Why are you single?

Options
1…910121415…29

Replies

  • Surfrider
    Surfrider Posts: 364 Member
    Options
    Last serious relationshp came to an abrupt halt when we couldnt settle for living in her home country (England) or mine (US). I then quickly went into another relationship with a smoking hot, though completely bat**** crazy girl! After the last two, I figured I have wasted enough time. I am now focused on me and getting back into physical and emotional shape. I am not actively seeking a relationship at all, but I am not opposed to one if something interesting comes along. I am 35 in a few weeks, its time to do things right this time.
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
    Options
    I'm not currently single, however, before I met my current boyfriend, I was 'dating' for 3 1/2 years. It took me a year and a half to get over my ex fiancé because he had messed with my head. From the age of 14, I hadn't been single for more then 6 months and that was a long time. Girls in highschool and college would make bets on how long I would be single for. I had boyfriends like crazy and was a 'slut'... the only virgin in my group of friends, but still a 'slut'.

    I dated a terrible person at the age of 18 who was abusive, physically and mentally. I had lost my virginity to him which was why I stayed with him, young and stupid, I know. We were together for a year and a half with a lot of on and offs. After he beat the hell out of me one day and almost killed me, I phoned the police and eventually put him in jail, I was almost 20.

    I then met a guy who I just wanted a fling with because I wanted an escape and just to rebel. We ended up having a disfunctional relationship, I was really messed up and thought he was going to hit me when we argued and he would yell at me and call me 'white trash'. He cheated on me all the time and I didn't know about it until after 2 1/2 years. We were broken up and his best friend told me. His dad passed and stupid me went running to his rescue while I was getting to know a great guy. We ended up back together for another 2 years of drama. He adopted Hailey, my dog, and I now have her and she's 7 1/2 because he didn't take care of her. He wanted the couch instead.

    I then was a shooter girl at a strip club and met the door man, security guy, pursued me to no end! He was after me like white on rice. He was 3 years younger than I was, he was 21 I was 24 and was absolutely crazy for me. I pushed him away, which, of course, made him want me even more, and we ended up together. He bought me a $500.00 watch for our ONE MONTH anniversary, no red flags went off (dumb) and he proposed after 4 months, I accepted after a lot of struggle between head and heart. He ended up ending things with me after a year, I was completely devestated and he kept me on a string. He decided - yes he decided - we could date again and he ended things with me again and I was a loonie toon. Absolutely psycho and I won't denie that women do go insane because I know I was at this point. I ignored him and he would contact me after I moved almost 2 hours away for school. His step father had passed and I went to see his mom 2 months later and he was at home, I thought he was working. We watched a movie together, fooled around, I refused to sleep with him. I then found out the girl he was 'friends' with while he and I were together was his girlfriend. He cheated on her with me and denied it. That's what made me finally get over him.

    I dated, I wasn't ready for anything serious and hurt a lot of guys. I was the girl that was pretty care free and just wanted to have 'fun'. I had 3 partners over the years I would use just for sex and tell them to leave in the morning and would only contact when I wanted my fix. I honestly thought all guys were the same because they just wanted me for sex. I then decided enough was enough and started to take myself more seriously. I took every guy I met with a grain of salt and gave them a really hard time about dating me. Some pursued me to no end and spent so much money on me it was disgusting. Others, would give up. I decided to give myself when I met a good one and they would always tell me "You're way too good for me!" and things would end - I stopped the chase and they got bored. Others, I wouldn't give more then a first date, some a month and I would just end it because I knew it wasn't going to progress. The young ones LOVE ME! I dated so many younger guys (up to 9 years younger) and I dated older guys as well but they just wanted sex, that I wouldn't give them.

    Finally, I met my current boyfriend. Honestly, I wasn't an easy catch and he tells me this ALL THE TIME! He said "If I had done the same thing to you when we met, you would have told me to get lost a long time ago!" and he's right. We started being monogomous right off the bat, but he chased me for a good 2 months. I was crazy for him the night that I met him, but didn't let him know. Now we've been together for just over a year and a half and I want to settle down with him, he tells me I'm in a hurry and I'm pushing him. So the drama continues...
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
    Options
    To all the women who don't want to "settle," what exactly are you looking for? Haven't met the millionaire fitness model yet or something? Stop being so picky. Find someone you like spending time with who's not an a**hole. It's not rocket science. Decent guys are out there. We're not all perfect. Deal with it.

    Never settle for anything less than what you deserve... that was my quote when I "a gem yet to be discovered" - not single.

    When I said that, I meant I wanted to be with someone that had most of my wants and all of my needs. Someone that was 'perfect' for me, not someone I was going to 'put up with'. When women say they won't settle, that just means they don't want a bullsh*t relationship like they had in the past and they need to possibly sort out some emotional issues they still have. I know that's how I felt.
  • Cyndi1
    Cyndi1 Posts: 484 Member
    Options
    To all the women who don't want to "settle," what exactly are you looking for? Haven't met the millionaire fitness model yet or something? Stop being so picky. Find someone you like spending time with who's not an a**hole. It's not rocket science. Decent guys are out there. We're not all perfect. Deal with it.

    I can't answer for the other women, but for me settling is turning a blind eye to red flags, forgiving someone who lies and cheats, or putting in 110% when your partner doesn't even come close.

    I've done all those things, which in my mind is 'settling' because I have alot of love to give and really hoped and thought I could love enough for the both of us.

    Thankfully now I'm older and wiser but when I say I won't settle, it absolutely has nothing to do with looks, rather integrity and commitment to the relationship.


    Amen, its not about money, its not about ripped abs- its about someone who can build the relationship together- not afraid of an independent , confident woman. Cant settle- need the one who will challenge my mind, body and soul....
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    Options
    I'm single because as others have said, I'm not the perfect guy... My standards aren't sky high, I'm just looking for a chick that weights less than me, doesn't have any kids, and is Independent..
    I am very independent, have a life, a good job, a car, and a generally nice and respectable guy.. I don't have Ryan Gosling looks and thats what girls are holding out for in their 20's.. that or some guy that treats em like crap, doesn't have a job, and is abusive, but hey they look good.. Oh and I don't do drama, this isnt Jersey Shore.. I don't need to fight 10 guys cause you said so.
  • thatjulesgirl
    thatjulesgirl Posts: 200 Member
    Options
    To all the women who don't want to "settle," what exactly are you looking for? Haven't met the millionaire fitness model yet or something? Stop being so picky. Find someone you like spending time with who's not an a**hole. It's not rocket science. Decent guys are out there. We're not all perfect. Deal with it.

    A misanthropic, agoraphobic conspiracy theorist with a 'vague' attitude towards commitment, a rapier sharp wit (or ability to tell truly terrible 'Dad' jokes - awesome) and brilliant massage technique. Definitely don't give a crap about what they look like (unless they look like a serial killer / creeper)... :huh: :flowerforyou:
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
    Options
    Because I like bad boys! xD
  • stevewynjones
    stevewynjones Posts: 1,143 Member
    Options
    I'm a ****!

    simple.
  • Papalov100
    Papalov100 Posts: 1,593 Member
    Options
    Because it's hard for me to find the right guy but the other thing is that how can a guy fall in love with someone with special
    Needs ? I had a boyfriend but all he wanted was to have sex and i want to finsh school and also I want a great Christian guy I
    Go to church every week . I've been single all my life and I'm in my 20s . I'm ready to meet someone special .
  • Coffeeholic8
    Coffeeholic8 Posts: 270 Member
    Options
    Because my wife died 18 months ago. That's also the reason why I ended up on here which has helped me to make changes, I am starting to think I'm ready to make changes with regards to being single.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Options
    I don't have time to open up this pandora's box..
  • evereadysmile
    evereadysmile Posts: 137
    Options
    To all the women who don't want to "settle," what exactly are you looking for? Haven't met the millionaire fitness model yet or something? Stop being so picky. Find someone you like spending time with who's not an a**hole. It's not rocket science. Decent guys are out there. We're not all perfect. Deal with it.

    Not perfect is fine. I don't need handsome or rich. I need not an *kitten*, not saddled with a ****ton of baggage from his divorce he's still bitter about, not an alcoholic, not cheater and a liar, not misogynist. I need all those things plus someone who is intellectually and politically compatible with me who shares my interests. You get to be my age and that pool of single guys is pretty limited. And no, I won't settle for less than that.
  • AsrarHussain
    AsrarHussain Posts: 1,424 Member
    Options
    Iv always been single never had a GF but i will find 1 day got to keep up hope
  • willyc17
    willyc17 Posts: 21
    Options
    Wow there are some terribly heart breaking stories in here. That wasn't my intention when I posted the topic. That being said, my reasons are silly.

    I know I'm super young but it is crazy to be the only one left from my group of friends who isn't married, has kids, or a professional job out of college (I graduate in a few weeks). I spend a lot of Friday and Saturday nights home alone haha. It's pretty sad.
  • RosscoBoscko
    RosscoBoscko Posts: 632 Member
    Options
    Not perfect is fine. I don't need handsome or rich. I need not an *kitten*, not saddled with a ****ton of baggage from his divorce he's still bitter about, not an alcoholic, not cheater and a liar, not misogynist. I need all those things plus someone who is intellectually and politically compatible with me who shares my interests. You get to be my age and that pool of single guys is pretty limited. And no, I won't settle for less than that.

    Well if you applied that to my ex and me: i'm not handsome or rich, i'm not an *kitten*****, do have a bit of mental baggage, but that's about myself not anyone else, and my ex knew about that before we got together, I like a drink but not an alcoholic, would never cheat or lie to the person I am with, definitely not misogynistic. I am allegedly intelligent and I don't state my political views unless someone asks about them, I was happy to accept she already had 3 kids and wouldn't want more, and we have a lot of similar interests and friends. but she still decided couldn't "carry a relationship" with me, but seems fine to try with others. so there's obviously something else that I don't have that women are looking for.
  • AwesomeMoJo
    AwesomeMoJo Posts: 1,145 Member
    Options
    Wow there are some terribly heart breaking stories in here. That wasn't my intention when I posted the topic. That being said, my reasons are silly.

    I know I'm super young but it is crazy to be the only one left from my group of friends who isn't married, has kids, or a professional job out of college (I graduate in a few weeks). I spend a lot of Friday and Saturday nights home alone haha. It's pretty sad.

    Sweetie...step outsdie your box once in a while. Go out alone..I have done it many a time..and sometimes you meet some interesting and fun people...other times...you are glad you are alone...lol...

    It is also a good thing to do when building up (or building back) your self-confidence....just go to grab a coffee at Starbucks alone or even a movie...after you do it the first time...it gets easier and you start to feel more comfortable in your skin...and after that meeting someone should be easy...then after meting a few of the wrongs "someones"...you will meet that right one.

    It is a process...you are young...go live life...try something new every week that you haven't done before..no matter how big or small...I it a simple thing (though not always easy)...you will feel a difference within yourself..I promise.
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
    Options
    Relationships are too much work. First sign of drama and I run. I'm much better at entertaining myself :smile:
  • evereadysmile
    evereadysmile Posts: 137
    Options
    Well if you applied that to my ex and me: i'm not handsome or rich, i'm not an *kitten*****, do have a bit of mental baggage, but that's about myself not anyone else, and my ex knew about that before we got together, I like a drink but not an alcoholic, would never cheat or lie to the person I am with, definitely not misogynistic. I am allegedly intelligent and I don't state my political views unless someone asks about them, I was happy to accept she already had 3 kids and wouldn't want more, and we have a lot of similar interests and friends. but she still decided couldn't "carry a relationship" with me, but seems fine to try with others. so there's obviously something else that I don't have that women are looking for.

    No, there's something you don't have that *THAT* woman was looking for. I don't know. Maybe she had expectations that she never voiced and when you failed to read her mind, then you simply failed. Which is her problem not yours.

    Again relationships are work, sometimes it's just too hard to juggle that. Which is more why I'm single. My comment here was about resenting being told that "not settling" means I'm waiting for a handsome millionaire.
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
    Options
    I've been single my entire life. Between school, being introvert and shy, and not having the self-confidence, I never was able to develop a relationship with a man on any level. I went on my first date at age 24 years old, but I am not willing to settle until I get the man I want to be with.
  • Papalov100
    Papalov100 Posts: 1,593 Member
    Options
    Willyc for some people it's hard and for other people they are shy but that's ok I was shy once then I broke that box now I'm a out going kind of person

Categories