I Am Adam Lanzas Mother
Replies
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I usually dont reply, but after reading this article I feel the need to write something. I think that the problem stems from the beginning and the way the child is brought up. From a very young age. Children learn what they live, meaning they watch the parents and the people around them and that is how they develope and learn. I have seen it so many times in the grocery or department store where the child wants something and the parents say "No" and the child keeps on and on with the screaming and yelling with the parent trying to reason with them, (you cant reason with a child) you have to teach them right and wrong. I blame the system for alot of this, they took away the parents right to discipline children when they need to be corrected. I am talking about spankings. We arent allowed to give a child a spanking, so the parents are walking around and yelling at them over and over again or they just ignore them. So the child never learns that you cant act that way. So now you have the teachers in school trying to discipline them and they wont listen to them either, what did they expect. On top of that parents give them video games and electronics because they want them to go away and not bother them, it makes things quieter in the house, but just guess what this is doing to the child. Its much more than the guns in the house, we grew up with them in the house and we knew better not to touch them, because we were taught if you touch them your going to be in alot of trouble. Now society is wondering what has happened and they dont have any idea how to fix it. I say if your going to have children, start teaching them at a young age what you will put up with and what you wont put up with.0
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I'm british and I have to say, this latest shooting has affected me more than any other. These were children who had done nothing to deserve such a tragic ending, not to mention the ones who survived who will be traumatised for life. As to the article I read it yesterday and like others, my heart and respect goes out to those parents and families who have to deal with these things on a daily basis. Mental illness is something that has been swept under the carpet for too long and needs to be dealt with and soon.
As to the guns argument, we don't get much gun crime here in the UK but only really because of legislation that was brought about in the late 90's basically banning civilians from owning handguns. This happened as a direct result of a shooting in a primary school in Dunblane, Scotland. A man walked into the school and killed 16 children and their teacher before killing himself. The parents campaigned and 2 years later the new laws came into effect. Last year 0.3% of crime in this country was gun related. We have some of the strictest gun laws in the world. I'm not saying it's the whole answer, there's more to the story than any of us can possibly know, but surely those statistics have to say something. There will always be someone who is able to get hold of a gun illegally, that's just the way the world is, but by taking them out of common circulation then maybe we can lessen that risk. Just a thought from across the pond.0 -
I usually dont reply, but after reading this article I feel the need to write something. I think that the problem stems from the beginning and the way the child is brought up. From a very young age. Children learn what they live, meaning they watch the parents and the people around them and that is how they develope and learn. I have seen it so many times in the grocery or department store where the child wants something and the parents say "No" and the child keeps on and on with the screaming and yelling with the parent trying to reason with them, (you cant reason with a child) you have to teach them right and wrong. I blame the system for alot of this, they took away the parents right to discipline children when they need to be corrected. I am talking about spankings. We arent allowed to give a child a spanking, so the parents are walking around and yelling at them over and over again or they just ignore them. So the child never learns that you cant act that way. So now you have the teachers in school trying to discipline them and they wont listen to them either, what did they expect. On top of that parents give them video games and electronics because they want them to go away and not bother them, it makes things quieter in the house, but just guess what this is doing to the child. Its much more than the guns in the house, we grew up with them in the house and we knew better not to touch them, because we were taught if you touch them your going to be in alot of trouble. Now society is wondering what has happened and they dont have any idea how to fix it. I say if your going to have children, start teaching them at a young age what you will put up with and what you wont put up with.
If you dedicated your life to finding ways to be wrong, you could not have done a better job of it than you did with that paragraph right there.
Look up mental illness. We aren't talking about "naughty" or "undisciplined" here.0 -
Gingeeee... You do realize we are talking specifically about children with special needs, right?
Of course you don't...0 -
I usually dont reply, but after reading this article I feel the need to write something. I think that the problem stems from the beginning and the way the child is brought up. From a very young age. Children learn what they live, meaning they watch the parents and the people around them and that is how they develope and learn. I have seen it so many times in the grocery or department store where the child wants something and the parents say "No" and the child keeps on and on with the screaming and yelling with the parent trying to reason with them, (you cant reason with a child) you have to teach them right and wrong. I blame the system for alot of this, they took away the parents right to discipline children when they need to be corrected. I am talking about spankings. We arent allowed to give a child a spanking, so the parents are walking around and yelling at them over and over again or they just ignore them. So the child never learns that you cant act that way. So now you have the teachers in school trying to discipline them and they wont listen to them either, what did they expect. On top of that parents give them video games and electronics because they want them to go away and not bother them, it makes things quieter in the house, but just guess what this is doing to the child. Its much more than the guns in the house, we grew up with them in the house and we knew better not to touch them, because we were taught if you touch them your going to be in alot of trouble. Now society is wondering what has happened and they dont have any idea how to fix it. I say if your going to have children, start teaching them at a young age what you will put up with and what you wont put up with.
If you dedicated your life to finding ways to be wrong, you could not have done a better job of it than you did with that paragraph right there.
Look up mental illness. We aren't talking about "naughty" or "undisciplined" here.
Yes! Thank you! THIS ^^^^^ BIG difference between children lacking discipline and children with mental illnesses.0 -
I usually dont reply, but after reading this article I feel the need to write something. I think that the problem stems from the beginning and the way the child is brought up. From a very young age. Children learn what they live, meaning they watch the parents and the people around them and that is how they develope and learn. I have seen it so many times in the grocery or department store where the child wants something and the parents say "No" and the child keeps on and on with the screaming and yelling with the parent trying to reason with them, (you cant reason with a child) you have to teach them right and wrong. I blame the system for alot of this, they took away the parents right to discipline children when they need to be corrected. I am talking about spankings. We arent allowed to give a child a spanking, so the parents are walking around and yelling at them over and over again or they just ignore them. So the child never learns that you cant act that way. So now you have the teachers in school trying to discipline them and they wont listen to them either, what did they expect. On top of that parents give them video games and electronics because they want them to go away and not bother them, it makes things quieter in the house, but just guess what this is doing to the child. Its much more than the guns in the house, we grew up with them in the house and we knew better not to touch them, because we were taught if you touch them your going to be in alot of trouble. Now society is wondering what has happened and they dont have any idea how to fix it. I say if your going to have children, start teaching them at a young age what you will put up with and what you wont put up with.
If you dedicated your life to finding ways to be wrong, you could not have done a better job of it than you did with that paragraph right there.
Look up mental illness. We aren't talking about "naughty" or "undisciplined" here.
Sir, I could not agree with you more. One really shouldn't judge the parents of a mentally disturbed child before trying to understand what they're dealing with. This goes far beyond simple behavior problems. And you have to live with someone like this to truly understand fear. To know that they will not act rationally and that their "switch" could go off at any time. It took me a very long time to forgive my parents for not "getting rid" of my older brother and saving me but looking back I get what stevenmphotog is dealing with and what the monster's mother must have been dealing with. You don't just give up on a child. You want to hold on to some hope.0 -
I think that the problem stems from the beginning and the way the child is brought up. From a very young age. Children learn what they live, meaning they watch the parents and the people around them and that is how they develope and learn.
By that logic then all "bad" parents who do not discipline their children would have mentally ill children. And no "good" parents who do discipline their children would have them. Sorry, but that's wrong. You can't discipline a mental illness out of a child.0 -
I usually dont reply, but after reading this article I feel the need to write something. I think that the problem stems from the beginning and the way the child is brought up. From a very young age. Children learn what they live, meaning they watch the parents and the people around them and that is how they develope and learn. I have seen it so many times in the grocery or department store where the child wants something and the parents say "No" and the child keeps on and on with the screaming and yelling with the parent trying to reason with them, (you cant reason with a child) you have to teach them right and wrong. I blame the system for alot of this, they took away the parents right to discipline children when they need to be corrected. I am talking about spankings. We arent allowed to give a child a spanking, so the parents are walking around and yelling at them over and over again or they just ignore them. So the child never learns that you cant act that way. So now you have the teachers in school trying to discipline them and they wont listen to them either, what did they expect. On top of that parents give them video games and electronics because they want them to go away and not bother them, it makes things quieter in the house, but just guess what this is doing to the child. Its much more than the guns in the house, we grew up with them in the house and we knew better not to touch them, because we were taught if you touch them your going to be in alot of trouble. Now society is wondering what has happened and they dont have any idea how to fix it. I say if your going to have children, start teaching them at a young age what you will put up with and what you wont put up with.
So Adam Lanza killed 26 people because he was an entitlement brat? Okay......0 -
I usually dont reply, but after reading this article I feel the need to write something. I think that the problem stems from the beginning and the way the child is brought up. From a very young age. Children learn what they live, meaning they watch the parents and the people around them and that is how they develope and learn. I have seen it so many times in the grocery or department store where the child wants something and the parents say "No" and the child keeps on and on with the screaming and yelling with the parent trying to reason with them, (you cant reason with a child) you have to teach them right and wrong. I blame the system for alot of this, they took away the parents right to discipline children when they need to be corrected. I am talking about spankings. We arent allowed to give a child a spanking, so the parents are walking around and yelling at them over and over again or they just ignore them. So the child never learns that you cant act that way. So now you have the teachers in school trying to discipline them and they wont listen to them either, what did they expect. On top of that parents give them video games and electronics because they want them to go away and not bother them, it makes things quieter in the house, but just guess what this is doing to the child. Its much more than the guns in the house, we grew up with them in the house and we knew better not to touch them, because we were taught if you touch them your going to be in alot of trouble. Now society is wondering what has happened and they dont have any idea how to fix it. I say if your going to have children, start teaching them at a young age what you will put up with and what you wont put up with.
This logic is what keeps the system so flawed in the first place.0 -
I usually dont reply, but after reading this article I feel the need to write something. I think that the problem stems from the beginning and the way the child is brought up. From a very young age. Children learn what they live, meaning they watch the parents and the people around them and that is how they develope and learn. I have seen it so many times in the grocery or department store where the child wants something and the parents say "No" and the child keeps on and on with the screaming and yelling with the parent trying to reason with them, (you cant reason with a child) you have to teach them right and wrong. I blame the system for alot of this, they took away the parents right to discipline children when they need to be corrected. I am talking about spankings. We arent allowed to give a child a spanking, so the parents are walking around and yelling at them over and over again or they just ignore them. So the child never learns that you cant act that way. So now you have the teachers in school trying to discipline them and they wont listen to them either, what did they expect. On top of that parents give them video games and electronics because they want them to go away and not bother them, it makes things quieter in the house, but just guess what this is doing to the child. Its much more than the guns in the house, we grew up with them in the house and we knew better not to touch them, because we were taught if you touch them your going to be in alot of trouble. Now society is wondering what has happened and they dont have any idea how to fix it. I say if your going to have children, start teaching them at a young age what you will put up with and what you wont put up with.
Wow. You have just succeeded in creating the most ignorant thing I've read on the internet all week (maybe even longer). I congratulate you. I am astounded. And, no, I am not attacking you. I'm in awe. It really cannot be your fault. It would take a lot of work to be that clueless.
That being said. We are talking about mental illness. You cannot spank away mental illness. Brain scans show physical abnormalities; we are talking about an untreated disability. I personally consider myself a very good mother. I believe in discipline and consequences. I owned a commercial preschool center (not a home daycare), that was engaging, but not chaotic. I managed a full staff and over 50 families. My children do not watch television but we do watch videos together (Fraggles, Little House on the Prairie, Nancy Drew, and a few modern ones but most of what is on today is a bit much for young children and you can never go wrong with the Fraggles). My kids don't cry in the grocery store, the kill pets and hurt smaller children. I am not a satanist, not into witch craft, voodoo, santeria, whatever...(absolutely no offense to anyone who is). I have done my best to model good values and morals. I spend at least one to two times a week at their therapy appointments.
My kids are ill, like most of the children belonging to the other parents and family members who have posted. Unfortunately, ignorance and stigma are a huge roadblock for us.0 -
Wow...that was deep and moving and scary. I believe that this type of mental illness and dis-ease is rapidly becoming the rule of the day, rather than the exception. I believe that the greater majority of families in our nation are quietly suffering this type of trauma and drama in daily family life. It is more than sad to me...
it is scary:devil:
I think if we as a nation and people dare to look at some of the major contributing factors in our lifestyles (because we ALL are a reflection of our nation/society...no matter how much we want to think otherwise)--there we will see the "elephant in the room" and if we are courageous and dare to look at our own lifestyle and make changes...we will indeed see a decrease to this madness (literally). In my opinion, these are some of the major contributing factors in this terrible matter:
1.) The "self-esteem" and everyone is "equal".a.k.a. there is no differences between us, no right and wrong, no differences between men and women, children and adults, good and evil, dirty is clean (look how we spend big bucks on looking raggedy, buying dirty looking jeans and "distressed" clothes, women walking around looking like cheap h@@kers of yesteryear and absolutely proud of it--AMAZING, walking about looking like bums and paying top dollar,--it's ALL GOOD type of thinking, living, doing and being" and we're all the same hype--we must be able to do, say and be whatever we want to H&LL with everyone else::indifferent:
In our society today, we worship and cling to "if it feels good and we want to...do it--no matter what it does to our selves, our families, our bodies, our society--just DO IT because I want to (spoiled brats thinking and living)" mentally--ever man/woman for him or herself a.k.a. "spoiled and pampered" child run and worshipped mentally/society. Children today are the "bosses" of their homes and families--that what I have observed over the past, say 25 years or so. Parents are now at their children's "beck and call", children are absolutely "fearless" and not trained nor taught that there is a distinct difference in adults (and privileges and lifestyles of adults are and should be different for children) and are taught such in schools and their homes and our western society that discipline, self-control, responsibility, hard-work, earning your keep or reaping the "worldwind", respecting and honoring your elders are a thing of the past That putting a child in his or her place and teaching them at an early age that if they dare to disobey (that means to obey RIGHT AWAY and with a sweet and gentle attitude to boot--any other so-called "compliance is NOT true obedience--in my book anyway), that talk back and or not have a pleasant and agreeable, humble attitude when told what to do, will cause them to reap serious consequences (and I aint talking about not telling them work on games or toys either)...No...those days are gone, the days of LESS IS MORE, waiting and working HARD for what you want and considered today as --Draconian at best and evil at least.
Johnny or Suzy can't read? Drug em....don't spend time with them, because we're busy chasing the almighty dollar to get more stuff to keep Johnny and Suzy BUSY and DISTRACTED so we can do what we want to, when we want to. We now look at and proudly admire living in a 140 character society as a way of communicating with one another--if that doesn't show and tell us something, nothing will.
Think about it--when parents/people cared what society thought of them--when not only your parents tore your behind up for "acting out/up" but teachers and neighbors did too--When morals, values and standards kept people from doing what-so-ever they felt like it---you just didn't hear horrendous stories like this--did it happen? Yes, it happened--but it was RARE, it was the exception--not the rule, as it is today. We as a society are ALL guilty of petting and pampering and spoil brat lifestyle--from/for our children and ourselves as well.
When this was the rule of the day (teaching your children to honor and obey their parents) and raising/training children on being humble, kind and wise---you NEVER heard of children cussing their parents out, let alone killing them, as you hear so much of today. Yes...we now have children who can speak their minds, and as we beg them to pretty please do thus and such, in the name of a "kinder & gentler" society...we now have a nation wroth with mental illness and trauma and drama and woe!
2.) Television, computers, games and entertainment is the rule of the day in most homes. Interacting with your own children and spending time with them is RARE. We as a nation and society have replaced personal presence and time with the baby sitters of T.V., movies, music, and FUN, FUN, FUN, more is better! No rules, no regulations, no holds barred--if it feels good--do it. Consequences are not to be considered, nor even mentioned--until it's too late.
3.) What's causing our nation to be doomed with the epidemic of obesity is very much akin to this epidemic of violence and mayhem. The underlining reasons are just about the same: Greed/gluttony, laziness, apathy, fear, I want to do, eat, be what I want, when I want and how I want and if anyone DARES try to stop me...I'll go off. This is what happens when children rule and when adults abandon their responsibility of teaching, training, raising God fearing, parent honoring children....
Of course, this won't be popular--but that's a wee bit of my take on it...I can be wrong, I'm wrong about a great many things in this ole life, that's for sure!
Da *kitten*? Have you ever met anyone with a mental illness? Cuz it's sure as hell not this.....
Not only have I met folks with mental illness...I say with grief and a certain hopelessness that of the multitudes of family, friends and neighbors I know and have known and have met and dealt with over the past 20+ years or so...the greater majority of these people ALL have and are dealing with one form of mental illness or another with their children---I'd go so far as to say just about 95% or more of them. The only family, friends, or neighbors I know of that don't have a family member suffering from mental illness are the ones which don't have or live/lifestyle of a "child-run"/where the child(ren) are the "bosses" and focus of household. Where the children are NOT worshipped and put above the father or mother's relationship and authority in the home. The ONLY household 's I've observed and personally witnessed/know of where (child/teen) mental illness does NOT rule and reign in the household of people I personally know are those who run an adult focused household (where God is the Boss of the household first and foremost, then the father, then the mother and children last). Where their are two parents in the home, and the father is the breadwinner, the mother is at home, raising, training, teaching her children (not T.V., their peers, video games and such). Where the Father & mother are honored above the children (not the other way around) and the mother is respected and treated like a queen. Where families sacrifice having it all now and live below their means to be able to have the mother stay home and raise the children and do without many of the modern and cool things that other families that CHOOSE the lifestyle of "keeping up with the Jones' and chasing the almighty dollar to get more and more stuff and deem essential and meaningful to them.
All of the multitudes of friends, family and neighbors struggling with mental illness in their homes and family (that I have personally observed and experienced) have one parent families homes and/or both parents work and the children are left with babysitters, daycare providers and/or television, computer, video games to "baby-sit them". Families where "old-school" old fashioned way of living/lifestyles are shunned, despised and concerned unworthy and unwanted and unneeded for themselves.
Unfortunately, among ALL of the people I know--there are only a hand full of households like this...OLD SCHOOL parenting and lifestyles and homes (that do not suffer from mental illness of one sort or another in their homes)--hence, my observation. You MUST respect that this is my life long years and years and YEARS of observation and experience. Just because it's not yours...doesn't make it untrue or as you say, "sure in the hell is not"...it's not for you. Just because it isn't yours (and most assuredly the majority of the peoples here will NOT see it this way, because it's RARE these days--old school). As I said earlier....I can be wrong, I am many times--but I can not argue with experience--unpopular? Yep--that still doesn't make it untrue, at least from my experience.0 -
Wow...that was deep and moving and scary. I believe that this type of mental illness and dis-ease is rapidly becoming the rule of the day, rather than the exception. I believe that the greater majority of families in our nation are quietly suffering this type of trauma and drama in daily family life. It is more than sad to me... it is scary:devil:
I think if we as a nation and people dare to look at some of the major contributing factors in our lifestyles (because we ALL are a reflection of our nation/society...no matter how much we want to think otherwise)--there we will see the "elephant in the room" and if we are courageous and dare to look at our own lifestyle and make changes...we will indeed see a decrease to this madness (literally). In my opinion, these are some of the major contributing factors in this terrible matter:
1.) The "self-esteem" and everyone is "equal".a.k.a. there is no differences between us, no right and wrong, no differences between men and women, children and adults, good and evil, dirty is clean (look how we spend big bucks on looking raggedy, buying dirty looking jeans and "distressed" clothes, women walking around looking like cheap h@@kers of yesteryear and absolutely proud of it--AMAZING, walking about looking like bums and paying top dollar,--it's ALL GOOD type of thinking, living, doing and being" and we're all the same hype--we must be able to do, say and be whatever we want to H&LL with everyone else::indifferent:
In our society today, we worship and cling to "if it feels good and we want to...do it--no matter what it does to our selves, our families, our bodies, our society--just DO IT because I want to (spoiled brats thinking and living)" mentally--ever man/woman for him or herself a.k.a. "spoiled and pampered" child run and worshipped mentally/society. Children today are the "bosses" of their homes and families--that what I have observed over the past, say 25 years or so. Parents are now at their children's "beck and call", children are absolutely "fearless" and not trained nor taught that there is a distinct difference in adults (and privileges and lifestyles of adults are and should be different for children) and are taught such in schools and their homes and our western society that discipline, self-control, responsibility, hard-work, earning your keep or reaping the "worldwind", respecting and honoring your elders are a thing of the past That putting a child in his or her place and teaching them at an early age that if they dare to disobey (that means to obey RIGHT AWAY and with a sweet and gentle attitude to boot--any other so-called "compliance is NOT true obedience--in my book anyway), that talk back and or not have a pleasant and agreeable, humble attitude when told what to do, will cause them to reap serious consequences (and I aint talking about not telling them work on games or toys either)...No...those days are gone, the days of LESS IS MORE, waiting and working HARD for what you want and considered today as --Draconian at best and evil at least.
Johnny or Suzy can't read? Drug em....don't spend time with them, because we're busy chasing the almighty dollar to get more stuff to keep Johnny and Suzy BUSY and DISTRACTED so we can do what we want to, when we want to. We now look at and proudly admire living in a 140 character society as a way of communicating with one another--if that doesn't show and tell us something, nothing will.
Think about it--when parents/people cared what society thought of them--when not only your parents tore your behind up for "acting out/up" but teachers and neighbors did too--When morals, values and standards kept people from doing what-so-ever they felt like it---you just didn't hear horrendous stories like this--did it happen? Yes, it happened--but it was RARE, it was the exception--not the rule, as it is today. We as a society are ALL guilty of petting and pampering and spoil brat lifestyle--from/for our children and ourselves as well.
When this was the rule of the day (teaching your children to honor and obey their parents) and raising/training children on being humble, kind and wise---you NEVER heard of children cussing their parents out, let alone killing them, as you hear so much of today. Yes...we now have children who can speak their minds, and as we beg them to pretty please do thus and such, in the name of a "kinder & gentler" society...we now have a nation wroth with mental illness and trauma and drama and woe!
2.) Television, computers, games and entertainment is the rule of the day in most homes. Interacting with your own children and spending time with them is RARE. We as a nation and society have replaced personal presence and time with the baby sitters of T.V., movies, music, and FUN, FUN, FUN, more is better! No rules, no regulations, no holds barred--if it feels good--do it. Consequences are not to be considered, nor even mentioned--until it's too late.
3.) What's causing our nation to be doomed with the epidemic of obesity is very much akin to this epidemic of violence and mayhem. The underlining reasons are just about the same: Greed/gluttony, laziness, apathy, fear, I want to do, eat, be what I want, when I want and how I want and if anyone DARES try to stop me...I'll go off. This is what happens when children rule and when adults abandon their responsibility of teaching, training, raising God fearing, parent honoring children....
Of course, this won't be popular--but that's a wee bit of my take on it...I can be wrong, I'm wrong about a great many things in this ole life, that's for sure!
Da *kitten*? Have you ever met anyone with a mental illness? Cuz it's sure as hell not this.....
Not only have I met folks with mental illness...I say with grief and a certain hopelessness that of the multitudes of family, friends and neighbors I know and have known and have met and dealt with over the past 20+ years or so...the greater majority of these people ALL have and are dealing with one form of mental illness or another with their children---I'd go so far as to say just about 95% or more of them. The only family, friends, or neighbors I know of that don't have a family member suffering from mental illness are the ones which don't have or live/lifestyle of a "child-run"/where the child(ren) are the "bosses" and focus of household. Where the children are NOT worshipped and put above the father or mother's relationship and authority in the home. The ONLY household 's I've observed and personally witnessed/know of where (child/teen) mental illness does NOT rule and reign in the household of people I personally know are those who run an adult focused household (where God is the Boss of the household first and foremost, then the father, then the mother and children last). Where their are two parents in the home, and the father is the breadwinner, the mother is at home, raising, training, teaching her children (not T.V., their peers, video games and such). Where the Father & mother are honored above the children (not the other way around) and the mother is respected and treated like a queen. Where families sacrifice having it all now and live below their means to be able to have the mother stay home and raise the children and do without many of the modern and cool things that other families that CHOOSE the lifestyle of "keeping up with the Jones' and chasing the almighty dollar to get more and more stuff and deem essential and meaningful to them.
All of the multitudes of friends, family and neighbors struggling with mental illness in their homes and family (that I have personally observed and experienced) have one parent families homes and/or both parents work and the children are left with babysitters, daycare providers and/or television, computer, video games to "baby-sit them". Families where "old-school" old fashioned way of living/lifestyles are shunned, despised and concerned unworthy and unwanted and unneeded for themselves.
Unfortunately, among ALL of the people I know--there are only a hand full of households like this...OLD SCHOOL parenting and lifestyles and homes (that do not suffer from mental illness of one sort or another in their homes)--hence, my observation. You MUST respect that this is my life long years and years and YEARS of observation and experience. Just because it's not yours...doesn't make it untrue or as you say, "sure in the hell is not"...it's not for you. Just because it isn't yours (and most assuredly the majority of the peoples here will NOT see it this way, because it's RARE these days--old school). As I said earlier....I can be wrong, I am many times--but I can not argue with experience--unpopular? Yep--that still doesn't make it untrue, at least from my experience.
You know, I'm sorry... I was trying to be nice to you... but that is the most ignorant thing I have ever read.
You have warranted this gif.
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Wow...that was deep and moving and scary. I believe that this type of mental illness and dis-ease is rapidly becoming the rule of the day, rather than the exception. I believe that the greater majority of families in our nation are quietly suffering this type of trauma and drama in daily family life. It is more than sad to me... it is scary:devil:
I think if we as a nation and people dare to look at some of the major contributing factors in our lifestyles (because we ALL are a reflection of our nation/society...no matter how much we want to think otherwise)--there we will see the "elephant in the room" and if we are courageous and dare to look at our own lifestyle and make changes...we will indeed see a decrease to this madness (literally). In my opinion, these are some of the major contributing factors in this terrible matter:
1.) The "self-esteem" and everyone is "equal".a.k.a. there is no differences between us, no right and wrong, no differences between men and women, children and adults, good and evil, dirty is clean (look how we spend big bucks on looking raggedy, buying dirty looking jeans and "distressed" clothes, women walking around looking like cheap h@@kers of yesteryear and absolutely proud of it--AMAZING, walking about looking like bums and paying top dollar,--it's ALL GOOD type of thinking, living, doing and being" and we're all the same hype--we must be able to do, say and be whatever we want to H&LL with everyone else::indifferent:
In our society today, we worship and cling to "if it feels good and we want to...do it--no matter what it does to our selves, our families, our bodies, our society--just DO IT because I want to (spoiled brats thinking and living)" mentally--ever man/woman for him or herself a.k.a. "spoiled and pampered" child run and worshipped mentally/society. Children today are the "bosses" of their homes and families--that what I have observed over the past, say 25 years or so. Parents are now at their children's "beck and call", children are absolutely "fearless" and not trained nor taught that there is a distinct difference in adults (and privileges and lifestyles of adults are and should be different for children) and are taught such in schools and their homes and our western society that discipline, self-control, responsibility, hard-work, earning your keep or reaping the "worldwind", respecting and honoring your elders are a thing of the past That putting a child in his or her place and teaching them at an early age that if they dare to disobey (that means to obey RIGHT AWAY and with a sweet and gentle attitude to boot--any other so-called "compliance is NOT true obedience--in my book anyway), that talk back and or not have a pleasant and agreeable, humble attitude when told what to do, will cause them to reap serious consequences (and I aint talking about not telling them work on games or toys either)...No...those days are gone, the days of LESS IS MORE, waiting and working HARD for what you want and considered today as --Draconian at best and evil at least.
Johnny or Suzy can't read? Drug em....don't spend time with them, because we're busy chasing the almighty dollar to get more stuff to keep Johnny and Suzy BUSY and DISTRACTED so we can do what we want to, when we want to. We now look at and proudly admire living in a 140 character society as a way of communicating with one another--if that doesn't show and tell us something, nothing will.
Think about it--when parents/people cared what society thought of them--when not only your parents tore your behind up for "acting out/up" but teachers and neighbors did too--When morals, values and standards kept people from doing what-so-ever they felt like it---you just didn't hear horrendous stories like this--did it happen? Yes, it happened--but it was RARE, it was the exception--not the rule, as it is today. We as a society are ALL guilty of petting and pampering and spoil brat lifestyle--from/for our children and ourselves as well.
When this was the rule of the day (teaching your children to honor and obey their parents) and raising/training children on being humble, kind and wise---you NEVER heard of children cussing their parents out, let alone killing them, as you hear so much of today. Yes...we now have children who can speak their minds, and as we beg them to pretty please do thus and such, in the name of a "kinder & gentler" society...we now have a nation wroth with mental illness and trauma and drama and woe!
2.) Television, computers, games and entertainment is the rule of the day in most homes. Interacting with your own children and spending time with them is RARE. We as a nation and society have replaced personal presence and time with the baby sitters of T.V., movies, music, and FUN, FUN, FUN, more is better! No rules, no regulations, no holds barred--if it feels good--do it. Consequences are not to be considered, nor even mentioned--until it's too late.
3.) What's causing our nation to be doomed with the epidemic of obesity is very much akin to this epidemic of violence and mayhem. The underlining reasons are just about the same: Greed/gluttony, laziness, apathy, fear, I want to do, eat, be what I want, when I want and how I want and if anyone DARES try to stop me...I'll go off. This is what happens when children rule and when adults abandon their responsibility of teaching, training, raising God fearing, parent honoring children....
Of course, this won't be popular--but that's a wee bit of my take on it...I can be wrong, I'm wrong about a great many things in this ole life, that's for sure!
Da *kitten*? Have you ever met anyone with a mental illness? Cuz it's sure as hell not this.....
Not only have I met folks with mental illness...I say with grief and a certain hopelessness that of the multitudes of family, friends and neighbors I know and have known and have met and dealt with over the past 20+ years or so...the greater majority of these people ALL have and are dealing with one form of mental illness or another with their children---I'd go so far as to say just about 95% or more of them. The only family, friends, or neighbors I know of that don't have a family member suffering from mental illness are the ones which don't have or live/lifestyle of a "child-run"/where the child(ren) are the "bosses" and focus of household. Where the children are NOT worshipped and put above the father or mother's relationship and authority in the home. The ONLY household 's I've observed and personally witnessed/know of where (child/teen) mental illness does NOT rule and reign in the household of people I personally know are those who run an adult focused household (where God is the Boss of the household first and foremost, then the father, then the mother and children last). Where their are two parents in the home, and the father is the breadwinner, the mother is at home, raising, training, teaching her children (not T.V., their peers, video games and such). Where the Father & mother are honored above the children (not the other way around) and the mother is respected and treated like a queen. Where families sacrifice having it all now and live below their means to be able to have the mother stay home and raise the children and do without many of the modern and cool things that other families that CHOOSE the lifestyle of "keeping up with the Jones' and chasing the almighty dollar to get more and more stuff and deem essential and meaningful to them.
All of the multitudes of friends, family and neighbors struggling with mental illness in their homes and family (that I have personally observed and experienced) have one parent families homes and/or both parents work and the children are left with babysitters, daycare providers and/or television, computer, video games to "baby-sit them". Families where "old-school" old fashioned way of living/lifestyles are shunned, despised and concerned unworthy and unwanted and unneeded for themselves.
Unfortunately, among ALL of the people I know--there are only a hand full of households like this...OLD SCHOOL parenting and lifestyles and homes (that do not suffer from mental illness of one sort or another in their homes)--hence, my observation. You MUST respect that this is my life long years and years and YEARS of observation and experience. Just because it's not yours...doesn't make it untrue or as you say, "sure in the hell is not"...it's not for you. Just because it isn't yours (and most assuredly the majority of the peoples here will NOT see it this way, because it's RARE these days--old school). As I said earlier....I can be wrong, I am many times--but I can not argue with experience--unpopular? Yep--that still doesn't make it untrue, at least from my experience.
None of the child run things you mention here are any part of my household. I was raised by a strict disciplinarian and began my parenting in the same way. The old school failed horribly where my older son is concerned.
And no, I'm not obligated to respect you you think you have observed. Your sample size or your personal prejudices have caused you to see the world in a nice, simple light, where good begets good and bad begets bad. Sorry, that just isn't the case and that perspective deserves no respect whatsoever.0 -
I was raised "old school" like you say-and I still have OCD. I have plenty of patients over the years who were raised "old school" and still developed bipolar or schizophrenia.
Mental illness is not caused by easy parenting, letting the kids rule the roost, etc. It's a physical condition in the brain. Like diabetes for the pancreas or high blood pressure for the heart. You can parent the you-know-what out of the kid all day long and at the end of the day, they have the brain chemicals that they have and no amount of discipline or prayer is going to change that.
If, like the OP was trying to point out, there was more funding to raise awareness and explore treatments for mental illness, people wouldn't still be trying to blame parenting for this.0 -
This woman is describing my son, my family and our lives.
http://gawker.com/5968818/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother
so true0 -
I think if we as a nation and people dare to look at some of the major contributing factors in our lifestyles (because we ALL are a reflection of our nation/society...no matter how much we want to think otherwise)--there we will see the "elephant in the room" and if we are courageous and dare to look at our own lifestyle and make changes...we will indeed see a decrease to this madness (literally). In my opinion, these are some of the major contributing factors in this terrible matter:
1.) The "self-esteem" and everyone is "equal".a.k.a. there is no differences between us, no right and wrong, no differences between men and women, children and adults, good and evil, dirty is clean (look how we spend big bucks on looking raggedy, buying dirty looking jeans and "distressed" clothes, women walking around looking like cheap h@@kers of yesteryear and absolutely proud of it--AMAZING, walking about looking like bums and paying top dollar,--it's ALL GOOD type of thinking, living, doing and being" and we're all the same hype--we must be able to do, say and be whatever we want to H&LL with everyone else::indifferent:
In our society today, we worship and cling to "if it feels good and we want to...do it--no matter what it does to our selves, our families, our bodies, our society--just DO IT because I want to (spoiled brats thinking and living)" mentally--ever man/woman for him or herself a.k.a. "spoiled and pampered" child run and worshipped mentally/society. Children today are the "bosses" of their homes and families--that what I have observed over the past, say 25 years or so. Parents are now at their children's "beck and call", children are absolutely "fearless" and not trained nor taught that there is a distinct difference in adults (and privileges and lifestyles of adults are and should be different for children) and are taught such in schools and their homes and our western society that discipline, self-control, responsibility, hard-work, earning your keep or reaping the "worldwind", respecting and honoring your elders are a thing of the past That putting a child in his or her place and teaching them at an early age that if they dare to disobey (that means to obey RIGHT AWAY and with a sweet and gentle attitude to boot--any other so-called "compliance is NOT true obedience--in my book anyway), that talk back and or not have a pleasant and agreeable, humble attitude when told what to do, will cause them to reap serious consequences (and I aint talking about not telling them work on games or toys either)...No...those days are gone, the days of LESS IS MORE, waiting and working HARD for what you want and considered today as --Draconian at best and evil at least.
Johnny or Suzy can't read? Drug em....
When this was the rule of the day (teaching your children to honor and obey their parents) and raising/training children on being humble, kind and wise---you NEVER heard of children cussing their parents out, let alone killing them, as you hear so much of today. Yes...we now have children who can speak their minds, and as we beg them to pretty please do thus and such, in the name of a "kinder & gentler" society...we now have a nation wroth with mental illness and trauma and drama and woe!
2.) Television, computers, games and entertainment is the rule of the day in most homes. Interacting with your own children and spending time with them is RARE. We as a nation and society have replaced personal presence and time with the baby sitters of T.V., movies, music, and FUN, FUN, FUN, more is better! No rules, no regulations, no holds barred--if it feels good--do it. Consequences are not to be considered, nor even mentioned--until it's too late.
Of course, this won't be popular--but that's a wee bit of my take on it...I can be wrong, I'm wrong about a great many things in this ole life, that's for sure!
Da *kitten*? Have you ever met anyone with a mental illness? Cuz it's sure as hell not this.....
Not only have I met folks with mental illness...I say with grief and a certain hopelessness that of the multitudes of family, friends and
All of the multitudes of friends, family and neighbors struggling with mental illness in their homes and family (that I have personally observed and experienced) have one parent families homes and/or both parents work and the children are left with babysitters, daycare providers and/or television, computer, video games to "baby-sit them". Families where "old-school" old fashioned way of living/lifestyles are shunned, despised and concerned unworthy and unwanted and unneeded for themselves.
I am many times--but I can not argue with experience--unpopular? Yep--that still doesn't make it untrue, at least from my experience.
Wow. Um... this thread was about families dealing with CHILDREN suffering from mental illness. You really didn't need to represent the ADULTS... :flowerforyou:
BTW: I chopped some of your post off because it was so long and rambling. :flowerforyou:0 -
Wait....what? Omg...I've never read so much bull**** in my entire life than what is posted in this thread.
Obviously a lot of people here who have NO understanding about mental illness. Unbelievable.0 -
Wow - so many people on here are dealing with some serious day to day stuff!
If anyone wants to talk, I have created a group "Healthy Carers". Would love some other people who understand what it can be like to come & chat.
It's been a pretty stressy day here though, so I might not be too uplifting right now;)0 -
Wait....what? Omg...I've never read so much bull**** in my entire life then a lot of what is posted in these threads.
Obviously a lot of people who have NO understanding about mental illness. Unbelievable.
At least it serves to clear up why we don't have a better mental health system. Deep, ingrained, pervasive, powerful ignorance. Actually, ignorance might be the wrong word. Ignorance is innocent, and cureable through the application of knowledge. This kind of ignorance goes out of its way to avoid the cure and lowers itself to the level of stupidity.
Willful, stupid, ignorance is not innocent...it's evil.0 -
I almost threw up this morning watching this. 20 small bodies are going in the ground because of this monster. Disgusting.0
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Wait....what? Omg...I've never read so much bull**** in my entire life than what is posted in this thread.
Obviously a lot of people here who have NO understanding about mental illness. Unbelievable.
I had to stop reading for this very reason. It's sad how misinformed people really are0 -
I read this article yesterday and while I haven't read every comment made here, I do have one question. Why was Adam Lanzas' mother an avid gun collector? If she had a son who was unstable, unpredictable or violent, then why did she have guns in the home?
I know we can't remove every possible weapon from our homes, but why add actual weapons if you have a child who is sometimes?, could be?, violent?
I don't know all the details, but I imagine that she didn't realize or want to believe that he was capable of something like this. Honestly, this couldn't have been predicted. You can't punish someone for something that they haven't done yet, and you can't make assumptions. Maybe he had never been violent before now. Maybe she had them locked up and believed that he couldn't get to them. Honestly, it is not fair to judge her without having all the facts and I'm sorry, but if you are getting your information from the media, then odds are that you do not have all the facts.
And this.. Snap judgements solve NOTHING.0 -
Ignorance is bliss. Let's all just pretend that mental illness doesn't exist and just blame the parents for a change.
Have we noticed that things are only getting worse?
Proper attention/assistance is severely lacking!0 -
Thats my life to a T.0
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This psycho child killer is getting too much attention. I hate that I even know his name and I hate even more that I have had to look at it all day in news articles and this forum.0
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Wait....what? Omg...I've never read so much bull**** in my entire life than what is posted in this thread.
Obviously a lot of people here who have NO understanding about mental illness. Unbelievable.
I had to stop reading for this very reason. It's sad how misinformed people really are
That ignorance is what has kept people like me (and I'm sure many of you) from talking publicly about this for years. I feel like I'm still jeopardizing my career by speaking about it lest someone judge or label me (which is why my opinions are here and not FB). I got the wonderful distinction of growing up in a small town where everyone knew that my older brother very publicly shot himself. Good stuff. You all with strong opinions and little else might would to take the opportunity to STFU and listen for once. You may actually learn something. Bad parenting may create all sorts of issues in children but it does not give someone schizophrenia or a variety of other serious mental health problems. And yes, I'm a big critic of bad parents but I also am a parent and know that perfection is very hard to obtain. This is an entirely separate issue.0 -
I grew up with a mentally ill mother. My brother and I ended up ok but I feel for someone raising a mentally ill child.0
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This psycho child killer is getting too much attention. I hate that I even know his name and I hate even more that I have had to look at it all day in news articles and this forum.
This is a discussion about mental illness, and the realities of those families dealing with it. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it.0 -
so parents are responsible for raising mental illness...?0
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This psycho child killer is getting too much attention. I hate that I even know his name and I hate even more that I have had to look at it all day in news articles and this forum.
This is a discussion about mental illness, and the realities of those families dealing with it. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it.
I didn't read it.0
This discussion has been closed.
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