Married Women-Your Thoughts?

Chapter3point6

I would equate getting upset over this to getting upset if he has fantasies about celebrities. He'll never meet these girls, it's all in good fun...

How could you be here for 4 months and 3000 posts and not hear about the hook ups that take place on this site? It seems like every day there is a deactivation from someone who is married/attached and they got caught misbehaving on here. I know of some that have took it offline and got caught.

Not suggesting that the OP's husband is looking for a hook up by participating in a rating thread, BUT to equate it to fantasies about celebrities is just ridiculous.

I've been here two years and haven't heard about all these hookups that take place. But maybe that's because I'm not a gossipy hen and don't give a damn what other people are doing.

I'm not a fan of rating people in general, so I don't participate in those threads. But it's really just people looking for a little ego boost and validation. Harmless fun for those who enjoy it.

If a relationship is destroyed because someone gave someone a high rating, then that relationship was already nearly dead.

You don't have to be a gossip hen to hear about hookups gone wrong from this site. It is a natural reaction to ask friends out of general concern why a mutual friend deactivated. On multiple occasions I have heard of someone deactivating because they got caught misbehaving online or hooking up offline from someone they met here.

slkehl

Thanks for all your comments!! My husband and I actually came up with a middle ground compromise that we are both happy with. I know that a lot of your comments have changed my perspective a little and I know where my husband is coming from more. I think that it has changed my husband's perspective a little and I think he knows where I am coming from more as well. I feel like when there is a disagreement in a marriage what makes the marriage healthy is to meet in the middle!

Glad to hear it!

Matt_Wild

Sounds like a hell of a lot of people with self esteem issues being reflected onto partners...

oregonzoo

I think it depends on the relationship you and your S/O have. For some couples it's probably perfectly ok.

For some, not so much.

Personally I'm not about to judge either way. Just as long as you and your loved one act according to what makes the relationship healthy and happy.

boecho

FWIW, my wife doesn't care if I browse/comment/rate women. She knows I'm faithful.

Midnigh

I was wondering how the married women in this forum would feel about your husband posting in the "rate the person above you" threads?

I recently noticed my husband posting in one of these and I'm not sure how I feel about it. How would you feel? Do you think it is wrong? Do you think it is more in the gray area? Or do you think there is nothing wrong with it what so ever?

butterflyluv1218

I don't think it's a big deal on a public forum. He's obviously not trying to hide it. When it becomes secretive and private messages then there would be an issue.

likearadiowave

I'm single, but if I was married, I don't think it would bother me. Some people (like me) post in those threads because they're bored.

Unless they are actually flirting with the people they're rating, I don't see why it would matter much.

n2thenight24

My husband and I rate people out in the general public all the time to each other, so; for sure wouldn't bother me on the internet.

jennaworksout

they are the stupidest message boards....wouldn't worry

HelloSweetie4

I don't see a problem with it. Just because you're married doesn't mean you no longer find other people attractive. It doesn't have ot have a sexual undertone. I post on that thread sometimes, to men and women. I can appreciate a woman's beauty just as much as a man, that's not cheating and it certainly doesn't make me a lesbian.
Honestly I think, and feel free to disagree, but if your SO gets pissed about rating a person's picture, then there's bigger problems in that relationship. It's silly to get jealous over something like that.

LittleBallofFurr

I would equate getting upset over this to getting upset if he has fantasies about celebrities. He'll never meet these girls, it's all in good fun...

How could you be here for 4 months and 3000 posts and not hear about the hook ups that take place on this site? It seems like every day there is a deactivation from someone who is married/attached and they got caught misbehaving on here. I know of some that have took it offline and got caught.\




Not suggesting that the OP's husband is looking for a hook up by participating in a rating thread, BUT to equate it to fantasies about celebrities is just ridiculous.

I've been here two years and haven't heard about all these hookups that take place. But maybe that's because I'm not a gossipy hen and don't give a damn what other people are doing.

I'm not a fan of rating people in general, so I don't participate in those threads. But it's really just people looking for a little ego boost and validation. Harmless fun for those who enjoy it.

If a relationship is destroyed because someone gave someone a high rating, then that relationship was already nearly dead.

THIS!

momshorses

In my opinion, this type of behavior is unacceptable in a marriage. He needs to honor you and appreciate your beauty, he married you. He might not see it as a big deal, but we want our men to look at us as beautiful. When they turn their attention towards other women, on purpose because it's one thing to notice an attractive woman and another to tell her about it online, it is a betrayal.

I totally agree with this. It is so important to guard our marriages. My husband and I try our very best to make sure we do. We are married for life. I think it is important for each of us to know that we are the most important and special person in each others lives. Looks are fleeting. My hubby and I are forever.

shezzamess

I think this behavior opens doors........

zombilishious

Everyone gives a 9 or a 10 anyway. It's meaningless.

Dang it! I post in there when I need a self-esteem boost! There goes my good mood for the day :sad:

Seriously, I do it. I wouldn't have a problem with him doing it. I see those forums are harmless. They're public, and they're pretty funny.

JustJennie1

I think this behavior opens doors........

Opens doors to what?

ErinGBragh

First of all, to those who keep making the "You are clearly insecure" comments, ummm, she admitted that already. She DOES feel insecure because of her weight. How dare she be human! Must be nice being perfect and completely comfortable with your body.

She also stated multiple times that she TRUSTS him, so enough comments about trust. There is a difference between trust and feeling insecure due to your image. She was bothered because she feels insecure about her body and how it measures up to the women he was rating.

kenazfehu

It wouldn't bother me at all. What he does during his computer time is none of my business.

WendyTerry420

I was wondering how the married women in this forum would feel about your husband posting in the "rate the person above you" threads?

I recently noticed my husband posting in one of these and I'm not sure how I feel about it. How would you feel? Do you think it is wrong? Do you think it is more in the gray area? Or do you think there is nothing wrong with it what so ever?

It wouldn't bother me at all. In fact my husband and me often make a game of rating other persons, especially celebrities.

WendyTerry420

In my opinion, this type of behavior is unacceptable in a marriage. He needs to honor you and appreciate your beauty, he married you. He might not see it as a big deal, but we want our men to look at us as beautiful. When they turn their attention towards other women, on purpose because it's one thing to notice an attractive woman and another to tell her about it online, it is a betrayal.

How is chit-chat on the internet bringing dishonor?