Married Women-Your Thoughts?

beccannes

I was wondering how the married women in this forum would feel about your husband posting in the "rate the person above you" threads?

I recently noticed my husband posting in one of these and I'm not sure how I feel about it. How would you feel? Do you think it is wrong? Do you think it is more in the gray area? Or do you think there is nothing wrong with it what so ever?

Jenny_Taylia

I do it...So why would it bother me if he did it.


And a lot of people post 9s and 10s just to be nice regardless of what the person looks like.

MsBookandTea

Good question. I don't think my husband would participate in that, but if he did I think I'd be insecure and feel bad about myself. Since already feel bad about myself, it would probably make it much worse.

darleyschroeder

It depends on the couple I suppose. Some couples are more "laid back" with their spouses and are okay with lusting after other people.
I know my husband would have a cow if I did this and I would have a herd of cows if he was acting this way. We never dishonor each other, physically or mentally if we can help it.

Contrarian

Everyone gives a 9 or a 10 anyway. It's meaningless.

Jenny_Taylia

And another thing. I dont think its that bad of a thing to post ratings. Its more so to boost the other persons self esteem IMO.

Now if he were making compltely inappropriate comments to women...then thats an issue.

darleyschroeder

In my opinion, this type of behavior is unacceptable in a marriage. He needs to honor you and appreciate your beauty, he married you. He might not see it as a big deal, but we want our men to look at us as beautiful. When they turn their attention towards other women, on purpose because it's one thing to notice an attractive woman and another to tell her about it online, it is a betrayal.

traceyandhergirls

Every marriage has it's own "rules" but I would not appreciate my husband participating in that thread, and I would not participate in that type of thread either. It seems very flirtatious to me.

If it bothers you, I would let him know.

glenette1

I don't get the rate the person above you threads to begin with and assumed they were for young singles. However, it's just a thread I wouldn't be too concerned about it unless more of a conversation followed.

MsBookandTea

In my opinion, this type of behavior is unacceptable in a marriage. He needs to honor you and appreciate your beauty, he married you. He might not see it as a big deal, but we want our men to look at us as beautiful. When they turn their attention towards other women, on purpose because it's one thing to notice an attractive woman and another to tell her about it online, it is a betrayal.

I agree.

JenKillough

I'm married and don't participate in those threads anymore. I see nothing wrong with it if you're both ok with it... but I personally feel like it's a bit disrespectful.

stang_girl88

It would not bother me at all. He is married, not dead Even though I know I am not the best looking person out there, I know he is with me.

umachanxo

I go in them, because, to me, it's more of a motivational thing and not a "You're a 9. Let's ****". For me, anyway. And besides, if I'm in there, why should I get angry if my husband is too.

But if it bothers you, the only thing that you can do is talk to him about it. It really doesn't matter what ANY of us feel and how it works for us. What matters is how YOU feel and how he feels about it.

Jorra

Telling a stranger online that she is attractive is hardly cheating. I wouldn't mind at all. It doesn't mean he cares about you any less.

samanthawarren

My husband would never participate in one of these. What is funny is I know what kind of woman he would find attractive and he knows the same for me. We have no problem commenting on that. I guess because we are confident in our relationship. However actually flirting with someone is completely out of the question. I don't participate out of respect for him and he wouldn't out of respect for me.

wrevhn

Well, I posted in them, but tried to go under girls. So it be okay. I use to ban male buds too, but have a few of them now who I had trouble saying no, as long as its understood I'm madly in love with my perfect hubby.


It is more of a single world, an excuse to flirt, so I can see why it might bother you. If it was once, not such a huge deal. If he frequents them, I'd think about a talk.

Steve_Runs

I'm married and don't participate in those threads anymore. I see nothing wrong with it if you're both ok with it... but I personally feel like it's a bit disrespectful.

agree!

Madelinew22

I was wondering how the married women in this forum would feel about your husband posting in the "rate the person above you" threads?

I recently noticed my husband posting in one of these and I'm not sure how I feel about it. How would you feel? Do you think it is wrong? Do you think it is more in the gray area? Or do you think there is nothing wrong with it what so ever?

if u feel hurt by it, its wrong. i dont mind but there are alot of things im not ok with. like he cant hug other women even if they are friends. it gives me that "hurt" feeling inside (hope you no what i mean) so therefor its not ok. u need to talk to him about it, hearing other ppls opnion might make u push ur feelings aside and ignore them and that will only cause some resentment.

samanthawarren

Telling a stranger online that she is attractive is hardly cheating. I wouldn't mind at all. It doesn't mean he cares about you any less.

I don't agree with this. I have a close friend whose wife actually left him after starting a relationship this way. It started just like this and then progressed into personal messages and ended with her leaving her husband and children to move across the country to be with the person she met on a message board. I thought that was crazy, but then I found out it happens more often than you would think.

mcjmommy

If you don't like it, you need to tell him. A mature response on his part would be to stop participating.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Telling a stranger online that she is attractive is hardly cheating. I wouldn't mind at all. It doesn't mean he cares about you any less.

This. I wouldn't care.

ali_b83

I wouldn't mind, especially if I knew. We talk about how other girls look all the time. I even show him pictures I come across of his favorite, Christina Hendricks. As long as he tells me I'm beautiful (which he does), then I'm good

SPNLuver83

I am married.... I do it and it's innocent. Just bored. So I would imagine it would be the same for him.

SabrinaJL

It would not bother me at all. He is married, not dead Even though I know I am not the best looking person out there, I know he is with me.

That. Probably would have bothered me when we were first together and I was young and insecure, but not now.

Wannabeachday

It seems like you have a problem with it for the fact you are asking if its right or wrong. It might be ok for some and others not. It's what's right or wrong to you that counts. Me personally I wouldn't like it but I have my own insecure issues vs others that see no harm in it if he is up front with what's he's doing. If it bothers you, which it seems like it does I would talk to him about it and he should respect your feelings. Don't worry about what we think, it's your feelings. hope that helps!

beccannes

Thank your the responses so far, I really appreciate everyone's input.

I just want to be sure I am not being too sensitive about this.

He has posted maybe about 3-4 times so far-so not too many times-. I have told him how I felt about it and recently saw he posted again since.

Another thread question-"What is sexy about the person above you" how would you guys feel about your hubby posting in that one?

BehindBlueEyes988

I'm not married, but I am engaged and we have been together going on 7 years. Honestly, it wouldn't have bothered me at all. My fiance looks at women when we're out, and we talk about how certain girls are pretty and so on. I understand he loves me and wants to be with me, but I also understand he is a guy. He's going to see a pretty girl and make a comment. Those who don't say anything are still looking at women, they are just too scared to say anything. Don't let it bother you. All is well, but it's a bit much to think you are the only woman in the world he finds attractive. I know I always look at men around him, and he laughs and does the same with me

MsBookandTea

Thank your the responses so far, I really appreciate everyone's input.

I just want to be sure I am not being too sensitive about this.

He has posted maybe about 3-4 times so far-so not too many times-. I have told him how I felt about it and recently saw he posted again since.

Another thread question-"What is sexy about the person above you" how would you guys feel about your hubby posting in that one?

For me, that would bug me. I wouldn't like that at all. I think it's disrespectful.

I remember one time I had my office door closed and I was watching a YouTube video with some guy talking about a recipe. I had it on kind of loud and my husband walks by and says "Who are you talking too.." (like I was on Skype or something, with some guy..) I opened the door and said, "It's a YouTube video, look.." and he was like "oh, I thought you were talking to some guy.". I know how he would feel if I was to "rate" someone online, even if it was innocent he'd still be mad. So, I would not do that and I would hope he wouldn't do that to me.

ali_b83

Thank your the responses so far, I really appreciate everyone's input.

I just want to be sure I am not being too sensitive about this.

He has posted maybe about 3-4 times so far-so not too many times-. I have told him how I felt about it and recently saw he posted again since.

Another thread question-"What is sexy about the person above you" how would you guys feel about your hubby posting in that one?

That one is pushing it. Sounds like an invitation to get compliments and flirt (only in my opinion).

SabrinaJL

Thank your the responses so far, I really appreciate everyone's input.

I just want to be sure I am not being too sensitive about this.

He has posted maybe about 3-4 times so far-so not too many times-. I have told him how I felt about it and recently saw he posted again since.

Another thread question-"What is sexy about the person above you" how would you guys feel about your hubby posting in that one?

The sexy thread wouldn't bother me either. What WOULD bother me is if something my husband was doing was hurting my feelings/upsetting me and he continued to do it after I told him so. THAT I would find disrespectful.

umachanxo

You really need to sit down and express to him how this makes you feel. If you've asked him to stop, he really should. Like someone else said, it wouldn't bother me so much that my husband was in that thread as it would if I asked him to not go into them because I didn't like it and he continued to.