Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??
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I think the OP wasn't shocked by the child's tantrum, rather by the response of the father. One should never plead with a child, pleading gives them the power in the relationship. Yes, every child has a tantrums, that doesn't make any response to the tantrum ok.0
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You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
Best. Response. Ever! ^^
As a Mother I feel bad for the Father you're speaking about. You have no clue what children put us parents through. They have little minds of their own and do not look at the world through the same eyes as adults do. No matter how "perfect" a parent is, a child will be a child.
FYI if any of us took a leather belt to our children and caused bleeding welts as you speak of your parents doing to you, we would have our kids taken away. It's a different world nowadays and perhaps you should reconsider your judgments.0 -
I'm trying to teach our son to control his own behavior, not control his behavior cause he's afraid.
So, you go to the grocery when your kid isn't in need of a nap or hungry.
You give them something to do (our son would "read" the shopping list.)
Make it quick...cause noise, people, everything else can overwhelm a young child.
Before you go in the store, you have a talk: I'm so proud to be with you. I know that when we go to the store you're going to be my nelper. When we get home, we're going to sit down together and have lunch/read a book/watch a cartoon together.
Repeat.
This doesn't require a Ph.d. in child psychology to do. But, if my option is: Oh, he's misbehaving, I'll spank 'em. I'm not thinking of other options.
I'm not thinking: How can I teach my child how to behave in a store in such a way that he is doing so cause he understands what he needs to do and feels happy to do so.
Yes, you can spank a kid into behaving, but you can also teach a kid to want to behave.0 -
I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.
rant over.
Toddlers throw tantrums. Staying in the store and sticking it out even though the child is demanding you leave the store is part of discipline. Disciplining a child isn't always pleasant to those around. If my kid starts fussing while we're in the grocery store, I don't leave my groceries behind and try shopping another day. She has to tough it out. Eventually she'll learn that we're not leaving until mommy is done shopping, not when she's done shopping.
If I spank my kid in public, social services will get called, if I wait until we get home, then she isn't old enough yet to remember what the spanking is for, thus spanking is pretty pointless for that situation.
What you saw was discipline.
The time to spank that child (if it was appropriate considering unknown factors) is BEFORE they act up in public. Nail them for what they do in private and then they'll take you seriously when you're in public w/o you ever laying a hand on them.0 -
Eat your words. You are not a parent and do not understand how to deal with a 4 year old throwing a fit. When you are a parent, then come talk about what "should" be done. EVERY single parent can relate to that poor dad.... people like you judge.
I'm sure it will come back and bite you!
I do have a child and I CAN'T relate because I wouldn't be negotiating with a child and I wouldn't subject others to such behavior. And no I don't feel bad for him. He's the parent, he's supposed to make the rules - NOT the child
This is WHY we have so many LAZY, IRRESPONSIBLE, SPOILED ROTTEN Children out there.
I've told my daughter that our house is NOT a democracy. What Mom says goes and that's the end of it.
I'm the parent and it's my job to raise a respectable woman and there is NO arguing with mom
^ That. It's not easy raising a child. My 10mo started "testing" me around 7 months; beyond the natural push-pull of the mother/daughter interaction, she's testing the boundaries, the limits. What is acceptable and what isn't. What mommy will tolerate and what she won't. It takes constant vigilance, endless patience and a lot of effort. It's tough, and sometimes it sucks. But if you don't set the boundaries early on, it gets harder to implement them. I have a friend who has a 3yr old who is now experiencing the difficulty in putting her foot down after not doing so for nearly 3 years.0 -
I have a B.Sc. from a Teir 1 school (so not some backwoods community college)...
& that still doesn't make you a very nice person..
I have a double masters.............but I am still dumb as a box of rocks. Book knowledge and knowing formulas mean JAck in social situations. And unless the situation is within your field of studies, I do not see how your education gives you an edge. Unless you think those without an education are uncooth, uncivilized or unable to come t intelligent solutions. I know quite a few people without hiogher education, and some of them became millionaires from their own businesses in just a few years.
I forgot my point................
The one thing a solid education brings you that is applicable in all of life is the ability to reason more gooder!
If you are educated to think logically and reason things out, then you will do better in most facets of life. Like anything else, it comes naturally to some more than others, but just about everyone can benefit from education and practice.
And no, you don't need to go to an elite school to learn that skill set.
And no, it's not an essential skill set either. But it does give those who are lucky enough to learn certain advantages.
I do not disagree with your statement. Did I say gooder somewhere? My typing skills are really bad. I also do not believe in backspacing. I guess this is a debate on book smart vs street smart. Both have pros and cons, and overlapping qualities. Oh lets not forget TV smart. I love those guys.0 -
Geez people! It was a typo! As if you all are so damned perfect and never make a mistake in your life! Should I pray to and worship you now?
The issue is your original statement. It was condescending, elitist and dismissive. You can hardly complain, following that sort of thing, if people toss rocks at you on your "Teir 1" pedestal.
Also, I hope I'm not alone in my curiosity about what school she went to and what she majored in, if neither spelling nor rational debate seem to be in her wheelhouse?
OK, guys. Sincere apology and explanation done. I think she's adequately berated.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
this.
and i do think a firm spanking can be effective, but spanking a child until the bleed is abusive.0 -
I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.
rant over.
1) Don't judge.
2) Don't make your kids bleed.
3) I do agree with you on one point though. I'm also VERY glad you don't have children.0 -
Geez people! It was a typo! As if you all are so damned perfect and never make a mistake in your life! Should I pray to and worship you now?
The issue is your original statement. It was condescending, elitist and dismissive. You can hardly complain, following that sort of thing, if people toss rocks at you on your "Teir 1" pedestal.
Also, I hope I'm not alone in my curiosity about what school she went to and what she majored in, if neither spelling nor rational debate seem to be in her wheelhouse?
Well then I guess you will continue in that curiosity, as I am no longer inclined to participate in your tit for tat. I merely, was starting my comment off as I had seen a previous poster do as well... only I qualified it a bit more narrowly. But instead of disagreeing or picking at my argument, you (and others) choose to pick at a typo and my personal qualifier... which makes you look just as condescending and judgemental (not to mention petty) as you say I look.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
+1
+2 And from the fact if he had spanked his son in the parking lot and someone with a camera phone had filmed it...he would be in jail and labled worst dad ever by the media.
+ Whatever number we're on. Then CPS would have been called and his life would have been turned inside out. The problem isn't a lack of discipline in many instances. It's a fear of what hell others can unleash on you.0 -
I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.
rant over.
My mom had a great trick for my brother and I. If either of us threw a fit in a store, she walked out and left everything there. It worked. I HATE it when parents Plead with their kid, it bothers me a lot!0 -
I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.
rant over.
funny how you can JUDGE someone that DOES have kids, if you dont have your own. Walk a day in a parent's shoes, and then write back. You have NO IDEA what its like to be a parent so dont judge. Kids will be kids and will cry and scream and throw tantrums...oh freakin well, they are KIDS! If that dad would have hit him in the store in front of everyone-then your post would of been " how could he do this in front of people". You cant BEAT your kids. And that memory you worte about-THAT IS CHILD ABUSE-try it, and see how fast your kids get taken away by the state.0 -
The tantrums are inevitible, but I tried not to inflict it on others. We used to take the kid outside and if they couldn't compose themselves in a reasonable time, we'd go home. I left several birthday parties, restaurants and stores with a full cart left behind. It didn't take too many of those for the kids to get the point. Misbehave and the fun comes to a screeching halt.0
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Judge me all you want. When your kids are adults, we can compare notes. I have seen the results of raising my child. You haven't seen your results yet.
Wow, where to begin?
First, life is a journey, not a destination. The quality of life for a child, that thing called a childhood, is just as important as how well they turn out as an adult.
Second, there are many factors which lead to the culmination of a person. Experience, genetics, opportunity, love, to name a few. How a child turns out is not the result of one sole factor - in your implied claim, spanking. It's a mix of many things. Perhaps your child turned out great despite being spanked. Perhaps your child could have been so much more without spanking. You'll never know. Or maybe you aren't objective, or don't know the entirety of her existence, or what is to yet to come.
I'm surprised that you would try to turn it into a contest, if I'm honest.0 -
Kids screaming in restaurants actually kind of bugs me, most people go out to eat to enjoy a nice meal without hearing screaming children, if you can't keep them under control don't go out or get a sitter.
THIS!!!!! I do NOT want to hear YOUR screaming misbehaving child when I am out on a date with my husband. Don't you want to spend time alone with YOUR husband? Get a sitter! Have a date night. Dinner for two is cheaper than dinner for two plus kiddos. And they won't eat all their food anyway and it is wasteful. Please, PLEASE leave your kid with a sitter!
I am fine with kids in restaurants if they are well behaved. But the minute a kid stands up in THEIR booth and leans over the back of the booth and into my personal space and the parent does nothing about it... oh. It's on. I sat in a restaurant a week ago and watched two little girls bounce in their booth and lean over the back into another diner's personal space. The other diner had to get up, ask the parents to please stop their children from leaning over and bouncing around the booth. And the parent did nothing. I felt so horrible for the diner
and the parents comment? "Kids will be kids. If you don't like it, go somewhere else." (I'm an eavesdropper) Absolutely frustrating.
Theres a few restaurants who've plainly said in a notice on their entrance door something along the lines of "customers with crying babies will be asked to leave". The restaurants have a huge list of "offended" people who try to tell them off but at the same time, they have lots of business because people know that you can eat peacefully there.
Once again, I feel for the parents, I really do. However, you do NOT have a right to ruin my time just because your child decided to be disruptive...
If there is not a notice on the door stating otherwise, my children have as much of a right to be there as anyone else does. I guarantee we will spend more money there than most of the other patrons will. And I cannot tell you how many times my meals have been ruined by loud, distasteful ADULTS. Have you ever tried asking someone to put away their cell phone or to tone down their language or to maybe find a different subject matter to discuss over dinner? It's just as annoying to dine with obnoxious adults as it is disruptive children. I have more tolerance for children, who are still learning. Adults *should know better*. When I find myself in that situation, I have two choices--deal with it or move on. I would say the same for people who are bothered by my children.
Children do have a right to be there. They also have the right to act like humans instead of monkeys, stay in your booth, not be screaming and throwing food the entire time, etc. No one said children aren't welcome, but restaurants are restaurants, not playgrounds so if you bring your children to a restaurant they shouldn't be acting like it's a playground.0 -
Also, I hope I'm not alone in my curiosity about what school she went to and what she majored in, if neither spelling nor rational debate seem to be in her wheelhouse?
Well then I guess you will continue in that curiosity, as I am no longer inclined to participate in your tit for tat. I merely, was starting my comment off as I had seen a previous poster as well... only I qualified it a bit more narrowly. But instead of disagreeing or picking at my argument, you (and others) choose to pick at a typo and my personal qualifier... which makes you look just as condescending and judgemental (not to mention petty) as you say I look.
Okay, since you seemed to be touting your education, I thought you might want to elaborate a bit more, but I suppose not.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
+1
+2 And from the fact if he had spanked his son in the parking lot and someone with a camera phone had filmed it...he would be in jail and labled worst dad ever by the media.
+ Whatever number we're on. Then CPS would have been called and his life would have been turned inside out. The problem isn't a lack of discipline in many instances. It's a fear of what hell others can unleash on you.
*sigh* I think not being able to spank your kid is ridiculous. It works, really. There's obviously a point to how hard you should spank, but seriously. *shakes head*0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
+1
+2 And from the fact if he had spanked his son in the parking lot and someone with a camera phone had filmed it...he would be in jail and labled worst dad ever by the media.
+ Whatever number we're on. Then CPS would have been called and his life would have been turned inside out. The problem isn't a lack of discipline in many instances. It's a fear of what hell others can unleash on you.
EXACTLY! especially day cares/ school are on the look out for marks / bruses/ and emotional changes in childre. You have to dot your I's and cross your T's now a days even just sending your kids to school!0 -
OMG! right! I so agree!!! listening to a child have a tantrum sucks so bad.
But since we're ranting, I just have to say I can't STAND the holier than thou pieces of **** who judge everyone regardless of being ignorant of the circumstances. I know they are better at absolutely everything in the world than I am, just a mere mortal. Even thought they don't have children I KNOW they know far more about how to raise other people's children. I guess I'm just jealous that the world doesn't revolve around me like it does them.
rant over...
:noway:0
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