Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??
Replies
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You don't think the vast majority of people that spank their children are uneducated, less intelligent, and do it either because their parents did it or the Bible says to (or both)? As I mentioned before I knew they had to be out there, but I have never met someone who spanks their children that wasn't uneducated.
You've led a pretty sheltered life, I guess.0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
<--- 29, about to start PhD, will spank my kid. There is a difference between spanking and being abusive in my humble opinion. I don't want to coddle my kid.
For the record, I am not a parent. However, my brother, who has a Masters degree spanks his kid, my parents, also educated, spanked me etc.
My nephew came home one day and said, "CPS was at my school, they said my mom can't hit me."
Wrong.
In our state you can spank a child within an inch of their life, as long as it is open handed and no bruising is left behind. It is up to the individual parent to decide what works for THEIR kid.
As long as they don't ask me to spank their kid I have no issues with how they do it, discipline. Not abuse. There is a difference.
So this "College degree" ****. I call bull****.
You don't think the vast majority of people that spank their children are uneducated, less intelligent, and do it either because their parents did it or the Bible says to (or both)? As I mentioned before I knew they had to be out there, but I have never met someone who spanks their children that wasn't uneducated.
Hello.
Now that we've officially met, you can change that opinion. Me, my entire family, my entire country (well, mostly) and in many other cultures around the world, spanking is perfectly fine as long as its not abusive. Education doesn't really give you the license to coddle their kids0 -
Is it not possible that if you physically punish your child for bad behavior, they may not know later on when they are being spousally abused that itmis not ok. Or will they rationalise it as "I did something bad, I deserve this?"
(Yes, my spelling sucks) Please don't spank me!0 -
I only read about 4 pgs worth of responses. Many ppl are saying they would've taken the child home. This is what I had been doing with my three yr old who always has some sort of tantrum when we are shopping. But I never got anything done and just like another poster said, I didn't have a babysitter. I had to shop some way or another and while I have been really tempted to spank her right then and there on our last trip I just had to try to finish my shopping and let her scream. I was determined to not let her win. She dislikes stores and knows exactly what to do to get out. This time around I didn't let her win. I kept my cool but EVERYBODY was staring at us like they've never seen a child cry before. I live in NH and I don't exactly blend in with the other folks around here. if I lose my cool, I am going to be judged like crazy, if i stay calm probably judged too. If I spank, I'd be in jail as we speak. It was an awful feeling I truly wanted to cry myself. What I am trying to get at is that we don't know what that fathers situation was maybe this was just a different approache he was taking that day. Maybe he's done the spanking before, or has left stores numerous times. We don't know, and most of all you don't even know how he feels.0
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My mother would have taken me out of the store (without buying anything) immediately, gone home, and I would have been spanked and/or grounded for acting like that.0
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I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
<--- 29, about to start PhD, will spank my kid. There is a difference between spanking and being abusive in my humble opinion. I don't want to coddle my kid.
For the record, I am not a parent. However, my brother, who has a Masters degree spanks his kid, my parents, also educated, spanked me etc.
My nephew came home one day and said, "CPS was at my school, they said my mom can't hit me."
Wrong.
In our state you can spank a child within an inch of their life, as long as it is open handed and no bruising is left behind. It is up to the individual parent to decide what works for THEIR kid.
As long as they don't ask me to spank their kid I have no issues with how they do it, discipline. Not abuse. There is a difference.
So this "College degree" ****. I call bull****.
You don't think the vast majority of people that spank their children are uneducated, less intelligent, and do it either because their parents did it or the Bible says to (or both)? As I mentioned before I knew they had to be out there, but I have never met someone who spanks their children that wasn't uneducated.
Dude, be careful what you say mmmk? Have you done a study/poll or anything else that says for certain that the people who spank and discipline their children are uneducated? I think you're way off base here. My parents were educated and they still spanked my sister and I and I am sure that there are plenty of rich children out there who have been wholloped by their parent as well.
Spanking and disciplining a child is not a gauge on how educated someone is or isn't.0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
Spanking is acceptable. It is not the same as beating your kid, it should not be done out of sheer anger, but utilized in a way to get your childs attention. BA in music with 3 declared minors.
This might be correct. The only argument I have ever heard in favor of an occasional spanking that makes any sense is when you have to get a child's attention to stop them right now (running into traffic, grabbing a hot stove etc). I think a lot of people would suggest that this sort of situation should be avoided entirely by being able to see far enough ahead to anticipate te danger.
Perhaps; but I've used it with my nephews when they've started having a tantrum, and talking reasonably doesn't do anything. A swat on the bottom catches their attention though, and it usually buys enough time to employ tactics to calm them down.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
^ LOL. :flowerforyou:
Kids throw tantrums,that's one of the many things in life that they are totally awesome at.
I haven't read many of the comments because I'm sure this has turned into a debate about spanking. So to answer the question -
When my oldest daughter tries throwing tantrums in the store,I remove her from the store, fasten her in her car seat,and turn the music in the car up. She got the hint pretty fast, she very seldom pitches a fit in the store anymore.0 -
There are far more inventive ways of correcting behaviour. You have to be pretty unoriginal to need to resort to spanking.
You have to be pretty unoriginal to not be able to accept and admit that your way is not the only and absolute right way.
When it comes to beating children, I'll stick with my unoriginal thinking that it's the last (only?) resort of the ... well you get the idea.0 -
We call those types of kids "Wal-mart kids" because there's always a crying or screaming kid when we go to Wal-mart. I don't have kids, but I do wish parents would discipline their children when they act out. I also wish they would set up ground rules before entering a store. How hard is it to tell the child "We are going into this store for food. I need you to behave yourself and help me while shopping. If you do when we get home you can watch your favorite movie! If you don't you will have to take a time out." You can discipline without spanking a child.
My Ma put the fear of being left at the store in our heads... She told us one time "If you throw a fit, I'll leave you here and you'll have to live with some other mom who is much meaner than I am" So my brother and I walked quietly with her, one hand on the cart at all times. She never had any issues with us. Granted we got spanked at home and grounded and time outs... Kids will act out, throw fits, siblings will fight... It's part of growing up. Part of being a parent is disciplining a child when they misbehave.
If I was that dad I would have laid down the expectations of this shopping trip and if the kid still threw the fit I'd have him have a time out right there in the store. No attention given to the child because when you whisper to the child "Please stop screaming" you are giving in, you are giving him what he wants, attention.
I recommend Super Nanny's timeouts and ways of discipline... I used it once on my 12 year old sister... surprised me that it works!0 -
I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.
rant over.
Kids throw tantrums, its a part of life, each to their own degree on how bad they'll throw. I'm sure when you had pitched a fit there were properly others around who were judging your parents as well. Spanking btw doesn't always work, just as time outs don't always work, the only thing which helps is consistency of the discipline but even then it may fail when it comes to little kids. Also, the father not giving into the kid for what he want is a part of discipline so kudos to that father.0 -
I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.
rant over.
I'm happy you don't have any of your own also.
*has that been said yet? I didn't check all the pages......0 -
My kids DO NOT flip out in the store, it happened one time and I left everything there in the middle of the isle we walked out to the car went home and they got nothing that they wanted from the store for weeks, they were also not allowed to go with me again until they could behave. It never happened again. The same goes for in restaurants except there has never been an issue sitting down and eating at a restaurant ever even when they were younger. I see it this way....I am the adult/parent, they are the child, I make the rules and they follow them. Simple as that, kids will behave badly when they know there are no consequences. Kids screaming in restaurants actually kind of bugs me, most people go out to eat to enjoy a nice meal without hearing screaming children, if you can't keep them under control don't go out or get a sitter.0
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1.) Spanking should be done on the rear with some sort of designated paddle. Never use your hand, a belt, or whatever object happens to be closest at hand. Also, make sure your child is bent over so that the rear is the primary target, and you are not as likely to accidently miss the butt and strike them on the back.
I disagree with using a foreign object to spank your child with, and I feel like I've even read in parenting and child development forums (I was a little paranoid that I didn't know how to take care of a child when I was pregnant lol) that you should only use your open palm and nothing else if you choose to spank, but I could be wrong, it was a long time ago that I read those types of things. But I do agree, the rear should be the only area that gets any type of contact because a light spank on the bottom doesn't hurt, but the same amount of force on the lower back or upper thigh may hurt.
I probably should have elaborated a little more on that point. The reason I say don't use your hand is because I think your child should associate your hands with GENTLE acts of love like holding them close, wiping their tears, nursing their booboo's, etc... When I say paddle, I mean something light weight, about the size of your hand, which will leave a sting without leaving a welt or a bruise. For example, something the size of a ping pong paddle. It won't do any permanent harm, but it will leave a sting your child won't soon forget. And it's small enough to fit in mom's purse, so you can take it with you wherever you go. Belts, hair brushes, plastic Hot Wheels race tracks (yes, I've heard of people using these), etc... should not be used as they can actually leave permanent marks. Most of my friends and family adhere to this, and they seem to get good results with it. I've gotten good results myself, as well.0 -
I am just glad my kids are grown and I don't have to deal with these issues anymore. Too many opinions on how to raise kids but it sounded like the kid was in control, dad wasn't. That being said, with my kids spankings never helped but have them stand in the corner while their favorite tv show is on. That got results, lol0
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I have a son who has autism. You wouldn't know this by looking at him. He cannot control his emotions and gets overstimulated when in public. The best approach with him is for ME to remain calm. YOU may think I just don't care, but that's how to deal with this kind of behavior. Please, remember this quote:
Discipline does not cure autism, but thanks for your concern.0 -
Now that we've officially met, you can change that opinion. Me, my entire family, my entire country (well, mostly) and in many other cultures around the world, spanking is perfectly fine as long as its not abusive. Education doesn't really give you the license to coddle their kids
I have a PhD in Coddleology so back the f up girlfriend0 -
My personal favorite is when the parents totally ignore them.
I think you need to react and react quickly to discipline them in what ever fashion works. A quick swat on the behind never killed anyone.0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
I have a college degree, am under 75 and think it is okay to discipline by spanking if the stiuation calls for it. I don't believe spanking out of anger or frustration, nor using such force as to cause marks, but a good paddling won't be bad.0 -
My mother never let me throw tantrums in the first place. The second i started, we were out the door. Then I knew from then on that if I wanted to stay somewhere, I would have to behave.
Not to toot my mom's horn, but I was an insanely well behaved child, as well as my sister. She was great in the parenting department
Now when I see kids today, I just think there is such a lack of disrespect shown towards parents, and they get away with it and more! My absolute worst is letting children cry in restaurants, or when you hear some parents telling their child to shut up. A big no-no in my book! 0 -
Other people's children suck.
There are two kinds of people watching a tantrum. The kind that think, Oh that poor child. The rest are thinking, Oh the poor parents.0 -
This is exactly what is wrong with the world today. Parents are afraid of their kids and therefore the kids run the household. I mean look at the first few idiots in this thread saying that it's normal behavior for a 4 year old and basically that the dad shouldn't have whipped the little sh1t head. I know I didn't act like that with my dad when I was 4 or we would have went to the bathroom and me got my *kitten* busted. My dad only ever had to whip me about 3 times and I knew how act like a human being afterwards instead of an untrained monkey.0
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Children will be children. I threw my fair share of tantrums. My parents were never sappy enough to plead with me to stop, but they certainly never hit me so hard with a belt that I bled. I hope that method doesn't get passed down the family.
I did get my fair share of spankings, never that bad. At least the dad stuck to his guns and didn't give in and gave him what he wanted to shut him up! I think so many kids are just never taught to be respectful. I see some mouth off to their parents and nobody seems to think it is a big deal.0 -
I didn't read all the offended parent responses, but kid tantrums in stores remind my why I don't have (and don't want) kids.... Hearing that literally makes my ovaries recoil :laugh:0
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I have a young nephew. I've been there during some of his public meltdowns, and it's no fun.When I see this in public with other kids, I just want to see that the parents are dealing with it. Either by interacting with the kid over the behavior (any method other than hitting), or making some effort to get out of the store. When the parents ignore it and continue on like everything is fine, while the rest of us poor souls suffer, I don't like that.0
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Is it not possible that if you physically punish your child for bad behavior, they may not know later on when they are being spousally abused that itmis not ok. Or will they rationalise it as "I did something bad, I deserve this?"
(Yes, my spelling sucks) Please don't spank me!
Yeah ... That's why I don't mind when the BF beats me and my daughter has been in and out of one abusive relationship after another.
Yep. You nailed it.
BAER0 -
Not a parent here, so I don't know how I would react, but the loud high pitch screaming in a store gets to me. I think I would probably take the kid in the car to scream it out.
I don't think I have the patience for children in all honesty. And to the moms and dads who I used to think were big, mean people (when I was little) just bent on destroying my fun, the older I get (ya, I'm ancient, haha) the more I see WHY you do the things you do. You have my sympathy.0 -
I like looking at the forum topics and trying to decide which "rant" will completely backfire on the op.
this one was easy.0 -
I think it's funny when people don't know the difference between a spanking and a beating. I can only surmise that you were beaten and your parents called it spanking.There are far more inventive ways of correcting behaviour. You have to be pretty unoriginal to need to resort to spanking.
You have to be pretty unoriginal to not be able to accept and admit that your way is not the only and absolute right way.
When it comes to beating children, I'll stick with my unoriginal thinking that it's the last (only?) resort of the ... well you get the idea.0 -
My mother never let me throw tantrums in the first place. The second i started, we were out the door. Then I knew from then on that if I wanted to stay somewhere, I would have to behave.
Not to toot my mom's horn, but I was an insanely well behaved child, as well as my sister. She was great in the parenting department Now when I see kids today, I just think there is such a lack of disrespect shown towards parents, and they get away with it and more! My absolute worst is letting children cry in restaurants, or when you hear some parents telling their child to shut up. A big no-no in my book!
Kids get away with more because parents can't hit their child in public or otherwise. If they swat their kid in public some nosey old person will be up their *kitten* and in their business chastising them for hitting. If they swat their child at home they're smart enough to go run to school and tell the teacher that their parent is beating them and then open a whole other can of worms that the parent doesn't want and YES that DOES happen! Not only that but if a teacher yells at a child they will say "You can't do anything to me! I'll call the police and tell them you hit me!" YES, that DOES happen! My mother worked as a school secretary for years and she was shocked at how much these kids knew about the system and how they would use it to their own advantage.0
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