Married Women-Your Thoughts?

Keto_T

Why would it bother me? I know where he sleeps at night. I trust him. *shrug*

Jongfaith

Divorce him! There is no other way around this issue. It bothers you and communicating about it would be pointless.

RobinvdM

Eh, you either trust him or you don't.

I trust my husband, so if he posted in the "rate the person" thread, I would be more interested in the ppl who rated him and then grill him on how he'd rate me and then throttle him for the wrong answer :laugh:

It is irrational for women to expect men not to look, or want to be looked at. If he started letting it go to his head, I would deflate it for him. After all, he sleeps with me and if his vanity needs stroking then let him have at it. If you don't trust your hubby then you should be dealing with that, rather than where he is posting.

Don't YOU like being looked at by other guys? Especially if you know it's harmless? And don't tell me YOU don't do some looking too...

enliven_mal

As a married lady, I just have to suggest that you trust your gut. You don't need to justify why something makes you uncomfortable. But, you know your husband best. If his intentions were slimy and skeezy, be upset! If he was posting because he is a supportive, nice guy, don't be upset.

Here's a thought - why not ask him why he is posting?

etoiles_argentees

I'm married and don't participate in those threads anymore. I see nothing wrong with it if you're both ok with it... but I personally feel like it's a bit disrespectful.

Not married but I feel somewhat the same, actually a quick glance at an attractive woman is one thing, commenting. No. Shows no respect.

Cameron_1969

I am VERY jaded in this department. . I have a long sordid tale I could tell and the internet played a pivotal role. .

I guess I'm curious if you both consider your accounts to be open to each other. .or if you keep your passwords private. . etc.. I know there is a school of thought out there that it's an invasion of your privacy to let your spouse have access to your 'private' internet stuff. but I dropped out of that school.

I think the posting is harmless in and of itself. .although it's kind of screwy that he kept doing it after you told him you didn't like it. ..The 'rate' threads are very uninteresting. .However. .there are three reasons most people go (myself included!).

1. To hit on the person that posts before you
2. To get an ego boost when the person below you tells you that you are a 9.5
3. To be a good person and help people feel good about themselves. <--- ME! . .;)


So. . Which is he?

slimlifter

It's more worrying to me that women are looking at what their husbands are browsing. If you really are that insecure, there are far more serious issues you need to address than whether or not he is looking at a picture of someone else.
Stop projecting your self confidence issues onto your husband and sort out what's going on in your own head.
Looking is not cheating. I'm sure every single woman in here has perved on an attractive male more than a few times.

DesireeLovesOrganic

I think those threads are immature (attention seeking? Seems odd to me to give a flying leap what some random internet person thinks of your looks) so for a married person I would be thinking "Dude, are you 18? Grow up." Haha

chatipati1

I think you should quote his response and say..hey this is my husband..You know what is sexy about him? His life insurance policy:)

charelg

I don't think it's THAT big of a deal. But I'd want passwords to his online accounts and see if he gives them to you. If not, he may be hiding more than you think. If he's brazen enough to "flirt" online where you can see it, I'd wonder what he's doing online. My ex husband did some strange stuff online and was shady hiding stuff from me. So just have a talk with him, let him know how you feel. If he continues it, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.

WinnerVictorious

I was wondering how the married women in this forum would feel about your husband posting in the "rate the person above you" threads?

I recently noticed my husband posting in one of these and I'm not sure how I feel about it. How would you feel? Do you think it is wrong? Do you think it is more in the gray area? Or do you think there is nothing wrong with it what so ever?

i think it's harmless. he's not comparing them to you. he's simply passing along a compliment to some anonymous person online to boost their self-confidence.

however, it's he's making provocative posts, that's a different story.

beccannes

I agree with some of the above posts that it really depends on the couple and the "rules" in the relationship. I do have a very good husband in many respects and I am very secure with our relationship. I guess the thoughts I have for my personal self posting in those type of threads is I really do not need to seek out another man's outlook on me because I have the best man in the world:) He is incredibly handsome and I am very protective of him regarding vixens

Brianna72994

Cant your husband see this thread..?

emtjmac

I think it's harmless fun. Leave him alone.

BrieLP

My husband and I met on a dating website, so honestly if he did post in something like that I would probably question him about it bit I know he loves me and I have all the faith in our relationship so it wouldn't upset me especially since I get told I'm beautiful every day...

Crisitunity

I would be extremely fine with it. I might tease him about it.

ripemango

naaa, that wouldn't bother me.

i would only have a problem w him talking to some1 in an inappropriate manner or 'doing' something. commenting on a pic wouldn't even come up on my radar.

JenKillough

I think those threads are immature (attention seeking? Seems odd to me to give a flying leap what some random internet person thinks of your looks) so for a married person I would be thinking "Dude, are you 18? Grow up." Haha

Agreed. And my husband would probably laugh at the idea of commenting on a thread like that.

Contrarian

I'm sure that when he reads this, it will open up an honest and enjoyable conversation.

darleyschroeder

Thank your the responses so far, I really appreciate everyone's input.

I just want to be sure I am not being too sensitive about this.

He has posted maybe about 3-4 times so far-so not too many times-. I have told him how I felt about it and recently saw he posted again since.

Another thread question-"What is sexy about the person above you" how would you guys feel about your hubby posting in that one?

I would be outraged if my husband posted in any topics like this, especially one regarding the sexy-ness of another individual. My husband would probably be even more hurt if I did this as well.
I am bothered that you mentioned it to your husband and yet he still does it. It doesn't sound like your hubby is doing his part.

KrisyKat

I think that, if it truly bothers you (even just a little), you should talk to him about it. It's better to be open and honest about your insecurities rather then let them damage your relationship.

Everyone likes to be complimented, so it's natural for your husband to enjoy hearing things that boost his ego. With that being said, I do agree with other posters about having access to online passwords/accounts. This will ensure that you are never left in the dark when it comes to the compliments he does get (and the contacts he accrues.)

Trust is key. If you feel that trust is being affected, no matter the reason, it's better to address the problem head-on.

beccannes

Eventually he will although this is something I have already talked to him about!

Cant your husband see this thread..?

darleyschroeder

Eh, you either trust him or you don't.

I trust my husband, so if he posted in the "rate the person" thread, I would be more interested in the ppl who rated him and then grill him on how he'd rate me and then throttle him for the wrong answer :laugh:

It is irrational for women to expect men not to look, or want to be looked at. If he started letting it go to his head, I would deflate it for him. After all, he sleeps with me and if his vanity needs stroking then let him have at it. If you don't trust your hubby then you should be dealing with that, rather than where he is posting.

Don't YOU like being looked at by other guys? Especially if you know it's harmless? And don't tell me YOU don't do some looking too...

Men look. It's a well known fact, they can't help it. If you see something then you see something. All men have eyes. It's another thing to focus and meditate on other women though. Men do have a choice in how they act. To look at another woman, fantasizing and lusting is adultery in your heart.
I know my husband notices other women. There are some amazingly gorgeous women out there, but he respects me and doesn't drool or spend an inappropriate amount of time taking her in.

jesse1379

Yes..I can see this thread, yes she has all of my passwords including this one. And I did it a total of like 3 times purely because I was bored and find it entertaining. And admittedly like to see how others perceive me. Nothing wrong with that is there?

beccannes

Eh, you either trust him or you don't.

I trust my husband, so if he posted in the "rate the person" thread, I would be more interested in the ppl who rated him and then grill him on how he'd rate me and then throttle him for the wrong answer :laugh:

It is irrational for women to expect men not to look, or want to be looked at. If he started letting it go to his head, I would deflate it for him. After all, he sleeps with me and if his vanity needs stroking then let him have at it. If you don't trust your hubby then you should be dealing with that, rather than where he is posting.

Don't YOU like being looked at by other guys? Especially if you know it's harmless? And don't tell me YOU don't do some looking too...

Men look. It's a well known fact, they can't help it. If you see something then you see something. All men have eyes. It's another thing to focus and meditate on other women though. Men do have a choice in how they act. To look at another woman, fantasizing and lusting is adultery in your heart.
I know my husband notices other women. There are some amazingly gorgeous women out there, but he respects me and doesn't drool or spend an inappropriate amount of time taking her in.

To me it is not the intial look that matters, because that is human nature as stated above. I would be more of the second glance that I don't think is right!

ExplorinLauren

I was wondering how the married women in this forum would feel about your husband posting in the "rate the person above you" threads?

I recently noticed my husband posting in one of these and I'm not sure how I feel about it. How would you feel? Do you think it is wrong? Do you think it is more in the gray area? Or do you think there is nothing wrong with it what so ever?

I think how YOU/HIM feel about it is more important, bc its your relationship. You can't really ask people how they do things, bc its irrelevant to your circumstance.
With that said... I feel you. lol

My husband and I have a VERYYYY committed loving relationship...
I ONE time on here, answered the rate the person above you thread... It was totally laid back and nothing inappropriate or anything... but I immediately felt weird. Because it wasn't something me and my husband would ever do... it made me uncomfortable. SOoooooooo, I've never been back and wouldn't do it again. I don't think he would necessarily mind, I mean its no different than seeing someone online or across the street and saying that person is hot or not. But its not "our thing" so ... I have no reason to go there.
A lot of other people would think that is weird, or have no problem doing whatever... so that is their life, I have mine, this is yours. Again.... No way to really gauge. There is no "right way" To each their own.

ekkand

Why would it bother me? I know where he sleeps at night. I trust him. *shrug*

Brianna72994

Yes..I can see this thread, yes she has all of my passwords including this one. And I did it a total of like 3 times purely because I was bored and find it entertaining. And admittedly like to see how others perceive me. Nothing wrong with that is there?

If it bothers her then you shouldn't do it. Just saying

JenKillough

Crossing the path of an attractive female and noticing is one thing... going onto a Rate Me or How Sexy Am I thread and rating an attractive female... quite a different thing.

jesse1379

I think it's harmless fun. Leave him alone.