Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??
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Hitting is only okay between two consenting adults who have agreed in advance upon a safeword.
*ahem* how you doin
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My daughter threw ONE fit. That's it. One. I don't remember what it was for. But, she threw herself of the floor kicking and screaming. I then threw myself down kicking and screaming. Made a real scene. She was 3. She looked at me like I was nuts...... so did most of the store....... I stood up, looked at her and told her it looked just as stupid when she did it, and if she EVER embarrassed me like that again in public, she would get a spanking. Never did it again.
OMG I know someone who did the exact same thing and she said it worked like a charm.:laugh:0 -
I don't have any rude little twerps.
I don't blame the parent, unless they unleash stupid discipline. I don't blame the kid if the parent drags them to a store and doesn't give the rules of store behavior prior to entering the store. "No touching stuff, no asking for stuff, no wanting, needing, begging, crying, whining. We are going in here for this certain thing, we will behave."
Once upon a time I was in Walmart, in the check out line behind a kid who was freaking out and the mom said, "If you don't knock it off I'm taking you to the car." YOU ARE. CHECKING. OUT. What kind of threat is that?
Oh and don't be a parent who "counts to three" because if you get to three and you have failed to do what you were going to do, I will CONTINUE to count and your kid and I will humiliate you.
I have a twerpy 2 yr old nephew. When my sister puts him on time out I make faces at him.
If a parent at a store gives a kid a dog toy, then OBSCENE squeaking happens, I will take the toy away and put it high on a shelf.
However, I empathize with the kid sometimes and the parent digs it. Boy at grocery store let his balloon go, WORLD WAS ENDING. Kid was in hysterics. Mom was just trying to make her purchases. Bagging girl kept telling the kid, "It'll be okay, I promise it will." The kid kept saying, "No." I blurted out, "His BALLOON IS GONE. Right now, the world is over. Right kid?" He stopped crying. He needed to commiserate a little.
Children are not unreasonable, adults are.
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I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
What bubble do you live in?
Hahaha, I was thinking the same thing!
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You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
+1
^^ This. As a mother of a 4 year old boy I can tell you that kids throw tantrums all the time. Especially if they are used to getting toy or etc on a regular basis. I am sure the father was trying to quiet his son up so people like you wouldn't make a ridiculous post like this...wow.0 -
I've only read the first two pages of this thread and quickly skimmed the rest, but I know this has been mentioned...
I, for one, am personally so sick and tired of everyone being so damn judgmental. ESPECIALLY when the ones doing the judging don't have kids.
My daughter is a typical 3 year old. She's basically a good kid, but when she sees a toy in the store she wants she has thrown tantrums. I agree with most other parents here. I've left the store and not gotten anything and strapped her in her car seat and we went right home. She understands what I say when I tell her she cannot throw tantrums in public and that's definitely not how she's going to get something she wants.
On the other hand, my son is 2 years old and has autism.
Did anyone judging ever stop and think about what might be going on when a child is throwing a major tantrum? That child might have special needs (such as autism) like mine does. Even though he is two he doesn't speak, so it's impossible for him to tell me what he wants/needs ever. He also has little to no understanding of receptive language yet so he can't really understand what I'm saying when I tell him, "No, you can't grab that toy off the shelf and take it with you." Also, children with autism are (or at least the ones I've met, maybe not all) extremely sensory sensitive.
My son is extremely sensitive to certain lights and sounds. Loud crowds (such as in shopping stores or malls) freak him out and can cause major anxiety and a tantrum. The fluorescent lights in stores seem to make him very uncomfortable as well. I try to shop as quickly and as efficiently as I can, but I can't keep my two year old trapped inside my house and never come out with me.
I'm sorry if children like my son "bother" you while you're shopping, but really, it's probaby 15 minutes out of your day you might hear him scream in a supermarket. Go on with your life, move along.
Just remember that some children aren't just "being brats"...some might actually have problems that you don't know about because you're so busy being that bi*** person all us moms (and dads!) see on a regular basis. It's sad, really.
Just my two cents.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
Yup. You should've pointed out that father's shortcomings to his face like a real woman.
Yes, this. Next time make sure you tell the parent in question how to handle the tantrum. Also, make sure to point out what an expert you are on the subject, being childless and all.0 -
I am calling BS on this post.
Who the hell can stay in Michael's for 45 mins? And if you didn't have kids with you, why would YOU stay in Michael's for 45mins?
I think you should have left the store and let the man get on with his business. He was right in not giving into his child....that is very bad learned behavior. He was right not to leave the store as kids need to learn to behave in public. He was wrong for pleading with his child to stop.
My 3.5 year old gets 2 warnings and then I simply say one word "OK"...that means she just lost something and is on a slippery slope to more. She knows now to immediately stop her behavior or she is on the verge of losing something else she cherishes (night time snack, books in bed, TV show before bed, gymnastics on the spare bed, whatever it is she truly loves to do. I do not yell, beg or cry.....I simply ask her twice and then start removing things. She is savy enough to know that if she keeps going, the night will go poorly for her.
I have never, nor will I, take her out of a store or situation where she is acting poorly...she has learned that she needs to behave in public...that is where this man was wrong.
At the end of the day, it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS though. So take your post and ram it. Yuo don't have kids, so you don't know or get it.0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
<--- 29, about to start PhD, will spank my kid. There is a difference between spanking and being abusive in my humble opinion. I don't want to coddle my kid.
For the record, I am not a parent. However, my brother, who has a Masters degree spanks his kid, my parents, also educated, spanked me etc.0 -
I don't have a problem with crying kids, even though when I was little if I cried in public I got one warning and if I continued we left right then and there. Getting denied fun things made me stop that behavior real quick. However, I have lots of younger cousins and I understand children are difficult.
Reason number 490548 why I'm terrified to have kids. I know one day I'll be the parent people are judging without any knowledge of the situation. Oh man.
I am going to get my daughter hooked on XBOX which she will get to play after homework is done. If she misbehaves, I'll threaten to delete her save points. She'll straighten right up, that would scare me into giving the microfilm to the soviets.0 -
I am calling BS on this post.
Who the hell can stay in Michael's for 45 mins? And if you didn't have kids with you, why would YOU stay in Michael's for 45mins?
Hello?? MICHAELS HAS GLITTER AND SHINY THINGS.0 -
My daughter threw ONE fit. That's it. One. I don't remember what it was for. But, she threw herself of the floor kicking and screaming. I then threw myself down kicking and screaming. Made a real scene. She was 3. She looked at me like I was nuts...... so did most of the store....... I stood up, looked at her and told her it looked just as stupid when she did it, and if she EVER embarrassed me like that again in public, she would get a spanking. Never did it again.
Thus you are awesome. I like this.0 -
My kids throw fits in the store and I NEVER get them what they want. They still do it, and it's very embarrassing because we know it bothers people like you and it isn't fun for us either.0
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I'm saying I didn't throw tantrums. If I did, I'd get it bad with a leather belt. And it worked on me. I was spanked for backtalking, pouting, and crying (if I was warned and didn't stop). When i was older (6-9) I was spanked for getting grades below a B. I was raised right, and disciplined well. I grew up fine, had good grades, wasn't rude, was thankful for what I got, and respected my parents...who chose to discipline me.
I worked with kids a lot when I was in HS (daycare). This was when i decided I would never have them. I don't hate kids, but I don't ever want one.
Your parents sound like complete bullies with serious anger and control issues.
I am relieved you don't ever want children, if you believe that what your parents did was right.0 -
I am not a parent and feel their pain. They really are in a tough spot in this situation.. But, I'm Asian and we don't really deal with the tantrums like they do in US. We just get a slap and that is the end usually.
However, our parents realize that the people around them don't really give a crap about their situation and just want this to be over. I mean, going to a mall or store is not really a big deal but imagine going to a nice restaurant and having to put up with somebodys elses child. Once again, I understand that you're in a tough spot however don't make your problem my problem. I am trying to enjoy a meal. Be kind to me too and take the kid out. Discipline or console him anyway you wish but at least take him out so the others don't have to suffer...
ETA: There are a few restaurants in US now who have a zero tolerance for crying babies. They flat out ask you to leave if your kid doesn't stop and/or you don't take the kid outside to deal with it
That post wins. Being a parent must be tough, fine, but that's your problem, not the entire world's
Not having children has nothing to do with this either. People act all entitled when they get kids, but the only thing they ever did to get one in the first place is have sex... There is absolutely no other requirements to have a kid, so I don't think that by itself, having one makes you that much wiser and even capable of judging such situations... They are just stuck with the problem though, while everyone else can just armchair judge it. Doesn't make their solution better though.0 -
I'm not a parent, but I watch my cousin's 4 kids (ages 5,5,3,7 months). They sometimes throw tantrums. Their parents discipline well and they are taught the right way. BUT KIDS THROW TANTRUMS. It's a part of life.
I remember throwing tantrums when I was little. I didn't get away with it and my parents would spank me - never ever with a belt, but with their bare hand. I deserved it, and when I have kids of my own, they'll get spanked when they deserve it too.
Here's the deal...the guy should have left with his kid when the tantrum started....he shouldn't have stayed in the store for 45 minutes letting him scream. He DEFINITELY shouldn't have let him lay on the ground & thrash and kick. BUT...kids are kids and sometimes they do that kind-of stuff.
Tolerance is key.0 -
Maybe because you don't have children you don't understand the emotions of a child. My two year old is an angel 99% of the time. But imagine that every disappointing event in life felt like the worst thing that has ever happened to you. No matter how slight. That is what is happening to children. Not getting a toy feels like you whole family just died in some tragic accident. Children don't know how to deal with all of those overwhelming feelings. Just think, someone else's crying kid sent you to a message board to rant to a bunch of strangers on the internet. Honestly its not much different. You are just lucky that none of us can beat you with a belt for it. And from what I have read there seem to be a few volunteers already.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
Wait till you have kids. I never understood till I had mine own. My son is two and we have our days he does this. Sometimes it happens.0
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Please do not EVER change your mind about not having children. You have chosen wisely.0
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My mom would have left the store immediately and there would have been hell to pay when we got home. When my daughter was younger, if she started crying, we just left as well. I don't like listening to someone's kid cry and scream and I refuse to subject others to my kids doing it.0
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When they act up at a store it is entirely different than a sit down restaurant. Shopping can be a necessity, where as eating at a sit down restaurant is not. I don't really care if a persons shopping experience is "ruined" because a child is having a tantrum. As a parent, there can be times you have NO choice but to take your child with you. I am glad that I have the option to leave them at home but I understand that not every parent has that choice. Suck it up and be happy that you aren't in the parents shoes.0
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I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
Spanking is acceptable. It is not the same as beating your kid, it should not be done out of sheer anger, but utilized in a way to get your childs attention. BA in music with 3 declared minors.
This might be correct. The only argument I have ever heard in favor of an occasional spanking that makes any sense is when you have to get a child's attention to stop them right now (running into traffic, grabbing a hot stove etc). I think a lot of people would suggest that this sort of situation should be avoided entirely by being able to see far enough ahead to anticipate te danger.0 -
On a related note:
To all the other parents out there whose young children sometimes throw tantrums in public, know that I as a mom, and most other moms out there, understand how you feel and are NOT judging you harshly. We sympathize, though there is not much we can say except "I've been there, too!" :flowerforyou:
The one exception is if you're beating your child - then I WILL step in to help you diffuse your anger in a less destructive way - often just by pointing out that we parents have all been there and it WILL pass.
And I agree with the other posters who pointed out that a store is not the same as a restaurant (where a parent really should leave if their child keeps screaming - more than just a few minutes - and disrupting the other diners who are paying for the service and atmosphere as well as the food at the restaurant).0 -
Other people's children suck.
All children suck!
My children are pretty amazing.0 -
I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.
rant over.
I absolutely would have been spanked for behaving that way. However, it would never have gotten to the point that I threw myself down, kicking and screaming. My mom would have left the store when I first started pitching a fit, leaving the cart wherever it happened to be at the time. She would have marched me straight out to the car, given me a few good swats on the butt, and sat there with me until I stopped crying. Then would come the "lecture", which I usually hated more than the spanking. If my attitude improved, we would go back in the store so she could finish her shopping. If I was still being difficult, we went home, and I was put down for a nap while mama removed my toys from me and I was not allowed to play with them for a set period of time (usually the rest of that day and all of the next). I absolutely think there are some situations that warrant spanking a child....SPANKING, not BEATING. There's a HUGE difference.
1.) Spanking should be done on the rear with some sort of designated paddle. Never use your hand, a belt, or whatever object happens to be closest at hand. Also, make sure your child is bent over so that the rear is the primary target, and you are not as likely to accidently miss the butt and strike them on the back.
2.) NEVER spank your child while you are angry. This often leads to a beating rather than a proper spanking, which is what it sounds like happened in your case. A child should never be "spanked" until blood is drawn. In such a case, it is no longer classified as a spanking, but rather a beating. That should never have happened.
3.) IMO, there are specific cases where spanking is warranted (deliberate disobedience/disrespect and dishonest behavior of any kind), but in most cases it should only be used as a last resort. Once the child has been warned to stop the behavior, there should be a first consequence such as confiscating a favorite toy, no "treat" that day (i.e. eating at McD's, no dessert at dinner, etc...) If the bad behavior continues, follow through with the confiscation process. If that does not work, and the behavior continues, THEN a spanking is warranted. However, it should be done within a reasonable amount of time after the behavior has begun. Don't let it escalate to the point that the child is throwing themselves down on the ground, kicking and screaming, and you have reached your wit's end.
Before any of you ask, no, I don't have any children of my own. However, I have discussed this issue at length with many of my friends and family members who have children, and they all tell me they get the best results when they follow these guidelines. Also, I have six nieces and nephews and I lived in the same household with four of them for more than a year. I always got good results when following the above guidelines. If I deviated from it, THEN I had problems with their behavior. To this day, I can usually get those kids (two of them are now teenagers) to do what I ask with very little trouble. If they do give me any lip, all it takes is one stern look for them to know I mean business.0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
I have a college degree, am under 75, and I'm okay with an open handed swat on the bottom---with conditions.
I was spanked as a kid. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I was spanked, it never actually hurt, and my parents never did it as an "anger" reaction. It was honestly more embarrassing than anything, and just got my attention. As I got old enough to reason with, I didn't get spankings anymore (although I did get slapped in the mouth once when I was 15, but truth be told, I totally deserved it lol). I have MAYBE spanked my son twice and the behavior stopped immediately. No tears, because I didn't do it to cause pain, but more of "OH! I gotta listen to Mom!" attention-grabbing type thing. Problem is, a lot of people who spank do it out of anger and frustration and do it too hard. The last thing I want is to physically hurt my child and I never want him to see me lash out in anger. Now that he's a little older, 6, and I can explain things better to him, I don't have any reason to spank because I can reason with him. But when he was 3/4, it did help to get his attention.
Bottom line, if your intention is to physically hurt your child, and you do not have control of your emotions and the situation, it's completely inappropriate, but if your intent is to alert your child that a situation is not acceptable and they are not capable of understanding verbal reasoning, I don't see anything wrong with a light smack on the bottom (not bare skin). Not sure if what I've described is what most people think of traditionally as "spanking" but to me that's the only acceptable form.0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
My father has a bachelor's in psychology and a couple master's degrees and is a certified teacher and I was spanked as a child. Oh yeah, his father was a patent attorney, mother had a master's degree and stepmonther was a pediatrician.
I have a bachelor's degree. I spanked my daughter when warranted.
But I bow to your obviously superior intelligence. :flowerforyou:0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
<--- 29, about to start PhD, will spank my kid. There is a difference between spanking and being abusive in my humble opinion. I don't want to coddle my kid.
For the record, I am not a parent. However, my brother, who has a Masters degree spanks his kid, my parents, also educated, spanked me etc.
My nephew came home one day and said, "CPS was at my school, they said my mom can't hit me."
Wrong.
In our state you can spank a child within an inch of their life, as long as it is open handed and no bruising is left behind. It is up to the individual parent to decide what works for THEIR kid.
As long as they don't ask me to spank their kid I have no issues with how they do it, discipline. Not abuse. There is a difference.
So this "College degree" ****. I call bull****.0 -
Must have been torture for you to be held against your will in a craft store.0
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Is it possible that his son might be autistic or have some other sort of condition? I've worked with autistic children in the past and there's nothing that will stop a tantrum really. The littlest things can set them off. You just have to pray for strength for the parents and hope they find something that works for their child.:flowerforyou: you never know the struggles of a family. I guess working with those kids made me think twice.
ETA it put the wrong icon
That may be true, but it doesn't mean the father handled it correctly. When the child started throwing a tantrum, it was time for them to leave. No need for punishment or what-have-you, just leave. It shows the child that behavior is not acceptable in public.
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agreed. sometimes that's easier said than done.0
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