Major Blow to My Confidence Today-Rude People

ashvegas99

I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore .

rompers16

Wow...very sad to see that people can be so ignorant of their own rudeness, or maybe she just didn't care. You can't change how people act, but you can change how you re-act to them, so next time give em the finger..lol.

ashvegas99

Oh believe me, I wanted to shoot her a bird so badly and call her a ***** so badly, but I didn't. My husband told me she looked super humiliated, which was enough for me I guess.

Kendrazombie

When I was pregnant with my daughter people constantly told me I looked big enough to be having triplets. Even had someone argue with me about it. People can be insensitive and rude. Sorry you had to deal with that.

firelle

I can't believe she kept going, though... .Screw that lady, and just keep doing you! I store it all in my tummy too, everyone asks when I'm due Ignore them and just whip out onto the beach this summer! Remember, that's what these cold months are for: breaking a sweat and don't go too intense just cuz of what she said. you could burn out.

RoadsterGirlie

If it makes you feel better, I'm sure she felt worse than you did.

Ugh - sorry that happened.

ambervaldez79

That is awful. I work at a small doctor's office with three other women. We are all overweight. people say things to the heavier women about being heavy and usually the patients that make the comments are obese as well!!!!

Oh2BeMaintaining

Don't beat yourself up over it, shake it off and take this one day at a time. Think about where you want to be 6 months from now and concentrate on that! You can do this!!

Michellerawrrr

OP I am so SORRY that happened to you. People SUCK!! I know how terrible you feel! I had this happen to me and it's what kick started my weight loss last year. Hold your head high and let it fuel you. Who knows maybe in a few months from now you will see that awful person again and they will be rendered speechless by your transformation! :flowerforyou:

YoungDoc2B

WTF..who says "you only look 3 months pregnant" after you made it clear that you're not pregnant nor have any kids? That was grounds to deck her in the face.....

lovechicagobears

I will never, ever understand why some people think it's perfectly acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant. Besides the obvious error of someone simply being overweight, what if that person is trying to conceive and having issues? What if they just lost a baby? There are so many cans of worms in that question - I never, ever bring it up.

Tina2Cats

I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore .

Like you, I get comments like that because I carry my weight or my overweight in my stomach so some people have asked me if I am pregnant or asked "when are you due"? When I said "I am not pregnant" One dumbell had the gull to say "you are fat enough be pregnant". I looked at her and smiled to be polite, but I wanted to slam her against a wall. Some people have such gull!! But, I know the humiliation only too well. That and other fat comments can make us lose our confidence, but I won't let it stop me. Now, I just see it as others making stupid comments and being ignorant. We are taking action and doing something about our weight loss. Be glad. I know I am.

meshashesha2012

id have asked her in a really condescending baby voice if she needed a ride back to her group

Nerdy_Rose

The only time it is socially acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant is when the baby is crowning.

Windy_

Some people are dilholes.

DontStopB_Leakin

Some people are dilholes.

^^Pretty much this.

Sorry this happened.

pouncepet

Here here!! And even then you should just politely comment that the baby looks adorable with no references to the mother and thr state of her physique!!! I hesitate to make statements to my cousins body and we are family! How strangers feel it is alright confuses and terrifies me for when I decide I want to try for children.

RedHeadDevotchka

Ouch! I mean, there's no way to cover yourself after that. To try and back pedal and say you only look a little preggers, she clearly lost her mind

vestarocks

The only time it is socially acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant is when the baby is crowning.

That's my approach. I've had people assume I was pregnant. Nope just have fibroid tumors that make me look 6 months pregnant. That usually shuts them up.

I did have a client once ask me when I was due (I WAS 7 months pregnant). I told him I wasn't pregnant and he turns 30 shades of red before I let him off the hook and told him I was pregnant. It was mean but funny.

moon791991

why do you feel so bad? you didnt do anything wrong... only pay attention to what serves you and be happy.

Karrie262

Don't beat yourself up over it, shake it off and take this one day at a time. Think about where you want to be 6 months from now and concentrate on that! You can do this!!

^^ Best advise. I'm sorry this happened. Use it as fuel

mcnuss911

I have had that happen more than once (always at the grocery store!) Don't let it bother you. I have had people ask me that even when I was right out of high school at 120 lbs. I swear there is something about the grocery store lol I was in the cereal isle and checking some captian crunch to see if there was wheat in it ( wanted something sweet, but didnt want to eat a pint of Ben and Jerrys) so I was walking out of the store and this skinny blond behind me (walking to her Mercedes) says "Captain Crunch thats real healthy" oh the things I wanted to say back to her.

Sherbog

You are at the right place. MFP works and there are so many supportive folks here. I remember someone asking me if I had knee problems with my weight...I cried and got motivated.

Sorry you had to run into such a rude person.

dakotababy

I have been asked this more than once in my life - and it hurts. I wish people would stop being such idiots. IF this ever happens again - have a response ready. Mine is to quickly reply and turn it back onto them. "No I'm not pregnant - but surely you are at least 8...9 months along right?" and RUN!

cass8908

Use her rude behavior and hurtful remarks as motivation. People who say hurtful things to others only do it because they feel bad about themselves. You are already on the right track by using this app / website. One time a lady asked me if I was pregnant with twins. It hurts really bad when outsiders or even insiders comment on subjects that we are sensitive about. In the long run you will be successful and they will still be bitter and rude. Good luck to you on your weight loss journey

PikaKnight

Next time just turn it around on them and say, "Why? Were you looking for someone go to Lamaze classes with you?"

If they don't get it, at least you'll get a little laugh at it.

bridgelene

Sorry it happened.....and NOT sorry for her if she was embarrassed. She should be. Not only did she get rude in asking, but she persisted.....and then persisted again. Get it through your thick skull, woman!

I've been asked that once before. I just grinned an antagonizing, mischievous grin at the woman and said "No. I'm just fat.". She turned as red as I've ever seen a person, and scurried away quickly

If there's a next time, I might play into it depending on my mood. Push it out a little more, put my hands on it......offer to see if the person can feel the baby kicking.....(haha that would be hilarious if they "could" feel it I guess it just depends on how testy i'm feeling and if I want to play with them or embarass them :-P

But.......who knows if it'll happen again. Maybe, maybe not. It somehow took til over 290lbs to get that question, and I've lost 11lbs.....headed in the right direction, lol

What bothered me more was when we were traveling, airport security asked me if my girlfriend (why not talk to her? yes, she's blind, but she's not deaf, LOL) was pregnant before metal detectors. Double edge sword there. I realize that going through them may be -ISH if you are pregnant (?), but kinda rude, and even worse.......she was anorexic and bulimic for years and is finally in recovery. Apparently per the place she was in treatment, when someone is anorexic often the fat will first develop in the abdominal area when they're refeeding, as the body's way of prioritizing and protecting the vital organs, and then it will distribute to other areas. So yeah, she did look kind of pregnant bc it had gone there, but not as much the other areas but.....

It was incredibly triggering for her Plus.....dude. Blind, not deaf.

heidimaggott78

A random woman went up to my sister and rubbed her tummy once. She wasn't pregnant, just bloated...

dunlunicor

At my HW, I was at a bus-stop and a complete stranger asked me when I was due, and when I told him I wasn't pregnant, he proceeded to ARGUE with me about whether or not I was pregnant, because I "sure LOOKED pregnant". I laughed it off, but I wanted to give him a swift kick in the pants.

chubbygirl253

When I worked in a plus-size store a customer asked me if I was pregnant. She was fatter than I was! I told her no and I also told her I think it's very poor taste to ask someone that. It's tacky. She thought I was rude, I think she was rude. Guess we were even. I'm of the mindset that unless a woman is actually crowning you dont ask her if shes pregnant! People can be so insensitive. Dont let it derail you. If you can let it fuel you further. Thats what I did Friday night when I was preparing to do my 1st 5k Saturday morning and my mom said I'm not a real runner. Maybe I don't run marathons and I'm not very fast but I am a runner! And you are NOT pregnant and you are on your way to a healthier you. Ignore anyone who dares to get in your way. And dont give that lady another thought. You'll lose your belly fat and she'll probably always be a jerk.

Kenzietea2

I would never would ask a woman if she was pregnant, even if I saw the baby kick. Especially if you see someone who only looks in the early stages of pregnancy! Sorry that happened OP. Just use it as fuel to keep going!