Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??
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Judge me all you want. When your kids are adults, we can compare notes. I have seen the results of raising my child. You haven't seen your results yet.
Wow, where to begin?
First, life is a journey, not a destination. The quality of life for a child, that thing called a childhood, is just as important as how well they turn out as an adult.
Second, there are many factors which lead to the culmination of a person. Experience, genetics, opportunity, love, to name a few. How a child turns out is not the result of one sole factor - in your implied claim, spanking. It's a mix of many things. Perhaps your child turned out great despite being spanked. Perhaps your child could have been so much more without spanking. You'll never know. Or maybe you aren't objective, or don't know the entirety of her existence, or what is to yet to come.
I'm surprised that you would try to turn it into a contest, if I'm honest.
She's 18. So much more than what?
Age has nothing to do with potential. Unless achieving 18 was the goal?And, seriously, she had a great childhood. Could it have been better? Whose couldn't have been? But the quality of her childhood has nothing to do with whether she was spanked. It didn't happen often and it was only when necessary and ONLY with my hand. No welts. No bruises. No bleeding.
Well, if there were no welts, bruises or bleeding, then it must have been okay! And certainly the best means of achieving your goals (back to my point, which you kept avoiding.) Makes perfect sense. I hear a phone book is quite useful for keeping away marks in a pinch.If your children have half the childhood she (or I!) had, they will be very lucky children.
I'm going for even better.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Ha, ha. Well, that's the bad side. There's an awesome sweet side too. Once you see that, you'll know why people want to have them. Plus, it's nice having someone do all the house cleaning, and chores. And, it's nice to know that someone will take care of you when you can no longer take care of yourself.
You had children so they could put their life on hold to take care of you in your old age? A bit selfish, isn't it?
Saying it's a "plus" isn't saying "the only reason I had kids was to take care of me when I'm old". You people really cannot read a statement and figure out what it actually means, can you?0 -
People do their best parenting before they themsleves become parents........
ahahahahahahahah EXACTLY!!0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
I wouldn't equate "I don't want to deal with tantrums" with "condemning the human race"
If you generalize the statement to the whole population. If everyone did not want kids because of bad behavior in stores, it would only take one child having a fit in a shopping center on a busy day to prevent at least a 1000 individuals from wanting kids.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
I would absolutely hope it does, because you HAVE children. Which is fine.
But not everyone loves children or thinks they are little beautiful miracles. Sometimes - most of the time, actually - they are downright obnoxious. While I do think OP's post was absolutely harsh and pretty much advocates child abuse, I don't think there is any issue with being annoyed by a loud, obnoxious child in a store or restaurant.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
I wouldn't equate "I don't want to deal with tantrums" with "condemning the human race"
If you generalize the statement to the whole population. If everyone did not want kids because of bad behavior in stores, it would only take one child having a fit in a shopping center on a busy day to prevent at least a 1000 individuals from wanting kids.
Would that be such a bad thing? It's not like the population is in any sort of danger of dwindling, here.0 -
If you generalize the statement to the whole population. If everyone did not want kids because of bad behavior in stores, it would only take one child having a fit in a shopping center on a busy day to prevent at least a 1000 individuals from wanting kids.
I didn't generalize the statement to the whole population because I realize that individuals can have their own non-hive-mind opinions
You must be a fun person to have a conversation with0 -
When my child (now a teenager) was small and she had a tantrum, if I could leave the store/restaurant, I did. I would pick her up, carry her out, take her home or wait for the tantrum to subside outside. If I could not, I would sit down in the quietest corner of the store, mall, etc, put my arms around her and wait for the tantrum to subside. When she was done, I'd give her a hug and we'd go on our way.
She threw two tantrums in restaurants when she was little and after I removed her both times, she never did that again.
At that age (up until roughly four) their systems are actually not fully-developed enough to stop their tantrums (once they get really going) until they actually wind down. They simply cannot do it and hitting them doesn't do anything except show that a bigger person is entitled to hit a smaller person.
From the time she could understand at all, we would tell her that if she asked for something while we were out, and especially if she begged or threw a temper tantrum, she wouldn't get it. She actually learned this lesson so well that when people (grandparents) were out with her and asked what she wanted, she'd actually look at us to see if it was okay to tell them something she'd like.
I never hit my child and I disagree that spanking is effective. It might be effective in the moment but in the long run, I believe it does more harm than good. I know others feel differently and that's their right, but I'm proof that you don't have to.
Neither my sister or I were spanked and I've never spanked my daughter and while she's starting to exhibit some "teenage attitude", when her grandmother freaked out on her for it, she said to me later, "I wish she'd just done what you do." Which is to turn around and say, "excuse me? have I done something to deserve being spoken to like that?" I don't do it all the time because teenagers are just grumpy, period, but when I feel she's being disrespectful and when she hurts my feelings, I let her know, calmly and rationally, and she apologizes, adjusts her behaviour and we move on.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
Ha ha ha ha!! :laugh: :laugh: Now that there's funny. And wait, let me guess: You can go on vacation but they'll be different vacations! I can't tell you how many times I have gotten that comment . . . . smh
Yeah, sorry. I'll take my freedom, my money and my totally awesome vacations over a child's smile any day!0 -
I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.
rant over.
I feel sorry for any victim of child abuse. Some adults should not be allowed near children.
I hope you have managed to deal with such abhorrent memories0 -
Kids screaming in restaurants actually kind of bugs me, most people go out to eat to enjoy a nice meal without hearing screaming children, if you can't keep them under control don't go out or get a sitter.
THIS!!!!! I do NOT want to hear YOUR screaming misbehaving child when I am out on a date with my husband. Don't you want to spend time alone with YOUR husband? Get a sitter! Have a date night. Dinner for two is cheaper than dinner for two plus kiddos. And they won't eat all their food anyway and it is wasteful. Please, PLEASE leave your kid with a sitter!
I am fine with kids in restaurants if they are well behaved. But the minute a kid stands up in THEIR booth and leans over the back of the booth and into my personal space and the parent does nothing about it... oh. It's on. I sat in a restaurant a week ago and watched two little girls bounce in their booth and lean over the back into another diner's personal space. The other diner had to get up, ask the parents to please stop their children from leaning over and bouncing around the booth. And the parent did nothing. I felt so horrible for the diner
and the parents comment? "Kids will be kids. If you don't like it, go somewhere else." (I'm an eavesdropper) Absolutely frustrating.
Theres a few restaurants who've plainly said in a notice on their entrance door something along the lines of "customers with crying babies will be asked to leave". The restaurants have a huge list of "offended" people who try to tell them off but at the same time, they have lots of business because people know that you can eat peacefully there.
Once again, I feel for the parents, I really do. However, you do NOT have a right to ruin my time just because your child decided to be disruptive...
If there is not a notice on the door stating otherwise, my children have as much of a right to be there as anyone else does. I guarantee we will spend more money there than most of the other patrons will. And I cannot tell you how many times my meals have been ruined by loud, distasteful ADULTS. Have you ever tried asking someone to put away their cell phone or to tone down their language or to maybe find a different subject matter to discuss over dinner? It's just as annoying to dine with obnoxious adults as it is disruptive children. I have more tolerance for children, who are still learning. Adults *should know better*. When I find myself in that situation, I have two choices--deal with it or move on. I would say the same for people who are bothered by my children.
Children do have a right to be there. They also have the right to act like humans instead of monkeys, stay in your booth, not be screaming and throwing food the entire time, etc. No one said children aren't welcome, but restaurants are restaurants, not playgrounds so if you bring your children to a restaurant they shouldn't be acting like it's a playground.
I completely agree.
I have never once told someone to quiet their child but I have given them the look. And as for the conversations are you only offended by them because you have small children around who might hear what they're saying? If that's the case then here's an idea: Don't take your small children to that restaurant any more! Find a place that's more child friendly like Friendly's or Chuck-E-Cheese. I'm sorry but I have never had a meal ruined by someone having a loud and "distasteful" conversation. Loud? Sure but when I go out with a group of people we tend to get loud as well and believe me I have had many conversations that I am positive some people would deem to be "distasteful" but never once has anyone come up to me and asked me to be quiet. And why is it your business to comment on the subject matter any way and who are you to ask someone to talk about a different subject matter?
There's a huge difference between a child who is screaming, throwing food and banging their feet on the back of the booth or jumping around in the booth and leaning over my shoulder (yes, this has happened before!) and the parent just sits there and smiles and laughs. How is that respectful of ME and the time that I'm spending there? Why is it ok for your child to scream, throw food and stare at me over the seat of the booth and ruin my dinner and my time but it's not ok for people to talk loudly or *gasp* have "distasteful" conversations?
In my restaurant, on occasion I have had to ask children to stop running around the table and sit in their seat. I was a bit appalled that it was me that had to say something, but children out of their seat running between tables is sooooo incredibly unsafe. It would be that same parent who refuses to control their child that would have my head if a server tripped over their kid and something hot landed on them.0 -
When I see kids act up in stores, it's just a firm reminder of why I don't ever want to have them.
Thats kind of harsh. Condemming the human race for something so trivial. I would assume you would not want kids because of the pooping, puking, sleepless nights, money they cost, and being the killer of all personal freedom. But The smile they give me somehow makes it worth it.
I would absolutely hope it does, because you HAVE children. Which is fine.
But not everyone loves children or thinks they are little beautiful miracles. Sometimes - most of the time, actually - they are downright obnoxious. While I do think OP's post was absolutely harsh and pretty much advocates child abuse, I don't think there is any issue with being annoyed by a loud, obnoxious child in a store or restaurant.
I agree, I just like to speculate on specific points.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
I would be surprised if you have kids as well. Its funny, the people without kids are the ones with the most advice. And while I do believe in disciplining and I would not stand for that kind of behavior at all, every person is different. You don't know their family situation, and its possible that the child has a developmental delay or disorder. Or the dad doesn't go to the store with him often and isn't sure how to handle the situation. Either way, just go about your business. Its annoying, but it isn't hurting you in any way.0 -
Only read the first few responses about how you must not have kids. Well, when I didn't have kids yet, that kind of behavior appaled me. And you know what ? It still does!! Unless the children have underlying issues (which some can, you never know), It is pitiful how kids rule over their parents today. I see it ALL the time. It is much easier for the parent to put up with it than to put their stuff up and leave that store. It depends on the age. I have a two year old, and you cannot reason very well with them. By age four, however, it is a totally different story. I have a two year old, a four year old, and a seven year old. They have all acted like that at some point. That doesn't mean there are not consequences. They get a stern warning. Then I tell them if they continue said behavior, what the consequences will be. Guess what? If they keep on, they get the exact consequence I said they would. No begging or pleading or "If you do that one more time", ugh I hate that one. Anyway, sorry for the novel. I have never spanked my children the way you were spanked, but we are very strict with them. Great attitudes and actions are acknowledged, unacceptable ones are disciplined. Is it easy? NO! Extremely hard and tiring. But I know as they get older, it will pay off.:)
^^^^ THIS!!!!!
Unless the child has underlying problems yes.... But there is no reason why a child should be allowed to act this way in public. People who allow their children to be unruly for long periods of time like this and do not discipline their children need to rethink what they are doing, what kind of adult are they raising in this child?? And I am NOT talking about spanking the crap out of them either... discipline is more than just spanking.
If you do not teach a child discipline from a young age, meaning how to behave appropriately and follow rules set by the parent, how then can we expect this child to grow up and follow rules in school or laws and regulations in society??0 -
You have no clue what is going on in their lives.
That is absolutely true. However, the parents who allow their kids to throw tantrums and not remove themselves and their kid out of the restaurant or the store or whatever also don't know what the other people around them have going on in their lives.
I hate this culture of "I'm entitled to make MY problems YOUR problems because I think I have a rough life". Please, don't make your problems my problem and remove your kid and take him outside. Then you can do whatever you want to him. Spank him, talk to him, leave him there, give him to Kony etc. Your kid, your decision0 -
In my restaurant, on occasion I have had to ask children to stop running around the table and sit in their seat. I was a bit appalled that it was me that had to say something, but children out of their seat running between tables is sooooo incredibly unsafe. It would be that same parent who refuses to control their child that would have my head if a server tripped over their kid and something hot landed on them.
I was out with a friend at a restauraunt with her misbehaving kid that was running around playing while we ate. I said nothing, wasnt my kid, but wasnt pleased. She was ok with it till her kid and the server carrying a load of drinks and food collided going through the flappy door. Bad scene... I wanted to crawl under the table. bad enough she made me try escargot
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Is this frowned upon? Oops...You had children so they could put their life on hold to take care of you in your old age? A bit selfish, isn't it?0 -
It isn't illegal to spank your kids you morons. It's illegal to beat your kids. You can get spankings that are effective and don't leave a mark. It may turn red for 10 minutes or something but a spanking doesn't require bruising. I would tell all the nosey sh1t heads around me to go ahead and call CPS. That's what my mom told me when I was a kid and she would spank me, she would hand me the phone when I threatened to call.0
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In my restaurant, on occasion I have had to ask children to stop running around the table and sit in their seat. I was a bit appalled that it was me that had to say something, but children out of their seat running between tables is sooooo incredibly unsafe. It would be that same parent who refuses to control their child that would have my head if a server tripped over their kid and something hot landed on them.
I was out with a friend at a restauraunt with her misbehaving kid that was running around playing while we ate. I said nothing, wasnt my kid, but wasnt pleased. She was ok with it till her kid and the server carrying a load of drinks and food collided going through the flappy door. Bad scene... I wanted to crawl under the table. bad enough she made me try escargot
I love escargot.0 -
I love escargot.
There you go, being outrageous again.0 -
I love escargot.
There you go, being outrageous again.
Not at all. escargot is awesome. Especially with french bread dipped in garlic sauce.0 -
Children are like farts ..... you can only handle your own. Don't judge. You don't know what it's like to try to handle a child in the middle of tantrum.0
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You have no clue what is going on in their lives.
That is absolutely true. However, the parents who allow their kids to throw tantrums and not remove themselves and their kid out of the restaurant or the store or whatever also don't know what the other people around them have going on in their lives.
I hate this culture of "I'm entitled to make MY problems YOUR problems because I think I have a rough life". Please, don't make your problems my problem and remove your kid and take him outside. Then you can do whatever you want to him. Spank him, talk to him, leave him there, give him to Kony etc. Your kid, your decision
So true! I have a friend with a child that has Aspbergers. She would have someone watch him for her to go to the store or for "date nights," but never took him into situation that would be disruptive. He is better now that he's older, but when he was little, she simply kept him at home or to grandma's. She never whined or complained about it, just took it as a fact of life and refused to allow her child to disrupt other people's lives.0 -
LMAO. Thank you for the chuckle Taunto.You have no clue what is going on in their lives.
That is absolutely true. However, the parents who allow their kids to throw tantrums and not remove themselves and their kid out of the restaurant or the store or whatever also don't know what the other people around them have going on in their lives.
I hate this culture of "I'm entitled to make MY problems YOUR problems because I think I have a rough life". Please, don't make your problems my problem and remove your kid and take him outside. Then you can do whatever you want to him. Spank him, talk to him, leave him there, give him to Kony etc. Your kid, your decision
I agree with your opinion; kids will be kids, but out of respect for other people, please remove them from a social setting if they're being very disruptive.
I remember giving a kid a death glare on a train, with his mother present. He was bouncing all over the place while it was moving and nothing she said or did could get him to sit still. He caught my knee with his foot, I looked at him and he sat down as good as gold - mother mouthed a "thank you" at me for that.0 -
It isn't illegal to spank your kids you morons. It's illegal to beat your kids. You can get spankings that are effective and don't leave a mark. It may turn red for 10 minutes or something but a spanking doesn't require bruising. I would tell all the nosey sh1t heads around me to go ahead and call CPS. That's what my mom told me when I was a kid and she would spank me, she would hand me the phone when I threatened to call.
:drinker:0 -
You have no clue what is going on in their lives.
That is absolutely true. However, the parents who allow their kids to throw tantrums and not remove themselves and their kid out of the restaurant or the store or whatever also don't know what the other people around them have going on in their lives.
I hate this culture of "I'm entitled to make MY problems YOUR problems because I think I have a rough life". Please, don't make your problems my problem and remove your kid and take him outside. Then you can do whatever you want to him. Spank him, talk to him, leave him there, give him to Kony etc. Your kid, your decision
This x 100 .....on several occasions, my wife and I have had to take the kids out to the car while the other continues to shop.0 -
People do their best parenting before they themselves become parents........
I completely agree with this.
Before I had my children I was appalled too. I could not understand why or how kids would act up in public with what seemed to be very little intervention from parents.
I am now a parent of three very different individuals. What works for one does not always work for another. I may stay in the store for a bit while one throws a fit because I know that she will stop in about 5-10 minutes and I have to get toilet paper because we are out. Perhaps I am on my way up to the front of the store right now, with a screaming child, to pay and get the he!! out of there. Then I remember that I have to grab a snack for my other child because it is snack day for them.
Perhaps my son, who has a sensory processing disorder, is acting out but my oldest has to have a pair of shoes because hers just blew out and what is she going to wear to school. Besides what looks like misbehavior in my son can often be him trying to regulate himself and I have to let him try for a short time. He can also lose it in the blink of an eye and I get no warning, much like children on the autism spectrum. then we quickly make our way to the front of the store to get out of there.
What you don't see is what the parent is saying and feeling in their own head. "oh man that lady just shot me a look. I know my son is screaming but he was fine just a minute ago. I am sorry but we HAVE to have toilet paper/milk/bread/whatever." "crap this sucks because now everyone here is judging me and thinks my kid/s are awful. they are tired/overstimulated/whatever and I pushed them too long. my fault...not theirs." "aw look...she/he must be a parent too. I appreciate that glance that says she/he has been there."
don't judge until you have been there. there are as many different discipline/parenting styles as there are parents and until you have the individual children you do not know, trust me you really don't know, what you are going to do or how you or they will handle things.
try to be a little more understanding. in everything...we are all dealing with our own struggles and last I checked no one wears a sign to let you know.0 -
As a dad. yeah. I love having my child break down in public, and all I can think is. Dear god let me get though this store/ restaurant etc. About the only free time I'm able to have is if I bring a kid or two with me.
You can't leave your kid at home alone, can't leave them in the car, and you can't beat beat the crying out of them,
They are kids, they are the future. so sorry society, you can suck it. Love, parents everywhere.0 -
Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
Obviously the kid didn't get what he wanted or he wouldn't have been having the tantrum. So I don't see how the kid is 'spoiled'.
I have a toddler, and every parenting strategy is different and I try not to judge. The dad described above didn't do anything wrong. There may have been more effective methods, but sometimes when a kid is going nuts it's hard to focus on anything besides trying to get him to stop.
If you can't stand toddlers misbehaving, maybe try shopping online so you don't have to witness it.0 -
dont know what's been said on here....but tantrums at the store or anywhere is a BIG NO NO. as a parent i need to give my kids discipline.0
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