Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??

pwittek10

This brought back old memories!
My son did this when he was 4.
His father picked him up and took him to the car, spanked him and
returned.
That was the only time he ever played the "fit" card!
He is now 42.

dawnreid2012

I am a mom to 4 and I can honestly say my kids never throw tantrums in a store. (at home and in the car is way different) but they know if they do they will get grounded or something taken away from them (wii, tv, etc.) Now my sister's kids on the other hand are all adhd and she has a time in stores but she says she tunes them out until she gets to the car because she would rather do that than have children services come after her for disciplining her kids in front of everyone. Also, I grew up in a household where I was forced to sit on my knees on a pile of rice upon hours (my step dad would do it while my mom was at work she never knew) if we didnt do everything perfectly. He would spank us for nothing. Growing up with that childhood has made me want to discipline my children differently. And I can promise that I will never spank mine until they bleed. Being abusive to a child stcks with them their whole life. Kids will cry, throw fits, and act out, but it is all in how they are raised.

AngryDiet

There are far more inventive ways of correcting behaviour. You have to be pretty unoriginal to need to resort to spanking.

You have to be pretty unoriginal to not be able to accept and admit that your way is not the only and absolute right way.

When it comes to beating children, I'll stick with my unoriginal thinking that it's the last (only?) resort of the ... well you get the idea.

I think it's funny when people don't know the difference between a spanking and a beating. I can only surmise that you were beaten and your parents called it spanking.

You would be wrong.

But if you can't undermine the argument, certainly, try to undermine the person making it instead.

Spanking is a mild form of violence. It's that simple. You are lying to yourself if you believe otherwise.

If you do it, you are sending your child a message that violence is acceptable under some circumstances. But more importantly, you are trying to use what is a pretty inefficient means of correcting behaviour when there are many more effective ways of doing so.

But whatever. Spank your child, and hope for the best.

k8blujay2

Only read the first post... but as a parent myself this ticks me off... Kids typically pitch fits, not because they want something they can't have, but because they are tired, hungry, bored, all of the above, or some combination of the above.... I don't know if parent's just lack planning skills or are just too selfish and/or lazy to take their kid home to rest/eat/what have you and come back later... there is no excuse to let a kid scream in the store.

Eeyore255

I have a college degree, BS in Science (to the person looking for college educated people). I was spanked with belts, hands, and had to cut my own switch so I could be spanked with that. I was spanked for numerous reasons: being bad, talking back, and things that aren't a big deal like not memorizing the preamble to the Constitution fast enough for my dad's liking, or making more than 5 mistakes on my homework. If I cried loudly for something in the store, my mom (I was adopted) would bring me home, stand me in front of her, and make me explain why I was about to get a spanking.

I have a child on the way in 20 +/- weeks, and I plan on spanking with my hand as a last resort. I'm sure there will be a public tantrum in my future, but I will ABSOLUTELY not BEG my child to behave.

On the other hand, my brother (same birth mom) threw tantrums. His last one was in the grocery store. My birth mom got down on the floor with him and kicked and screamed with him. When he saw what it looked like, he got up and started behaving.

My nephews threw tantrums in stores and restaurants. My sister-in-law or brother-in-law would take them out to the car. I have no idea what happened in the car, but they were "back to normal" when they returned.

kennethmgreen

Not being a parent doesn't mean someone is precluded from having an intelligent, informed opinion and child-rearing. I've never bought the argument that anyone who doesn't have kids "just doesn't know" and couldn't possibly add to the discussion about parenting.

And those of us with kids surely aren't immune from being judgmental about how others parent their kids. Sometimes, as a working parent, all I can grasp is the feeling of superiority knowing I'm doing it better than "that guy over there." It's a weak ploy to comfort my insecurities and failings as a parent.

When I see someone in public doing what I consider a terrible job as a parent, sometimes (on a clear day when I've had enough rest, enough food, and enough coffee), I stop and consider that he or she is doing the best he/she can, and realize that judging someone's character and/or how they parent based on one incident is myopic and serves no purpose other than to selfishly feel superior.

Not often enough, though.

WendyTerry420

I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.

Spanking is acceptable. It is not the same as beating your kid, it should not be done out of sheer anger, but utilized in a way to get your childs attention. BA in music with 3 declared minors.

Just finished a BA in business. Spanked my kids. It doesn't always work. It needs to be appropriate for the situation. If its not working then it should be discontinued. My kids are much older now so I don't do it as much, but they are also old enough to recognize boundaries now as well.

WTH are they teaching college these days? Yes, spanking is appropriate in certain situations, especially when children are too young to understand logic and reasoning. (which is generally the stage where they start trying to throw a fit)

2bfit4rubyred

rml_16

Is it not possible that if you physically punish your child for bad behavior, they may not know later on when they are being spousally abused that itmis not ok. Or will they rationalise it as "I did something bad, I deserve this?"

(Yes, my spelling sucks) Please don't spank me!

Yeah ... That's why I don't mind when the BF beats me and my daughter has been in and out of one abusive relationship after another.

Yep. You nailed it.

BAER

I said "possibly". It was just a thought. In passing. But in fact, is a proven cycle on both sides of real tramatic abuse. What is "BAER" by the way?

"Big A Eye Roll"

If simply spanking your children led to a cycle of that kind of abuse, probably 90% of people would be in that kind of a relationship.

moosegt35

Wow, I could only make it to page 2. This thread is full of what has to be apologetic, bleeding heart liberals. No responsibility for actions and taking the kid home and putting them to bed as punishment. Yep that should get him rested up so he has plenty of energy for his next tantrum. The world we are becoming makes me sick. she didn't say to beat the kid but the little *kitten* obviously needed his *kitten* busted if he threw a 45 minute screaming fit in a store. No one wants to go places and have a bunch of brats screaming constantly. And don't give me that 4 year olds don't know better, he is smart enough to throw a tantrum to get what he wants, he is smart enough to know where the *kitten* busting came from. Good god.

perfectingpatti

_Wits_

I understand that it's frustrating when you are around parents with kids throwing tantrums...I myself have thought "ffs, leave the store". Then I've done simple things like babysit my nieces/nephews or godson...and whoa... sometimes...you are just so caught off guard...and just want to get something done and you aren't paying attention to what everyone thinks about you.

I personally would like ot believe I'd just say "Oh hell no" and leave a store if my kid did that...but reality is...that's not always the best solution for some people.

Susantuti

We call those types of kids "Wal-mart kids" because there's always a crying or screaming kid when we go to Wal-mart. I don't have kids, but I do wish parents would discipline their children when they act out. I also wish they would set up ground rules before entering a store. How hard is it to tell the child "We are going into this store for food. I need you to behave yourself and help me while shopping. If you do when we get home you can watch your favorite movie! If you don't you will have to take a time out." You can discipline without spanking a child.
My Ma put the fear of being left at the store in our heads... She told us one time "If you throw a fit, I'll leave you here and you'll have to live with some other mom who is much meaner than I am" So my brother and I walked quietly with her, one hand on the cart at all times. She never had any issues with us. Granted we got spanked at home and grounded and time outs... Kids will act out, throw fits, siblings will fight... It's part of growing up. Part of being a parent is disciplining a child when they misbehave.
If I was that dad I would have laid down the expectations of this shopping trip and if the kid still threw the fit I'd have him have a time out right there in the store. No attention given to the child because when you whisper to the child "Please stop screaming" you are giving in, you are giving him what he wants, attention.
I recommend Super Nanny's timeouts and ways of discipline... I used it once on my 12 year old sister... surprised me that it works!

Your first paragraph is a great idea, i do this everytime. Sometimes it works sometimes it does nothing. I think most of the parents had some sort of plan before their child was born. It doens't always turn out as easy as we think it will be. Sometimes maybe..... because I have 3 kids and none of them are alike as far as behavior goes. I have one that was a bit tricky another one who was a saint and then there's the third, a little diva. lol.

My1985Freckles

Kids screaming in restaurants actually kind of bugs me, most people go out to eat to enjoy a nice meal without hearing screaming children, if you can't keep them under control don't go out or get a sitter.

THIS!!!!! I do NOT want to hear YOUR screaming misbehaving child when I am out on a date with my husband. Don't you want to spend time alone with YOUR husband? Get a sitter! Have a date night. Dinner for two is cheaper than dinner for two plus kiddos. And they won't eat all their food anyway and it is wasteful. Please, PLEASE leave your kid with a sitter!

BethanyRTS

It's amazing how much judgement I passed before I had my son.....

BeingAwesome247

Well, I am a parent and I can't stand hearing a child throw a tantrum in the store and my daughter knows better.

I have never let my daughter throw a public temper tantrum because I leave. I don't like hearing other children screaming so I certainly don't subject others to my child acting that way.
I have rarely ever spanked my daughter.
Smacked her hand and firmly saying NO for touching something she is not supposed to? Yes
Will I raise my voice - not yelling - and say, "If you think you won't get in trouble just because we're in public, you are sadly mistaken. This is your 1st and last warning."

She has gotten tapped in the mouth for talking back and she knows she'll have a time out

Maybe I've done something right or just gotten lucky, but overall my kid is pretty well behaved and I don't usually have much issue with her

UsedToBeHusky

Is it not possible that if you physically punish your child for bad behavior, they may not know later on when they are being spousally abused that itmis not ok. Or will they rationalise it as "I did something bad, I deserve this?"

(Yes, my spelling sucks) Please don't spank me!

Charlie, that's not how it works. Domestic violence is not just physical abuse. It is mental and emotional abuse as well. It is a conditioning that causes the victim to think that it is okay. It's possible that people who are abused as children will grow up to be victims of spousal abuse. But spanking and physical abuse are not the same thing.

WendyTerry420

I was spanked with belts, hands, and had to cut my own switch so I could be spanked with that.

We had to go get the wooden spoon for our spankings. I only got spanked once or twice. I didn't like getting spanked, so I tried to stay on good behavior. :drinker:

AvalonsUnicorn

unfourtunatly in a LOT of places now it is against the law to spank your child. Its "child abuse" W go our *kitten* whooped when we did wrong and guess what? We aren't spoiled brats! We also aren't violent people like they claim happens to adults who were spanked as kids. So while I do feel somewhat bad for the dad it sounds like he needed to man up tell the kid to shut up or they are leavnig. I do however applaud him on one thing! I see it all the time and I want to smack the adult upside the head! I see all the time kids begging and throwing fits for a candy bar or what ever. the parents always go no no johnny so johnny has a FIT and just to make him shut up the adult buys the candy and gives it to him. thus he gets exactly what he wants every time because in the end the parent doesn't want to deal with it. This is casing kids to get away with things like murder and the parents going oh but he's a good boy and would never have done that!

UsedToBeHusky