Sexual Orientation Changed Through Reparative Therapy?
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Everyone was a little gay in the 60's.
On the real, though:
I hate that we even still talk about this. It's so embarrassing. People used to have conversations like this over whether or not black people were "real people" and whether or not women should be allowed to work. Can you imagine? I really look forward to the day when tolerance on this issue is the default.0 -
And reason 452 why dr. Oz is a total hack.0
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Best thing I have ever read on the subject.0
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YES.Why would someone choose to be part of a stereotyped, hassled group like that? I have known people who privately begged God to change them, to make them stop thinking about people of their own gender that way, until they realized it was just who they were and they needed to stop hating themselves for it.
Who you sleep with is a choice. Who you *want* to sleep with is not.0 -
Of course it's possible, as demonstrated by the OP and some of the early posts that followed.is it possible to think it is wrong but also to accept those that are?
Though being tired of those "flamboyant gays" that "seem to be flaunting for the sole purpose of flaunting" probably doesn't fall into the "acceptance" bucket.
true...I must admit I do not like seeing a guy who has to make sure everyone knows his orientation. that would also go for flamboyant heterosexuals but I dont see that as often as the flamboyant gay who "over does" it.. I am not talking about the comment above where some guy makes a comment on some other guys *kitten*. I am talking about the guy who is overly feminine. not all gays are like that just like not all straight guys are super macho. I dont care for either. is that bigoted? maybe. sometimes I wonder if I am jaded.
as far as the topic is concerned, I would not advocate any kind of conversion therapy that wasn't self directed and self motivated.0 -
I think this is horrible :O even if it is brought on by society, etc who cares? its the persons choice at the end of the day.
i really really hope one day we will live in a world where such basic ideas such as the right to love who you want are considered an obvious norm ^^ right now im embarassed for any nation that is so backwards that they cannot accept this
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Is the Dr OZ show some kind of comedy show in the States, a bit like Saturday Night Live?0
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Who cares, gay brahs be liking dem men, leaving more chickies for us straight men, would like to one day have a gay wingman, in theory it's an awesome combo?
@toriaenator , I would love a world like that, but this is earth, and we are humans, always have to have that one person who is racist, homophobic ... etc etc etc etc... but maybe .. one day.
To those people who are against anything in general, why bother? two men/women loving eachother have the same effect on your life as two random people (male & female) loving eachother, no effect, at all -_- . Unless they are walking up to you in your apartment, making love after tying you up and FORCING you to watch, I mean, come on, grow up.0 -
Oh, it is totally a lifestyle choice - same as who you fall in love with and whether you are male or female, btw!
Edit: Oh, I forgot to mention the millions of people who died in WWII because of their lifestyle choice of being Jewish!0 -
if you are gay...good.
if you are straight...good.
But why on god's green earth do some gays (sorry but it seems gays do it more than straights) have to constantly announce their sexual orientation.
can you imagine if straight people suddenly started announcing they are straight as often as gays have to announce their choice?
and the flamboyant gays. They seem to be flaunting for the sole purpose of flaunting. it's tiring. stop it.
I quite constantly broadcast the fact that I'm heterosexual, my fitness page is dedicated to the fact I'm getting married, when I was single I used to comment on hot guys, and on a night out round town I have seen far more grossly overt please get a room hetero couples necking it outside pubs and clubs and on the night busses. Guys rating girls quite openly on shaggability and women grind dancing against guys, then I have seen from the gay community, although I do concede there's gay sluts too, but that's it, you get sluts in all orientations, please don't take it as me being a prude calling people slutty but gay people don't have a monopoly on broadcasting their sexuality at all and I am merely giving an example. In fact it took several months before most of my gay colleagues at work mentioned their same sex partners and it was in passing about going on holiday with their boyfriend and I had no idea either way, when on the other hand I probably bang on about my fiance within minutes of meeting most people.
Also although I am a very feminine dresser, stereotypical shoe, clothes, handbag and makeup lover, I also do stereotypically masculine stuff like play hardcore video games, work in a games job, collect graphic novels, lift heavy, swear (alot) and am a sarcky close the bone generally offensive humoured hoooman beiling, (but would probably get a guilt trip the size of your mama if I genuinely offended someone and they didn't take my dark sense of humour well ;P) I say stereotypically male and female behaviours because even though they're designated gender traits I don't think any gender trait is mutually exclusive so I don't see why anyone should be offended by femine guys or masculine girls if they wouldn't be offended by masculine guys and feminine girls.0 -
Agreed. And "Tolerant" also suggests the behavior is somehow wrong, but you'll put up with it."Therapy" suggests a malfunction, something that needs corrected.
Sexual orientation does not need to be corrected. Anything claiming it can do so is just a shaming tactic designed to shove obvious behaviors under the rug.
Love is love. As long as it's between consenting adults, with no abuses of power or deception, I'm happy.0 -
Hmm, sounds like a load of bull to me the fact that they call it reparative implies they are fixing something and while being homosexual can be considered a birth defect that doesn't mean it needs to be changed if it's not harming their life I suppose if someone doesn't want to be a homosexual then they can try it
I believe the suicide rates for people who enter this type of therapy is through the roof and those who don't try to kill themselves almost always fail this type of therapy0 -
I think, like with so many things, it depends on the person. There are situations like the above, where trauma may play a role. So many people refuse to label themselves as bi-sexual, because they're attacked by "real" lesbians and gays as "only playing around." So they pick men or women and stick with it. And if they change, then they've finally "come out" as gay or lesbian, when really it's just a different person they've fallen in love with. Or if the next person they fall in love with is the opposite gender, it's "I knew they were only playing around!"Well a lesbian girlfriend of mine told me she absolutely chose to be with women only because she'd been abused by several men in her childhood and said she would never trust a man nor would she ever want to be naked with one. I'm not saying that's everyone's experience, but it is hers.
Personally, I wish I COULD decide for myself. I have a hard enough time finding a man I want to share my life with; widening the scope to include women would at least up my odds.0 -
I think, like with so many things, it depends on the person. There are situations like the above, where trauma may play a role. So many people refuse to label themselves as bi-sexual, because they're attacked by "real" lesbians and gays as "only playing around." So they pick men or women and stick with it. And if they change, then they've finally "come out" as gay or lesbian, when really it's just a different person they've fallen in love with. Or if the next person they fall in love with is the opposite gender, it's "I knew they were only playing around!"
Personally, I wish I COULD decide for myself. I have a hard enough time finding a man I want to share my life with; widening the scope to include women would at least up my odds.
I agree. My husband argues with me all the time -- he thinks people choose to be gay. I tell him that, if it is a choice, then he is able to choose to be gay if he wants. He says he couldn't choose to be gay -- he's only attracted to women, thereby proving my point. I can choose to have sex with someone of either gender, but I can't choose who I WANT to have sex with. I personally know people who are exclusively sexually attracted to the same gender, but due to religious beliefs have decided to be in heterosexual relationships, some even have children. Whether your sexual orientation is determined at birth or throughout the course of your development, I couldn't say, but I know it is not your choice.0 -
"so-called reparative therapy"
It's called brainwashing. It doesn't change a person's sexual preference. It just represses that person and put them back in the closet.0 -
I used to believe it was a choice but now believe that there are factors that lead to it.. while im against the lifestyle I am tolerant and accepting of those who live that way.. the biggest problem I have with these therapies is that it can lead to a lot of pressure for people to change and they may act differently but not really be changed
Yup. Those straight people and their weird lifestyle choice. I really can't understand how they live that way either. I'm tolerant of them because some of my best friends are straight, and they seem like nice enough folks. Still. I pity them because they were obviously influenced by the straight culture that surrounds them.
I
this. I wish they wouldn't shove their straightness in my face though, can't they just keep that stuff for when they're alone? 0 -
As I was writting my comment I decided it best to not express what I was going to say.0
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Here is what I know for sure regarding "Born Gay vs Environment Cause".
My parents had 3 sons and 2 daughters. We grew up in the same house, went to the same schools. Were treated the same way. My brother was gay. Always. In a time when it wasn't politically correct to "come out". He didn't believe it was a choice and neither do I. He told me once that if it was a choice, he wouldn't have chosen to be gay, because of all the cr*p he had to put up with from others.
He dies of Aids 19 years ago. He was 33.0 -
As I was writting my comment I decided it best to not express what I was going to say.
well...you have a nice tummy...so thanks for stopping by0 -
It shouldn't be an issue... some people like men, some people like women. End of.0
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"Therapy" suggests a malfunction, something that needs corrected.
Sexual orientation does not need to be corrected. Anything claiming it can do so is just a shaming tactic designed to shove obvious behaviors under the rug.
THIS!!0 -
You can't change who you are attracted to or fall in love with.
I suppose this therapy will make you think you've changed or will necessitate you to pretend you have, but I doubt you actually will have.
Also, don't fix what ain't broken.0 -
I haven't read through all the responses, so I'm just going to add my thoughts to the existing 5 pages.
Being gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender is not a lifestyle. I HATE when people say that. And I do not use the word hate very often. Being LGBTQ is just PART of who a person IS. It's not a choice. When did YOU *choose* to be straight? When did you chose to have brown/blue/green eyes? When did you choose your skin color?
There is no need for therapy because there is nothing to fix. This type of "therapy" is not only a sham, it's dangerous. It's also religiously motivated, but that's another topic. The only thing reparative therapy does is instill shame upon a person for being who they are.
There are few things I am truly passionate about, and being an ally to the LGBTQ community is at the top of the list. I see lots of topics on these message boards that I disagree with, but I keep my mouth shut because I don't like to make waves. But this is not one of those topics. I will not remain silent on this one.
And not that it matters, but I am straight. And I don't remember having a choice in the matter. It's just part of who I am.0 -
The only people in need of "repair" are those who judge, those who are obsessed with the assumed sexual practices of some groups and those who make some people feel they are wrong, evil, confused, less natural. And why just gay people? Why do they not try to "repair" asexual people or straight married people who don't practice "acceptable" sexual behaviour only?? Often the reason for the need to "repair" homosexuals is biblically based yet those people are not out stoning to death those who are unfaithful or banning/annulling marriage between non virgins. Why the obsession with gay people and more so men????0
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Totally and passionately agree!!!0
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But why on god's green earth do some gays (sorry but it seems gays do it more than straights) have to constantly announce their sexual orientation.
can you imagine if straight people suddenly started announcing they are straight as often as gays have to announce their choice?
and the flamboyant gays. They seem to be flaunting for the sole purpose of flaunting. it's tiring. stop it.
I am so f'ing sick of people arguing that any acknolwedgment of one's own sexuality, if not straight, is somehow flaunting it or a sign of aggression.
I am CONSTANTLY bombarded by heterosexist messaging - public displays of affection, advertising, innuendo, oversexualization of women, false beliefs about the composition of my own family. Do you think I can find accurate representations of my family in the media? No - only trite over the top exaggerations of stereotypes under the auspices of "progressive television". And YET, there is a real and constant fear among many LGBT people, myself included, for living an open lifestyle. I've been married for 5 years, have two kids, and I don't feel safe holidng hands with my partner. But, apparently, if I do, some dip-s#it thinks I'm flaunting it.
I really do feel like I'm tolerant of straight people, because most of the time, I want to scream about the crap I have to put up with from you people.
wow...
when I said "flaunting it" I was referring to the guys who wear extravagant make up...sashay when they walk...that is flaunting. holding hands etc is not what I meant
as far as the media...bombardment...they go with the majority...but...there is more and more openly gay television now...many shows, etc. that's fine. and good...I guess I should have been more clear about what "flaunting" means to me0 -
It's weird to me that this is a thing that is still being talked about and debated. Not only is it silly, but I don't see why it matters. Some people like men, some people like women, some people like all genders. Why should somebody's sexual preference matter to anybody but that person?
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I do not believe that you are born homosexual. There are some who may want therapy because they feel like they are not doing something they should. If a person wants therapy...let them get it. BTW I am not a hater, and do not go around saying malicious things about anyone.
If you believe in the Bible and God, you can't refute this verse:
1 Corinthians 6:9
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.0 -
I personally think that people are born one way or another.
From there, I think that their environment may also play a roll, but not nearly as significant as genetics.
Overall, I think people simply like certain features, and get used to and accustomed to the sexual orientation that would allow them more access to those features.
An example, if a man happens to find broad shoulders and excessive body hair attractive, he is far more likely to be attracted to a man than a woman. That is putting it simply, as our attractions have hundreds of variables.
In the end, there is almost 7 billion people in the world. Perhaps we could use a few extra gays around to slow things down? lol.0 -
when I said "flaunting it" I was referring to the guys who wear extravagant make up...sashay when they walk...that is flaunting. holding hands etc is not what I meant
Maybe they do that because they want to. Because they like to do that. Because they don't live their lives to please ignorant people who would like to deny them their right to do whatever they please when it's not hurting a single person.0
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