Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??
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Children are like farts ..... you can only handle your own. Don't judge. You don't know what it's like to try to handle a child in the middle of tantrum.
You're right - I don't know, and I don't want to know. You chose to have a child and bring him or her into public - if they act up, have some common courtesy for other patrons and remove them until they are calm enough to continue.0 -
Let me say first off I DON'T believe in hitting children. In my opinion spanking does not work and is totally unnecessary.
When my kids acted the fool in a store or other public place, I would walk away. Never out of my line of sight, but they didn't know that. For example, if we were in the grocery store and a tantrum started, I would start walking up or down the aisle. That usually did the trick! they'd stop hollering and scurry after me. The few times that did not work, I picked them up and we left the store.
When kids are throwing tantrums, it's best not to give them attention for it. If I was the dad in your example, there is no way I would have tolerated him screaming for 45 minutes. I would have left the store and taken him home.
For the most part to avoid tantrums with little ones, you need to be preemptive. Make sure they are well-rested, well-fed, and hydrated before you take them out. If you take hungry, tired, thirsty kids out shopping you are guaranteed a cranky time. Also bring a bag of things to occupy them: books, small toys, small snacks, paper, crayons, etc.
You are so right about being well rested, fed, and hydrated. I can get cranky as an adult if I'm not all 3 of these when I am rushing around and my mom was actually really good about bringing fun stuff for us to do and eat, etc when we needed it. I totally forgot about her doing that until just now, but I actually will do the same right before I take my husband shopping. If I sense he's getting cranky I suggest we stop and get a small snack and something to drink and he's 1000X happier. Lol, my mom taught me something very valuable! I'll have to thank her the next time I see her!
Love both
I agree with both of these. It is amazing how far a little prevention can go. We take my daughter's buzz lightyear "rescue pack" (or throw these things in a diaper bag) with us when we are going to be out longer than a few minutes. It contains a drink, snack and a toy. I usually bring at least one snack I know she really likes and will sit quietly for and I surprise her with it before she gets too antsy.
We also do not spank, but do not judge others that do. If it is not currently against the law, then it is not my business how anyone else parents. This parenting gig is hard and most parents love thier children and are doing thier best.
I was origionally horrifed by the OP's advocation of child abuse, but some of the following commenters had actual helpful advice. I cannot believe I got sucked into 15 pages of it, but I am pretty sure I at least learned a new tactic or two in dealing with future tantrums, so it wasn't a total loss.0 -
:laugh:Yeah, sorry. I'll take my freedom, my money and my totally awesome vacations over a child's smile any day!
:drinker:0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
Kids throw tantrums! When my kids were toddlers, I could always tell who the parents were in the stores by the looks of compassion versus clueless frustration from those who have never been tortured by a screaming 2 (or even 5) year old who is smart enough to know how mortified his parent is to have him behaving like this in a store. Hopefully someday you will have children, and you will realize that no matter how great of a mother you are, your kids are going to act like spoiled brats sometimes - personally, I try to remove my kids when they misbehave, but hey - sometimes that's not possible - like when you have a cart full of groceries!
BTW - parents who hit their kids with belts go to jail nowadays. I'm all about being strict, but jeez - that's just abusive, IMO! No wonder you have so little tolerance.0 -
It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.
^^^^ This0 -
I think another big problem with kids today is that their parents are still kids. 16-18 year olds don't know jack sh1t themselves, even though they think they know everything, and are trying to raise children themselves without a clue what they are doing.0
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Seriously people. Think a little bigger here. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES. They could be dealing with having a wife/mother who is stuggling to beat cancer... the recent death of their other child... who freaking knows!!! Sometimes, people are struggling to just get out of bed and survive yet another day.0
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As a dad. yeah. I love having my child break down in public, and all I can think is. Dear god let me get though this store/ restaurant etc. About the only free time I'm able to have is if I bring a kid or two with me.
You can't leave your kid at home alone, can't leave them in the car, and you can't beat beat the crying out of them,
They are kids, they are the future. so sorry society, you can suck it. Love, parents everywhere.
Or you could stop being a Nancy and discipline your hell monkeys.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
Agreed. Obviously someone without kids. I discipline my 3 1/2 year old for bad behavior, I do not give him everything he wants, especially when he whines for it. However, he still thows tantrums in stores and I deal with it the best I can. Sounds like the dad had his hands full with his son.0 -
Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
Obviously the kid didn't get what he wanted or he wouldn't have been having the tantrum. So I don't see how the kid is 'spoiled'.
I have a toddler, and every parenting strategy is different and I try not to judge. The dad described above didn't do anything wrong. There may have been more effective methods, but sometimes when a kid is going nuts it's hard to focus on anything besides trying to get him to stop.
If you can't stand toddlers misbehaving, maybe try shopping online so you don't have to witness it.
Yes, everyone else should have to change their lives because parents aren't in control, their kids are. Great idea.0 -
It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.
Missed this before.
Post of the thread.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
+1
+2 And from the fact if he had spanked his son in the parking lot and someone with a camera phone had filmed it...he would be in jail and labled worst dad ever by the media.
+ Whatever number we're on. Then CPS would have been called and his life would have been turned inside out. The problem isn't a lack of discipline in many instances. It's a fear of what hell others can unleash on you.
Been there, done that with my kid. Did the spanking thing, got reported for child abuse. Yep. That's why you see more and more kids throwing tantrums and acting like idiotic little brats out in public, and parents doing nothing about it. The social system has our hands tied literally. I have been through hell and back as a single mom trying to raise a boy. And let me tell you, as irritating and annoying as it is for the onlookers, it is 10x more embarrassing for the parent when your child acts like that. I refuse to stop what I am doing to cater to him though, he has to learn to behave and I have to do the shopping when I'm there to do it. I don't have the time to leave and come back later. I remember one time I went to walmart with my mom, and she went one way and I went the other. My son decided to throw a tantrum because he wanted out of the cart, and my mom told me later she heard him all the way across the store. Yea, those moments - don't miss them. I wanted to just die on the spot. But I couldn't do anything other than finish my shopping. Of course I sternly told him to stop it, etc etc etc. But like the dad you saw, that's about it. I had to finish my shopping, and I had to keep control of him. But I couldn't spank him, or put him in time out, or anything. Like others said, you can't leave the store or go to a bathroom to discipline them because you never know what busybody with a camera phone is going to record and turn you in. And by the time you get home, the kid forgot all about the incident, so there's not a lot you can do. Of course I talked to him when things were calm, explained how we are supposed to behave, etc. But when push comes to shove and a kid decides they aren't happy about something, their first reaction is a meltdown. Doesn't matter where you are. They don't have the emotional maturity yet to handle their anger and frustration calmer.
Not all kids are the same either. Some kids will be hellions, some are very good little angels. Some kids respond well to "soft" discipline like time out and it works wonderfully, but others just will not respond to anything other than a good old fashioned spanking. There is no "magic formula" perfect right way to do it.
Despite what I have been through with CPS, I am still an advocate of corporal discipline when needed. No, I do not think any child should be beat for every little transgression. But when you've exhausted all other means, sometimes they just need a wake up call. I would much rather wrangle my child's bratty attitude today, than deal with a juvenile delinquent who has no respect of me in a few years.
Mine went through it for several years. He is now 11 and very well behaved in public. He's a sweetheart, has manners, and is very thoughtful and considerate of others. You'd never believe he was that screaming bratty toddler a few years ago. Of course now the preteen attitude is starting to kick in...but, I feel like I've laid my foundation with him - he knows the boundaries, he knows what is and isn't acceptable. He knows I mean what I say, and there will be consequences if he doesn't follow the rules.
Anyway, give parents a break. If you see one dealing with a screaming toddler, maybe offer to help them. Don't judge them, and don't add to their stress by "reporting" them or giving them dirty judging looks. Be glad they care enough to expect their child to behave in public. And if none of that appeals to you, you can always leave the store.0 -
It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.
^^^^ This
ROFL. Scary to be a 4 year old? Wow. Just wow. Yea, its the roughest part of your life, you have to eat, try not to sh1t and piss your pants and not act like a demon constantly. How many bills and resposibilities does a 4 year old have? You people are pathetic. And who said anything about hitting with objects? One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten* and a strong voice always worked on me.0 -
1: the child might have a disability, and not be a brat at all. He might not have another way of expressing frustration.
2: OMG have you SEEN the crazies lately! When mine were little, I had CPS called because I picked up my crying toddler, slung him over my shoulder, and walked out the store, because a woman decided that that was DEGRADING to my toddler (because kicking and screaming on the floor isn't or something right? I mean, it was dropped after, and the CPS chick and I had a nice chat over how ridiculous things are clogging up time better spent with kids that needed help, so that she could fulfill her necessary time at my house, and her very thorough inspection told me where my cat was hiding my kids army men, which was awesome, but still!0 -
One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten*
Hey now being YOUR four year old would scare the crap out of me0 -
It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.
^^^^ This
ROFL. Scary to be a 4 year old? Wow. Just wow. Yea, its the roughest part of your life, you have to eat, try not to sh1t and piss your pants and not act like a demon constantly. How many bills and resposibilities does a 4 year old have? You people are pathetic. And who said anything about hitting with objects? One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten* and a strong voice always worked on me.
So it would appear!0 -
+2 And from the fact if he had spanked his son in the parking lot and someone with a camera phone had filmed it...he would be in jail and labled worst dad ever by the media.
And there is the problem right there. I was a kid. I would never had thrown a tantrum like that in a store, because Dad or Mom would have spanked me. Or Grandma, or the teacher, or someone. It's called discipline. You don't need to beat them until they bleed. That's abuse. But a simple spanking isn't. Once a kid learns that a tantrum earns them a spanking they won't do it anymore.
I had two boys. And neither of them threw that tantrum more than a few times either. When they did, they got spanked. And they learned not to.
We wonder why people are growing up having no idea what is right or wrong. Maybe it's because we've decided it is illegal to actually discipline and teach our children respect for others.
Totally agree. If your parent whipped you until you bleed it sounds like they spanked you when they were mad or frustrated. Keep in mind this doesn't mean your parents didn't do a good job but maybe just made a mistake that time and thankfully you were okay. However, I agree with you about the father trying to reason with a 3 or 4 year old is not possible. They need to know who is in the authoritative position, they can't run the show.
I have 3 kids and they def no better. My firstborn son, who is now 8 then 3, once ran from the back of the Walmart all the way to the front and out the door throught the parking lot all while a delivery truck nearly ran him over. I was so scared but he was handled right then and he never did anything like that again. This is just to say discipline not only shows them to have respect for authority but to also be safe.0 -
One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten*
Hey now being YOUR four year old would scare the crap out of me
then you are a pansy *kitten*. My dad whipped me when I was 4. I was mad as hell for about 10 minutes, then he came to the couch where I wasn't allowed to move from until he told me I could, we talked about why I got a spanking and how I could keep from getting them in the future. Like I said before, I got about 3-4 in my life from him and never got a bruise or scratch but they were still effective.0 -
Have a kid and then tell us how you deal with it.0
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Um.. The kid is 3 or 4. Tantrums happen, you obviously don't have children and hopefully you never do. I dont personally have children but I have a 3 year old brother and I fully understand. I'm sure the father was embarrassed enough about his child's behavior, there's no need to judge him or his parenting skills.0
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ROFL. Scary to be a 4 year old? Wow. Just wow. Yea, its the roughest part of your life, you have to eat, try not to sh1t and piss your pants and not act like a demon constantly. How many bills and resposibilities does a 4 year old have? You people are pathetic. And who said anything about hitting with objects? One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten* and a strong voice always worked on me.
#1: Who said anything about hitting with objects? The OP who said she was beaten with a belt until she bled. The very genesis of this thread was hitting with objects.
#2: Not scary to be a 4 year old? You think bills and responsibilities are scary? You're a coward. To a 4 year old, the monsters in the closet ARE REAL. There are REALLY MONSTERS THAT WILL EAT YOU, while you sleep. Steal your genitals while you sit on a toilet. They don't understand reality yet because they are only four. And you think they're *kitten*, good for you. Further, they have no control over anything. They have no money, no job, no choice in ANYTHING. They are completely dependent on their parents . . . which, for some kids, are probably a bit worse than others.0 -
I'm guessing he had no time/resources to leave and come back later so he had no choice but to continue shopping even while his kid was freaking out.
Really his options are limited. He can't punish the child in public - some douche would call Protective Services. And he can't leave (presumably) so he has to shop with a screaming kid.
Instead of thinking; what a bad parent! I, as a cashier, would have been thinking: God. The poor guy. And I would have maybe even tried to engage the kid.
I've done it before. Sometimes a stranger talking to them WILL get them to stop screaming for a minute or two. Sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't work at all but at least I TRIED to help instead of standing there and casting rash judgments.0 -
I carry a wooden spoon with me. It serves as a paddle. When my son was little, I would take him to the car or the bathroom. No, I didn't beat him with it. But, I spanked his rear. I still carry the wooden spoon, but all I have to do is take it out and show it to him. He knows I'm not playing around.
That said, all kids are different. Some don't respond to that kind of discipline. Sometimes it's better to give no attention to the tantrum & let it play it's course. In that situation, I would leave the store.0 -
Oh this is fun. Its like everyone's personal biases just coming out for a good rage! I'm not sure everyone is pissed off enough yet. Can you all please try harder?
Its not a lack of parents beating their kids that's wrong with our country. Its what's demonstrated by this thread. Everything is black or white, good or bad. My kids are pretty good kids but they do have their moments. I'm sure i'm not alone. If you don't like kids then I'm sorry but you're still going to see them on the streets. I remember not liking old people when I was younger because they were mean and smelled funny. Guess what, I'm closer to old than young now so lesson learned. And, yes there are some pretty bad parents out there that inflict their bratty children on others. Guess what, us other parents also have to deal with them too.
Get over yourselves. And no, making a kid bleed is never a good thing.0 -
See, I see the point of both sides. The parent terrified to punish his child in public because of media these days. But honestly, who grew up never being spanked?
I have the most fantastic, loving mother ever. But she spanked me. She spanked me AND my five siblings.
Yep, six of us. Six kids ranging from ages 12-3 at one point. MANY of us were in the "Tantrum phase" at one time and there was a whole gaggle of us. What did she do? She MADE us walk in single file line behind her in the store. Any misbehaving/ back talk and she would do one of two things, start praying VERY loudly for her misbehaving children to be taken by the hand of the "lord" and start behaving (mind we are NOT a religious family. In fact we have christians, jews and atheists in our family) or she would sing some childish song, like Elmo, loudly until we started behaving. Come time to check out, we had to sit with our back against the wall. No talking. If any one of us caused any scene or had an ongoing fit, we were spanked. I was hit across the face once when I tried to avoid being hit on the butt, but that was just once. I have turned out fine. Same with my siblings. No ongoing emotional pain or "mommy issues"
How someone wants to raise their kids is completely their business, HOWEVER if their misbehaving child starts misbehaving in public, it WILL cause a scene and people LOVE scenes. It will be talked about, posted online and even ranted about in forums. It is what happens. It is what you sign up for. If you get to your child's level, have preventative measures/ have a set plan like my mom did, it might help make things easier...0 -
My kids don't act like that at all because they know they will get a spanking... Spanking is so effective I don't even need to do it any more. I just give them a look and they shape right up. I remember when I was a kid my dad whooped me with his belt on the cereal isle; these days you'd probably have the cops called on you, but I never ever acted up with my dad because all it takes is one time.I carry a wooden spoon with me. It serves as a paddle. When my son was little, I would take him to the car or the bathroom. No, I didn't beat him with it. But, I spanked his rear. I still carry the wooden spoon, but all I have to do is take it out and show it to him. He knows I'm not playing around.
That said, all kids are different. Some don't respond to that kind of discipline. Sometimes it's better to give no attention to the tantrum & let it play it's course. In that situation, I would leave the store.
^^This is so true. Same for me. I very, very rarely ever got spanked because I knew that it would actually happen if I kept doing whatever it was that was getting me threatened with spanking in the first place.0 -
Oh this is fun. Its like everyone's personal biases just coming out for a good rage! I'm not sure everyone is pissed off enough yet. Can you all please try harder?
Its not a lack of parents beating their kids that's wrong with our country. Its what's demonstrated by this thread. Everything is black or white, good or bad. My kids are pretty good kids but they do have their moments. I'm sure i'm not alone. If you don't like kids then I'm sorry but you're still going to see them on the streets. I remember not liking old people when I was younger because they were mean and smelled funny. Guess what, I'm closer to old then young now so lesson learned. And, yes there are some pretty bad parents out there that inflict their bratty children on others. Guess what, us other parents also have to deal with them too.
Get over yourselves. And no, making a kid bleed is never a good thing.
One of the only rational posts in the thread.
The black/white people don't want to acknowledge is that yes... We all realize there is a strong distinction between spanking a child and beating her with a belt until she bleeds. Whether or not you think either or both are okay, there's a difference between these two things to every single person here, parent or not. If you really think it is okay to break a child's skin in punishment for a tantrum, which every child will have at some point in their life, you are a very, very special person.
But you guys just want to argue and I'm only here to troll so what does it matter.0 -
I agree with the first few responders. The only reason I am responding to this is because I have two kids and one never threw a fit but my second HOLY COW!! She is now 11 and still throws these fits....... She is autisitc... she has aspergers and has melt downs often. NOTHING you can do can console these childrens.. so before you go thinking there is something wrong with a kid or that they are just a spoiled rotten brat sit back and think there may be more going on than you are aware of just by looking in from the outside.
AUTISM AWARENESS!!!!0 -
I'm going to agree with PP that you obviously don't have kids. 99.9% of the time, if my kid pitches a fit in public and I can't redirect her attentions withing two minutes, I will leave my cart and exit the store, but that .1% of the time, there just isn't that option, which is probably the case. The father was probably already mortified, as most parents are when their children act up in a public place.0
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It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.
Missed this before.
Post of the thread.
Brilliant! I have a 3.5 year old and a 19 month old. I avoid taking them shopping because it's boring for them. Bored kids act up, and really, shopping is not fun! My son (3.5) loves coming to the supermarket with me and is so well behaved. I don't but him everything he wants and he doesn't have a tantrum. If he starts to whine i distract him.
I'm not saying he's perfect - neither of my kids are - and when they do have a tantrum I just try to distract them so they forget what they were having a strop about.
For all you know that kid having a tantrum is autistic or something. A friend of mine has a 7 year old with aspergers. Don't judge.0
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