Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??

annwyatt69

You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.

My sentiments exactly. My sons have grown to be fine young men, but I can't count the times that I left with them kicking and screaming because I either wouldn't or couldn't buy them something they wanted. I also have a disabled child. Nice to know that there are parents who DO understand. I used to say that MY KIDS wouldn't act that way, blah blah blah. And they were worse. Kids will be kids and tantrums will happen regardless of where you are. You can always be sure that if your kids can embarrass you, they will. The trick is to realize they are kids and not to be embarrassed by behavior that is completely natural.

BurtHuttz

Bills and responsibilities don't scare me one bit, they can be stressful at times though. I am 26 and have owned my own home since 22, paid for my college and have 0 debt other than my car and home. So I wouldn't say I am a coward. If a 4 year old believes all of that then they should be put in a special school to find out what is wrong with them and who taught them that crap. Are these closet monsters at the store and restaurants causing them to act like mutants? More excuses for the kids to act out, good going.

You have zero knowledge of child psychology and regardless of how confident you are despite that, you remain demonstrably ignorant to anyone with even the most passing familiarity of the subject.

But I don't doubt you love your kids and want to do right by them and so that's cool.

moosegt35

Ever notice that those who do not have children have all the answers? LOL

Ever noticed that those who do have children have all the excuses? LOL

exactly. "You don't know what it's like to be parents" Well maybe not, that is why I have chosen not to be one. However, YOU chose to be a parent, you signed up for your little barrel of sh1t stain kids so YOU should have to deal with them, not everyone else.

quirkytizzy

But go ahead and keep promoting child abuse.

Nope. Sorry. I WAS abused. Being spanked on the butt a few times with an open hand - when they did decide to that (rarely, but once in a while) was not abuse. The other **** they did was.

You'll wind up comparing a bunch of kids who were spanked and turned out fine to those of us who were beat with belt buckles - and trust me, minimizing that kind of abuse is not a pretty thing for a person to do.

abirkel

I was a pretty awesome mom before I had kids, too.

I would've left the store in that situation and not stayed like the dad did...but yeah. Kids throw tantrums, and sometimes it's not because they are spoiled little brats. Life stress, coming down with an illness, hungry, tired, teething (for younger toddlers), etc....sometimes it comes out in an epic tantrum. Is it embarrassing to have your kids cause a scene? Absolutely. Can it be avoided? Not totally. I am a big fan of setting expectations before we go inside (i.e. you need to stay right by me, don't touch anything, if you ask for something and I say no, the answer is NO etc) and trying to run errands at good times (i.e. not too close to lunch or naptime or bedtime, etc) but yeah, my kids have still been dragged kicking and screaming from a store a time or two.

secretlobster

are you a whiney *kitten* in every thread?

I'm an *kitten*, yes. "Whiney" I take exception to.

celestialbadger

When you can't have something you want, you're not very happy about it, right? A child feels that disappointment but exponentially more because they don't have the maturity to understand that not getting that toy isn't really very important. They live in the here and now, by and large, and the perceived loss can be incredibly painful. They are also often unable to articulate those feelings in a constructive way. Thus, the tantrum.

Isolating or abusing a child who's trying to figure out how to cope with those feelings doesn't help. The child has learnt nothing about coping with disappointment and loss. They've only learnt that the people they love and trust will withdraw love or, even worse, physically harm them for trying to communicate those painful feelings. Next time they're overwhelmed, the child will tantrum again, as they're no closer to knowing what to do with those feelings, or act out in some other way if they're afraid of parental wrath following a tantrum.

I get down to my 3 year old's level, explain that I know he's upset and it's hard to not get what he wants and comfort him. Sometimes I have to use distraction because that doesn't work or we're in a rush. It's not easy, not at all, but in the long run I've found it's worth it. His tantrums are much fewer and farther in between and he's more able to tell me how he feels with words rather than screams.

I hope this helps someone who may be at their wit's end with a tantruming child. If we teach them how to cope, they'll eventually be able to do it for themselves.

moosegt35

We continue to feel that corporal punishment is necessary, and many posters on here feel that parents not hitting their kids is why society has gone to ****. There is a reason the US has the highest school violence rates in the WORLD...when adults respond to misbehavior with anger, that teaches children that anger and physically lashing out is the appropriate response to things that upset/frustrate them.

Seriously? You're playing the Connecticut card for corporal punishment? If that's not reaching I don't know what is.

I don't care what anyone says, spanking is a VERY effective method. Same as guns, spanking has been around for a very long time, and school violence only started getting bad in the last 10 years, so give it a rest. If anything, I blame the pussification of parents/society/government for the uncontrolled behavior of kids these days. In general, North America has become pussified.

This ^^ Glad I am not the only one with some common sense in this thread.

WendyTerry420

It's very scary and frustrating to be a four year old.
I know that whenever I'm scared or frustrated, nothing calms me down like getting hit with objects by the only people I can trust.

^^^^ This

ROFL. Scary to be a 4 year old? Wow. Just wow. Yea, its the roughest part of your life, you have to eat, try not to sh1t and piss your pants and not act like a demon constantly. How many bills and resposibilities does a 4 year old have? You people are pathetic. And who said anything about hitting with objects? One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten* and a strong voice always worked on me.

Before I was an adult, I was rarely afraid of anything. I remember childhood being loving and peaceful and I felt very secure. I was certainly frustrated when my parents told me "no," but I love them all the more for it now. And my kids are starting to get old enough to appreciate the limits we set for them. Love is a beautiful thing. Teaching your child to deal with frustrations and fears is part of parenting and preparing them to be adults.

_Wits_

I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.

:laugh: oh ffs.

I grew up in a home where spanking was expected if you acted like an asshat. It was always done in the privacy of our home and it was never done to the point where I would be afraid or claim I was abused. I knew my parents loved me and if parents want to spank their children (for me, there is a clear difference between beating a child and inflicting a sting to their butt), then that's their business. That being said....I'm not going to have a household of kids who will never get spanked. My husband and I have talked extensively about this...and when we would feel appropriate, how to address it, how to follow up with it, etc. Not all families work the same...you should prolly learn that.

And yes...I have a college degree. Two, actually.

moosegt35

Bills and responsibilities don't scare me one bit, they can be stressful at times though. I am 26 and have owned my own home since 22, paid for my college and have 0 debt other than my car and home. So I wouldn't say I am a coward. If a 4 year old believes all of that then they should be put in a special school to find out what is wrong with them and who taught them that crap. Are these closet monsters at the store and restaurants causing them to act like mutants? More excuses for the kids to act out, good going.

You have zero knowledge of child psychology and regardless of how confident you are despite that, you remain demonstrably ignorant to anyone with even the most passing familiarity of the subject.

But I don't doubt you love your kids and want to do right by them and so that's cool.

I don't have kids and never will. Mostly because I was stuck watching my step sisters when I was young and she was a parent like the OP described and never made them do what SHE wanted them to do and they were demons.

Flab2fitfi

I love this - with 3 kids on the autism spectrum shopping can be a nightmare. Luckily because we have preserved and worked through the tantrums the older two managed to behave reasonably well in the supermarket but the youngest still throws a few.

Have you ever thought how hard it must be for that parent with the screaming kid - they probably need to get the shopping done and they know everyone is staring at them and tutting under their breath. I'm used to the 'LOOKS' and the comments and YES if I had any choice I'd rather not be there in the shop either with an over simulated screaming child but hey I need to do my food shop etc . Maybe next time instead of judging asking if they need any help

taunto

Ever notice that those who do not have children have all the answers? LOL

Ever noticed that those who do have children have all the excuses? LOL

What do you mean, Taunto?

its simple really. I have said repeatedly that most folks do not mind a bit of kicking and screaming of a child. I mean.. just part of life. HOWEVER, a good parent, a reasonable parent, a parent that gives a damn about his/her surrounding will simply take the kid outside. It doesn't require you to be a parent or non-parent to know that when somebody starts causing trouble, you remove them from that area so the others can go about doing their own thing.

I mean, take restaurant as an example. I go to a restaurant. Spent my hard earned cash. Maybe I have some lady I'm trying to woe. This is important to me. I work, I am a person responsible for my own actions and take care of things in my life. I would like to have a nice time. A nice peaceful time. Then I hear some kid screaming. At first, its ok. 5 minutes later, its annoying, 10 minutes later, its pissing me off and 15 minutes later my day is ruined.

Now you might say "hey, I have to put up with that crap all day with that kid". Well, thats all fine and dandy however, that is why he's called YOUR kid and hence, he's YOUR problem. You can make all the excuses, call me whatever you wish. But the bottom line is, you're making excuses when you can simply take the kid outside and deal with it however way you want. Is it snowing? Take the child to your car. Whatever you do, please do not make excuses and make YOUR problem, MY problem.

moosegt35

I don't believe in hitting. ever. for any reason. period. Violence is violence.

Another nancy. A spanking never hurt anyone, a beating does. I bet that little sh1t head Adam Lanza never got spanked as a kid either.

NavyKnightAh13

I remember as a kid that if I threw a tantrum in the store, i was taken outside and spanked, and then got put on my knees for a half an hour to an hour and usually the stove was on (don't worry, never burnt my hands I wasn't stupid enough to put my hands on the burners).

I am a mom of a 10 month old, and as of right now, he doesn't cry, scream, or anything out in public. We have gotten a lot of compliments on how well behaved he is, but that is because when he starts screaming at home, we nip it in the butt.

My husband is a huge fan of the anti brat law (which was mentioned somewhere here in the thread) me I'm indifferent. While I can understand the annoyance of misbehaving kids (one of our friends has a kid that by the age of two was throwing food around at Bob Evans and did nothing about it) I can also understand the "not having a babysitter" part.

Honestly though, we don't take our son to restaurants (he has been to two so far), we don't go out on dates more then 3 times a year (my mother in laws side sees our marriage and child as an insult to the family because we got married and had a kid before two other people in the family, my father in laws side while supportive have kids of their own, one is still in high school and they work, my moms side lives too far away), and we both work (my job as a sports correspondent is in the evenings, my husbands job as an IT is during the day) plus i go to school (I'm taking some time off from college classes though) and take care of our son. We figure we can do all that stuff once our son gets older, and that at home dates are best :bigsmile: We have been married for almost 2 years, been together almost 5.

BurtHuttz

I don't have kids and never will. Mostly because I was stuck watching my step sisters when I was young and she was a parent like the OP described and never made them do what SHE wanted them to do and they were demons.

Oh, so you have no clue what you're talking about? DOUBLE IGNORANT. Jesus christ, dude.

madworld1

I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.

:laugh: oh ffs.

I grew up in a home where spanking was expected if you acted like an asshat. It was always done in the privacy of our home and it was never done to the point where I would be afraid or claim I was abused. I knew my parents loved me and if parents want to spank their children (for me, there is a clear difference between beating a child and inflicting a sting to their butt), then that's their business. That being said....I'm not going to have a household of kids who will never not get spanked. My husband and I have talked extensively about this...and when we would feel appropriate, how to address it, how to follow up with it, etc. Not all families work the same...you should prolly learn that.

And yes...I have a college degree. Two, actually.

I'll have a college degree in Psychology very soon. Then, I will be moving on to Master's and Doctorate. I believe in spanking. I do not believe in abuse. There is a difference.

fishandricecakes

I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?

To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.

rant over.

STFU! This isn't your place to say hitting a child is okay or that they should be hit, nor is it your place to judge a parent who dealt with his kid the best he could, I have one easy to deal with child and one difficult child and let me tell you, you have no idea how hard it is. You should be ashamed of yourself for judging, srs.

AngryDiet

Last post!

ngressman

Personally, I don't think spanking a child would have fixed the tantrum. Usually a spanking makes the child cry louder or longer. So it may not have solved the problem.