Those of you who have or have had a B**chy teenage girl

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  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    Listen to her. Her point of view. Don't think you're always right.

    As a teenager that's all I can say.

    I've met my fair share of teenagers that thought THEY were always right.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    Wait kids get away with this ****?

    My mom would have buried me in the everglades if I had ever dared yell at her. Its about respect. Did I cry and have the hormonal teenager things going on sure. Did I disrespect my parent, only in my head where they couldn't see. I have a 9 yr old girl and a 6 yr old boy and let me tell you when they hit teenage years they will treat me with respect or suffer the consiquences. Remind your child that all you are legal required to provide them is food shelter and clothing and the first time they act out start taking the **** they love. Phone bye bye, computer bye bye, cool nonschool clothes oh those belong to me now. I remeber one time I came home and my mother had taken everything I owned out of my room besides my matress pj and school clothes and the encylopedia.. That was because I had gotten a C. Making my mom cry might have resulted in my death. You are not your childs friend you are there parent. If they dont hate you when they are a teenager your probably doing it wrong

    ^^Amen!
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,473 Member
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    girls are evil *****es, i wish i had all boys.
  • Helen_Luvnlife
    Helen_Luvnlife Posts: 230 Member
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    Yes it gets better. My daughter was a horrible teenager but we have a good relationship now. It won't happen tomorrow but just love her and it will happen.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,099 Member
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    I only read the first post, so....take this with a grain of salt...BTW, you should always take all my posts with a grain of salt.

    I would suggest you try to work this out with your daughter. If she is complaining about certain things, be willing to admit you may be wrong. Get some counseling for both of you - together. Any relationship that goes off the rails does so because of BOTH people. It's not all your daughter's fault.

    I can't believe you would post this type of thing about your daughter on a public forum with your picture attached to it. Very sad that it has come to this. I have to suspect you talk about a lot of people behind their backs, since you have done this. Not cool.
  • MissLuana
    MissLuana Posts: 356
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    Wait kids get away with this ****?

    My mom would have buried me in the everglades if I had ever dared yell at her. Its about respect. Did I cry and have the hormonal teenager things going on sure. Did I disrespect my parent, only in my head where they couldn't see. I have a 9 yr old girl and a 6 yr old boy and let me tell you when they hit teenage years they will treat me with respect or suffer the consiquences. Remind your child that all you are legal required to provide them is food shelter and clothing and the first time they act out start taking the **** they love. Phone bye bye, computer bye bye, cool nonschool clothes oh those belong to me now. I remeber one time I came home and my mother had taken everything I owned out of my room besides my matress pj and school clothes and the encylopedia.. That was because I had gotten a C. Making my mom cry might have resulted in my death. You are not your childs friend you are there parent. If they dont hate you when they are a teenager your probably doing it wrong


    Thank you!!!

    I saw a quote the other day that reminded me of my mom, "Don't let your tongue get your teeth knocked out!!!"

    We as parents have to be the first ones to teach our children about rules, consequences and a tad bit of fear. If a child doesn't fear and respect their parent's to some degree, they will not fear and respect anything else, such as the rules of society, etc. Be a parent first and a friend last. If she has no problem yelling at you, she probably has no problem yelling at teachers as well which can affect her education. She would probably have no problem yelling at a boss too which would affect her employment, making her a bum of a daughter, living with you, still being disrespectful. If you don't nip it in the bud, then no, you will never get past it. It'll be the person she is.
  • cmpollard01
    cmpollard01 Posts: 246
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    I am not blessed with children of my own, but my sister and I weren't always easy to deal with. I was a goodie goodie, but I had a sharp tongue just like most of my family. My mom & sister have such similar personalities, there were days I was more a referee than anything. She came from a family where you didn't talk back to your parents, and you could disagree without being a disrespectful brat. If you acted like a brat, you got whooped. I got grounded for my smart mouth more than once. So did my sister.

    Being a single mom, she feels like she didn't do everything "right," but she did the best she could with what she knew. She stood toe to toe with us and wouldn't let us get away with being disrepectful little demons. What worked for me? She let me know that she got it-she was once a teenaged girl too, but that she wasn't going to take my crap without dishing some out. Now? We have a great relationship, and I respect the fact that she was willing to draw that line in the sand.

    That said, it worked for me, but may not work for everyone. Truth be told, I think even the "best" kids have their moments (this comes from the straight-A, science club president, honor roll overachieving, showchoir/theatre nerd). Let her know you love her, you want what's best for her, and while you know you're going to disgree on lots of things at this stage, you aren't going to take her attitude problems without consequences. She can't act like that in the "real world," so don't let her do it with you.

    Best of luck to you!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,099 Member
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    We as parents have to be the first ones to teach our children about rules, consequences and a tad bit of fear. If a child doesn't fear and respect their parent's to some degree, they will not fear and respect anything else, such as the rules of society, etc. Be a parent first and a friend last. If she has no problem yelling at you, she probably has no problem yelling at teachers as well which can affect her education. She would probably have no problem yelling at a boss too which would affect her employment, making her a bum of a daughter, living with you, still being disrespectful. If you don't nip it in the bud, then no, you will never get past it. It'll be the person she is.

    Yes, you did.
    Wow. I have no words.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,691 Member
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    Though it's no always the case, am I wrong when I say that $%^*# teenage girls are reflections of what they are observing? I thought at one time I was "perfect" at talking to my young daughter. Then I watched a video of myself and the way I talked to her. I thought "what an *kitten*".
    I believe how we talk/engage with our kids, who they hang out with, and personality will all mold the kid into what you see now. Take time to reassess yourself as well because enforcement of just what you may think is right, may push them away further. Kids like to be talked to, not talked at.


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  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
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    I was b****y during my teen years; not quite as bad by age 17, but still did my fair share. My biggest complaint while I was growing up was that I felt like my feelings did not matter at all. I was also angry about the way they let my out-of-control older brother get away with everything, but were incredibly strict with me. I am sure my hormones did not help during that time, not to mention my mother was menopausal as well. It was very rough. For years, I don't think a day went by that we did not have a fight.

    Now at age 32, things are much better. I don't live with them, so that helps. They have lightened up a bit as well, and I have decided to make the best of our time together now that they are older (in their 70s). I figure if we have enough good memories now, it will hopefully overwrite most of the bad ones from my adolescence.

    I do believe it does get better. I guess my advice would be to make sure you do value her feelings and make sure she knows that you do. I think if my parents had been better communicators and my anger had been addressed more properly, things would have been much better. Not perfect, but better.
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
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    There's nothing wrong with laying out some rules and letting her know in advance what the consequences are. Sit her down and let her know this is not a conversation, it's a lecture. Which is one sided, ergo, you don't want to hear her opinion.

    1. If you raise your voice to me, I'm going to ask you politely once to lower your voice, and if you persist, the conversation is over. I don't care where we are or what you want or anything else. It's done.

    2. I am only going to ask you once to do something (dishes, clean room, vacuum, whatever). I will give you a time frame it is to be done in. If you fail to complete the task, there will be consequences and you will not like them and they will be non-negotiable.

    3. You will treat me with respect in my home and follow the rules in my home, or you will not live in my home. Is that clear? You don't have to like the rules, but you WILL follow them. And when you are 18 and work and can live on your own, I encourage you to go out into the world.

    I raised four kids by the way. And they were all teenagers at once. I feel your pain. It's not just daughters.
  • VogtAndrea
    VogtAndrea Posts: 236
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    Boundaries! My daughter tried that with me exactly ONE TIME.
    In order to show her that she had a very priviledged life we exposed her to alot of harsher elements. I actually started by removing things from her room that were not entitlements and gave her 24 hours with only basic necessities, grounded to her room. Then I walked her through a couple of blocks of the worst part of a big city.
    At that point she was told that if she continued to be rude and disrespectful, priviledges would be removed and we followed through on that.
    I'm very thankful that my daughter and I discussed things through. She was always encouraged to observe and talk about absolutely anything. The answer might have been that we'd discuss it later but we would do exactly that.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Does it ever get better? Mine is going to be 17 on Dec. 21st. I can't talk to her about anything without feeling like I have to walk on eggshells. She screamed at me last night on the phone and when I talked to her this morning about it and really expected an apology she just kept up the b**ch act and acted like she was better than that. This is the type of relationship that if it wasn't my daughter, I would be walking away from it.
    So I want to know, does it get better? Will she wake up one day and realize that she should be nicer to me? I feel like crying right now. She is my only child. My Mom and I have a great relationship and one day I want to have that with her, but right now I just want to have time away from her. I feel bad for even writing that.

    You're taking it too personally. Keep your feelings under wraps. It's not about you.
  • jessicathomas15
    jessicathomas15 Posts: 46
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    I'm 19 and I can tell you me and mum were kinda like that too a couple of years back. She sat me down one day and told me how she felt. We had a long talk and both cried as she explained when her mum died in her 20's she regretted the arguments they had. That made me think and I made more of an effort to be with her. She also stepped back a bit and I actually found that I missed her attention and made more of an effort then too! Good luck, just know that it will pass and it will help if you are honest with each other. I think it's normal, don't feel bad :)
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I mean... mine is 13. So I may see worse yet still... but when my daughter treats me like that, I let her know pretty quick that I won't tolerate being disrespected. Sometimes demanding respect is enough... sometimes it just makes her pissier. If she continues to be abusive to me, I just stay away from her until she gets it together. For the most part, she and I have a great relationship...

    but like I said... she is only 13. It might get worse.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    i was a jerk to my parents unil i hit about 23. then i figured out that the world didnt revolve around me. she'll come out of it, jsut keep loving her. when she yells just tell her you love her and ignore the anger. dont feed the b*tchness.
  • Galathea96
    Galathea96 Posts: 200 Member
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    She needs to fear the consequences of her actions. My sister who just turned 16 is 13 years younger than I am. She has her teenage drama moments but knows better than to act like an evil witch around anyone. In my family and especially the culture I was raised in we don't take crap from children.

    My sister doesn't even dare mouth off to me and has not raised her voice to me once in her life. She knows that I won't take her crap and freely admits that she's sort of scared of me even though she has never even seen me really mad at her. When she tries any teenage drama or *****iness most of the time just taking a look at her and speaking her name once is enough to make her snap out of it. Why? I can take apart her PC, revoke her social media accounts, disable her phone and make her clean toilets for weeks.

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