Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??

rml_16

I was spanked, but only with a hand and rarely. I spanked my daughter, but no way would I have used a belt on her.

And I sure as hell never left her with welts or bleeding. That is NOT OK.

Masterdo

I can't speak about my experience being a parent, since I don't have kids.

But I can say that I distinctively remember that I would not have done that very long as a kid. My father would have just looked at me and that scene would have stopped right then, right there. And he never hit me either, I guess parents back then were just much clearer about what was ok and not.

I have a brother 14 years younger than me and a sister 18 years younger than me, and I can tell that my mother's attitude towards those situation is CLEARLY different now than it was when I was their age. They can get ANYTHING they want now, gosh I would have been evil given that much power, I can tell...

the_journeyman

FYI - Time outs are useless UNLESS you are removing a kid from an activity they ENJOY.

JM

DavidC1857

+2 And from the fact if he had spanked his son in the parking lot and someone with a camera phone had filmed it...he would be in jail and labled worst dad ever by the media.

And there is the problem right there. I was a kid. I would never had thrown a tantrum like that in a store, because Dad or Mom would have spanked me. Or Grandma, or the teacher, or someone. It's called discipline. You don't need to beat them until they bleed. That's abuse. But a simple spanking isn't. Once a kid learns that a tantrum earns them a spanking they won't do it anymore.

I had two boys. And neither of them threw that tantrum more than a few times either. When they did, they got spanked. And they learned not to.

We wonder why people are growing up having no idea what is right or wrong. Maybe it's because we've decided it is illegal to actually discipline and teach our children respect for others.

Charlie003

First, the kids are not spoiled. They are still operating on Id part of brain. The child was probably 3 because 4 year olds do not do that usually. I have a 28 month old. he will do that sometimes. He is not spoiled. He just wants what he wants. I let him go at it until he gets tired. But , for that reason I do not take him to restaurants or movies. But, stores, fair game to any social inconviences. If it bothers you so much, shop on the internet. But to call a child a brat or spoiled without knowing that particular individual is just ignorant.

JosieJo2000

I'm hoping you're a troll. You seem to be promoting the idea of beating a child with a belt until he or she bleeds because it works on you.

Tantrums are easy to deal with. You ignore, or go home, you never give in. Kids will only use tactics that get a result, if throwing a tantrum doesn't work they learn it isn't worth the effort. If you give in, even once, they will try it again and again.

Tantrums are a normal part of childhood development, it is a stage of kids learning they have their own will but they haven't quite worked out what to do with it yet. We need to teach them that, but big people hitting little people is not a good lesson to share.

secretlobster

I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled

Welp indeed

snowboardn

How old were your kids when you started spanking them? How old are they now?

The first time I spanked my daughter she was 3 and trying to stick her tongue in an electrical outlet. My kids are 7 and 6 now, daughter turns 8 in March.

To me the hand is much more dangerous than a belt or a switch, because the hand is much harder... A belt just stings. #1 rule is you don't spank out of anger.

ImprovingEla

Parents should stop try being friends with their kids and be their parents instead!
And that does NOT mean they have to spank their kids, but to set boundaries!
He should have taken the kid out of the store, no need to plea with it and set it in the car for a few minutes, shut the door, stay nearby and let the kid rant.
If the kid pauses, open the door and ask if he is done with his tantrum or wants to go on!

Geez, why do have parents these days aparently so much problems with handling their kids?
I only did this once or twice and my parents handled it without leaving the store and they never spanked me!

BurtHuttz

It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.

VanessaGS

I would get the look then go home and get the belt plus grounded for a week from everything.

be1163

I use to think the same as you and couldnt stand kids that act up while out in public. It was actually so bad I use to have to leave the store so I wouldnt lose it. Now that i have a two year old I understand the situation and have more patience. I'm not saying my daughter would get away with what you have described as she would be handled what my wife and I find works best for her.

In my opinion each person (adult or child) has ways that they respond to better than others. I'm one of the lucky one's I guess and know exactly what works for my daughter when these situations occur.

As you, I do remember the way my parents dealt with me when I was young and looking back it was effective. Was it the right way..not sure, but I do believe there is now better understanding of ways to deal with situations that could benefit going forward. Just not all parents and children are the same.

Just my two cents!

Beckyloo80

It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.

FTW!!!!! +1

corn63

I can't speak about my experience being a parent, since I don't have kids.

But I can say that I distinctively remember that I would not have done that very long as a kid. My father would have just looked at me and that scene would have stopped right then, right there. And he never hit me either, I guess parents back then were just much clearer about what was ok and not.

I have a brother 14 years younger than me and a sister 18 years younger than me, and I can tell that my mother's attitude towards those situation is CLEARLY different now than it was when I was their age. They can get ANYTHING they want now, gosh I would have been evil given that much power, I can tell...

Yup. My sister (who is 18yrs younger than I) is the exact same way. I ditto this post. Ditto

Rachlmale

Your post annoyed me much more than any child could. Promote child abuse elsewhere.

auroranflash

I was spanked, but only with a hand and rarely. I spanked my daughter, but no way would I have used a belt on her.

And I sure as hell never left her with welts or bleeding. That is NOT OK.

Same, I was spanked as a kid and I turned out just f...... okay, maybe I'm not the best example. :laugh:

DontStopB_Leakin

After rereading the OP's post, I see that she feels outright child abuse to be a proper form of discipline (and no, I'm not talking about the spankings).



Dear God, please don't ever have children.

sassylilmama

To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.

rant over.

Yes because spanking children so that they bleed really teaches them good behavior......

SarahCW1979

Blimey, if I left a store every time my kid threw a tantrum Id never get anything done. He's autistic and screams a LOT. It really helps to know that other people are scoring my parenting skills without knowing the full picture.

fleur_de_lis19

You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.

This and its none of your F-ing business how someone else parents a child.. thank you. Move along

Alcoria

i have the total opposite problem they are angels when we go out or have company but throw tantrums when here at the house they get sent to timeout (standing in a corner) i have a 5yrold, a 4yr old and a 2 yr old. or down for a nap my 2 yr old just gets sent to bed or timeout on the couch with no tv or anything until she calms down.

Charlie003

It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.

Point for you. :drinker:

secretlobster

I don't care about spanking vs. non-spanking. But when you hit a child with an object and cause them to bleed, that's abuse, and you're an unfit parent if you can't find a way to raise a child that doesn't involve breaking their skin.

fleur_de_lis19

It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.

Point for you. :drinker:

Nailed it!

Beckyloo80

Blimey, if I left a store every time my kid threw a tantrum Id never get anything done. He's autistic and screams a LOT. It really helps to know that other people are scoring my parenting skills without knowing the full picture.

AMEN!

You never know, maybe it was the same with the child in Michael's. you never know what is going on in someones life! So quick to judge.

StaceyJ2008

It is because when parents correct their child in public, other people try to get in their business and threaten to call child services. There is a difference between spanking your child and beating your child and apparently people do not know the difference.

As for me, I was never spanked as a kid. My mother always did the arm grab and would pull me out of the store if I acted up. I didn't act up much. But I was also afraid of my mom. It is okay to fear whatever discipline you are going to get. I think a lot of problem with children now is that they have absolutely no fear. End result, kicking and screaming and rolling around on the sidewalk.

mishomart

At least the dad didn't buy his kid the doll that started the tantrum in the first place. THAT would be cajoling the kid to stop

emily356

Only read the first few responses about how you must not have kids. Well, when I didn't have kids yet, that kind of behavior appaled me. And you know what ? It still does!! Unless the children have underlying issues (which some can, you never know), It is pitiful how kids rule over their parents today. I see it ALL the time. It is much easier for the parent to put up with it than to put their stuff up and leave that store. It depends on the age. I have a two year old, and you cannot reason very well with them. By age four, however, it is a totally different story. I have a two year old, a four year old, and a seven year old. They have all acted like that at some point. That doesn't mean there are not consequences. They get a stern warning. Then I tell them if they continue said behavior, what the consequences will be. Guess what? If they keep on, they get the exact consequence I said they would. No begging or pleading or "If you do that one more time", ugh I hate that one. Anyway, sorry for the novel. I have never spanked my children the way you were spanked, but we are very strict with them. Great attitudes and actions are acknowledged, unacceptable ones are disciplined. Is it easy? NO! Extremely hard and tiring. But I know as they get older, it will pay off.:)

pullipgirl

I see this a lot in the stores, the parents usually ignore them and they eventually stop crying or they taking the child to the car. I've seen one child ask their mom about a toy and what chores they can do at home to earn it.

secretlobster

Also if someone dragged me into a Michael's I'd throw a f'ing tantrum too