When did you know it was over?

toomuchbootyindapants

This thread makes me really sad.

Polly758

It's hard to fake being happy for nearly half a decade. I should get an Oscar.

And then nobody believes you had any reason to leave him I could barely speak to my mom for a year after I left my ex, because she didn't get it... and that was because I was such a good faker.

AddieOverhaul

I was with my ex for about 3 years. 1.5 years in we moved in together, and his anger issues started to surface (as well as perpetual negativity - ugh). Anyway, over time things got worse, he became verbally and emotionally abusive, and extremely negative all the time. He would scream at me for hours over nothing, saying anything he could to hurt me, and then one day he picked up a bunch of wire hangers i had on the dresser (I was cleaning out the closet) and threw them at my face. That was the moment I fell out of love.

I broke up with him shortly after that, but after his crying and begging and threateniong to kill himself, I agreed to give it another chance on certain conditions, one of which was going to counselling for anger management. i can't remember what the other ones were now, but I do know he didn't meet any of them. He went to one counselling session (which was free through my work) and then missed the following three. He had really bad excuses for missing them too like "I was too angry to go". Hmmm...too angry to go to the anger management counsellor?

Anyways, the verbal abuse got worse and he started to shove and pin me against the wall so a few months later I broke up with him for good. I knew it was only a matter of time before he hit me, and by this point I hated him. We had to live together for a month before I could move out and he did and said so many awful things during that month that I lost 15 pounds (one positive of the experience) and had panic attacks on my way home from work, fearing what I would be walking into.

That was over 2 years ago, I have't seen or heard from him since, and it was the best decision i ever made. I am 100 times happier now, and have mostly recovered from all the damage he did to my self esteem.

My only regret is that I gave him that second chance after I broke it off the first time.

gypsyrose64

When my husband of 4 yrs confessed to cheating on me during my first pregnancy with his secretary (the week after she was born!) Unfortunately, I was terrified to raise a child on my own and forced myself to stay for her sake. He was a good father and worked hard to make things right. Had another child 5 yrs later and it fell apart overnight when I realized he'd cheated again.

Had a long list of reasons to leave, but I was too stubborn to give up on the ideal of "family". It took 15 years of marriage before I found the courage to walk for good(left a few times and ran back). Divorced since 2003. Flying solo ever since.

rose313

I knew it was over when I realized it was not ME that was angry, hated myself, negative, and worried about everything. It was because of my relationship. He was negative, didn't want to do anything with his life, sort of racist, and didn't want me to model anymore (it wasn't nude modelling or anything close, just helping photography students with their assignments) or get a tattoo. He would never show interest in anything I did. Over the years it just brought me down. Then I met someone who was the complete opposite, we were friends, he made me feel great, I started to be happy again, and it just clicked...I needed to end it with my old bf. I didn't want to cheat, I broke it off and a little while later ended up with my new friend as my boyfriend. I feel like a completely new person. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I had no doubts on what I had to do, I KNEW 100% it was the right thing.

Alex_is_Hawks

when I saw the stool flying for my head.....

true story.

TheCaren

I knew it was over when I could no longer come up with excuses to convince myself to stay. When no obstacle was big enough to keep me from leaving (finances, children, history...).

NormalSaneFLGuy

When the baby came out black.

pxpwop

After reading this thread for the last 10 minutes realizing my relationship has many of these same problems.

I really need to re-evaluate what I am doing right now. Very glad you all posted your stories and experience. Thank you.

QTRARO

The relationship of 6 years I had ended because ... we fell out of love I still care about him though, always will.

Latest relationship which ended 2 weeks ago...I knew it was over when I realised he was a lazy very overweight person who just wanted to watch tv programmes and movies all the time - when I wanted to be out and about doing things .. I also realised when we would sit together, I had nothing to say because it came to the point where I realised he was a "hipster" and everything he liked was so much cooler than what I liked .. so I kinda couldn't even be bothered talking anymore as nothing I could say was good enough... or "right".

We kinda ended up at a point where I knew being with a hipster type who is shorter than me, very much overweight, lazy, glasses and beard.. just isn't my type no matter how much I thought I liked him and I'm not really a person who basis things on looks but when someone has no get and up go for life and just wants to watch sports and sit around ... it is actually draining and boring .

Oh I didn't break up with him either he ended things with me, which is fair enough it was never going to go anywhere I gave too much and got very little in return. Sux to be dumped though but definitely for the best.

Ok that's a bit of a rant but it is kinda recent so I'm a little jaded! haha!

penrbrown

First date. The entire time I was thinking: I wonder what my roommate is doing?

I knew it was time to break things off then. When I knew I'd have more fun with my boring old roommate then my date. :P

sunnyside1213

When he beat me and I lost our baby. Years later he showed up and wanted to know if my son was his. No, you idiot. You killed your child.

iAMsmiling

When he beat me and I lost our baby. Years later he showed up and wanted to know if my son was his. No, you idiot. You killed your child.

Jesus...

LisaY76

The relationship that never should have happened but did result in my daughter - so I can't regret all of it.
Honestly I don't know WHY my ex fiancee and I ever dated. It was bad from the start to be honest. After I got pregnant I went through the motions b/c we were having a baby. Worst time of life. Looking back I shouldn't have followed through with the motions; should have gone through the pregnancy on my own and never let him have a part of any of it.
Anyways shortly after my daughter was born I was in a car accident, then cut my biological father out of my life and it was all down hill from there. The first time I told my ex I didn't need him was the most freeing moment ever.
Things did drag on for a while and I grew to just HATE him
We ended moving in with a family friend and I saw my opportunity to leave. Went to my sister's for the memorial day weekend - made out with her neighbor and left a week later. Never looked back

WOW......TMI... You gave way more info than what was asked. But hey, if you need to vent, then what better place. Let it out sista, let it out.

QTRARO

Oh and it should have been over when I spent $400 on a night out at a nice hotel and $100 on a bottle of champange he liked. He complained the champange wasn't cold enough, and then in the morning was "too tired" to get up and enjoy a nice breakfast in the resturant I had arranged for us. Oh and he snored all night so I barely got any sleep.

haha I'm still venting about it.

charelg

After much shadiness I found an extra cell phone which didn't know existed,. That and being over the fact we had 0 in common and were more like roommates then husband / wife.

JenniferSpindel

I knew it was over when I had spent the last 6 months in a new city looking for a place for us, and two hours before we were going to sign the lease I get a text that says "I'm feeling angry and depressed" or something along those lines.

I made him drive two hours to tell me to my face he didn't want to move in with me, give me the non-refundable security deposit, and broke up with him.

The ties were absolutely cut when I found out he had still been dating his other girlfriend when we first started dating, and about halfway into the relationship started dating his best friends ex.

Several months later, I found another girl.

Problem was, dude wasn't even that attractive.. He just fed on woman with low self esteem ( like I had) and catered to their need to feel loved and accepted (that I needed).

Last I heard he married one of the girls, even after I sent her a fb message with some corrospondance between him and I detailing some times of our relationship... and i just feel sorry for her now....

queenpushycat

when the guy said "i think it's best we're just friends." and I heard it... 3 weeks ago.

chnkydnknmomma

After having a long-distance relationship for a few years, with a few break-ups along the way, my now ex-boyfriend decided he couldn't live without me for another second, and he moved 1500 miles to be with me.

I knew it was over when he became very picky about what job he would take..."I don't want to be a ___, I won't work for ___dollars an hour, etc..." I grew very tired of getting up for work every morning, and coming home to find him playing video games or online. I began to hate the sight of him. After 2 big fights, I told him it would be best if he left.

No regrets here, they say you never really know a person 'till you live with them, and I now know just how true that saying is.

brendasteve

I knew it had to end when my ex husband would sit at the edge of the bed and eat his dinner in the evening, everytime he did this i wanted to kick him in the back. He could make mashed potatoes sound crunchy! Even the sound of him breathing annoyed me.... This is when I knew. It took me at least a year to walk out! It wasnt easy, but better than being with someone i wanted to hurt (would never actually hurt someone but felt like it)

Easywider

We just grew apart.

After she cheated on me the second time that pretty much ruined any chance of it ever working too though...

Odiliawine

I knew it was over when he told me that he didn't want me to go to grad school. He gradually became more and more controlling and demanding. He wanted to know where I was, what I was doing, where I was going all the time and I made excuses to not answer his phone calls or talk to him for a day at a time. We had been together for 6 years but it just wasn't worth it anymore.

SarahtheJillianfanatic

Some of these are so horrible.

I am happy you are out of these relationships.

LivingJuicy

The first clue was when I found him sex chatting with old girlfriends on Facebook and then would tell me I had the "sex drive of a goat" when I wanted to do it twice in one week.

NightWindEclipse

Been in a wonderful relationship for a year and a half now.

But before this; when he told me that he wanted to get me pregnant, have the baby killed, drink my milk, and then force me to commit suicide.
Wut.
:huh:

oregonzoo

My ex and I were moving into a new house.
On the way to closing on it, he mentioned wanting to "christen" every room.

And I thought to myself "I have NEVER been so glad to have TOM...because that would be GROSSSSSSS"


Or when after a vacation with him and my family I knew I never even wanted to go on a weekend trip with him again. Ever.
Anywhere.

pixiestick

He was a needy, controlling jerk who was jealous that I was spending time with my best friend in the hospital (who had terminal cancer and would only live another 6 weeks). He tried to give me the "cold shoulder" treatment so I dumped him.

I sensed before that our relationship was probably a no-go, but that was the last straw.

elprincipito

We just grew apart.

After she cheated on me the second time that pretty much ruined any chance of it ever working too though...

:grumble:

MimiCro

when he tore me and my daughter down verbally. I was a "fat, ugly, worthless, c**t and he had to think about other women to get off, a horrible mother" and my 8 yr old daughter was "a f**ked up little brat". I hung up the phone and was DONE.

wow, thats serious trouble right there...

NavyKnightAh13

Have been with the hubby for 4 years, been married a little over a year and have a 10 month old.

Before that, my last ex was creepy as in he would call my cell phone every 5 minutes demanding to know where i was at, who i was with, what i was doing etc, drive by my house, lay on the horn until i acknowledged him etc, i finally dumped him when he dragged me out to his truck and drove me to another town and after the abuse (not only mentally but emotionally and physically) and came back. He also one night refused to leave the side street next to my house until i waved to him outside the kitchen window even though we were broken up. :noway: He had the nerve to write an email to the funeral home about my mom (which he claimed he understood what i was going through....yeah right if you did you wouldn't have called the house making my mom pick up the phone after driving her mobility scooter out there and then calling her a *****) and ran into me at Walmart before i left that town and demanded my phone number (I gave him the wrong one :laugh: )

Before that, I had three other relationships and both of them the guy cheated on me. First one cheated on me with a girl that we went to school with, had me date one of his friends and then we broke up and i took him back before dumping him (7th grade), the second one moved to another town (8th grade) and turned a guy gay in high school (that was the joke, he and i dated for 6 months and when I wouldn't give it to him, he went around saying his was bi-sexual for 3 weeks and then he said truthfully I am gay). :huh: After that i didn't date until i got to college, dated psycho for 7 months, and then ended up meeting my husband through working together in 2007, but we didn't start dating until 2008.

I also had one other guy that flirted with me and then threatened suicide :frown: if i didn't kiss him. Yeah in high school that wasn't funny so i told the counselor and the guy wasn't happy but i wasn't giving away my first kiss to anyone (interestingly, my first kiss went to my husband).