Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??
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Children are like farts ..... you can only handle your own. Don't judge. You don't know what it's like to try to handle a child in the middle of tantrum.
You're right - I don't know, and I don't want to know. You chose to have a child and bring him or her into public - if they act up, have some common courtesy for other patrons and remove them until they are calm enough to continue.0 -
Let me say first off I DON'T believe in hitting children. In my opinion spanking does not work and is totally unnecessary.
When my kids acted the fool in a store or other public place, I would walk away. Never out of my line of sight, but they didn't know that. For example, if we were in the grocery store and a tantrum started, I would start walking up or down the aisle. That usually did the trick! they'd stop hollering and scurry after me. The few times that did not work, I picked them up and we left the store.
When kids are throwing tantrums, it's best not to give them attention for it. If I was the dad in your example, there is no way I would have tolerated him screaming for 45 minutes. I would have left the store and taken him home.
For the most part to avoid tantrums with little ones, you need to be preemptive. Make sure they are well-rested, well-fed, and hydrated before you take them out. If you take hungry, tired, thirsty kids out shopping you are guaranteed a cranky time. Also bring a bag of things to occupy them: books, small toys, small snacks, paper, crayons, etc.
You are so right about being well rested, fed, and hydrated. I can get cranky as an adult if I'm not all 3 of these when I am rushing around and my mom was actually really good about bringing fun stuff for us to do and eat, etc when we needed it. I totally forgot about her doing that until just now, but I actually will do the same right before I take my husband shopping. If I sense he's getting cranky I suggest we stop and get a small snack and something to drink and he's 1000X happier. Lol, my mom taught me something very valuable! I'll have to thank her the next time I see her!
Love both
I agree with both of these. It is amazing how far a little prevention can go. We take my daughter's buzz lightyear "rescue pack" (or throw these things in a diaper bag) with us when we are going to be out longer than a few minutes. It contains a drink, snack and a toy. I usually bring at least one snack I know she really likes and will sit quietly for and I surprise her with it before she gets too antsy.
We also do not spank, but do not judge others that do. If it is not currently against the law, then it is not my business how anyone else parents. This parenting gig is hard and most parents love thier children and are doing thier best.
I was origionally horrifed by the OP's advocation of child abuse, but some of the following commenters had actual helpful advice. I cannot believe I got sucked into 15 pages of it, but I am pretty sure I at least learned a new tactic or two in dealing with future tantrums, so it wasn't a total loss.0 -
:laugh:Yeah, sorry. I'll take my freedom, my money and my totally awesome vacations over a child's smile any day!
:drinker:0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
Kids throw tantrums! When my kids were toddlers, I could always tell who the parents were in the stores by the looks of compassion versus clueless frustration from those who have never been tortured by a screaming 2 (or even 5) year old who is smart enough to know how mortified his parent is to have him behaving like this in a store. Hopefully someday you will have children, and you will realize that no matter how great of a mother you are, your kids are going to act like spoiled brats sometimes - personally, I try to remove my kids when they misbehave, but hey - sometimes that's not possible - like when you have a cart full of groceries!
BTW - parents who hit their kids with belts go to jail nowadays. I'm all about being strict, but jeez - that's just abusive, IMO! No wonder you have so little tolerance.0 -
It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.
^^^^ This0 -
I think another big problem with kids today is that their parents are still kids. 16-18 year olds don't know jack sh1t themselves, even though they think they know everything, and are trying to raise children themselves without a clue what they are doing.0
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Seriously people. Think a little bigger here. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES. They could be dealing with having a wife/mother who is stuggling to beat cancer... the recent death of their other child... who freaking knows!!! Sometimes, people are struggling to just get out of bed and survive yet another day.0
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As a dad. yeah. I love having my child break down in public, and all I can think is. Dear god let me get though this store/ restaurant etc. About the only free time I'm able to have is if I bring a kid or two with me.
You can't leave your kid at home alone, can't leave them in the car, and you can't beat beat the crying out of them,
They are kids, they are the future. so sorry society, you can suck it. Love, parents everywhere.
Or you could stop being a Nancy and discipline your hell monkeys.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
Agreed. Obviously someone without kids. I discipline my 3 1/2 year old for bad behavior, I do not give him everything he wants, especially when he whines for it. However, he still thows tantrums in stores and I deal with it the best I can. Sounds like the dad had his hands full with his son.0 -
Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
Obviously the kid didn't get what he wanted or he wouldn't have been having the tantrum. So I don't see how the kid is 'spoiled'.
I have a toddler, and every parenting strategy is different and I try not to judge. The dad described above didn't do anything wrong. There may have been more effective methods, but sometimes when a kid is going nuts it's hard to focus on anything besides trying to get him to stop.
If you can't stand toddlers misbehaving, maybe try shopping online so you don't have to witness it.
Yes, everyone else should have to change their lives because parents aren't in control, their kids are. Great idea.0 -
It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.
Missed this before.
Post of the thread.0 -
You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
+1
+2 And from the fact if he had spanked his son in the parking lot and someone with a camera phone had filmed it...he would be in jail and labled worst dad ever by the media.
+ Whatever number we're on. Then CPS would have been called and his life would have been turned inside out. The problem isn't a lack of discipline in many instances. It's a fear of what hell others can unleash on you.
Been there, done that with my kid. Did the spanking thing, got reported for child abuse. Yep. That's why you see more and more kids throwing tantrums and acting like idiotic little brats out in public, and parents doing nothing about it. The social system has our hands tied literally. I have been through hell and back as a single mom trying to raise a boy. And let me tell you, as irritating and annoying as it is for the onlookers, it is 10x more embarrassing for the parent when your child acts like that. I refuse to stop what I am doing to cater to him though, he has to learn to behave and I have to do the shopping when I'm there to do it. I don't have the time to leave and come back later. I remember one time I went to walmart with my mom, and she went one way and I went the other. My son decided to throw a tantrum because he wanted out of the cart, and my mom told me later she heard him all the way across the store. Yea, those moments - don't miss them. I wanted to just die on the spot. But I couldn't do anything other than finish my shopping. Of course I sternly told him to stop it, etc etc etc. But like the dad you saw, that's about it. I had to finish my shopping, and I had to keep control of him. But I couldn't spank him, or put him in time out, or anything. Like others said, you can't leave the store or go to a bathroom to discipline them because you never know what busybody with a camera phone is going to record and turn you in. And by the time you get home, the kid forgot all about the incident, so there's not a lot you can do. Of course I talked to him when things were calm, explained how we are supposed to behave, etc. But when push comes to shove and a kid decides they aren't happy about something, their first reaction is a meltdown. Doesn't matter where you are. They don't have the emotional maturity yet to handle their anger and frustration calmer.
Not all kids are the same either. Some kids will be hellions, some are very good little angels. Some kids respond well to "soft" discipline like time out and it works wonderfully, but others just will not respond to anything other than a good old fashioned spanking. There is no "magic formula" perfect right way to do it.
Despite what I have been through with CPS, I am still an advocate of corporal discipline when needed. No, I do not think any child should be beat for every little transgression. But when you've exhausted all other means, sometimes they just need a wake up call. I would much rather wrangle my child's bratty attitude today, than deal with a juvenile delinquent who has no respect of me in a few years.
Mine went through it for several years. He is now 11 and very well behaved in public. He's a sweetheart, has manners, and is very thoughtful and considerate of others. You'd never believe he was that screaming bratty toddler a few years ago. Of course now the preteen attitude is starting to kick in...but, I feel like I've laid my foundation with him - he knows the boundaries, he knows what is and isn't acceptable. He knows I mean what I say, and there will be consequences if he doesn't follow the rules.
Anyway, give parents a break. If you see one dealing with a screaming toddler, maybe offer to help them. Don't judge them, and don't add to their stress by "reporting" them or giving them dirty judging looks. Be glad they care enough to expect their child to behave in public. And if none of that appeals to you, you can always leave the store.0 -
It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.
^^^^ This
ROFL. Scary to be a 4 year old? Wow. Just wow. Yea, its the roughest part of your life, you have to eat, try not to sh1t and piss your pants and not act like a demon constantly. How many bills and resposibilities does a 4 year old have? You people are pathetic. And who said anything about hitting with objects? One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten* and a strong voice always worked on me.0 -
1: the child might have a disability, and not be a brat at all. He might not have another way of expressing frustration.
2: OMG have you SEEN the crazies lately! When mine were little, I had CPS called because I picked up my crying toddler, slung him over my shoulder, and walked out the store, because a woman decided that that was DEGRADING to my toddler (because kicking and screaming on the floor isn't or something right? I mean, it was dropped after, and the CPS chick and I had a nice chat over how ridiculous things are clogging up time better spent with kids that needed help, so that she could fulfill her necessary time at my house, and her very thorough inspection told me where my cat was hiding my kids army men, which was awesome, but still!0 -
One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten*
Hey now being YOUR four year old would scare the crap out of me0 -
It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.
^^^^ This
ROFL. Scary to be a 4 year old? Wow. Just wow. Yea, its the roughest part of your life, you have to eat, try not to sh1t and piss your pants and not act like a demon constantly. How many bills and resposibilities does a 4 year old have? You people are pathetic. And who said anything about hitting with objects? One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten* and a strong voice always worked on me.
So it would appear!0 -
+2 And from the fact if he had spanked his son in the parking lot and someone with a camera phone had filmed it...he would be in jail and labled worst dad ever by the media.
And there is the problem right there. I was a kid. I would never had thrown a tantrum like that in a store, because Dad or Mom would have spanked me. Or Grandma, or the teacher, or someone. It's called discipline. You don't need to beat them until they bleed. That's abuse. But a simple spanking isn't. Once a kid learns that a tantrum earns them a spanking they won't do it anymore.
I had two boys. And neither of them threw that tantrum more than a few times either. When they did, they got spanked. And they learned not to.
We wonder why people are growing up having no idea what is right or wrong. Maybe it's because we've decided it is illegal to actually discipline and teach our children respect for others.
Totally agree. If your parent whipped you until you bleed it sounds like they spanked you when they were mad or frustrated. Keep in mind this doesn't mean your parents didn't do a good job but maybe just made a mistake that time and thankfully you were okay. However, I agree with you about the father trying to reason with a 3 or 4 year old is not possible. They need to know who is in the authoritative position, they can't run the show.
I have 3 kids and they def no better. My firstborn son, who is now 8 then 3, once ran from the back of the Walmart all the way to the front and out the door throught the parking lot all while a delivery truck nearly ran him over. I was so scared but he was handled right then and he never did anything like that again. This is just to say discipline not only shows them to have respect for authority but to also be safe.0 -
One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten*
Hey now being YOUR four year old would scare the crap out of me
then you are a pansy *kitten*. My dad whipped me when I was 4. I was mad as hell for about 10 minutes, then he came to the couch where I wasn't allowed to move from until he told me I could, we talked about why I got a spanking and how I could keep from getting them in the future. Like I said before, I got about 3-4 in my life from him and never got a bruise or scratch but they were still effective.0 -
Have a kid and then tell us how you deal with it.0
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Um.. The kid is 3 or 4. Tantrums happen, you obviously don't have children and hopefully you never do. I dont personally have children but I have a 3 year old brother and I fully understand. I'm sure the father was embarrassed enough about his child's behavior, there's no need to judge him or his parenting skills.0
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