Major Blow to My Confidence Today-Rude People

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  • Wreak_Havoc
    Wreak_Havoc Posts: 597
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    Free Zinger:

    I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet.

    Yes, I HAVE used it.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I hope some day when Im pregnant, everyone constantly tells me I look like a 19 year old who's lost weight.
  • 8goodgirl0
    8goodgirl0 Posts: 127 Member
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    What if you're fat and ugly?
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
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    she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant.

    Maybe she was just trying to make small talk. I hear some people do that but it could be an urban legend...

    It doesn't seem to me that she was being deliberately rude simply to try and hurt you. She made a social faux pas and didn't know how to deal with it. None of that really is something to be concerned over.
    Agreed. You can't ask a female if they are pregnant anymore? What is this world coming to? She should have ended it at the first no.
  • nhradeuce
    nhradeuce Posts: 168 Member
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    The only time it is socially acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant is when the baby is crowning.
    This is the rule I always follow. Not worth taking the chance on being wrong.
  • JanaCanada
    JanaCanada Posts: 917 Member
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    Do NOT...I repeat...do NOT let that ignorant idiot's comments shake your confidence! You are a beautiful, vivacious young woman with a lovely husband. Idiot was likely jealous. Hmmph! Shame on her.

    Believe it or not, I got this same rude comment this summer. I'm usually a very passive, shy person, but I responded with the truth: "I'm 53 freakin' years old, in menopause, and you're a gigantic *kitten*!" Her comment was the last straw and that's when I joined MFP. Living well is the best revenge.
  • Keena1947
    Keena1947 Posts: 4
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    I agree that people like that must have some issues of their own to be so insensitive. Just remember that it is not how people see you, but how you see yourself. In this case you are working on your weight and health. I doubt she is working on her mental health or manners!
  • libbymcbain
    libbymcbain Posts: 206 Member
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    Sorry that you had to put up with that rudeness, especially as you have made a positive start here. Well done on your loss so far.

    It really freaks me out how some people view other people's bodies as public property, especially around fertility (and especially if you are recently married, I am guessing from your profile pic that maybe you are). Sample questions:
    *Are you pregnant?
    *Are you trying to get pregnant
    *How many kids do you want
    *When are you thinking of starting a family (accompanied with comments of a "Well, you're neither of you getting any younger you know")

    This happened to me as well, a year or so ago. We went to see a house about buying it, and the lady vendor asked when I was due. Soon as I stepped in the door. Guess what? That house stayed for sale a while longer.

    It was one of the things that motivated me (eventually).

    However, I did notice, during the rest of the viewing, that she was generally rude, snobbish, condescending and downright unpleasant. So I'm guessing life wasn't actually going to be too much of a picnic for her in a lot of ways.
  • RavenBeauty87
    RavenBeauty87 Posts: 83 Member
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    ya when I was at my biggest some skinny thing asked me how far long I was I said "I'm not pregnant I'm just fat." Her mother just looked the other directions and the girl said "Oh uh no I meant you just have that glow. Do you have children?" I said "No" in a sharp manner. Then she wouldn't shut up and started rubbing her belly saying "I'm five months pregnant and I feel so fat!" uh she still looked like she weighed 100lbs and there wasn't a bump at all. I held back the tears but cried like a baby when I got home. I would never say things like that to people and I wish I knew how others do it. They must be crazy so they don't care.
  • PRprincess
    PRprincess Posts: 200 Member
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    That is awful. Some people are so oblivious to their rudeness! You this as motivation but don't burn yourself out at the gym because of her. I'm sure she feels like an idiot for not letting it go.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
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    This was one person.
    One clueless person.
    One insignificant person.

    This person should have no effect or impact on your life -- you don't know her, she doesn't know you.

    This person should not be given the power to make you cry. Take that power away from her.
    And please reframe this -- today you didn't run into someone who damaged you by their misassumption -- today you ran into someone who is themselves damaged, in that they have no impulse control, a low EQ and IQ and an obvious vision problem.


    I find the best answer to any personal question from a stranger is "I'm sorry, do I know you?"
  • DebDebInCT
    DebDebInCT Posts: 9 Member
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    I can believe people can be rude and insensitive but I can't believe she kept going on. My advice just ignore those people, smile and keep going. You are doing a great job and don't let anyone take that feeling from you.
  • Kanohane
    Kanohane Posts: 112 Member
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    If she was being honest....people think it anyways and you can't stop that......if you don't like the truth, fix it...people who lie set you back...someone once asked if I was pregnant...I laughed and went on a diet...they dont ask anymore
  • Kanohane
    Kanohane Posts: 112 Member
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    fyi.....I once asked a lady if she was pregnant, rudeness was not the intention...I honestly thought she was. She laughed and said no, I'm just fat :D
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    try being a guy and being asked the OP question......
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Or you could take all this as a sign and motivation to change.... just saying - your reaction colors what happens next.

    You could work out or complain - I mean - i know you chose complain - but which do you think would have been a better choice?
  • CPAUTISM24
    CPAUTISM24 Posts: 32 Member
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    Hey, let this motivate you.....people can be so insensitive.:angry: But.........You can come out on top!!!!! Keep on keepin on!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • Suzyqall72
    Suzyqall72 Posts: 105
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    Sorry you had to go through that. Some people are just way too nosy for their own business. Just blow it off and keep on going.

    I have two autistic children, and I was in a grocery store once, and the lady a few registers over says to her husband, gee, I feel like I'm at the zoo. The clerk then says, spare the rod, spoil the child! I was so pissed off, I cried. That showed 'em. Well actually, it didn't show them anything. Now I think I would march right over there and set them straight. My point is: some people suck and that's the way it is.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore :(.

    Honestly, it sounds to me like you need to be more quipy. She was a *****, if someone is insulting you I find that an appropriate time to remind them of general etiquette and insult them back . . . in this case it would have to be her intelligence.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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