Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??
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When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
I wouldn't equate "I don't want to deal with tantrums" with "condemning the human race"0 -
OMG! right! I so agree!!! listening to a child have a tantrum sucks so bad.
But since we're ranting, I just have to say I can't STAND the holier than thou pieces of **** who judge everyone regardless of being ignorant of the circumstances. I know they are better at absolutely everything in the world than I am, just a mere mortal. Even thought they don't have children I KNOW they know far more about how to raise other people's children. I guess I'm just jealous that the world doesn't revolve around me like it does them.
rant over...
:noway:
^ This. I like this.0 -
Children throw tantrums, even the "best ones" Don't be so judgmental.0
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People do their best parenting before they themsleves become parents........0
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Most people handle this wrong. I've had 3 kids. None of them ever threw tantrums in public. Children do this because they know they can without any reprecussions.
OR because they get overstimulated by all the lights, commotion and so on. Some of it is just luck. My daughter has mostly outgrown tantrums in the store and she just turned 2. I have a friend who spanks her son plenty and he still has meltdowns in stores at age 12. He probably gets spanked everyday. But, he's somewhat on the autism spectrum and gets overstimulated. I've spanked my kid once for climbing on the kitchen table and she's just been outgrowing tantrums in the store with very little intervention from me. My kid isn't better in the store because I'm a better parent, she's better in the store because I got lucky enough to get a kid who outgrows it faster.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Ha, ha. Well, that's the bad side. There's an awesome sweet side too. Once you see that, you'll know why people want to have them. Plus, it's nice having someone do all the house cleaning, and chores. And, it's nice to know that someone will take care of you when you can no longer take care of yourself.
It's not that I've never seen the good side of a child, it's just that I don't think that a hug and an "I love you mommy" is worth the screaming, crying, money and effort. I just feel like I could get the same "sweet" side out of a puppy, really.
Also, there's no guarantee that your kids will care for you when they're old. Visit a nursing home - especially around this time of year - and ask a nurse how many residents they have whose families never come to see them. Could be that their kids live far away, have demanding jobs, a handful of little kids - it's sad, but true.0 -
Kids screaming in restaurants actually kind of bugs me, most people go out to eat to enjoy a nice meal without hearing screaming children, if you can't keep them under control don't go out or get a sitter.
THIS!!!!! I do NOT want to hear YOUR screaming misbehaving child when I am out on a date with my husband. Don't you want to spend time alone with YOUR husband? Get a sitter! Have a date night. Dinner for two is cheaper than dinner for two plus kiddos. And they won't eat all their food anyway and it is wasteful. Please, PLEASE leave your kid with a sitter!
I am fine with kids in restaurants if they are well behaved. But the minute a kid stands up in THEIR booth and leans over the back of the booth and into my personal space and the parent does nothing about it... oh. It's on. I sat in a restaurant a week ago and watched two little girls bounce in their booth and lean over the back into another diner's personal space. The other diner had to get up, ask the parents to please stop their children from leaning over and bouncing around the booth. And the parent did nothing. I felt so horrible for the diner
and the parents comment? "Kids will be kids. If you don't like it, go somewhere else." (I'm an eavesdropper) Absolutely frustrating.
Theres a few restaurants who've plainly said in a notice on their entrance door something along the lines of "customers with crying babies will be asked to leave". The restaurants have a huge list of "offended" people who try to tell them off but at the same time, they have lots of business because people know that you can eat peacefully there.
Once again, I feel for the parents, I really do. However, you do NOT have a right to ruin my time just because your child decided to be disruptive...
If there is not a notice on the door stating otherwise, my children have as much of a right to be there as anyone else does. I guarantee we will spend more money there than most of the other patrons will. And I cannot tell you how many times my meals have been ruined by loud, distasteful ADULTS. Have you ever tried asking someone to put away their cell phone or to tone down their language or to maybe find a different subject matter to discuss over dinner? It's just as annoying to dine with obnoxious adults as it is disruptive children. I have more tolerance for children, who are still learning. Adults *should know better*. When I find myself in that situation, I have two choices--deal with it or move on. I would say the same for people who are bothered by my children.
Children do have a right to be there. They also have the right to act like humans instead of monkeys, stay in your booth, not be screaming and throwing food the entire time, etc. No one said children aren't welcome, but restaurants are restaurants, not playgrounds so if you bring your children to a restaurant they shouldn't be acting like it's a playground.
I completely agree.
I have never once told someone to quiet their child but I have given them the look. And as for the conversations are you only offended by them because you have small children around who might hear what they're saying? If that's the case then here's an idea: Don't take your small children to that restaurant any more! Find a place that's more child friendly like Friendly's or Chuck-E-Cheese. I'm sorry but I have never had a meal ruined by someone having a loud and "distasteful" conversation. Loud? Sure but when I go out with a group of people we tend to get loud as well and believe me I have had many conversations that I am positive some people would deem to be "distasteful" but never once has anyone come up to me and asked me to be quiet. And why is it your business to comment on the subject matter any way and who are you to ask someone to talk about a different subject matter?
There's a huge difference between a child who is screaming, throwing food and banging their feet on the back of the booth or jumping around in the booth and leaning over my shoulder (yes, this has happened before!) and the parent just sits there and smiles and laughs. How is that respectful of ME and the time that I'm spending there? Why is it ok for your child to scream, throw food and stare at me over the seat of the booth and ruin my dinner and my time but it's not ok for people to talk loudly or *gasp* have "distasteful" conversations?0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Ha, ha. Well, that's the bad side. There's an awesome sweet side too. Once you see that, you'll know why people want to have them. Plus, it's nice having someone do all the house cleaning, and chores. And, it's nice to know that someone will take care of you when you can no longer take care of yourself.
You had children so they could put their life on hold to take care of you in your old age? A bit selfish, isn't it?0 -
I personally dislike the use of objects to hit children. If I were to take off my belt and whack an adult, I'd be charged with assault with a weapon. I see no difference in hitting a small child with an object, who is less able to defend themselves, both physically and legally.
Beautifully made point.0 -
To all of you who think the solution is just to leave the store when your child acts up...
I have to drive 45 minutes to get to most stores. Have y'all seen the price of gas lately? Not only that, but as a working and homeschooling mother with six children, I am VERY limited on the time I can make these out-of-town shopping trips. If y'all think I'm going to turn around and take my child(ren) home just because they are having a rough day and acting their age, only to have to try it all over again later, think again. Sorry if it ruins *your* trip, but you are a grown-up, so you should have the emotional skills to deal with a few minutes of whining. And I'll discipline my child in my own way and in my own time. I've got 19 years of parenting experience, and I'm pretty confident by now that my way works *for us*.
In short "hey, I have problems and now they're your problems too. Because I'm a parent, I am entitled to make my problems your problems. Because I'm a parent".
Sorry but you just gave good parents a bad name by basically telling everybody else that they need to grow up and deal with YOUR kid throwing tantrums. Let me guess, you also tell other people in restaurants to grow up and deal with your kid. Right?
^ Amen.0 -
Judge me all you want. When your kids are adults, we can compare notes. I have seen the results of raising my child. You haven't seen your results yet.
Wow, where to begin?
First, life is a journey, not a destination. The quality of life for a child, that thing called a childhood, is just as important as how well they turn out as an adult.
Second, there are many factors which lead to the culmination of a person. Experience, genetics, opportunity, love, to name a few. How a child turns out is not the result of one sole factor - in your implied claim, spanking. It's a mix of many things. Perhaps your child turned out great despite being spanked. Perhaps your child could have been so much more without spanking. You'll never know. Or maybe you aren't objective, or don't know the entirety of her existence, or what is to yet to come.
I'm surprised that you would try to turn it into a contest, if I'm honest.
She's 18. So much more than what?
Age has nothing to do with potential. Unless achieving 18 was the goal?And, seriously, she had a great childhood. Could it have been better? Whose couldn't have been? But the quality of her childhood has nothing to do with whether she was spanked. It didn't happen often and it was only when necessary and ONLY with my hand. No welts. No bruises. No bleeding.
Well, if there were no welts, bruises or bleeding, then it must have been okay! And certainly the best means of achieving your goals (back to my point, which you kept avoiding.) Makes perfect sense. I hear a phone book is quite useful for keeping away marks in a pinch.If your children have half the childhood she (or I!) had, they will be very lucky children.
I'm going for even better.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Ha, ha. Well, that's the bad side. There's an awesome sweet side too. Once you see that, you'll know why people want to have them. Plus, it's nice having someone do all the house cleaning, and chores. And, it's nice to know that someone will take care of you when you can no longer take care of yourself.
You had children so they could put their life on hold to take care of you in your old age? A bit selfish, isn't it?
Saying it's a "plus" isn't saying "the only reason I had kids was to take care of me when I'm old". You people really cannot read a statement and figure out what it actually means, can you?0 -
People do their best parenting before they themsleves become parents........
ahahahahahahahah EXACTLY!!0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
I wouldn't equate "I don't want to deal with tantrums" with "condemning the human race"
If you generalize the statement to the whole population. If everyone did not want kids because of bad behavior in stores, it would only take one child having a fit in a shopping center on a busy day to prevent at least a 1000 individuals from wanting kids.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
I would absolutely hope it does, because you HAVE children. Which is fine.
But not everyone loves children or thinks they are little beautiful miracles. Sometimes - most of the time, actually - they are downright obnoxious. While I do think OP's post was absolutely harsh and pretty much advocates child abuse, I don't think there is any issue with being annoyed by a loud, obnoxious child in a store or restaurant.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
I wouldn't equate "I don't want to deal with tantrums" with "condemning the human race"
If you generalize the statement to the whole population. If everyone did not want kids because of bad behavior in stores, it would only take one child having a fit in a shopping center on a busy day to prevent at least a 1000 individuals from wanting kids.
Would that be such a bad thing? It's not like the population is in any sort of danger of dwindling, here.0 -
If you generalize the statement to the whole population. If everyone did not want kids because of bad behavior in stores, it would only take one child having a fit in a shopping center on a busy day to prevent at least a 1000 individuals from wanting kids.
I didn't generalize the statement to the whole population because I realize that individuals can have their own non-hive-mind opinions
You must be a fun person to have a conversation with0 -
When my child (now a teenager) was small and she had a tantrum, if I could leave the store/restaurant, I did. I would pick her up, carry her out, take her home or wait for the tantrum to subside outside. If I could not, I would sit down in the quietest corner of the store, mall, etc, put my arms around her and wait for the tantrum to subside. When she was done, I'd give her a hug and we'd go on our way.
She threw two tantrums in restaurants when she was little and after I removed her both times, she never did that again.
At that age (up until roughly four) their systems are actually not fully-developed enough to stop their tantrums (once they get really going) until they actually wind down. They simply cannot do it and hitting them doesn't do anything except show that a bigger person is entitled to hit a smaller person.
From the time she could understand at all, we would tell her that if she asked for something while we were out, and especially if she begged or threw a temper tantrum, she wouldn't get it. She actually learned this lesson so well that when people (grandparents) were out with her and asked what she wanted, she'd actually look at us to see if it was okay to tell them something she'd like.
I never hit my child and I disagree that spanking is effective. It might be effective in the moment but in the long run, I believe it does more harm than good. I know others feel differently and that's their right, but I'm proof that you don't have to.
Neither my sister or I were spanked and I've never spanked my daughter and while she's starting to exhibit some "teenage attitude", when her grandmother freaked out on her for it, she said to me later, "I wish she'd just done what you do." Which is to turn around and say, "excuse me? have I done something to deserve being spoken to like that?" I don't do it all the time because teenagers are just grumpy, period, but when I feel she's being disrespectful and when she hurts my feelings, I let her know, calmly and rationally, and she apologizes, adjusts her behaviour and we move on.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
Ha ha ha ha!! :laugh: :laugh: Now that there's funny. And wait, let me guess: You can go on vacation but they'll be different vacations! I can't tell you how many times I have gotten that comment . . . . smh
Yeah, sorry. I'll take my freedom, my money and my totally awesome vacations over a child's smile any day!0 -
I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.
rant over.
I feel sorry for any victim of child abuse. Some adults should not be allowed near children.
I hope you have managed to deal with such abhorrent memories0
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