Major Blow to My Confidence Today-Rude People

crrc78

It must be something about today... a man who works in the kitchen at my school (and speaks little english) rubbed his belly and looked at mine with excitement --- implying that i'm pregnant. He didn't say the words, but it was almost worse that he just pointed. I've been struggling to push through a plateau for soooo long and this morning I told my husband that I'm so sick of feeling like crap despite all of my effort... and then this happens. I'm sorry that lady was both rude, and clueless to your social clues. Let's pick up and start over right now! They can suck it.

Amandamaslin

I regularly had the same problem as I have a hiatus hernia and was diagnosed with gastritis and a h pylori infection so I was extremely bloated most of the time. I worked in a pub also and kept getting asked when it was due. its very upsetting. I feel so much better now I have been diagnosed and undergoing treatment and the weight is dropping off. Keep at it lass but if your bloated it may be worth seeing the gp.

Colombianchick29

WTF..who says "you only look 3 months pregnant" after you made it clear that you're not pregnant nor have any kids? That was grounds to deck her in the face.....

SERIOUSLY! I agree! who says that!!

starfish1783

I'm so sorry that happened! What is it with people?? I went to pick up a prescription once and the pharmacist goes "When are you due?" I said "Due for what?" And she goes "Your baby." Umm... not pregnant, and you're filling my freaking birth control prescription!!!! It was over a high counter too and so many people were around. Some even gasped when I said I wasn't pregnant. Then she backtracked with "Oh, i'm sorry, it's just - you're glowing. You have that pregnant glow". I changed pharmacies and have never gone back because I was so mad. Ignorant a**holes!!!! :mad:

mandapanda001

I have made the mistake of asking someone this question about being pregnant but first off it was a friend and second when they said no, I said nothing more and felt totally mortified. Sorry you had to go through that experience. Just use it to fuel your motivation to lose the weight you want and then if you ever see her again just say guess who doesn't look pregnant now!! good luck on your weight loss journey!!

TheCaren

The good news is, when you're done, you will have a healthy body weight and feel good about your accomplishment. And that clerk will still be stupid. You win. :happy:

Seriously though, I know how hard it is to un-hear stupid comments that hurt us. :explode: But try and put that clerk's opinion in the heirarchy of whose opinions really matter to you. Stranger you see once a month when you shop? Not so high on the list. And if it was someone who was mentally challenged, you'd probably not take it as seriously as someone who is "normal". I think we can assume for the sake of argument that clerk is, at minimum, socially challenged. As much as it hurt to hear it, maybe a lesson is learned and the clerk won't make a stupid statement like that to another woman coming through the line, who is emotionally in a worse place than you and doesn't have MFP to turn to for support. So basically, you just took one for the team!

ebailey710

I've gotten this comment once, while standing in line at a grocery store. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, stood behind me and put his hands on my belly in sort of that stand cuddle thing. The lady behind me, whom I recognized from another store I used to frequent, asked "when is the baby due?" I was caught so off guard I had nothing to say besides "what baby?" Now I just get comments from the kids at the preschool I work for, like "you have babies in your belly" It seems to never end.

Phoenixchichima

sorry you had that. people are so weird. hey, at least now you know what kind of person she is & you dont have to bother with her. but you want to do teh weightloss for YOURSELF.

blackmantis

I thought only dudes do things like this.

juicy_cat

Am I the only person here that thinks you have over reacted a bit....I also carry my weight on my belly and someone once asked me if I was pregnant....to be fair my posture was bad, I was overweight and wearing a smocky kind of top....I thought it was quite amusing and it made me take a look at myself....not once did I consider the person to ignorant or rude...I looked pregnant...it seemed like a genuine question and I got over it.....I am bemused at why most people replying to this thread think this is an insulting comment...I bet she feels really bad about it and wanted the floor to open up....perhaps being more forgiving would help you move on... either that or have a look at how your hold yourself or what you are wearing....it would more likely be that than being overweight......good luck with the weight loss....try and not let folk bother you....

jofjltncb6

I have a life rule that covers this...unless I see actual baby parts protruding (or the woman says something like "I am pregnant" or more certain), I say nothing even remotely related to a pregnancy.

(And yeah, like most of my life rules, this one was born out of an unfortunate, less-than-optimal encounter from many decades ago.)

Lissa_M

I can completely relate. I get asked often when I am due. My response is always a confident, "Sorry, I'm not pregnant." which usually turns them bright red. I've learned that a complete stranger who is ignorant enough to ask another complete stranger if they are pregnant, isn't worth stressing over.

LaComadreja14

I'm sorry that happened to you! People suck, I had a co-worker once who said I looked good for being a mother and when I told her I was not a mother she insisted that I must be because of my 'pouch'!! ... And she doesn't get why I dislike her -_-

The most recent insult for me has been at the gym ironically enough... I am back on MFP for the first time today because I am trying to get back on top of my weight loss, part of getting back on top of my weight loss has been joining a gym- for the first time ever. Working put infront of people makes me very insecure but I felt I had to get over it to be where I want to be. I go with my fiancee so we go when he gets out of work (about 10pm) which I like since the gym is basically barren. The second night we stared, though, there were a few teenagers there. One of them told another I was cute and the other one says (loud enough for people in hong-kong to hear, mind you) "ugh that old jiggly lady? You're so disgusting dude." and he was POINTING at me when he said it. First of all, I'm only 24, second WTF dude it's a GYM why do you think I'm here in the first place?!

Needless to say, I fled into the locker-room in tears I almost quit the gym entirely since my fear became a humiliating reality- but fiancee convinced me other wise. He didn't understand why it bothered me so much since it was a 'stupid comment from a dumb kid.' I guess I just couldn't get past the cruelty of it.

iampanda

Am I the only person here that thinks you have over reacted a bit....I also carry my weight on my belly and someone once asked me if I was pregnant....to be fair my posture was bad, I was overweight and wearing a smocky kind of top....I thought it was quite amusing and it made me take a look at myself....not once did I consider the person to ignorant or rude...I looked pregnant...it seemed like a genuine question and I got over it.....I am bemused at why most people replying to this thread think this is an insulting comment...I bet she feels really bad about it and wanted the floor to open up....perhaps being more forgiving would help you move on... either that or have a look at how your hold yourself or what you are wearing....it would more likely be that than being overweight......good luck with the weight loss....try and not let folk bother you....

I agree. They didn't mean any harm, they were just ignorant. And like someone below said, if a complete stranger is ignorant enough to ask another complete stranger if they are pregnant, they aren't worth stressing over. It's a common mistake, and while they really should be more considerate, it has happened to a lot of people. Don't freak out. Also, if you do anything like placing your hand on your belly, that can often send the "pregnancy message", because pregnant women (like myself) often do that. I am very sorry that your feelings were hurt, but a stranger shouldn't have that much control over your feelings. Keep your chin up.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I have a life rule that covers this...unless I see actual baby parts protruding (or the woman says something like "I am pregnant" or more certain), I say nothing even remotely related to a pregnancy.

(And yeah, like most of my life rules, this one was born out of an unfortunate, less-than-optimal encounter from many decades ago.)

My husband also has this rule, also born out of an unfortunate incident that not only included her crying but also me yelling at him when he told me what happened and was looking for sympathy.

sarahrbraun

I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore .

funny story...my last 2 pregnancies were predicted by men who I was NOT married to.

When I got pregnant with my almost 13 year old, I was working as a waitress. I had a bunch of regulars that I knew pretty well. I had JUST gone to VS and gotten a new bra, and I felt like it looked good. About a week or so later I walked by one of my regulars, Mikey, who looks at me and says " hmmm. did you get a new bra, or are you knocked up?" I was pretty shocked Mikey would say something like that, but I told him that as far as I knew, I was NOT pregnant. Within a month I had to go tell him that I was indeed pregnant.

8 years ago I was trying to lose 20lbs or so, but ended up gaining 30lbs due to undiagnosed insulin resistance. Right about the time I was diagnosed, I went to visit the nursing home I used to work at and I ran into our grumpy french chef, Gerard. He asked me when I was due. Both of us were mortified when I said that I wasn't pregnant. 6 weeks later I conceived my youngest son!

Although it hurt that Gerard thought I was pregnant, I tried not to be bitter about it. As a matter of fact, I went in later and told him he jinxed me and my pregnancy was HIS fault

GRINWITHIN

People are stupid an often show no class like in the woman in the food store.

When I was traveling for business last year, I was trying to do some shopping after hours before going to my hotel. I had a big event coming up and knew I would not have time to get everything done when I returned home.

The sales clerk immediately notices I am from out of town. I tell her I am in town on business and the conversation while looking for an outfit for the special occasion. She asked how many children I had, which was not necessarily offensive. But when I told her I did not have any children ... then she asked what was wrong with me - at my age I should have 3 or 4.

I told her I decided to have a career rather than become a breeding cow. As I walked away, she was telling another woman that I must be gay and made anti-gay remarks at me for focusing on career rather than having a traditional family.

Listen to the Jennifer Livingston story, a newscaster who claimed her weight issues were a bad influence on her children. Her words are inspiring about anti-bullying and the ignorance of people like the woman who made the inappropriate comments to you. You find her statement on You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUOpqd0rQSo

focus4fitness

holy crap what a dumba$$. Talk about dig a hole and keep on digging.


If it makes you feel any better she probably says stupid things to people all the time and people probably avoid her like the plague.

JanaCanada

Am I the only person here that thinks you have over reacted a bit....I also carry my weight on my belly and someone once asked me if I was pregnant....to be fair my posture was bad, I was overweight and wearing a smocky kind of top....I thought it was quite amusing and it made me take a look at myself....not once did I consider the person to ignorant or rude...I looked pregnant...it seemed like a genuine question and I got over it.....I am bemused at why most people replying to this thread think this is an insulting comment...I bet she feels really bad about it and wanted the floor to open up....perhaps being more forgiving would help you move on... either that or have a look at how your hold yourself or what you are wearing....it would more likely be that than being overweight......good luck with the weight loss....try and not let folk bother you....

I agree. They didn't mean any harm, they were just ignorant. And like someone below said, if a complete stranger is ignorant enough to ask another complete stranger if they are pregnant, they aren't worth stressing over. It's a common mistake, and while they really should be more considerate, it has happened to a lot of people. Don't freak out. Also, if you do anything like placing your hand on your belly, that can often send the "pregnancy message", because pregnant women (like myself) often do that. I am very sorry that your feelings were hurt, but a stranger shouldn't have that much control over your feelings. Keep your chin up.

How do you know what the stranger's intentions were?? The thing is, you don't. Maybe they asked innocently enough, maybe not....but either way, that is sooooo not the point! The point is, at the most, every person on this planet has an expectation of privacy...and at the least, an expectation of respect for personal space. Bottom line, it's nobody's damned business. When a stranger or anyone else crosses that line and violates another person's privacy and/or personal space, then they get what's coming to them, and in this case, it should be a lesson in sensitivity, regardless of whether it's delivered via kind words or a tongue lashing.

Jerrypeoples

as someone who assumes everyone is a *kitten* until the prove otherwise, is it possible that this person was just trying to be genuinely nice and when her "mistake" was corrected she got so flustered and tried to turn a bad situation into something a little better but got even more flustered?

i really find it hard to believe that everyone here was never in that situation before and while trying to make things better only made it worse.