Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??

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  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
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    Other people's children suck.

    There are two kinds of people watching a tantrum. The kind that think, Oh that poor child. The rest are thinking, Oh the poor parents.
  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
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    This is exactly what is wrong with the world today. Parents are afraid of their kids and therefore the kids run the household. I mean look at the first few idiots in this thread saying that it's normal behavior for a 4 year old and basically that the dad shouldn't have whipped the little sh1t head. I know I didn't act like that with my dad when I was 4 or we would have went to the bathroom and me got my *kitten* busted. My dad only ever had to whip me about 3 times and I knew how act like a human being afterwards instead of an untrained monkey.
  • lknorthstar
    lknorthstar Posts: 132 Member
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    Children will be children. I threw my fair share of tantrums. My parents were never sappy enough to plead with me to stop, but they certainly never hit me so hard with a belt that I bled. I hope that method doesn't get passed down the family.

    I did get my fair share of spankings, never that bad. At least the dad stuck to his guns and didn't give in and gave him what he wanted to shut him up! I think so many kids are just never taught to be respectful. I see some mouth off to their parents and nobody seems to think it is a big deal.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I didn't read all the offended parent responses, but kid tantrums in stores remind my why I don't have (and don't want) kids.... Hearing that literally makes my ovaries recoil :laugh:
  • VitaBailey
    VitaBailey Posts: 271 Member
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    I have a young nephew. I've been there during some of his public meltdowns, and it's no fun.When I see this in public with other kids, I just want to see that the parents are dealing with it. Either by interacting with the kid over the behavior (any method other than hitting), or making some effort to get out of the store. When the parents ignore it and continue on like everything is fine, while the rest of us poor souls suffer, I don't like that.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Is it not possible that if you physically punish your child for bad behavior, they may not know later on when they are being spousally abused that itmis not ok. Or will they rationalise it as "I did something bad, I deserve this?"

    (Yes, my spelling sucks) Please don't spank me!

    Yeah ... That's why I don't mind when the BF beats me and my daughter has been in and out of one abusive relationship after another.

    Yep. You nailed it.

    BAER
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Not a parent here, so I don't know how I would react, but the loud high pitch screaming in a store gets to me. I think I would probably take the kid in the car to scream it out.

    I don't think I have the patience for children in all honesty. And to the moms and dads who I used to think were big, mean people (when I was little) just bent on destroying my fun, the older I get (ya, I'm ancient, haha) the more I see WHY you do the things you do. You have my sympathy.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    I like looking at the forum topics and trying to decide which "rant" will completely backfire on the op.


    this one was easy.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    There are far more inventive ways of correcting behaviour. You have to be pretty unoriginal to need to resort to spanking.

    You have to be pretty unoriginal to not be able to accept and admit that your way is not the only and absolute right way.

    When it comes to beating children, I'll stick with my unoriginal thinking that it's the last (only?) resort of the ... well you get the idea.
    I think it's funny when people don't know the difference between a spanking and a beating. I can only surmise that you were beaten and your parents called it spanking.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    My mother never let me throw tantrums in the first place. The second i started, we were out the door. Then I knew from then on that if I wanted to stay somewhere, I would have to behave.

    Not to toot my mom's horn, but I was an insanely well behaved child, as well as my sister. She was great in the parenting department :) Now when I see kids today, I just think there is such a lack of disrespect shown towards parents, and they get away with it and more! My absolute worst is letting children cry in restaurants, or when you hear some parents telling their child to shut up. A big no-no in my book!

    Kids get away with more because parents can't hit their child in public or otherwise. If they swat their kid in public some nosey old person will be up their *kitten* and in their business chastising them for hitting. If they swat their child at home they're smart enough to go run to school and tell the teacher that their parent is beating them and then open a whole other can of worms that the parent doesn't want and YES that DOES happen! Not only that but if a teacher yells at a child they will say "You can't do anything to me! I'll call the police and tell them you hit me!" YES, that DOES happen! My mother worked as a school secretary for years and she was shocked at how much these kids knew about the system and how they would use it to their own advantage.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Also - I must add, as a single mother of a 3 year old with no family nearby, I don't usually have much of a choice but to take my child shopping with me. She usually picks that time to throw fits or misbehave. Usually because it's outside of our house or there is an audience or because she thinks its fun. If I left the store, as most of you have suggested, every time she started to act up, I'd never get anything done and we would starve to death.

    They're clever little monkeys they are...they know the times and places where their misbehavior has the most leverage. If they have a fit at home, you can just walk away. In public, they are in control.
    I've removed my kids from stores and restaurants for short periods of time for behavior, but I always brought them back in so they did not accomplish their goal of controlling the situation.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    Let me say first off I DON'T believe in hitting children. In my opinion spanking does not work and is totally unnecessary.

    When my kids acted the fool in a store or other public place, I would walk away. Never out of my line of sight, but they didn't know that. For example, if we were in the grocery store and a tantrum started, I would start walking up or down the aisle. That usually did the trick! they'd stop hollering and scurry after me. The few times that did not work, I picked them up and we left the store.

    When kids are throwing tantrums, it's best not to give them attention for it. If I was the dad in your example, there is no way I would have tolerated him screaming for 45 minutes. I would have left the store and taken him home.

    For the most part to avoid tantrums with little ones, you need to be preemptive. Make sure they are well-rested, well-fed, and hydrated before you take them out. If you take hungry, tired, thirsty kids out shopping you are guaranteed a cranky time. Also bring a bag of things to occupy them: books, small toys, small snacks, paper, crayons, etc.

    ^^Perfectly said. The wrong time to take most kids shopping is at night time, but the dad probably didn't know that.

    OP, I actually feel bad for you. In today's day and age, your parents that beat you until you bled would be hauled off by CPS and you would end up in foster care. Just sayin'.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    Other people's children suck.

    There are two kinds of people watching a tantrum. The kind that think, Oh that poor child. The rest are thinking, Oh the poor parents.
    :laugh: and then there are those that think "oh crap...did I remember to take my birth control this morning??"
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    My mother never let me throw tantrums in the first place. The second i started, we were out the door. Then I knew from then on that if I wanted to stay somewhere, I would have to behave.

    Not to toot my mom's horn, but I was an insanely well behaved child, as well as my sister. She was great in the parenting department :) Now when I see kids today, I just think there is such a lack of disrespect shown towards parents, and they get away with it and more! My absolute worst is letting children cry in restaurants, or when you hear some parents telling their child to shut up. A big no-no in my book!

    Kids get away with more because parents can't hit their child in public or otherwise. If they swat their kid in public some nosey old person will be up their *kitten* and in their business chastising them for hitting. If they swat their child at home they're smart enough to go run to school and tell the teacher that their parent is beating them and then open a whole other can of worms that the parent doesn't want and YES that DOES happen! Not only that but if a teacher yells at a child they will say "You can't do anything to me! I'll call the police and tell them you hit me!" YES, that DOES happen! My mother worked as a school secretary for years and she was shocked at how much these kids knew about the system and how they would use it to their own advantage.

    RRMath would just ask for their educational background.
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    Is it not possible that if you physically punish your child for bad behavior, they may not know later on when they are being spousally abused that itmis not ok. Or will they rationalise it as "I did something bad, I deserve this?"

    (Yes, my spelling sucks) Please don't spank me!

    Yeah ... That's why I don't mind when the BF beats me and my daughter has been in and out of one abusive relationship after another.

    Yep. You nailed it.

    BAER

    I said "possibly". It was just a thought. In passing. But in fact, is a proven cycle on both sides of real tramatic abuse. What is "BAER" by the way?
  • Junken_Diraffe
    Junken_Diraffe Posts: 716 Member
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    Please do not EVER change your mind about not having children. You have chosen wisely.

    Just out of curiousity, why can't the parents just take them out of the general area (stores aren't a big deal, I'm talkign mainly about restaurants) and take care of things outside while the others get to keep enjoying their meal etc.?

    Spank or talk or whatever you like, that is fine. That is up to you as a parent. But at least take them out so the rest of us don't have to have our meals ruined...

    For me, I could not safely get my kid out of the store, so I had to calm him down in the store. It was cold, so we were both wearing slippery winter coats. Also, he weighs just over 50 lbs, so carrying him while he's flailing about throwing a fit is near impossible. Throw in winter coats and it was downright dangerous. I tried. I walked a few steps carrying him, but he slipped, so I knew I couldn't take him out.
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
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    Just saying I wouldn't hit a 20 stone built guy with a belt or even an open hand, why the hell would some coward beat a 4 year old, don't give a flying %"£& if the kid's yours, if you think violence is a reasonable response to conflict with someone who is defenceless then there's seriously something wrong with the world.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.

    Spanking is acceptable. It is not the same as beating your kid, it should not be done out of sheer anger, but utilized in a way to get your childs attention. BA in music with 3 declared minors.

    Just finished a BA in business. Spanked my kids. It doesn't always work. It needs to be appropriate for the situation. If its not working then it should be discontinued. My kids are much older now so I don't do it as much, but they are also old enough to recognize boundaries now as well.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    When our kids used to throw a fit in the store, my husband would take them out to the car. They only did it once or twice. Letting kids know that they can't get away with it stops that crap. My kids figured out really quick that throwing a fit was a way to get punished, not a way to get what you want. Discipline is teaching.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    I saw this Dad carrying his screaming 3 year old boy through though the grocery store by the back of his coat. I felt bad for him, he looked embarrassed and at a loss for what to do.

    What worked for me was telling her we were leaving if she doesn't stop - then actually leaving if she doesn't stop. It sucks when you have a cart full of groceries, but she learned quick that Mommy meant business.

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