Guys say they want a Nice/Good girl but go for Sl*ts?
Replies
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OP, I want to clarify that this post is in no way a personal attack against you. I am also a human, I make mistakes, I say things without thinking, and I judge other people. I am in no way trying to insinuate that I believe you are a bad person for thinking the way you do or expressing your feelings.
I used to gossip FIERCELY about other girls and their sexual activity. It was even so bad that, at one point, a well-known "slut" in my area was date-raped on a trip to Quebec, and my entire social group decided that it was her fault because she was so "easy" and she was a "slutty drunk".
While I have never been date-raped, I was almost the victim of a date-rape. During a particularly low point in my depression I drank a fair bit. I made it through a 26 of tequila at a coworker's house party and suddenly a bunch of his hockey-player friends, at least three years older than me, showed up. I have no memory of how I ended up in a bathroom with them, but I remember telling the two undressing boys high-fiving over my head that I was too drunk to make a decision, I was seeing someone, and that I didn't want to do this right now. They continued undressing me while a large group of my coworkers cheered them on from outside the door. I eventually convinced them to let me go, after they had almost totally stripped me, by giving them my cell phone number and telling them to text me and I would hook up with them any time except right now. I left the room crying and someone finally realized I wasn't ok and brought me somewhere else to sleep.
The next day at work, EVERYONE was making fun of me for ending up in the bathroom. When I asked them not to because it was an upsetting experience, they told me it was my fault for drinking so much and that I OBVIOUSLY wanted it. They called me a slut.
This point in my life is where I decided to really educate myself about victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and a variety of other issues of a similar nature. Before this night, I would have totally agreed with this post, OP.
Policing other people's sexuality and sexual activity is dangerous. There is nothing wrong or dirty with a woman's sexuality (pr a man's!) or the way that she chooses to express it, informed and consenting. It is also perfectly natural for your male friends, regardless of their spirituality, to be attracted to these women. There are also plenty of men and women who would find a partner who prefers to more privately express their sexuality to be attractive. Your male friends are exploring the sexual side of themselves by engaging in that flirting and that is a perfectly normal, healthy thing! But many of us have been raised in society's that don't always treat sexuality as something that is normal, healthy, and okay to express.
Here is a link to a sex positive youtuber who was an excellent resource for me to begin educating myself on my sexuality and my approach to the sexuality of other people. I don't think that girl hate is something that needs to still prevail in this day and age, and I am in no way trying to hate on anyone in this thread. Sorry for the long post, this issue is just very close to me now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BwuASx8yT8 0 -
OP, I want to clarify that this post is in no way a personal attack against you. I am also a human, I make mistakes, I say things without thinking, and I judge other people. I am in no way trying to insinuate that I believe you are a bad person for thinking the way you do or expressing your feelings.
I used to gossip FIERCELY about other girls and their sexual activity. It was even so bad that, at one point, a well-known "slut" in my area was date-raped on a trip to Quebec, and my entire social group decided that it was her fault because she was so "easy" and she was a "slutty drunk".
While I have never been date-raped, I was almost the victim of a date-rape. During a particularly low point in my depression I drank a fair bit. I made it through a 26 of tequila at a coworker's house party and suddenly a bunch of his hockey-player friends, at least three years older than me, showed up. I have no memory of how I ended up in a bathroom with them, but I remember telling the two undressing boys high-fiving over my head that I was too drunk to make a decision, I was seeing someone, and that I didn't want to do this right now. They continued undressing me while a large group of my coworkers cheered them on from outside the door. I eventually convinced them to let me go, after they had almost totally stripped me, by giving them my cell phone number and telling them to text me and I would hook up with them any time except right now. I left the room crying and someone finally realized I wasn't ok and brought me somewhere else to sleep.
The next day at work, EVERYONE was making fun of me for ending up in the bathroom. When I asked them not to because it was an upsetting experience, they told me it was my fault for drinking so much and that I OBVIOUSLY wanted it. They called me a slut.
This point in my life is where I decided to really educate myself about victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and a variety of other issues of a similar nature. Before this night, I would have totally agreed with this post, OP.
Policing other people's sexuality and sexual activity is dangerous. There is nothing wrong or dirty with a woman's sexuality (pr a man's!) or the way that she chooses to express it, informed and consenting. It is also perfectly natural for your male friends, regardless of their spirituality, to be attracted to these women. There are also plenty of men and women who would find a partner who prefers to more privately express their sexuality to be attractive. Your male friends are exploring the sexual side of themselves by engaging in that flirting and that is a perfectly normal, healthy thing! But many of us have been raised in society's that don't always treat sexuality as something that is normal, healthy, and okay to express.
Here is a link to a sex positive youtuber who was an excellent resource for me to begin educating myself on my sexuality and my approach to the sexuality of other people. I don't think that girl hate is something that needs to still prevail in this day and age, and I am in no way trying to hate on anyone in this thread. Sorry for the long post, this issue is just very close to me nowhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BwuASx8yT8
RESPECT0 -
My husband and guy friends all agree that a man wants "a *kitten* in bed and a lady on the town".0
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Men are visual creatures. They go for the aesthetically appealing. Its just in their DNA. I know plenty of great guys who still drool at an awesome pair of bewbz. Just cause a guy is paying attention to a female because of how she looks doesn't make him a bad guy. Men have defects. So do femalez. Being overly sensitive and jealous of the attention that other women get is one of them.
I think women can be visual creatures too. And to say that it is in men's DNA to go for the aesthetically appealing is kind of messed up. And what about women that drool at men? How about lesbians that drool at boobs? So what. Doesn't mean they are sluts or the people they are admiring are sluts. And who the hell are we to judge anything..really?
lol I'm pretty sure you misunderstood the point of my post. My point is that there is nothing wrong with admiring the visually appealing, or being focus of the attention. Its natural. Ain't nobody a slut for putting their eyeballs to good use.0 -
Men are visual creatures. They go for the aesthetically appealing. Its just in their DNA. I know plenty of great guys who still drool at an awesome pair of bewbz. Just cause a guy is paying attention to a female because of how she looks doesn't make him a bad guy. Men have defects. So do femalez. Being overly sensitive and jealous of the attention that other women get is one of them.
I think women can be visual creatures too. And to say that it is in men's DNA to go for the aesthetically appealing is kind of messed up. And what about women that drool at men? How about lesbians that drool at boobs? So what. Doesn't mean they are sluts or the people they are admiring are sluts. And who the hell are we to judge anything..really?
lol I'm pretty sure you misunderstood the point of my post. My point is that there is nothing wrong with admiring the visually appealing, or being focus of the attention. Its natural. Ain't nobody a slut for putting their eyeballs to good use.
I did misunderstand. My bad Thank you for explaining and I agree with you! Nothing wrong with admiring anyone!!! 
And at least you didn't tell me to shut up..lmao! 0 -
I'm going to take a different approach here. I think the problem is hypocrisy. I am a pastor's daughter who grew up around these *kitten* who preach that it is wrong to have sex before marriage but then try to get you in the sack at the first opportunity or they just go find someone who WILL sleep with them. You just need to find a man who practices what he preaches (whatever that may be.)
I am personally agnostic and it is seriously annoying sometimes how christian guys will try to convince me to be a christian and talk about the virtues of abstinence one minute and the next minute try to get into my pants. I can smell these guys from a mile away.
Now I LOVE sex, but I don't just jump into bed with every Harry that comes along, especially if he is a hyporcrit about his sexual nature.
It seems like you are probably young and will find the right guy. Also, your world view will probably expand. So don't worry about these hypocritical *kitten* right now and figure out what you want outside of men. Once you are happy with you without a man, the right man will come along and then you can decide whether you want him or not (by then, you may find that you are happier alone. Lol.)
These *kitten* want to have their cake and eat it too. They talk about wanting a girl who saves herself for marriage when in reality, they want to MARRY the girl who saved herself for marriage but they don't want to do the same for her. Hence the reason they go find the girls that will give it up. Stick in there. You'll find a good one someday, until then just find happiness in yourself.0 -
I'm not mad at anyone
2. I have seen with a number of my male friends.... they quote bible verses... all over their FB, Instagram and etc but then next minute they're flirting with a girl taking half naked pictures. and Ya I'd say a girl taking a pic of her rolling a blunt is trashy....
chances are they're losers that's why they like trash
and taking a picture naked and posting it on instagram does make you a slut.........
LMAO! That is all I have.
God made us sexual creatures. Ever thought of that one?0 -
I take alot of naked and sexy pictures and send them to my husband. Im not a slut. I dont roll joints though- but I thought that makes you a pot head-not a slut...
you should becareful who you lable a slut. That "slut" might be you, your husband-sister-daughter-brother-son- father. dont be so quick to judge, cause you never know.
Yep. What if a woman likes to take naked pics and share them and her husband is ok with it? What if he takes them and knows they are shared? What if she smokes weed legally to sleep? Still a trahsy slut? That's all opinion. IMO, those who have such harsh opinins about others are the ones with the problem.0 -
Your going after the wrong guys. Just sayin'. IMO
Yes.... ALLL guys love chicks. And love chicks willing to be/do/think whatever they want them, have ideas, need them to do.
That is a given.
Butttttttttt certain guys can be reached. And also *kitten* ya senseless... and make life seem like a dream instead of a nightmare...
Its up to YOU which guy you choose.0 -
I have no idea what just happened rofl. But I will offer up my opinion, cause, well, that's what I do haha!
Men have two heads. Sometimes the little one overpowers the big one. Sometimes wanting a girl who looks, as you put it, like a slut is them thinking, "I bet you she'll rock my world in bed", or "Done and done...no way I'm not tapping that tonight.."
As for smoking pot, I've done it, I wasn't a slut ~ I was a stoner and in a committed relationship for 3 years with my stoner boyfriend haha.
I personally love sex. I'd do it all day everyday if I could. I'm good at it. Like Luda said, "...lady in the streets...freak in the bed.." That's me. Does it make me a slut? No, it makes me human.
Don't let these guys shortcomings get to you, find a better class of losers to hangout with...if you're hanging out with the "stoner-slut chasing" kind of guys, that's your issue to fix 0 -
Your going after the wrong guys. Just sayin'. IMO
Yes.... ALLL guys love chicks. And love chicks willing to be/do/think whatever they want them, have ideas, need them to do.
That is a given.
Butttttttttt certain guys can be reached. And also *kitten* ya senseless... and make life seem like a dream instead of a nightmare...
Its up to YOU which guy you choose.
Aren't women the same way??????? Just saying. Don't women look for guys who they THINK they want but turns out not to need?0 -
OP, I want to clarify that this post is in no way a personal attack against you. I am also a human, I make mistakes, I say things without thinking, and I judge other people. I am in no way trying to insinuate that I believe you are a bad person for thinking the way you do or expressing your feelings.
I used to gossip FIERCELY about other girls and their sexual activity. It was even so bad that, at one point, a well-known "slut" in my area was date-raped on a trip to Quebec, and my entire social group decided that it was her fault because she was so "easy" and she was a "slutty drunk".
While I have never been date-raped, I was almost the victim of a date-rape. During a particularly low point in my depression I drank a fair bit. I made it through a 26 of tequila at a coworker's house party and suddenly a bunch of his hockey-player friends, at least three years older than me, showed up. I have no memory of how I ended up in a bathroom with them, but I remember telling the two undressing boys high-fiving over my head that I was too drunk to make a decision, I was seeing someone, and that I didn't want to do this right now. They continued undressing me while a large group of my coworkers cheered them on from outside the door. I eventually convinced them to let me go, after they had almost totally stripped me, by giving them my cell phone number and telling them to text me and I would hook up with them any time except right now. I left the room crying and someone finally realized I wasn't ok and brought me somewhere else to sleep.
The next day at work, EVERYONE was making fun of me for ending up in the bathroom. When I asked them not to because it was an upsetting experience, they told me it was my fault for drinking so much and that I OBVIOUSLY wanted it. They called me a slut.
This point in my life is where I decided to really educate myself about victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and a variety of other issues of a similar nature. Before this night, I would have totally agreed with this post, OP.
Policing other people's sexuality and sexual activity is dangerous. There is nothing wrong or dirty with a woman's sexuality (pr a man's!) or the way that she chooses to express it, informed and consenting. It is also perfectly natural for your male friends, regardless of their spirituality, to be attracted to these women. There are also plenty of men and women who would find a partner who prefers to more privately express their sexuality to be attractive. Your male friends are exploring the sexual side of themselves by engaging in that flirting and that is a perfectly normal, healthy thing! But many of us have been raised in society's that don't always treat sexuality as something that is normal, healthy, and okay to express.
Here is a link to a sex positive youtuber who was an excellent resource for me to begin educating myself on my sexuality and my approach to the sexuality of other people. I don't think that girl hate is something that needs to still prevail in this day and age, and I am in no way trying to hate on anyone in this thread. Sorry for the long post, this issue is just very close to me nowhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BwuASx8yT8
RESPECT
Agreed.0 -
I have no idea what just happened rofl. But I will offer up my opinion, cause, well, that's what I do haha!
Men have two heads. Sometimes the little one overpowers the big one. Sometimes wanting a girl who looks, as you put it, like a slut is them thinking, "I bet you she'll rock my world in bed", or "Done and done...no way I'm not tapping that tonight.."
As for smoking pot, I've done it, I wasn't a slut ~ I was a stoner and in a committed relationship for 3 years with my stoner boyfriend haha.
I personally love sex. I'd do it all day everyday if I could. I'm good at it. Like Luda said, "...lady in the streets...freak in the bed.." That's me. Does it make me a slut? No, it makes me human.
Don't let these guys shortcomings get to you, find a better class of losers to hangout with...if you're hanging out with the "stoner-slut chasing" kind of guys, that's your issue to fix
...I don't see nothing wrooonnggg...with a little bump and grind...I don't see nothing wrronngggg :P0 -
OP, I want to clarify that this post is in no way a personal attack against you. I am also a human, I make mistakes, I say things without thinking, and I judge other people. I am in no way trying to insinuate that I believe you are a bad person for thinking the way you do or expressing your feelings.
I used to gossip FIERCELY about other girls and their sexual activity. It was even so bad that, at one point, a well-known "slut" in my area was date-raped on a trip to Quebec, and my entire social group decided that it was her fault because she was so "easy" and she was a "slutty drunk".
While I have never been date-raped, I was almost the victim of a date-rape. During a particularly low point in my depression I drank a fair bit. I made it through a 26 of tequila at a coworker's house party and suddenly a bunch of his hockey-player friends, at least three years older than me, showed up. I have no memory of how I ended up in a bathroom with them, but I remember telling the two undressing boys high-fiving over my head that I was too drunk to make a decision, I was seeing someone, and that I didn't want to do this right now. They continued undressing me while a large group of my coworkers cheered them on from outside the door. I eventually convinced them to let me go, after they had almost totally stripped me, by giving them my cell phone number and telling them to text me and I would hook up with them any time except right now. I left the room crying and someone finally realized I wasn't ok and brought me somewhere else to sleep.
The next day at work, EVERYONE was making fun of me for ending up in the bathroom. When I asked them not to because it was an upsetting experience, they told me it was my fault for drinking so much and that I OBVIOUSLY wanted it. They called me a slut.
This point in my life is where I decided to really educate myself about victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and a variety of other issues of a similar nature. Before this night, I would have totally agreed with this post, OP.
Policing other people's sexuality and sexual activity is dangerous. There is nothing wrong or dirty with a woman's sexuality (pr a man's!) or the way that she chooses to express it, informed and consenting. It is also perfectly natural for your male friends, regardless of their spirituality, to be attracted to these women. There are also plenty of men and women who would find a partner who prefers to more privately express their sexuality to be attractive. Your male friends are exploring the sexual side of themselves by engaging in that flirting and that is a perfectly normal, healthy thing! But many of us have been raised in society's that don't always treat sexuality as something that is normal, healthy, and okay to express.
Here is a link to a sex positive youtuber who was an excellent resource for me to begin educating myself on my sexuality and my approach to the sexuality of other people. I don't think that girl hate is something that needs to still prevail in this day and age, and I am in no way trying to hate on anyone in this thread. Sorry for the long post, this issue is just very close to me nowhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BwuASx8yT8
RESPECT
Agreed.
Damn right. Sorry you had to go through that hun. I'm glad that they stopped and someone realized that it wasn't a joke. And I'm so sorry that afterwards, you went through what you did with the other girls.
This is why, people should really think twice before calling someone a slut or trying to bash on a gender.0 -
Joylia you know it girl roflmfao ;-)0
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Not all men are like this. Plenty of "Christian" men fall into this trap. If you read your bible, it talks about the women with lips of honey that bring men trouble.
Guys are visual. Guys are sexual. Some guys can make good decisions and others choose not to.
I don't know why you are concerning yourself with these types of guys. If you don't like that behavior, then don't go for that guy.
However...No reason you couldn't date a man, save yourself for marriage and be a total freak in the sheets. Nice girls don't have to be boring, un-sexy girls. Keep yourself up. Be something nice to look at. You can look uber sexy and not have everything hanging out. It's called being tasteful.
You can get a great guy and still honor yourself 0 -
OP, I want to clarify that this post is in no way a personal attack against you. I am also a human, I make mistakes, I say things without thinking, and I judge other people. I am in no way trying to insinuate that I believe you are a bad person for thinking the way you do or expressing your feelings.
I used to gossip FIERCELY about other girls and their sexual activity. It was even so bad that, at one point, a well-known "slut" in my area was date-raped on a trip to Quebec, and my entire social group decided that it was her fault because she was so "easy" and she was a "slutty drunk".
While I have never been date-raped, I was almost the victim of a date-rape. During a particularly low point in my depression I drank a fair bit. I made it through a 26 of tequila at a coworker's house party and suddenly a bunch of his hockey-player friends, at least three years older than me, showed up. I have no memory of how I ended up in a bathroom with them, but I remember telling the two undressing boys high-fiving over my head that I was too drunk to make a decision, I was seeing someone, and that I didn't want to do this right now. They continued undressing me while a large group of my coworkers cheered them on from outside the door. I eventually convinced them to let me go, after they had almost totally stripped me, by giving them my cell phone number and telling them to text me and I would hook up with them any time except right now. I left the room crying and someone finally realized I wasn't ok and brought me somewhere else to sleep.
The next day at work, EVERYONE was making fun of me for ending up in the bathroom. When I asked them not to because it was an upsetting experience, they told me it was my fault for drinking so much and that I OBVIOUSLY wanted it. They called me a slut.
This point in my life is where I decided to really educate myself about victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and a variety of other issues of a similar nature. Before this night, I would have totally agreed with this post, OP.
Policing other people's sexuality and sexual activity is dangerous. There is nothing wrong or dirty with a woman's sexuality (pr a man's!) or the way that she chooses to express it, informed and consenting. It is also perfectly natural for your male friends, regardless of their spirituality, to be attracted to these women. There are also plenty of men and women who would find a partner who prefers to more privately express their sexuality to be attractive. Your male friends are exploring the sexual side of themselves by engaging in that flirting and that is a perfectly normal, healthy thing! But many of us have been raised in society's that don't always treat sexuality as something that is normal, healthy, and okay to express.
Here is a link to a sex positive youtuber who was an excellent resource for me to begin educating myself on my sexuality and my approach to the sexuality of other people. I don't think that girl hate is something that needs to still prevail in this day and age, and I am in no way trying to hate on anyone in this thread. Sorry for the long post, this issue is just very close to me nowhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BwuASx8yT8
Very well said. Thank you for this!0 -
And Christian man or not, if his woman doesn't validate him and pleasure him regularly, chances are he will seek it out in some form.0
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Another thing, you sound like a very insecure and jealous woman. Build yourself up! Insecurities will make you bitter towards all beautiful women!
God made us to be sexual creatures. If we weren't sexually motivated, how the heck would we ever have children?
Take care of your emotional issues and look for a mate that is right for you. Look for a man who denies himself and takes up the cross. Plenty of people can talk the talk when it comes to following Christ, but how many walk the walk?
Not trying to get all "Jesus-y" here, but you said you had a problem with men who claim to be Christian, but don't act like it. Anybody can go around quoting stuff on their facebook page. There is an enormous handful of people who claim to know Jesus, but don't ever pick up the bible and apply it to their lives. They pick and choose! This is not the type of man for you.0 -
And Christian man or not, if his woman doesn't validate him and pleasure him regularly, chances are he will seek it out in some form.
Mmmmm yea, or if you validate and pleasure him daily, sometimes twice, he could still go cheat on you with a married woman while you sit at home being a good wife and mother :-)
Yes, that happened to me if you couldn't put the two together. It's about the person ~ not male or female.0 -
I have no idea what just happened rofl. But I will offer up my opinion, cause, well, that's what I do haha!
Men have two heads. Sometimes the little one overpowers the big one. Sometimes wanting a girl who looks, as you put it, like a slut is them thinking, "I bet you she'll rock my world in bed", or "Done and done...no way I'm not tapping that tonight.."
As for smoking pot, I've done it, I wasn't a slut ~ I was a stoner and in a committed relationship for 3 years with my stoner boyfriend haha.
I personally love sex. I'd do it all day everyday if I could. I'm good at it. Like Luda said, "...lady in the streets...freak in the bed.." That's me. Does it make me a slut? No, it makes me human.
Don't let these guys shortcomings get to you, find a better class of losers to hangout with...if you're hanging out with the "stoner-slut chasing" kind of guys, that's your issue to fix
...I don't see nothing wrooonnggg...with a little bump and grind...I don't see nothing wrronngggg :P
Hahaha! Joylia, I think you are my soulmate.
0 -
Live and let live. The end.0
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And Christian man or not, if his woman doesn't validate him and pleasure him regularly, chances are he will seek it out in some form.
Mmmmm yea, or if you validate and pleasure him daily, sometimes twice, he could still go cheat on you with a married woman while you sit at home being a good wife and mother :-)
Yes, that happened to me if you couldn't put the two together. It's about the person ~ not male or female.
I understand that and I am sorry that happened to you. But IMO, it's not the "norm". Again, just my opinion.0 -
I have no idea what just happened rofl. But I will offer up my opinion, cause, well, that's what I do haha!
Men have two heads. Sometimes the little one overpowers the big one. Sometimes wanting a girl who looks, as you put it, like a slut is them thinking, "I bet you she'll rock my world in bed", or "Done and done...no way I'm not tapping that tonight.."
As for smoking pot, I've done it, I wasn't a slut ~ I was a stoner and in a committed relationship for 3 years with my stoner boyfriend haha.
I personally love sex. I'd do it all day everyday if I could. I'm good at it. Like Luda said, "...lady in the streets...freak in the bed.." That's me. Does it make me a slut? No, it makes me human.
Don't let these guys shortcomings get to you, find a better class of losers to hangout with...if you're hanging out with the "stoner-slut chasing" kind of guys, that's your issue to fix
...I don't see nothing wrooonnggg...with a little bump and grind...I don't see nothing wrronngggg :P
Hahaha! Joylia, I think you are my soulmate.
Woot woot yay!!!! 0 -
OH CRAP- Does that make us sluts?
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If it makes you guys sluts... can I be one too? Pwease? :flowerforyou:OH CRAP- Does that make us sluts?0 -
OH CRAP- Does that make us sluts?
*squeezes her thumb and first finger together a bit* Kinda..maybe a little. But.....oh hell, we iz freaky like that....mmhmmm..boom shakalaka!0 -
is this a rant?
Yes...this is a rant.
Annoying.0 -
If it makes you guys sluts... can I be one too? Pwease? :flowerforyou:OH CRAP- Does that make us sluts?
The more the merrier! Bahaha! We so cyber slutty, we must be going to cyber hell.0 -
I'm not mad at anyone
2. I have seen with a number of my male friends.... they quote bible verses... all over their FB, Instagram and etc but then next minute they're flirting with a girl taking half naked pictures. and Ya I'd say a girl taking a pic of her rolling a blunt is trashy....
chances are they're losers that's why they like trash
and taking a picture naked and posting it on instagram does make you a slut.........
I think we have different ideas on the definition of slut. I thought a slut was someone who slept around a lot..0
This discussion has been closed.
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