Should I keep dating this guy? (Cheap)

ekkand

Don't date someone just because they will or will not pay for something. Date them because you like someone. Wanting them to pay for everything is shallow and selfish. Btw you're the "cheap" date if you expect him to pay.

YaGigi

This could be said to you as well! As someone who considers themselves as rather successful as well, and who has never had an issue finding dates or men happy to pay for my meals, I still think it's ridiculous to expect it of them (or to allow them!) to pay every time. If you were so against those equal rights you wouldn't be an ivy league graduate or an executive at your company because you'd be home full time, uneducated, cooking, cleaning and doing whatever your man told you to do because you didn't have the same rights he does.

Well said.

Again. You're talking about equal political and civil rights.
That's completely different. You guys keep confusing it

Will you acknowledge the fact I gave earlier?

"In the United States, during the advent of second wave feminism, 1960s and 1970s, the Women's Movement encouraged women to pay their own way or to pay for men's meals."

Thus, your view is invalid. It is a gender and political statement.

So? If they encouraged women it became political now? Lol, that's funny.

Masterdo

This thread is hilarious. Even more so when you couple it with the hundreds of "where are all the nice guys" thread. Just saying.

marvelprime

I do something simple. I communicate what I believe right away, as something involving money is always a huge "get right out of the gate" thing for me...as it should be for most people.

If you want someone to "take care of you", then tell them. If you believe in more equal approach, tell them.

I once literally had some co-worker gal tell me that I would never get a date because I believed in a 50-50 approach rather than a man constantly providing for the woman.

It was her right, and by the size of the rock on her finger, she got what she wanted.

It's my right to find someone who doesn't feel that way, as I've been burned by someone who stated they were okay with a 50-50 approach but truly and actually wanted the man providing for the woman one. I just had to find that out about 11 years later. I admit early in the relationship my own financial situations at the time had her doing 60/40.

Obviously, I know what I can't do. I can't do the man providing bit....ever. Even when I get myself into a position when I could fully provide, I won't do so unless there's a good reason (like stay at home mom situation). I still need a 50/50 approach because I believe everything should feel "evenly" done. That's my opinion on things, and I'll always clearly communicate it. If someone feels different, I'll wish her luck on finding what she wants and someone that agrees with her opinion.

MiCool90

This could be said to you as well! As someone who considers themselves as rather successful as well, and who has never had an issue finding dates or men happy to pay for my meals, I still think it's ridiculous to expect it of them (or to allow them!) to pay every time. If you were so against those equal rights you wouldn't be an ivy league graduate or an executive at your company because you'd be home full time, uneducated, cooking, cleaning and doing whatever your man told you to do because you didn't have the same rights he does.

Well said.

Again. You're talking about equal political and civil rights.
That's completely different. You guys keep confusing it

Will you acknowledge the fact I gave earlier?

"In the United States, during the advent of second wave feminism, 1960s and 1970s, the Women's Movement encouraged women to pay their own way or to pay for men's meals."

Thus, your view is invalid. It is a gender and political statement.

So? If they encouraged women it became political now? Lol, that's funny.

I had hope, but I see there is none now...

Off to watch paint dry.

obsidianwings

This thread is hilarious. Even more so when you couple it with the hundreds of "where are all the nice guys" thread. Just saying.

Almost as good as the one the other week with the guy getting all huffy that women won't talk to him because hes overweight, while at the same time admitting that hes not interested in anyone bigger than him.

taunto

What were you women fighting for? Equal rights of what?

Women and men work, and make equal money, equal job opportunities, equal educational opportunities. A wife brings the same amount of money as her husband, often even more (but not too much, it can hurt his feelings).

But men are stronger physically. They don't have babies, don't go through this trauma for a body to carry, deliver a baby and get back to normal. And in 6 weeks run back to work otherwise loosing a job.
And still traditionally women cook and lean up the house, and do the groceries mostly. Men do it too but it's mostly women's job.

And you say equal rights? Where's that equal? That seems pretty unequal to me!

WTF did I just read...?

You read that men have LESS responsibilities and LESS duties now when comparing to the work women do every day.

As my German friend said the result of this feminism is men losing their balls and becoming passive. Women trying to get equal rights have reached an opposite result.

But but we pay for dates so really... who's to say who got it tougher

_happycats_

This could be said to you as well! As someone who considers themselves as rather successful as well, and who has never had an issue finding dates or men happy to pay for my meals, I still think it's ridiculous to expect it of them (or to allow them!) to pay every time. If you were so against those equal rights you wouldn't be an ivy league graduate or an executive at your company because you'd be home full time, uneducated, cooking, cleaning and doing whatever your man told you to do because you didn't have the same rights he does.

Well said.

Again. You're talking about equal political and civil rights.
That's completely different. You guys keep confusing it

But it's not. Back when men typically paid for everything, it was because they were the ones with all the jobs, all the education and all the money. Women weren't allowed to work outside the home or go to school. Now, women work outside the home and go to school. Therefore, we have our own money. Why would men still be paying for us? I agree it's a nice gesture, but why should it be expected? You're perfectly capable of paying for yourself, or for both of you.

smilesalot1969

sorry but i believe in 50/50. I don't see why the poor guy should be lumbered with paying for every date he goes on, you're both on the date, both getting the same benefit from it so why can't you both pay!! My boyfriend felt that he should pay for everything when we first met and still offers now but he's accepted my wish to be an equal and will respect my wishes even if it is reluctantly sometimes.
I pity any poor guy who is just dating rather than in a relationship if he's landed with having to feed and entertain every woman he meets, he may as well just send donations to a third world country!! You want popcorn?? BUY YOUR OWN!!

YaGigi

What were you women fighting for? Equal rights of what?

Women and men work, and make equal money, equal job opportunities, equal educational opportunities. A wife brings the same amount of money as her husband, often even more (but not too much, it can hurt his feelings).

But men are stronger physically. They don't have babies, don't go through this trauma for a body to carry, deliver a baby and get back to normal. And in 6 weeks run back to work otherwise loosing a job.
And still traditionally women cook and lean up the house, and do the groceries mostly. Men do it too but it's mostly women's job.

And you say equal rights? Where's that equal? That seems pretty unequal to me!

The point is that if it wasn't for a black woman doing a small gesture by sitting in front of the bus that started a huge movement...

or

A woman breaking the stereotype and paying for a meal and empowering a gender...

...the world would be a very stagnant place.

Don't worry, if I ever meet you in real life, I'll buy you food. And maybe even give you some cash...

Charloo1990

In the early days I think the guy should pay. They're supposed to woo you after all. Like I split with someone recently, we were going out for about 2 months and he had a lot more money than me and as im part time and paying to go to college he knew that. Anyways, we went out for the day and he wanted to go halves on the cost to park the car, im sorry but wtf!! I think this was the fifth date. I don't think a guy should have to pay for everything but in the early days like I say, you wanna be woo'd x

PHr34k0wt

A gentleman always pays.

THIS!!!!

no. a gentleman should always offer to pay.

so should a woman.

I totally agree with this.

themeaningofthemorning

What were you women fighting for? Equal rights of what?

Women and men work, and make equal money, equal job opportunities, equal educational opportunities. A wife brings the same amount of money as her husband, often even more (but not too much, it can hurt his feelings).

But men are stronger physically. They don't have babies, don't go through this trauma for a body to carry, deliver a baby and get back to normal. And in 6 weeks run back to work otherwise loosing a job.
And still traditionally women cook and lean up the house, and do the groceries mostly. Men do it too but it's mostly women's job.

And you say equal rights? Where's that equal? That seems pretty unequal to me!

Umad?

LOL.

Also: Here in Canada you get a year (not 6 weeks) of parental leave, and the mother OR father can take it, or you can split it up however you would like between the two of you.

So proud of my birth country! I was going to mention this earlier. Canada recognizes that the normative gender roles in homemaking are entirely ridiculous in this day and age and arranges mat leave to reflect that fact. Great, great country.

PamelaB43

I agree

YaGigi

This could be said to you as well! As someone who considers themselves as rather successful as well, and who has never had an issue finding dates or men happy to pay for my meals, I still think it's ridiculous to expect it of them (or to allow them!) to pay every time. If you were so against those equal rights you wouldn't be an ivy league graduate or an executive at your company because you'd be home full time, uneducated, cooking, cleaning and doing whatever your man told you to do because you didn't have the same rights he does.

Well said.

Again. You're talking about equal political and civil rights.
That's completely different. You guys keep confusing it

But it's not. Back when men typically paid for everything, it was because they were the ones with all the jobs, all the education and all the money. Women weren't allowed to work outside the home or go to school. Now, women work outside the home and go to school. Therefore, we have our own money. Why would men still be paying for us? I agree it's a nice gesture, but why should it be expected? You're perfectly capable of paying for yourself, or for both of you.

Yes, I'm capable, and I pay for myself when I'm with friends, I can pay for everyone, it's not a big deal, if I feel like treating my friends to a good dinner. Often we even fight for who's going o pay for everyone. It's in our culture.

But if I'm on a date with a man, and I expect him to be MY man, and be romantic with him, and have future with him, I can't imagine paying. It's like cutting off his balls. He wouldn't be a man in my eyes anymore. Man is someone I can rely on in any case.

MiCool90

What were you women fighting for? Equal rights of what?

Women and men work, and make equal money, equal job opportunities, equal educational opportunities. A wife brings the same amount of money as her husband, often even more (but not too much, it can hurt his feelings).

But men are stronger physically. They don't have babies, don't go through this trauma for a body to carry, deliver a baby and get back to normal. And in 6 weeks run back to work otherwise loosing a job.
And still traditionally women cook and lean up the house, and do the groceries mostly. Men do it too but it's mostly women's job.

And you say equal rights? Where's that equal? That seems pretty unequal to me!

The point is that if it wasn't for a black woman doing a small gesture by sitting in front of the bus that started a huge movement...

or

A woman breaking the stereotype and paying for a meal and empowering a gender...

...the world would be a very stagnant place.

Don't worry, if I ever meet you in real life, I'll buy you food. And maybe even give you some cash...

your comments about the Civil Rights and Feminist movements speak for itself

Laces_0ut

Don't worry, if I ever meet you in real life, I'll buy you food. And maybe even give you some cash...

you are very fixated on food...especially free food...you really should think about that.

PamelaB43

I totally agree with you

AsellusReborn

Wait wait wait...you're upset...that he won't give you a free meal...and he's the cheap one? :huh:


Priorities. If you want someone who treats you equally, you have to act like an equal. If you want a caretaker, you can't complain when he doesn't treat you like an equal partner.

taunto

Don't worry, if I ever meet you in real life, I'll buy you food. And maybe even give you some cash...

you are very fixated on food...especially free food...you really should think about that.

In all honesty though.... so am I

Anyone got a cheesecake?!!!