to have kids is a kind of uninformed choice.

Other people's kids can be a nightmare, but somehow your own is just so much fun (well mine is anyway). I kind of feel let down because having kids seems to get such a bad rap (oh the sleepness nights, the not being able to go out, blah blah) that I only found out late in life just how much fun it is. Its really, out of all the travelling, career, learning languages, all the things I've done in my life, the most fun I've ever had and continue to have is my little girl.

But then again, if you feel totally negative about the idea of having kids likely as not like anything you approach negatively in life, you will probably hate it.

One of those never will know if you made the right choice or not really.

Fit_NYC_

I have no desire to have children. I like kids, but don't have any motherly instincts. I am selfish. I like my life and I like it just being me and my husband. But I think that it would be more selfish for me to have kids that I didn't want. I'm afraid that I would resent them. That's not fair to them.

I think that's honest and responsible. Having children is a huge commitment, a very large monetary drain, and they are also wonderful... but it comes down to choice.

OP, if people are constantly nagging you, tell them to mind they're own business... and this is coming from somebody who loves kids.

wilmnoca

In my 30's. Both Hubby and I never wanted kids so we didn't have 'em. I call that RESPONSIBLE! My immediate family was totally fine with it. My mother in law... Not so much. She'll live. It's our life, our choice.

bacitracin

www.reddit.com/r/childfree

Mobilemuscle

Like anything in life it is a risk. You always hear stories of people saying how they never wanted kids but when they had them it was this amazing blessing..... but on the flipside there are also people who think they want kids and have no earthly comprehension of the responsibility they are undertaking and it ends up hurting more than just them

I feel that the responsible thing is to search your heart. If you want kids, great, have them. if you dont, then dont, no regrets.

skadoosh33

I don't believe having children is for everyone. They are time consuming, expensive and change your life. I see so many parents that don't have a clue of how to properly care for their children. Most could use parenting classes. It's sad because the parents lack a college education and can't financially support their children. If your family doesn't earn $100k or more, you can't afford to raise children the way they deserve.

Mobilemuscle

it may come to that...having to prove net worth and ability to afford children....if central planning takes hold in the US as it has in China it is a realistic solution for population control and other issues

Ed98043

I'm 47 and never had kids, but never got married either so I didn't have in-laws to deal with. My own parents would never bug me about it as they're always supportive of whatever I choose. In fact very few people in my life have asked me why - I don't think I come across as very maternal. lol

Koldnomore

I couldn't believe the grief I got over wanting to get permanent birth control. I was 23 years old and they made me feel like a criminal for wanting it. When I finally found a doctor willing to listen to me and my reasons for it I was so grateful. I am not surprised to learn I am not the only one who has suffered from this type of sexist treatment from doctors. I wonder if they give men the third degree over wanting vasectomies in their 20s.

I stared trying to get my tubes tied at 20, took me until I was 36 before I finally found a doctor that would do it. To have to get permission to make a decision about MY body from someone who isn't me... Not cool. I feel your pain.

however its impossible to know what its like to have kids until you have one, thats the only thing so deciding not to have kids is a kind of uninformed choice.

It's not like we just randomly said 'I'm never having kids" chances are that people who chose to remain childless have spent YEARS doing research into costs, procedures, developmental phases, family history, schooling, work programs, health care and a hundred other things that would never cross the minds of many people. I think the choice is more informed than you realize.

janinab75

38 years old and don't want children. My partner and I decided when we got together 13 years ago that neither of us wanted children. He had been married before and never had children from previous relationships, I never had the maternal desire for children, have the patience for children. I enjoy other kids for a short while, but am just as happy to return them to their parents. I'm happy to know there are many others out there like me, I really thought we were few and far between. Nice to see so many similar posts.

SunshineRox007

27 years old, desperately want children but haven't found the right guy to have kids with. I don't find it selfish at all for someone to not want children. It is 2013, and I agree a woman is so much more than a walking uterus. I have friends that pressure me to go looking for Mr. Right because one day it will be too late to have those kids and I will regret it. Like that helps.... I would rather see someone not have kids than to have kids for selfish reasons when they know they can't take care of them and/or are simply following the crowd.

M22KY

I just don't have the patience. I love toddlers and would want five of them if they remained toddlers. I think they are just the cutest to watch hobbling around with their munchkin selves. But I lost interest past age 3.

I'm like Oprah. It's the hardest job in the world. I can't do it.

Naaer

I am fifty six and I NEVER wanted kids of my own...I like children and they like me, I've just never wanted the responsibility, for various reasons...I don't regret this decision, in fact, I think it was one of the smartest I ever made...To each his own...Most people know if they'd make a good parent, or not...


Reaan:happy:

suziepoo1984

I have always loved children, just adored them. Loved playing with them and taking care of them since childhood. Be it my niece, nephews, my neighbors twins and so on. I have fed them, cleaned them and done all the gross+cute stuff and still loved them.
So it felt natural that i wanted kids of my own. So me and hubs agreed and have a darling daughter now. I expected it to be much easier for me since i had so much experience.
But its been one of the hardest thing i have ever done. We have to make our kids #1 priority. I was never a outdoorsy/party person and i still miss being out as much as i did before. There is no time to relax/sleep. I never ever thought it would be so hard and me and hubs have decided that we are more than happy and done with just this one:)

So what i am saying is, if you think you do not want to have kids, then its best idea not to:)
I love my daughter the most and she makes me smile and happy all the time, but its still the hardest job ever!

lilawolf

I'm 24 and 90% sure that I do not want kids. I like them, particularly the 5 year old stage, in small doses, but not to have and keep. My husband and I really enjoy doing what we want when we want. I would rather spend some time and money volunteering rather than raising a child. I am a big sister to an 11 year old with Big Brother Big Sister, and I help with STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math program for kids). I can mentor, make my community a better place, work with kids, and still go home to a quiet home and a full bank account :drinker: Oh and wine, and non-childproof cabinets, and no stretchmarks...:laugh:

The 10% is that I think my husband would be a great father. I have also heard a lot of people who ended up with unintended children who say it was the best thing that ever happened to them even though they didn't think that they wanted kids. It could totally all be worth it.... Maybe :huh:

People definitely keep asking which I think is weird unless its family, but no one has said I'm selfish.

maryjboom

I just make sure I'm a fantastic aunt to my nieces and nephews, since, as I joke, they'll be the ones picking out my nursing home when I get old.

I have been married 14 yrs and my husband, dogs and the kids I work with are plenty. I have fun with my nieces and nephews then send them home. I can stay out late or go away on a last minute trip. If we had kids, we would not be able to do things like that. Granted, at one point I wanted to have kids, but I like my life the way it is.

JingleMuffin

Its fine to have them and also to choose not to.
I myself would like a big family.
I wouldn't want to raise an only child but I don't think what I want is best.. it just happens to be what me and my husband want. I think its crazy that people are so forward with their ideas that you have to have kids or you should have so many,or, oh no that's too many.
those kinds of things boggle my mind. different strokes for different folks.

desertSNOUT

All I have to say is I love kids (1) and (2) the passion and heat that comes from doing to the 'deed' is exponentially better when doing it for a purpose that everyone can see in a few short months

teehee