RANT: I hate my teenager

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  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    While I will always love her... I really hate her right now.

    Wow, all the hyperbolic "I hate" comments sound like something I'd expect more from the teenage kid, not the adult parent.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
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    ONE! ONE raging lunatic! AH HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Well ... you did raise him.

    But I'm wondering why he can't have his passport? Does he not have one or he has one and you won't give it to him? And who's paying for his alcohol?
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    Hate is very harsh, But I can understand why you are frustrated. What mother wouldn't be frustrated when her 18 year old boy is acting that way!?


    I agree with comments, tough love. Don't get him the passport.... if he has the money to get it, he can buy it. (Which means he better get his gear into action and get a job!)

    Maybe he is used to getting his way, or maybe he was spoiled when he was younger.... did you ever reward him for bad behavior? (Give him a toy when he threw a tantrum...etc)

    Good luck with him.
  • MamaTaryn
    MamaTaryn Posts: 5
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    [quote}


    you don't hate HER. you hate her choices and her rebellious attitude.

    No wonder kids are so screwed up these days... their parents are all going around talking about how they hate them.

    Do you really think I tell her that I hate her?
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
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    I honestly hope your son never, ever finds this rant or finds out you "hate" him.

    It sounds like the typical 18-year old forgetfulness and lack of drive. Figure out a way to motivate him, but don't hate him.

    Were you perfect at 18? I sure as heck wasn't, and I had to learn those life lessons to become who I am today. It's called growing up. You aren't magically an adult when you turn 18. He won't mature just because it's his birthday.

    Pathetic. I feel sorry for him. He's probably a really nice guy, and here's his mother ranting about how much she HATES him simply because he forgot to get an ID. It's not like he's in jail or hooked on drugs or driving drunk.
  • ashleywilson316
    ashleywilson316 Posts: 4
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    Just because a person doesn't turn out exactly the way you would hope or has short comings does not mean that it is because the Parents went wrong. As humans we have free will. I think that the stress and conviction this woman is speaking with she tried as hard as possible to raise a good child. It's obvious to me that her child doesn't think he should have to work or obtain anything for himself.

    A little tough love..and he will either sink or swim...those are his choices to make.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    OP... you're keeping his passport from him? Like, he already has a passport, and you're not letting him have it? So he'll be an adult, and you're not allowing him his legal identification because he might go drinking with it?
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member
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    While I will always love her... I really hate her right now.

    Wow, all the hyperbolic "I hate" comments sound like something I'd expect more from the teenage kid, not the adult parent.

    Again, THIS.^^ bingo.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    Going through a similar thing with my kid. I just don't get it.
    No matter how much you try and beat common sense, ethics and morals into a kid, it doesn't always stick!

    It sucks, but you're going to have to come up with some tough love!
    For awhile, my kid had to cook her own food taht I provided (cheap generic crap) and she wasn't eating with us.
    She had no TV, no internet, nada. I can't control if she wants to succeed or not, but I can control the extras that we provide.

    Suggestion;
    Tell him to go pack his clothes. When he brings his stuff down tell him if he doesn't have a job in a week, or at least put out 10 applications, he needs to move.
    My husband's co-worker was a horrible horrible child. She had two very supportive parents who even provided years of therapy that didn't come cheap. she never cared.
    She came home on graduation day to find her stuff on the porch and her parents moved with no forwarding address. Some people are just born clueless and no matter what you do, they have to find out when they're on their own.

    Sometimes it is nature, not nurture and people seem to forget that
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    hate is a strong word for your child......

    I agree with the above comment.

    Not to mention, kids are usually a reflection of their parents and their upbringing. So something tells me that the parenting in his life was probably lacking somewhere along the way.

    I would disagree with that. Her son sounds a lot like my brother. He always yelled at my mom and slacked off what he was supposed to be doing, and getting in trouble with the law. I, on the other hand, didn't do any of that. I was a National Honors Society student, I cooked, cleaned and volunteered at the local nursing home. I'm nothing like my brother and we were raised in the same house, by the same mom.

    OP, I'm thinking that it might just be the fact that he's a teenage boy. Hopefully he will grow out of it.
  • NoxDineen
    NoxDineen Posts: 497 Member
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    He's YOUR child. YOU raised him. Unless he was raised by someone else (I obviously don't know your family situation), this is YOUR product, MOM.


    Enjoy.
    Cause kids are definitely not subject to external influence other than their parents... Following your logic, every murderer is their parents' fault and your mom should be slapped for raising you.
  • MySunshine76
    MySunshine76 Posts: 389
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    I'm sorry, but my son is 17. And yes, he too can be quite the handful. But I don't understand how you, as a mother, could put "I hate my teenager" as the title of this post. That is an absolute terrible thing for you to say.
  • nygrl4evr
    nygrl4evr Posts: 196 Member
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    Where do you think you went wrong?

    Why does it have to be where she went wrong? What about him?

    Thank you!! He is going to be 18 and at this age old enough to know what is right and wrong. Time to stop blaming the parents, he will be old enough to drink then he is old enough to know what is right and what is wrong and how to act like an adult.

    DO NOT give him the passport, he needs a tough lesson in learning what it will be like to be on his own. To take responsiblity for himself. Start now. It may be hard but we are their parents and not their friends. Good Luck!!
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
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    I think my mother would have said similar things about me when I turned 18. Probably in some internet forum as well. I know she did to anyone at the bar who would listen. I'm 30 now, and you know what I've learned. My mother is a pretty awful human. I'm pretty sure your house has mirrors in it. I suggest you look in one.
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member
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    [quote}


    you don't hate HER. you hate her choices and her rebellious attitude.

    No wonder kids are so screwed up these days... their parents are all going around talking about how they hate them.

    Do you really think I tell her that I hate her?

    You don't have to TELL her. Actions speak louder than words. and kids are very perceptive. She can sense it from your words, your body language, the way you react to her. No doubt she knows how much she's disappointed you. No doubt she also knows how much you've disappointed her as well.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
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    My "teenager" will be 33 in a few days. It doesn't get better. He's got traffic law violations - several! - and didn't bother to go to court last week. I've been waiting for a license suspension notice to show up in the mail (which still comes here while he couch hops with friends who ask far less of him than we do) and possibly a warrant for his arrest.

    I told him months ago that he had to get a job and pay those fines or this would happen.

    I suppose his dad and I are too functional and too responsible. To be his own person, he had to go in the opposite direction, I guess.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    hate is a strong word for your child......

    I agree with the above comment.

    Not to mention, chances are that kids are a reflection of their parents and their upbringing. So something tells me that the parenting in his life was probably lacking somewhere along the way.

    That's awesome and helpful.


    Edit: To the OP: ignore the *****y/judgy comments from people who do not have children or whose children are under ten.

    "Judgy"? This woman is judging her son; the other comments are judging their kids. How is someone commenting on a public topic being "judgy."
  • jenbk2
    jenbk2 Posts: 623 Member
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    Wow- there are some judgemental people on here today.. WOW.

    I would say some tough love is in order.
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
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    He's YOUR child. YOU raised him. Unless he was raised by someone else (I obviously don't know your family situation), this is YOUR product, MOM.


    Enjoy.

    I don't agree with this. I know several people, including differences between my brother and I who's parents raised them the same way, gave them the same support and opportunities....and they turn out completely different. How is it that 1 child will be a college graduate and the other child is a convict. Sometimes...there are just bad seeds and blaming the parent is a cop out.

    I do think that kids go through phases and 18 is a rough age. Some kids find their way....others don't.
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